Posted in: Doctor's Orders
Doctor's Orders: The Road to Wrestlemania Final Four (updated Prediction Contest Standings)
By Dr. CMV1
Mar 20, 2011 - 7:25:35 PM

CMV1: Here are the updated prediction contest standings. Mavsman was the only person to correctly predict the entire Final Four field and has, thus, taken a commanding lead heading into the final. But it's not over, yet...

Mavsman - 111
Jimmy - 98
Priest - 96
Pat B. - 93
Tom – 91
Howard – 89
David D. – 88
Speyder - 87
Jack Awe – 86
Adderly - 86
Ian - 85
G-Star - 85
Mr. Starbuck - 83
Adam S. – 82
Paulthee - 80
Brandon - 79
Jay Atton - 79
Azreal - 79
Andre – 78
Sean T. – 77
Scott – 74
Hurra Duff - 73
Kafu – 73
Hitesh - 71
Michael B. - 64
Mike D. - 64


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Sunday, March 20, 2011: The Road to Wrestlemania Final Four

Madison Square Garden: New York City, New York

Announcer: Howard Finkel
Referees: Earl Hebner (Angle-HBK) and Mike Chioda (Rock-Cena)
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura, Bobby Heenan, and Gorilla Monsoon

Gorilla: Hello and welcome, everyone, to a jam packed Madison Square Garden in New York City. I’m Gorilla Monsoon and this promises to be a historic occasion. The Road to Wrestlemania has seen many highs, but tonight promises to take things to a different level. I’m joined on this special evening by a special collection of ringside announcers: two of my long-time broadcast colleagues, Jesse “The Body” Ventura and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, along with perhaps the greatest of us all, Jim Ross.

JR: It sure is a pleasure to be here with you three. I never would’ve thought a young man from Oklahoma would be given the chance to call yet another historic moment in MSG alongside three of the all-time greats.

Ventura: The pleasure is certainly all yours, Jim Ross. The Body is here for one reason and one reason only and that’s to impart his wisdom to a new generation of wrestling fans.

Brain: You’re here for the humanoids? Well, I’ll give credit where it’s due to these New York City humanoids. They are of a different breed. They’re smarter than you, Monsoon!

Gorilla: Don’t start!

JR: We’ve got a helluva card here tonight. It’s finally time for the Final Four. What once was sixty-four is down all the way to just four: The Rock, John Cena, Shawn Michaels, and Kurt Angle. Let’s take a look at a video preview of our first match, the renewal of another great rivalry…



3 Kurt Angle vs. 1 Shawn Michaels

Gorilla: JR, you had the call for when these two met at Wrestlemania in 2005 and, Brain, you called it shortly thereafter the greatest match that you’d ever seen. Any comments?

(Michaels makes his way to the ring)

JR: It was a true honor to call such a great match. Nobody has ever outperformed Shawn Michaels in a big match scenario and, although he lost that night, Michaels was not outshined. Angle proved that he was just as game in the professional ranks as he was in the amateurs. This ought to be a classic…

Brain: I called that match the greatest because it was. Nobody’s opinion in this business is held as high in esteem as mine! Nobody’s! I LOOOVVEEE that I get to sit here at ringside and witness this, but I’d be willing to bet the result will be the same. The Gold Medalist is going to emerge victorious once again. You mark my words!

(Angle makes his way to the ring)

Ventura: You can never count out a man with the wherewithal of a Shawn Michaels. I watched this man from the time he was just a Rocker…and now he’s a Hall of Famer to be. You don’t get to that kind of spot without a whole lot of determination and drive.

Gorilla: I suggest Shawn Michaels may surprise you, Brain. Let’s go to Howard Finkel…

The Fink: Ladies and gentlemen, our first contest, scheduled for ONE FALL has a one hour time limit. Introducing first, from San Antonio, Texas…he is a former WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMP-EON, the HEART-break KID…SHAWWWWWN MICHAELS! And his opponent…from Pittsburg, Pennsylvania…he, too, is a former WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMP-EON, KUUUUURRRRRRT ANG-GLE!

(ding ding ding)

JR: And we’re underway here in the Garden in what promises to be a classic match-up. A five-star affair, if you will. Angle and Michaels lock-up in the center of the ring. Angle puts Michaels in a headlock, but Michaels quickly reverses into a hammerlock. The Olympic Gold Medalist uses a standing switch to grasp HBK around the waist, but Michaels counters into a headlock of his own. Now it’s Angle that reverses into a hammerlock. Michaels grabs him by the head and somersaults over Angle and puts him back in a headlock. Angle escapes and takes Michaels into a front facelock. What a frenetic tempo to start this match-up…

Gorilla: The Heartbreak Kid lifts Angle into the air, but Angle hangs on. Michaels tries it again and manages to lift Angle over the top rope and onto the apron, breaking the hold. Angle immediately goes for a vertical suplex. He got him up there! Michaels lands on his feet on the apron! Now they lock up. Boy, I’ve never seen that before. Two men locking up while standing on the narrow ring apron; the kind of thing you only see here in the World Wrestling Federation.

