Posted in: Doctor's Orders
Doctor's Orders: The Road to WrestleMania Countdown (#31 - #40)
By The Doc
Mar 4, 2015 - 8:22:43 PM



Welcome back to the Road to WrestleMania 31. Hundreds of men and women have performed on the grandest stage over the course of its rich history. For the next few months, we will celebrate them all…from worst to best. Anyone who has ever had the honor of competing on a Mania card has joined an elite group of pro wrestlers. I salute them all. Great performances, headlining positions, the fondness with which a wrestler is held in the memories of fans across the world, victories in major bouts with high stakes, and the like will shape the top of the ranking hierarchy from here on. Number of appearances takes a backseat to quality of appearances in a more pronounced manner. And it's not just about matches; it's about the prominence of role. Enjoy the Countdown!


 photo Untitled5copy_zpsrwnmfchk.png
Snowman is a genius



QUESTION OF THE DAY (32): How do you prefer to watch WrestleMania? With a group or by yourself? Stone sober or rip roaring drunk? At a house or at a bar?


40. John “Bradshaw” Layfield
39. Jake “The Snake” Roberts
38. Mr. T
37. Bam Bam Bigelow
36. The Hardy Boyz
35. Eddie Guerrero
34. Bobby “The Brain” Heenan
33. Rey Mysterio
32. Sgt. Slaughter
31. Kane


Day 32: Turncoats, Little Big Men, and Monsters


33. Rey Mysterio



The first thought that I had when I sat down to write about Mysterio is, “I wonder how high up this list he could have reached had he not caught the injury bug during his peak WWE years?”

There was not a single year when Mysterio was eligible to compete that he was not given an important role. Take the Cruiserweight Open out of the equation and that statement rings even truer. From the moment he stepped onto the grand stage, lowest of the secondary titles or no, he mattered. Only want to provide him five minutes for his match with Matt Hardy in Seattle? Fair enough. Rey went out there and tore it up for those five minutes. For his mid-card years, he was one of their hardest workers; and they rewarded him for it just like they did Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, Eddie Guerrero, and Chris Benoit before him. People like to say that WrestleMania 22 in Chicago, for Rey, was a by-product of his best friend’s death. What product, I ask, were those of you that feel that way actually watching? Mysterio beat Guerrero in the curtain jerker when they “went Hollywood” and spent the rest of the year feuding with and continuing to defeat Eddie. When Eddie died, they’d said on Smackdown just weeks prior that Rey was in line for a title shot. The forgotten Palmer Cannon denied him of it. Mysterio earned his spot. Plain and simple. And then he made the most of his chance…and then he got hurt and missed two Manias during the prime of his main-event career.

Instead of adding a tag match with Floyd Mayweather to his Mania match list that also includes an IC title win over JBL and impressive matches with CM Punk and Cody Rhodes, Mysterio watched from the sidelines in 2007 and 2008. Nevertheless, he’s had a damn good Mania run.

32. Sgt. Slaughter



It was a close call to see who would be the last entry into the esteemed Top 30. Sgt. Slaughter worked his way onto the list based on the fact that an entire WrestleMania theme was built around him as the dastardly antagonist. The first quarter of 1991 was definitely Slaughter’s, helping Sarge make up for having missed the most significant portion of the first wrestling boom based on an issue arising from his biggest contribution to the wrestling business prior to Mania VII: his role on the popular 1980s hit cartoon, GI Joe: Real American Hero. The action figure problem put Sarge on the outs with Vince McMahon and his legal team, sadly pushing aside wrestling history’s greatest military gimmick during a particularly patriotic time when it would have continued to thrive on a much broader scale. However, everything happens for a reason. Slaughter’s leaving WWE opened the door for him to come back, turn heel, and be the catalyst for WWE’s most infamous example of “any press is good press.”

