Posted in: Doctor's Orders
Doctor's Orders: The Road to Wrestlemania Sports Entertainment 16 (Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Ultimate Warrior)
By Dr. CMV1
Feb 12, 2011 - 11:00:40 PM

Sunday, February 13, 2011: South Regional Sports Entertainment 16

Match of the Week: 1 Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. 4 The Ultimate Warrior

Jim Ross: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the third round of the Road to Wrestlemania tournament. We’ve got a special treat for you tonight, folks. A DREAM match is about to take place as two former World Champions are about to get it on, here. Joining me in the absence of my usual broadcast partner, Jerry Lawler, is a talented young man by the name of Shane Combs. Welcome, Shane…

Shane: Thank you, JR, but you don’t have to yell. That is so 1998. Cole doesn’t have to raise his voice to make a point.

JR: He needs a lot more than that to make a point, as far as I’m concerned. Let’s go to the ring, where Howard Finkel will introduce our first participant in this match…

The Fink: Ladies and gentlemen, the following con-test is scheduled for ONE fall! Introducing first, from Parts Unknown…THEEEEEEE ULLLLLLLLL-TIMATE WARRIOR!

JR: It was the early months in the year 1990 that the Warrior was given the opportunity of a lifetime to compete for the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania. He made the most of that opportunity and went on to defeat one of the greatest showman in the history of our business in Hulk Hogan. It is still considered to be one of the great matches in WWE history. In fact, it was called a few years back one of the top 10 matches in Wrestlemania history.

Shane: OK, Mr. Foxworthy, I’ll take fifth-grade history as well. It was two years later that the mischievous witch doctor Papa Shango had the Warrior on all fours, vomiting on the floor. So, what's your point?

JR: You’re a talented young man, but you’ve got a lot to learn about setting the stage of a match…

The Fink: And his opponent…from VIC-TORIA, Texas…STONE COLD…STEEEEEEVE AUS-TIN!

JR: I spoke with Steve this morning to get an idea of where his head was concerning this match. I’ll tell you, he was as focused as I’ve ever heard him. He told me that he wanted to gauge how tough the Warrior really is and that he’d make that his focal point in the early minutes of this match-up.

Shane: Amazing, JR! I talked to my friend Bryan earlier and he wanted to gauge how early you’d reference your friendship to Austin.

JR: This could be a long night, folks. Turning our attention to the ring, the Warrior and Stone Cold come face to face. Austin inches closer and they are nose to nose, folks. This is a great atmosphere. This is the kind of setting that the wrestlers live for…it’s what they DREAM about!

Shane: They are nose to nose. I wondered about that. Austin isn’t as tall as the Warrior who wrestled Hogan, but is much taller than the Warrior who returned at WrestleMania VIII. This is intense.

JR: Austin gives him a double middle finger salute. I don’t know how smart that was, as it is only seems to have angered a man that I don’t think you would want to make angrier. That’s one angry man already. Warrior is seething and pounding his chest and raising his arms up and down.

Shane: I haven’t seen the Warrior this angry since he was escorted off the last college campus at which he spoke!

JR: It’s Austin that throws the first punch. Warrior punches back. We’ve got ourselves a brawl in the middle of the ring. Boy, if I had a dime for every brawl that Austin has been in over the years, I’d have enough money to buy that farm in Oklahoma I used to work at. Austin has backed Warrior into the corner. The Texas Rattlesnake is fired up!

Shane: The Warrior doesn’t want a mud hole stomped in him, not after all the time he spent applying his makeup this morning.

JR: The Warrior recovers quickly, though. He’s known for that. He throws Austin into the corner and unleashes a barrage of right hands. It’s about as athletic as a cow on ice, but it’s damn sure effective!

Shane: A cow on ice, JR?

JR: I thought you were from the south? Austin is rolling out of the ring…he’s getting out of dodge! He needs a moment to think this through. I think Austin got an answer to his question of whether or not the Warrior was tough.

Shane: The Warrior seems to be responding to the crowd. Turns out they don’t have to cheer him for power to be drawn. Who knew?

JR: Back in the ring now, Austin is going after Warrior’s leg. I like that strategy if I’m an Austin fan. He’s going to try and chop the tree down and take away a lot of Warrior’s power. He’s got Warrior on the mat now and this is where Stone Cold can really take control…

Shane: Ross, you just said if you are an Austin fan…

JR: I’ll give you that one, kid. Austin locks on the Texas Cloverleaf! Warrior crawls over fairly quickly to the bottom rope and breaks the hold. And now the Warrior is back to his feet. How he is even able to stand is what I want to know…

Shane: Props to Austin for applying the cloverleaf. At least he didn’t go for the cheap pop by using the sharpshooter. Only guy that should use that hold is Michaels, since he owns Bret.