Brain: It’s Entertainment now…the monkey lovers stole the WWF name. You might’ve been dead by then, Monsoon.

Gorilla: WILL YOU STOP!?

JR: Michaels and Angle stayed in their lock-up and ducked back between the ropes to get back in the ring here, folks. Angle puts Michaels in a headlock again, but Michaels pushes him into the ropes. Angle tackles HBK to the mat and hits the ropes again. Michaels with an arm drag sends Angle clear across the ring. Angle gets up quickly, but Michaels catches him with another arm drag! And another! And now Michaels uses an armbar to slow down the pace. Angle is clearly frustrated. I think he thought he was starting to build some momentum, but Michaels pulled the rug right out from under him.

Gorilla: Kurt Angle reverses into a belly-to-back grapple and uses a wrestling takedown to bring Michaels to the mat. He spins on top of him. Now, he’s just toying with the Kid. And now he puts him back in a front facelock!

Ventura: I’ll tell ya, I’ve never seen a match start off this fast before. This is an amazing display of athleticism by two world class athletes, gentlemen. Not since Steamboat vs. Savage can I recall two guys going out there and throwing caution to the wind, Gorilla. You’d think you ought to try to pace yourself, but that’s not what these guys are doin.

Gorilla: You’re right about that, Jess. Rapid fire action here in Madison Square Garden…

Brain: They gotta pace themselves, though, right? One week from tonight, one of them will be wrestling in the Finals. Of course you gotta win, but use some strategy!

JR: Oh, I think there’s nothing but purpose in what these two men are doing. Two of the all-time greats with incredible fitness levels. They could go an hour and it wouldn’t faze them too much. I think they’ll be fine, Brain.

Gorilla: More of the same…mat wrestling from Angle, with Michaels cleverly escaping as the match-up progresses!

JR: You’ll have to forgive us, ladies and gentlemen. There are some challenges to a four-man announce team, but that’s what the kid wanted so here we are. Michaels is back in that front facelock. Angle is, thus far, doing a great job of keeping Michaels grounded and outwrestling him. Back at Wrestlemania 21, it was Michaels who took Angle by surprise with his wrestling acumen and it appears that Angle – ever the consummate mat technician – has learned his lesson.

Ventura: There’s not a man in this business that can outwrestle Angle. I watched that Mania 21 match and you could tell that Angle was expecting a high flying style from Michaels. He wasn’t expecting mat wrestling. Tonight, Angle looks like a man that has been studying film of his opponent. Only the great ones do that, Gorilla…

Gorilla: Michaels is fighting his way out of that facelock. He throws Angle off of him and goes for that super kick!

JR: Beautiful counter by Angle, side stepping the kick, quickly moving around to grab him by the waist and unleashing a German suplex.

Gorilla: And he lands high and tight on that upper thoracic-cervical vertebrae junction.

Ventura: No, it’s the back! He landed on his back!

JR: Angle picks Michaels up off the mat and gives him a belly-to-belly suplex. I’m very impressed with Angle’s focus right now. The catch as catch can style we saw in the opening several minutes has now been replaced by a sense of urgency for Angle, almost as if he was channeling your advice from here in the booth, Brain.

Brain: Well, they don’t call me the Brain for nothing, JR! People listen to me and they get to the top!

JR: Angle uses another belly-to-belly suplex and the complexion of this match has changed dramatically in the last few minutes. It was back and forth until these last few moments. Angle is dancing with what brung him here…and that’s those suplexes!

Gorilla: Michaels fights back with a hard right hand right to the kisser! He winds up for another one, but Angle counters into a German suplex!

Ventura: Look at that grip…he’s not letting go of Michaels…

Brain: Michaels has got to find a way to escape. This can’t be good for that surgically repaired back of his! Or the vivical upper dorissimus thorasis as Monsoon likes to call it…

Gorilla: Vertebrae…they’re bones, Brain…

JR: These are the rolling German suplexes that Angle has made famous over the years. It’s not the kind of move that will earn him the victory directly, but it’s a great wear down move that opens his opponents up to his considerable finishing arsenal, including the Angle Slam and the ankle lock.

Brain: You’re kinda making me looking bad, Ross. It’s a good thing no one ever nicknamed you “The Brain”…then again no one from Oklahoma has ever been called smart!