Slaughter vs. Hogan at WrestleMania VII was a partisan showdown for the ages. USA vs. Iraq was brought to wrestling. It was a feud that did many things, among them giving Sarge a chance to achieve the glory that he missed out on in the 1980s. In a better match than it’s often given credit for, Sarge and Hogan told a good story and ended the saga on the right note.

Sarge did not offer much else to Mania history, with an 8-man tag and a guest appearance in a European Championship match being the extent of his non-gimmick Battle Royal work at “The Show of Shows,” but his lone main-event gives him a leg-up on the majority of his peers.

31. Kane



Longevity has played a major part in Kane’s WrestleMania success. It has been the sheer volume of his body of work more so than an outstanding resume that has helped him reach this position. Don’t get me wrong; he has had some very good matches. His headlining match with Undertaker at WrestleMania XIV doubles as both his most historically significant Mania contribution as well as his best performance. I rank it as the best big man match in Mania history. To some, it has not stood up to the test of time, but I prefer to watch matches in review as if I were watching them in the year that they took place. Taker had been physically dominated before 1998, but never before had he been dissected as he was against Kane. The Big Red Machine brought similar physical gifts as Taker to the table. That was unheard of. So, seeing Kane springboard off the ropes for a guillotine clothesline was eye-popping. On the kayfabe side, kicking out of the Tombstone once was a historic moment, but doing it twice was enough to bring a fan out of his/her seat. It’s interesting that, despite appearances at 16 WrestleManias (one of the lengthiest runs of all-time), his only headlining opponent has been his storyline brother.

Other notable Kane performances have come against Kurt Angle and Randy Orton, against whom he had card-enhancing mid-card matches. He also made history with his work in the very first Money in the Bank Ladder match in 2005 and the record-breaking ECW Championship-winning night at Mania 24 that earned him the victory in Mania’s shortest match to date. His list of opponents is a “Who’s Who” of wrestling history and includes, in addition to those already mentioned, Triple H, Degeneration X, Big Show, and The Shield.


Day 31: “A Bunch of Ugly People Staring at Each Other…That’s Nice”


36. The Hardy Boyz



Though their overall careers can be easily separated, their WrestleMania careers were linked so closely that it would be difficult to elevate one over the other. Let’s get the comparison out of the way before overtly praising the daredevils that became teen heartthrobs in the Attitude Era. When Jeff bolted to make his lousy art and music and do drugs in 2002, Matt was awesome as a solo mid-card act. My original name around here was “Chad Matthews, V1” in his honor. I flashed the V1 hand signal in about 50% of my college photos. He did good work on his own at Mania, including his match with Mysterio at Mania 19 and his MITB appearances as a participant in 2006 and 2010 and key contributor in 2008. You could say that, because of that work without Jeff, Matt deserves to be ranked ahead of his brother. I would counter that he and Jeff are equals because, though Matt did shine on his own, Jeff always left the bigger impression.

In 2000 and 2001, the Hardys brought back and actually elevated the role of the mid-card babyface to arguably its highest point in history. They weren’t main-event, but they weren’t what you think of, historically, as mid-carders. The Hardys were somewhere in the middle, veering much closer to the main-event than the mid-card. They were amazing risk takers. Ladder matches at Manias 2000 and X-Seven redefined the gimmick forever, setting a near-impossible standard of violence. In 2009, WWE would borrow from that history and put them against each other in a storyline that was also bred from real life feelings of jealousy (by Matt, of Jeff) that can be seen even in this little 300-word blurb about them. Jeff stole the shows and most of the credit for their success and ended up a World Champion. Matt wanted it more, but never got that far.

35. Eddie Guerrero



I have often been asked, with all these WrestleMania series (including the book) that I’ve written over the years, “Which Mania were you most looking forward to?” My answer is usually, “WrestleMania XX.” I got so wrapped up in that. I was living on my own and had very little but school to occupy my thoughts. I was consumed by that event and the match that I most looked forward to from that show was Eddie Guerrero defending his newly won WWE Championship against Kurt Angle. I hyped that up in my mind as the “can’t miss” match of 2004. It turned out to be a little underwhelming compared to my expectations, but it has aged well as the, perhaps, unfair hype has worn off in the last decade. Much like I did with Daniel Bryan last year, I got swept up in the momentum that Latino Heat created in 2004. His push to the top was a wonderful story. He earned it and he made the most of it. My favorite 2004 wrestling memories involved Eddie Guerrero.