JR: Well, I don’t know about that. Austin backs the Warrior into the corner once again. He stomps in the gut! Again and again and again! He’s stompin’ a mudhole in the Ultimate Warrior and walkin’ it dry!

Shane: He just stomped the body paint off Warrior! Oh, well, just stand by the closest wall outside the building and Cryme Tyme will be along to reapply the paint.

JR (chuckles, then clears his throat): But here comes the Warrior once again. He gets himself out of the corner and goes for a running clothesline, but Austin ducks it and hits the ropes. He jumps in the air! Thesz Press!? No! Warrior caught Austin in mid-air as he was trying the Lou Thesz Press and he’s chokin’ the life out of Austin! He’s got ‘til a count of five…and he breaks the hold. The damage may have been done…

Shane: Thank God Warrior went with the choke. The alternative is the bear hug, which we haven’t seen in two decades.

JR: There’s a body slam from the Warrior – now fully in control, here. Austin is up, but Warrior brings him quickly back down with a clothesline. Warrior appears to be looking to end it. He’s running the ropes, waiting for Austin to return to his feet. Stone Cold is back to a standing base…Warrior dives at him! Austin moves out of the way! Stone Cold will never be mistaken for being quicker than hiccup, but he moved out of the path of that Warrior shoulder tackle.

Shane: Austin knew, if the Warrior was coming off the ropes, he’d either be going for a shoulder tackle or a shoulder tackle.

JR: Austin is takin’ it to the Warrior now, alternating between going after that leg he worked over earlier and just flat out punching him in the face. He gives him a back drop and now he’s waiting. It’s Austin that’s looking to put this match away, now. He could be going for the Stone Cold Stunner!

Shane: Stunner! Stunner!! Stunner!!! Hey, Ross, say that thing about if you are an Austin fan again…hilarious.

JR: Preciate the suggestion…let’s call the match….Austin kicks him right in the gut and goes for the Stunner, but Warrior counters! He pushes Austin into the corner and follows him in for a running splash!

JR: Warrior waits on Austin…he hoists him up. Look at the power! He gorilla presses Austin over his head! Wait! Austin counters! Austin raked him across the eyes and landed on his feet. He pushes Warrior into the ropes and slams him hard to the mat with a SPINEBUSTER!

Shane: Hey, Warrior, welcome to the world where finishers can be reversed. Austin is in charge now.

JR: And the Toughest SON OF A BITCH in the HISTORY of the WWE is climbing to the second rope. Austin throws up two middle fingers in Warrior’s direction. Warrior is up to his feet, though! He runs over to Austin! MY GOD! Warrior just jerked Austin off! ...the top rope! Austin hits the mat with a thud and Warrior hits the ropes. He comes off and THERE’S THAT BIG SPLASH! Warrior goes for the cover! It could be over! One…Two…NO! Austin kicks out! He kicks out!

Shane: (Hey, JR, we don’t really say ‘bitch’ anymore…and Warrior just jerked Austin off? Come on…)

JR: Slip of the tongue. Stick around the broadcast booth long enough and it happens…Warrior is going to try it again! He’s gonna go for that splash again! Austin moves out of the way! Warrior is back to his feet. Austin goes for the Stunner! Warrior counters it again! He hoists him up for the Gorilla Press and there’ll be no counter this time! He drops him hard on his stomach! Warrior hits the ropes and comes off with the SPLASH onto Austin’s back. He rolls him over! ONE…TWO…OH MY GOD! Austin kicks out! BY GOD he kicks out!

Shane: Warrior is so determined, like that time the cops were coming for him because of his homophobic rant…he just became more belligerent. This guy is unstoppable!

JR: Warrior looks deep in thought…that can’t be good. He picks Austin up off the mat, but Austin kicks him in the gut. STONE COLD STUNNER! STONE COLD STUNNER! Austin with the cover! One…TWO…THREE! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!

Shane: Oh my god, Austin outlasted the Warrior. The man in paint just froze after Austin kicked out of his finisher. You said it best Ross, he was deep in thought. Wrong move, Warrior. The man who saved the WWF in the Monday Night War is one step closer to cementing his legacy. Hey, JR, why is King underneath the table?

JR: The Ultimate Warrior gave Austin everything he had, but Austin endured. He endured and he’s moving on to the Elite EIGHT!