Gorilla: Just ignore him, Jim…

JR: We’re up to five German suplexes in a row and it doesn’t appear that Angle has any interest in letting go anytime soon. This proud Oklahoman and Boomer Sooner can say with 100% certainty that Kurt Angle is about one big move away from advancing to the finals next weekend.

Ventura: And he stops, mercifully, at German suplex number EIGHT. You know, it may look like it’s just having an effect on Michaels, but that’s a move that will take a lot out of the guy doin it, too. Angle is essentially throwing all of Michaels’s weight on top of him. See, look at the look on Angle’s face. He’s a little out of it…

Brain: I don’t care how fit you are. I don’t care if you can do a triathlon twice in the same weekend. This is professional wrestling and when your throwing around a two-hundred plus pound man eight times or more, you’re gonna wear down! It’s the nature of the business! But Michaels is the one that’s out!

Gorilla: Angle is back to his feet and he looks poised to try and put this one away, Jim Ross…

JR: It looks like Kurt Angle might be gearing up for the Olympic Slam. He’s just waiting for Michaels to reach his feet. Slowly, but surely HBK is trying to get back to a vertical base, but he don’t know what’s waiting for him – a vicious, cold hearted wrestler with a killer instinct that allowed him to win an Olympic Gold Medal with a broken neck! Angle is stalking him…he goes for the Angle Slam! Michaels counters!

Gorilla: Beautiful arm drag by Shawn Michaels!

Ventura: But Angle springs up like nothing happened and clotheslines Michaels out of his boots. He hit him so hard that sweat just went flying as far back as the fifth row at ringside, Gorilla!

JR: Kurt Angle is at his most dangerous when he is angry. He’s got an intensity about him that has allowed for him to beat men like Michaels; it allowed him to beat the Undertaker; it allowed him to beat both the Rock and Stone Cold on separate occasions to win the WWE Championship. And in many of those cases, in order to win those bouts, he used the move that it appears he’s about to apply: the ankle lock…

Brain: This is the move that beat Michaels at Wrestlemania 21! If he can apply this, it’s over!

Ventura: Yeah, but you guys are talking like Michaels is done for. I watched him a minute ago counter Angle’s other signature move when we were all talking about him being one move away from losing. This guy is resilient. I think he’s playing possum…

Gorilla: Angle moves in for the presumed ankle submission. He grabs hold of Michaels’s ankle, but the Heartbreak Kid rolls quickly forward. The momentum took Angle right out of the ring!

Ventura: What did I tell ya…

Brain: This is where Michaels needs to get his game plan going. Angle has dominated for the last several minutes, but Michaels hasn’t allowed him to deliver that knockout blow. He better get his own offense going or Angle is gonna win this match…and soon!

JR: HBK with a plancha to the outside! He vaulted himself right over the top rope and landed right on top of Angle! Michaels is getting fired up! He tosses Angle back into the ring. Angle goes for a clothesline, but Michaels ducks it and drops Angle with an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline of his own. HBK with another clothesline…and now he slams him to the mat!

Gorilla: Michaels is heading up to the top rope, perhaps looking for that patented elbow drop! And he connects!

Ventura: The tables turned pretty quickly. One minute we’re talking about the end drawing near for Michaels and now he’s in control and about to deliver the super kick.

JR: Shawn Michaels is, indeed, tuning up the band. Sweet Chin Music is the number song on the radio here in MSG! Angle is almost to his feet…

Brain: My goodness! What a counter!

Gorilla: Angle blocks the super kick and grabs Michaels by the ankle! He’s got the ankle lock applied!

Ventura: What an amazing move by Kurt Angle. This is a sport of momentum changes and Angle just turned the tide in his favor perhaps for the win if Michaels taps out…

JR: Michaels is writhing in pain! Look at him squirming! Look at the anguish on his face! My GOD! Angle looks like he’s going to break Shawn’s leg!

Brain: He probably would if he thought it would win him the match!

JR: Michaels counters into a small package! One…Two…No! Damn that was close! Angle just barely kicked out of that desperation move from Shawn Michaels…

Gorilla: He got himself turned around just so that he could reach up and grab Angle to pull him down into that cradle.

Ventura: Angle is going to switch gears and go for the Angle Slam. Why doesn’t he just go back to the ankle lock?

Gorilla: Perhaps he wants to keep Michaels on his toes and guessing so that he can never predict what will come next.

Ventura: Yeah, but you’ve got a man down, incapacitated with an ankle injury…you stay on it and it’s over. He’s gotten cocky!

JR: Angle goes for the Olympic Slam! Uh…Wait….MICHAELS COUNTERS INTO A D-D-T! An amazing counter by Shawn Michaels! Angle is out! Michaels is down! He can’t capitalize!