Beyond Mania XX, Eddie didn’t have a ton of “Show of Shows” success. He did perform very well in Los Angeles against Rey Mysterio in 2005, but I thought he really slowed down that year. In fact, I’ve frequently maintained that I was not overly shocked when he died later that year because I’d been pointing out his lack of cardiovascular fitness throughout 2005. As it would turn out, there was a really good reason for that – an underlying heart condition that went undiagnosed. He also had a nice match with Test in 2001 and shined in two matches involving five other wrestlers each in 2000 and 2003, respectively.

Rumors swirled in late ’05 of a match between Eddie and HBK for Mania 22. God, I wish that had happened. RIP.

34. Bobby “The Brain” Heenan



The highest ranking personality of the WrestleMania Countdown goes to the Weasel. Deservedly so, if you ask me. All he did as an in-ring performer at Mania was lose to the Red Rooster in 30-seconds, but he was such an integral part of the early days of WWE’s success that the other things that he contributed are difficult to ignore. Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant is the biggest match in wrestling history, but prominently driving that feud was Bobby “The Brain.” Heenan had tried to get the title off of Hulkster and into his “Family” circle the year before using King Kong Bundy, so when the opportunity knocked to take storyline-advantage of Andre’s annoyance with Hulk, he pounced. And it was glorious. His managerial skills were one of the highlights of the 1980s wrestling scene. Be it his work in the main-event, holding Ultimate Warrior’s foot so that his client, Rick Rude, could win the IC title, or getting knocked out by Andre when the Giant turned back to the forces of good, Heenan was memorable.

My fondest memories of Heenan come from his work on commentary alongside Gorilla Monsoon. His call of Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage at WrestleMania VII provides a soundtrack to the favorite match from my youth. He and Monsoon were amazing that night in LA. As great as Heenan was at Mania VII, he was absolutely amazing at WrestleMania VIII, particularly for the match between Savage and Ric Flair. The Heenan-Flair combination in late 1991, early 1992 was perhaps the most entertaining duo in WWE history. Commentary as one-sidedly exquisite as his for that match can take something very good and make it legendary.

When they build the WWE Hall of Fame some day, the wing for commentators and personalities absolutely must have him featured first.


Day 30: Famous Nicknames Abound into the Top 40


40. John “Bradshaw” Layfield



JBL’s is an interesting figure in modern wrestling history. His minor contributions early in his Mania career were very, very minor. Tag team success was difficult to come by in his era and, though he found it eventually, he didn’t find much of it on the grand stage. That was partly why his transformation from loudmouth Texan to high society, rich guy New York transplant was so shocking. He made it work, though. He absolutely made it work, peaking with a 9 month WWE Championship reign that ended in John Cena’s first WWE title win at Mania 21. He never got anywhere close to that level again at Mania, but he put in solid work and has been a key contributor for the majority of the time since 2005. His match with Chris Benoit at 22 was quite good, as was his work with Finlay at XXIV, in my opinion putting his pre-JBL work as Bradshaw at Manias 13, 14, 17, 18, and 20 to shame. I’m not sure that there’s a more titanic shift from one phase of a career to another in WWE lore. Afterthought to prominence is a giant leap. JBL’s work as a commentator was one of the highlights of Mania 23 for me, with his call of Undertaker vs. Batista particularly noteworthy. I would echo the sentiment that he’s fallen back a bit from his top, 2007 form since returning to the Mania booth in 2013, but he still adds points that his peers certainly don’t seem to think of.