Brain: I could watch this all day. I know we’ve got another match to call, but I could watch this all day…

Gorilla: Two great performers giving it their all as only they can, Brain…

JR: Michaels is stirring, but he’s not going for the cover. No, he’s heading up to the top rope!

Ventura: He should’ve gone for the cover. Angle isn’t even moving…

Gorilla: The Heartbreak Kid is struggling up there, trying to keep himself steady and balanced but appearing to have some difficulty. All those suplexes may have damaged his equilibrium.

JR: Wait! Wait! Kurt Angle is up to his feet! He runs up the ropes! OH MY GOD! ANGLE SLAM FROM THE TOP ROPE! ANGLE SLAM FROM THE TOP ROPE!

Brain: It’s over!

JR: ONE….TWO………………..NO!

Gorilla: How did Michaels kick out of that one?!

Ventura: Unbelievable!

JR: Michaels was about to go for another high risk, but Angle got to his feet and ran up the ropes like they were stair steps and – in an amazing show of balance and strength – grabbed Michaels in position for the Olympic Slam and sprung backward off the ropes! But somehow…someway…Michaels kicked out of the ensuing cover!

Brain: Angle’s not wasting any time. He’s clearly hurting, but he’s uncharacteristically going to the top rope again. Meanwhile, Michaels is out. I think he used all his remaining strength to kick out.

Ventura: I think he’s going for the moonsault. That man does the prettiest moonsault I’ve ever seen. I’ve seen Mexican wrestlers do it with grace, but no one does a more athletic moonsault than Kurt Angle. Watch the height he gets here. If he connects with it…it’s over

JR: Angle launches himself into the air with moonsaaaaaaaault….OH! Michaels moved out of the way! Michaels got out of the way just in time! Angle may have broken his ribs! Michaels is pulling himself up by the ropes. He’s going back up to the top rope. It looks like he’s going for his own moonsault.

Gorilla: High risk, but high reward if he can connect with it.

JR: Angle has reached his feet. Michaels soars into the air and drops down on top of Angle, sending them both crashing to the mat. HBK fell right into a pin cover! One…….TWO……No! Angle kicked out at two!

Ventura: Just a two count for Michaels and I think it took just about everything he had left to do that move. In the long run, I think he’ll look back and wish he hadn’t done that.

Brain: I’m amazed that these guys are already getting back to their feet. Lesser men would be down for an eternity compared to these guys!

Gorilla: Michaels is tapping his foot now that he’s reached his feet. He may see this as a final opportunity. He goes for the super kick! Angle catches his foot again! Well scouted! He throws his leg down and steps right into the ANGLE SLAM! What a move by Angle!

JR: Angle makes the cover! ONE………….TWO…………..NO! Good God, Almighty! Shawn Michaels is stopping the show! The ICON! The MAIN-EVENT! The SHOWSTOPPER! No one has ever outperformed Shawn Michaels in a big match situation and tonight is NO EXCEPTION!

Ventura: Angle is going back to the top rope again. I don’t know why he just doesn’t go for the ankle lock. He’s allowing Michaels to get into his head and frustrate him into doing things that aren’t his style. The top rope? An Olympic Medalist? Stay on the mat and wrestle!

Gorilla: Kurt Angle is now perched on the top rope, waiting for Michaels to reach his feet apparently…

JR: Michaels has taken a heck of a lot of punishment throughout this match. How he’s even able to stand…that’s what I want to know…

Brain: Well, he’s standing…

Gorilla: Angle leaps forward off the top rope!

JR: Michaels goes for SWEET CHIN MUSIC in mid-air!

Gorilla: Angle catches his leg again! Angle landed on his feet and blocked the kick!

JR: And he turns him over into the ANKLE LOCK! The ANKLE LOCK submission is LOCKED ON! Michaels escaped it once, but can he escape it again!? It looks like Shawn Michaels is crying; he’s in so much pain! Tears appear to be rolling down his face! Maybe it’s sweat!? Maybe it’s tears of pure agony!? Angle is twisting and torquing and wrenching at that ankle! Michaels is trying to reach the ropes! He’s almost there! He’s almost there!

Brain: He’s gonna break his ankle!

JR: Michaels is just inches from the ropes! Reach out, Shawn! He’s got his finger tip on the ropes! But Angle pulls him back to the center of the ring and grapevines his leg! I’m not sure Michaels has the strength left to drag Angle’s weight toward the ropes! Only one time have I seen a man drag Angle from the center of the ring in this grapevine position all the way to the ropes and that was Brock Lesnar – a 300 pound monstrous specimen. Michaels is trying. Good Lord he’s trying!

Ventura: Michaels is fading, Gorilla…

Gorilla: I don’t know if he has enough left in the tank!

JR: H-B-K is a tremendous fighter with a ton of heart, but the will to fight is draining from his face with each passing moment! The referee is checking on Michaels to see if he’s still conscious. It looks like Michaels has passed out! Will the referee call it right now? No…he’s going to give Michaels a chance. He lifts his arm once...

Brain: It fell down. Two more times and this is over!

JR: His arm is raised again…and it falls again. I think it’s over, folks…

Gorilla: But it has to drop a third time! Will Angle go on?!

(The referee raises Michaels’s arm up for a third time and lets it drop)

JR: NO! NO! Michaels didn’t let his arm fall! He’s still alive in this match! But he’s awoken to find out that the nightmare was real! He’s still locked in this submission hold and he might have a broken leg! Michaels is kicking at Angle! Just blindly and wildly kicking that free leg without regard to the hold that could be simultaneously snapping all the ligaments and tendons in the other leg! A few of those wild kicks caught Angle right in the chin.

Ventura: Angle looks a little dazed. I think one of those shots may have hit the mark. Just keep kicking, Shawn, and you might be able to get out!

Gorilla: That’s exactly what he’s doing! Michaels has realized that it’s working. He’s kicking over and over….AND HE BREAKS THE HOLD. Angle finally let go!

Brain: That man is on Dream Street. Does Angle know where he is? That’s a glossy look in his eyes!

Ventura: Shawn Michaels has to find a way to get up and capitalize. This will be his final chance to hit the home run he needs to win this thing. He has to find a way to get to his feet…

JR: And he’s doing just that! Michaels has reached the ropes and he’s willing himself back to his feet, the exhaustion evident from his pained expression and the physical damage obvious. Angle is getting back to his feet, too, though.

Brain: You get the feeling that whoever gets to their feet first is going to win this match.

Gorilla: Michaels is back to his feet first! But he can’t capitalize! He can barely move!

JR: Angle is back to his feet, as well. He’s trying to shake the cobwebs off. He turns around and there’s a hobbled HBK ripe for the picking! Angle sees the vulnerability and he’s gonna go right back to that ankle and end it. He charges forward. SWEET CHIN MUSIC! SWEET CHIN MUSIC! SWEET CHIN MUSIC! Michaels falls on top of Angle…

Gorilla: ONE……………TWO……………..and THREE! It’s over! Michaels has defeated Kurt Angle!

Brain: WHAT A MATCH!

Ventura: That may have topped what I saw at Wrestlemania III, Gorilla. There were a ton of two counts in Steamboat vs. Savage, but we just saw a man with a probably broken leg find a way to win a match on sheer guts and determination.

Gorilla: You have to wonder, though, what kind of damage does this do in the big picture with next week’s final looming?

JR: I guess Shawn Michaels will answer that question in due time, but I guarantee you that you cannot count that man out. Shawn Michaels is going to the Road to Wrestlemania Final, potentially broken leg and all. He’s one resilient S.O.B.!!

------------------------------------------

Gorilla: Coming up next is our other semi-final! The Rock vs. John Cena in a match that no one ever thought that they would see…



1 John Cena vs. 2 The Rock

(“Basic Thuganomics” hits and John Cena makes his way to the top of the entrance ramp. The crowd gives him a decidedly negative reaction and a loud “Cena Sucks” chant breaks out)

JR: The always vocal New York City crowd is showing John Cena that they are the barometer for this business. How Cena reacts to this could have a huge bearing in the outcome of this match.

(The music stops and John Cena has a mic in his hand)

Cena: Yo…YO…YOOOO…

So Rock’s gonna lay the Smackdown
Well pardon me for interruptin’ it
John Cena will never BACK down
So Know Your Role and stop talking shit

He says he’s better than me
Claiming that he and I don’t even relate
But I’m the guy you can’t even see
My time is now, Homie; yours was 1998

Rock’s favorite topic is the rear ends of dudes
He talks about them being CANDY
Tonight I adjust your attitude
I’m bout to get SAVAGE on you like Randy

This is Thuganomics makin’ a comeback
But don’t go checkin’ stores for an album yet
Rock – you bring the BITCH; I’ll bring the slap
Now you’re the rookie…I’m the seasoned vet

I’m tearing down The Great One
Both on the microphone and next in the ring
The People’s Champ going down, son
It ain’t honestly NO BIG THING

You people talk about Rock like he’s amazing
Like praisin’ him is the Golden Rule
I’ll show YOU whose doing the Trailblazing
I’m about to castrate the Brahma Bull

So get your ass out here, homie
It’s time to show the world while you were the wrong pick
If you don’t like what I said, you can blow me
But be careful not to choke on my _______!!!! (Cena holds mic in the air)

(“My Time is Now” hits and Cena goes to the ring and poses for a crowd that is suddenly very much behind him)

JR: And Cena – with a RAP the likes of which made him famous – has just won over the crowd! New York is embracing Cena!