39. Jake “The Snake” Roberts



Jake Roberts never ascended as high as some of the past few guys, but his overall body of work exceeded theirs. The Snake was a masterful pro wrestler. I view him as the 80s boom’s version of Mick Foley in the Attitude Era. Aside from his Mania 2 victory that did little more than introduce him as a skilled, cunning bad ass, Roberts was all headliner, all the time during his run with WWE. The biggest celebrity involved in Mania 3 was Alice Cooper, who was in Jake’s corner against Honky Tonk Man. He was one of the top babyfaces at Mania IV and they had to knock him out in the first round against Rick Rude (a double count out) to avoid him stealing any thunder from Savage and Hogan later. He had the honor of wrestling Andre in the Giant’s last Mania singles match at Mania V, which dovetailed into the biggest match of Jake’s Mania career against Ted Dibiase in Toronto a year later. What a match it was – Dibiase vs. Roberts. It was a very 80s kind of WWE match, but it was one of the finest examples of such a style. He elevated Rick Martel to headlining status at Mania VII, proving he could turn a nastier version of chicken into a palatable salad of a Blindfold match. He capped off his original tenure in WWE by helping turn Undertaker into a legitimate force as a babyface. There was nothing that Jake couldn’t do.

38. Mr. T



The last celebrity on our list will be the most significant celebrity to have ever been featured on a Mania card: Mr. T. The 2014 Hall of Famer deserves a lot of credit for the phenomenon that keeps yours truly glued to pro wrestling today: WrestleMania. Mr. T was huge in the mid-1980s. Rocky III was a big hit at the box office, the A-Team was a big hit on television. The fact that he stepped into the ring for a tag team match involving the likes of Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper made the original Mania. For all his perceived faults, his flaky personality, his near no-shows, and his manic demeanor, Mr. T delivered when it counted, both in the lead-up to Mania and on March 31, 1985 at MSG. The wrestling world was never the same after that night.

The fact that he came back for Mania 2 and continued his rivalry with Hot Rod basically makes him one of the founding fathers of the brand. Hogan was, of course, the leader of the pack. Piper was unquestionably an underrated force to make possible what worked so well. But then there’s T. He was the biggest star in that original Mania tag match. Figuratively, he grabbed Hogan by the shorts and launched him to a new level that no one had ever previously reached in wrestling. Then, Mr. T loaned his celebrity status to Mania again for the Boxing match with Piper in 1986.

So, make no mistake about his contribution to the business that we sit here and talk about all the time. Mr. T is a sports entertainment legend, love him or hate him (and best not hate on his mama).

37. Bam Bam Bigelow



One of the greatest super heavyweights of all-time, Bigelow is one of the rare wrestlers that worked his way to the top, flourished, and then fell off the face of mainstream wrestling’s earth. His overall resume includes only a first round count out loss to One Man Gang in the Mania IV title tournament and a silly mixed tag team match involving the Clowns in 1994. Yet, he made one massive contribution to Mania lore that was, in part, one of the reasons why WWE is still around today. WWE fell flat on its face in the wake of Hulkamania’s departure in 1993 and Vince McMahon’s steroid trial. It was in danger of going under a full year before WCW emerged as a legitimate contender to their sports entertainment throne. So, McMahon went back to the original formula of celebrities and wrestlers mixing together. He brought in Lawrence Taylor, the NFL legend.

There were a lot of choices for who Taylor could have wrestled at Mania XI, but Vince decided to bank on the talents of his incredibly skilled big man. Something about Bam Bam just looked real, in spite of his flame-laden attire that seemed better suited for the previous decade. Did he ever wear anything else? As a character, Bigelow nailed the bully with the wounded pride who knew nothing else but to fight his way out of his anger. As a performer, there was nobody else that could have combined the attitude, size, and style necessary to pull off the same quality of match that Bigelow managed with LT. I truly believe that. People talk about the hole in the WWE Hall of Fame left by noticeable exclusions like Macho Man and Rick Rude – and that’s true – but there’s a foramen magnum, too, without Bigelow in there.