Ventura: For now, Ross…wait until the Rock comes out here.

Brain: Was that Vanilla Ice or Skittlez or whatever his name is reincarnated?

JR: You mean Eminem?

Brain: Yeah, what did I say?

(“If you smell what the Rock is cookin’” hits and The Rock makes his way to the ramp and down to the ring. He does his signatures poses and the crowd is going crazy)

Brain: Listen to the ATMOSPHERE in this BUILDING. This is one of the greatest moments in WWE history right now. The Rock is electrifying the humanoids, who are surprisingly showing Cena a lot more appreciation than I think we thought he would get.

Ventura: But the chants The Rock are louder than the ones for Cena. Rock is the fan favorite, at least for now.

Gorilla: You can cut the anticipation with knife! Wrestlemania, Wrestlemania III, Wrestlemania VI, and Wrestlemania 18…we can add the Road to Wrestlemania Final Four at Madison Square Garden on March 20, 2011 to the list of all-time great Wrestlemania crowds!

JR: This is shades of The Rock vs. Hollywood Hulk Hogan at the Sky Dome! Only this time…it’s the Rock who is in Hogan’s role of revered icon of the business making his storied and long-awaited return! Cena is playing the Rock from 2002!

Brain: They aren’t even doing introductions! Rock has told Finkel to stay out of the ring! He just walked right up and got in Cena’s FACE! Cena is not backing down. Rock is a little taller, Cena is more built! This is gonna be a helluva match!

JR: And Rock throws the first blow!

(AHHHHHHHHHHHH yells the crowd in unison)

JR: Cena comes right back! They are trading blows in the center of the ring!

Ventura: If they fight this way the whole time then Cena is going to win. He is famous for his ground and pound style and brawl with the best of them. Rock is more of pretty boy!

JR: No way, Jesse Ventura…The Rock has always been an in your face performer. He may not look like a tough guy, but the Rock is tough is a two dollar steak.

Gorilla: And the Rock just body slammed Cena. And he’s signaling to him that “You Can’t See Me,” John Cena!

Ventura: Stealing a man’s pose…especially a former Doctor of Thuganomics like Cena…is a cardinal sin!

JR: And they are brawling yet again! Now it’s Cena who slams Rock to the mat! Cena follows with a diving shoulder block! And it’s Cena telling Rock, definitively, that “You Can’t See Me!”

Brain: This is amazing! This an amazing match! Tell me when there’s been a match with this kind of noise in a building like this!

Gorilla: The Rock comes back with a diving clothesline! And he’s telling Cena to “JUST BRING IT!”

(The crowd is alternating between “Cena” and “Rocky” chants)

Ventura: I still can’t believe this crowd! They are chanting for both guys! This is like Wrestlemania Six!

Gorilla: And they’re doing the criss cross! Cena stops in the middle. Rock tries to blast him, but Cena leap frogs him! He turns around and The Rock spits in his hand and punches him right in the kisser!

JR: They’re doing the criss cross again! I haven’t seen that in years! Rock misses a clothesline attempt! Cena slaps him right across the face! Where I come from, that’s the ultimate sign of disrespect!

Gorilla: Now they’re locking up! But not for long as they start brawling again! These two men clearly don’t like each other!

Brain: You know every time Cena gets on offense, these people are turning on him. But every time The Rock is on offense, the crowd is split. This is a strange environment! But I LOOOOOVEEE it!

JR: I’ll tell ya, The Rock is doing a lot trash talking right now in the ring. The referee doesn’t seem real happy about it, and the Rock has responded with some pretty harsh criticism of the officiating. But Oh! Oh! ROCK BOTTOM! Cena used THE ROCK BOTTOM on the ROCK!

Brain: What the ….?

Ventura: John Cena has totally disrespected The Rock by using his finishing move! You don’t do that to another wrestler! This is getting out of hand! Cena needs to be admonished! Smartened up!

JR: Wait, Wait Cena is going for the cover! Could it be over?!

(The ref counts ONE! TWO! NO!)

Gorilla: Cena is heading to the top turnbuckle!

JR: We don’t see Cena go to the top rope very often, but when he does he’s been alarmingly successful…

Gorilla: Cena jumps off the top and gives Rock a Rocker Dropper!

JR: He’s trying to make him fame-ass!

Brain: That’s a heck of a move for a guy of that size. This guy is an athlete!

JR: Cena follows with a running facebuster and now he’s heading back up to the top rope!

Gorilla: But the Rock catches up to him. Superplex perhaps coming up…and he nails it!

JR: Both are a little slow to get back to their feet. Cena runs at the Rock, but the Brahma Bull catches him with a Samoan Drop! The Rock picks him up immediately and Irish whips him into the ropes…and catches him coming off with a belly-to-belly throw! The Rock is on a mission! He’s heading out toward us!

Ventura: C’mon! Leave the announce table alone and get in the ring! Go bother Keeko Santana and company over there at the Spanish booth! He’s tearing it apart, Gorilla!

Gorilla: Well, what do you want me to do about it?

Ventura: Something! You’re a former Commissioner!

Gorilla: You’re a former Governor!

JR: Rocky has gone into the ring and retrieved John Cena. He’s tossed him onto our announce table here. The Rock comes up after him. It looks like he is going to give Cena the Rock Bottom through our table!

Brain: This is dangerous. I feel threatened! What kind of CEO allows this kind of stuff to happen!? I mean, I could get hurt and then what would you guys do without me?

Gorilla: Cena reverses!

JR: As I sit here, the announce table in front of me has been mangled and destroyed! The Rock’s broken body is quivering after John Cena countered the Rock Bottom and gave The Great One an Attitude Adjustment through a table made of thick wood and a steel frame! Cena is dragging The Rock’s body back toward the ring. Cena crawls in after, still feeling the effects in his own right, but he makes a cover!

(The referee counts ONE……..TWO………NO!)

Ventura: I guess I can’t really question The Rock’s toughness now. He impressed me there, kicking out after being thrown through a table.

Gorilla: Cena gets back to his feet…Rock is on his hands and knees right now, still trying to get his bearings and recover! Cena tries pick up Rock and continue his onslaught, but Rock counters and takes Cena’s legs out from under him!

JR: He’s going for the Sharpshooter! And he’s almost got it locked on, but Cena is fighting!

Brain: He’s never won a match with this move…there’s a little factoid for you guys to show how indispensable I am…

Gorilla: Ladies and gentlemen… Bobby Heenan…

JR: Cena counters! He counters into the STF! Cena’s got it locked on! The move that beat Triple H and Shawn Michaels in back-to-back Wrestlemania main-events! S-T-F! We had one match end in pinfall, so it’d be fitting to have the other end in submission! Is the Rock gonna tap?!

Gorilla: He’s getting closer to the ropes…..and he gets them! Cena pulls him away from the ropes just slightly and tries to drop back down into the STF, but Rock gets to his feet just for a moment; long enough to back drop Cena clear over the top rope!

JR: Rather than go out after Cena, The Rock is using this time to recuperate and go back at Cena with full strength, or at least that’s what I’m assuming that he’s doing. Don’t make any mistake about it; the Rock is one of the smartest top superstars that we’ve ever had in the WWE. And now that Cena is getting back in the ring under his own power, The Rock is going back on the attack with just that much more energy than he otherwise would have.

Brain: He’s no Brain, though…

Ventura: A DDT from the Rock! If he goes for the cover, then it will likely be over. The DDT is a devastating maneuver that I’ve seen take out some of the best in this business.

Gorilla: The Rock chooses not to go for the cover and instead Irish whips Cena into the ropes…

JR: SPINE-BUSTER! I know what that sets up for, gentlemen. Get ready to see the MOST ELECTRIFYING move in sports entertainment. We’re about to see the PEOPLE’s ELBOW! And the elbow pad is off! He tosses it into the crowd! Rocky hits the ropes on one side…and now hits the ropes on the other side! He drops the elbow, but CENA MOVES! Cena rolled out of the way!

Brain: The new generation of fans doesn’t give this guy enough credit. This guy, John Cena, is one tough customer! As much as I hate to admit it, the guy reminds me of Hulk Hogan. Once you think you’ve got him down for the count…he comes right back at you! It makes it very frustrating for his opponents because – like Hogan – the guy just has a heart the size of the moon! You don’t beat guys like that often.

JR: Yeah, but the Rock possesses many of the same qualities. It’s just one of those rare things that only the all-time greats have. These are two guys that struck lightning in a bottle to get to where they’re at. You throw words out there like legend and icon…both apply to these men…and that’s why this match is so great and why these fans are so passionate about what their witnessing.

Gorilla: Cena connects with a diving shoulder tackle. He’s back up and he connects with another shoulder block! He’s really starting to get it going now. Cena with a Block Buster! There’s a quick two count from the referee. Cena gets back up and connects with a spinning back breaker. He lifts his hand high into the air!

Ventura: What we’re watching right now is the evolution of this business. The Rock made famous the People’s Elbow…a standard move, really, but made all the more effective by the energy that it channels from the audience. John Cena played off of that to create the Five Knuckle Shuffle…and that’s what we’re about to see.

JR: Cena for the second time in this match signals to Rock that “You Can’t See Me!” He hits the ropes and scores with the FIVE…KNUCKLE….SHUFFLE!

Brain: You’d assume that Cena is gonna go for the Attitude Adjustment. He’s already hit that move once and it was through our announce table. Hey, how do you say “two” in ebonics or whatever that stuff was that Cena was talking in earlier?

Gorilla: What?

Brain: You know…the rap…wasn’t that in ebonics? I thought that’s what Thuganomics was?

JR: I don’t know who gave you your nickname, but I wonder if his initials were B-H?

Brain: Hey, wait a second!

Gorilla: Cena is preparing to go for it all and end the match, here! Rock is up to his feet and he wanders right into Cena! Rock slides off his back and goes for the Rock Bottom! John Cena counters the counter and connects with the Attitude Adjustment!

Ventura: That should do it, Gorilla…

(The referee counts ONE…………TWO…………..NO!)

Ventura: A two count from the referee!

Brain: I think Cena is shocked. Look at the look on his face. He looks like someone stole his favorite CD.

JR: Well, Cena believes that his time is right now and if Rock beats him tonight, then Cena will spend the foreseeable future trying to figure out what went wrong. Cena is gonna go for that Attitude Adjustment again, here. He wants to end this right now. Cena gets him up on his shoulders, but Rock uses a double axe handle to keep Cena from getting him in position for the A-A. The Rock pushes Cena into the ropes…SPINE BUSTER again!

Ventura: Could we see the People’s Elbow now?

JR: Rock peels off his other elbow pad, throws it into the crowd, and hits the ropes…….PEOPLE’S ELBOW!!!!! It could be over right here!

(The referee counts ONE……………………….TWO………………………….NO!)

Brain: It is an elbow drop after all, humanoids! Don’t be too surprised!

Gorilla: The Rock would be well advised to stay aggressive. From what we’ve seen from John Cena in this match-up, he’s got incredible resolve. And now the Rock is in his pre-Rock Bottom stance, inching toward Cena...

Ventura: If I were the Rock, I wouldn’t waste time waiting around for Cena to make it to his feet. Just pull him up and do the move!

JR: The Rock grabs Cena around the shoulder, but Cena trips him down! CENA TRIPS HIM DOWN! STF! STF! Earlier tonight we saw Shawn Michaels escape the ankle lock on two separate occasions, but it was enough to potentially damage his body to the point he won’t recover enough for the final. It goes with the territory, but my question is whether or not the Rock has a similar resolve and can twice escape the move that has put down some of the best and biggest in this business over the last 8 years?

Brain: I think he can, but I don’t think he will. The Rock has more on the line than Michaels. If Michaels lost earlier, he would have gone back to his beautiful wife and had her nurse his wounds with her Indian rain dancing she learned on the reservation, but Rocky is a movie star and he’s got millions of dollars on the table to think about!

Gorilla: Where do you get this stuff about Michaels’s wife?

Brain: HELLO!? Her name is Whisper! How many Americans do you know by the name of Whisper?

Gorilla: It’s a nickname!

Brain: Whatever!

JR: The Rock is nearing the ropes, showing incredible strength! He gets to the ropes! Cena drags him back to the center of the ring and he’s going to try to reapply the hold. Rock pushes him off and into the ropes using his leg strength. ROCK CATCHES HIM COMING OFF! ROCK BOTTOM!! ROCK BOTTOM!! ROCK BOTTOM!!! The Rock makes the cover!

(The referee counts ONE………….TWO……………..THREE!)

(The crowd erupts)

Brain: He got him!! The Rock beat Cena! What a match! Cena gave it everything he had, but The Rock is the better man on this night.

Ventura: In the long run, you wonder if Cena can over take Rock in the peoples’ minds in the conversation of who was the most important to the wrestling business and Wrestlemania, but it will be The Rock that will move on to the final. And what a final it will be, Gorilla…

Gorilla: Absolutely! One that I cannot wait to call next Sunday! The Rock vs. Shawn Michaels in another dream match realized here on the Road to Wrestlemania!

JR: Well, for my money, this has been a great Final Four day here in Madison Square Garden, but as we look ahead to next weekend, you’ve got to immediately talk about two things: #1 is the condition of Shawn Michaels and his injured leg. We’ll get confirmation later this week on how healthy he’ll be. #2 is The Rock and how he’ll handle such a different kind of main-event opponent. It’s been a long time since he faced Chris Jericho – probably the most similar superstar to Michaels that Rock ever faced in a big match scenario – so the Rock will have to prepare as best he can for a style he’s unaccustomed to facing…we’ll see you next weekend, folks!