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CMV1: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to the Road to Wrestlemania. Things are heating up as we dwindle down closer to just 8 superstars. This week, we get perhaps the match of the entire round of 16 (and subsequently the month of February). The Ultimate Warrior will battle Stone Cold Steve Austin. What an unbelievable spectacle it could be…

Daniel Bryan: Well, it could be “bowling shoe” ugly as Jim Ross would say, but it should be fun to watch. I always thought Austin had underrated wrestling ability to compliment his better known brawling style. Warrior is just a powerhouse with a ton of intensity. Something has got to give, ya know?

The Miz: Nothing has to give…Austin will advance…you can MARK…MY…WORDS! And by the way, as we get closer to this year’s Wrestlemania, I’m getting more upset that I wasn’t included in this tournament as a wrestler. I would’ve won.

CMV1: Dude – you had one match that lasted three minutes at Mania 26.

Daniel Bryan: I can see where this is going…let’s just go to JR…

Houston, TX

Announcer: Howard Finkel
Referee: Earl Hebner
Commentators: Shane Combs and Jim Ross

2 The Rock vs. 6 “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase

The Rock got a mixed reaction from the Houston crowd that once continued to cheer as Austin and McMahon joined forces against him. Dibiase seemed to bask in the limelight as he got an unexpectedly mixed reaction. Rock got the majority of the early offense, tossing Dibiase around the ring like a rag doll. Dibiase got launched over the top rope and out of the ring by a Rock slingshot maneuver. Rock got some water from the announce team and spit it in Ted’s face before tossing the Million Dollar Man back in the ring. A rake of the eyes gave Dibiase temporary momentum, but Rock quickly came back with a float over DDT for the first near fall of the match up. As The Rock stomped away at Dibiase’s upper limbs, Jim Ross wondered aloud when we would see the Nexus. Shane figured that it would be at the point where Dibiase seemed doomed to lose. Rock gave Dibiase a spine buster and signaled to the crowd that it could be time for the People’s Elbow, but Ted wisely rolled out of the ring before Rock could initiate the lead in. Rock came closer to the ropes to head to the outside, but Dibiase grabbed his foot and tripped him to the mat. He dragged him out from under the bottom rope with such force that it caused Rock to come crashing down on the padded floor with a sickening thud.

Back in the ring, Ted went to the second rope and scored with a fist drop off. He used a standing fist drop to further exacerbate the damage. He reached into his boot and took out some money. He stuffed a wad of twenties into the Rock’s mouth and taunted both him and the crowd. The arrogant move seemed only to infuriate the Great One. He sprung to his feet and spit the money onto the mat. His eyes raged with anger as he repeatedly blasted Ted in the left temple with his right hand. A good wad of spit into the hand was what The Rock decided was necessary to add insult to injury and make sure that the Million Dollar Man knew that stuffing money into the People’s mouth would not go unpunished. The Rock followed with another spinebuster and set up for the People’s Elbow. The crowd worked themselves into frenzy as The Rock peeled off his elbow pad. It was, at this point, that the run-in that most people expected went down. Wade Barrett and the Nexus came down to the ring with Sherri Martel in tow. Sherri went right after the referee, grabbing Hebner by what little hair he had. The distraction allowed for the Nexus to attack the Rock viciously. After giving Rocky Wasteland in the corner, Wade instructed Justin Gabriel to go to the top and give Rock the 450 Splash. Before Gabriel could make his leap, Edge and Bam Bam Bigelow hit the ring and cleaned house. Edge Speared Sherri off the apron, as Bam Bam tossed Wade and David Otunga over the top rope. The Rated R Superstar propped Dibiase up in the corner and allowed Bigelow to splash the Million Dollar Champion. As Ted staggered back to the center of the ring, Edge caught him with a vicious Spear!

Edge, Bam Bam, Nexus, and Sherri cleared out and had a minor scuffle more than brawl back to the dressing room area, their parts played and completed. The referee seemed to re-focus on the match as Rock crawled over and draped an arm over Dibiase. Hebner counted ONE…TWO…but not THREE! MDM kicked out! The Rock was still noticeably spent and could not get back to his feet. Dibiase rolled slowly to the outside and started rummaging around under the ring. Shane announced to the world that Ted had just retrieved the Million Dollar Championship belt, as Rock made it to his feet and walked toward the ropes. Dibiase got up on the apron with his back to the referee and The Rock (with the belt hidden). He caught the Rock with a quick elbow that backed him into the referee. With the referee temporarily distracted again, Dibiase blasted Rock right in the forehead with the Million Dollar title. Rock was busted open, as Dibiase got back in the ring after stowing the belt back its hidden place under the ring. He made the cover and Hebner counted ONE…TWO…but again not THREE! Rock kicked out! Dibiase wasted little time setting Rock up for a piledriver, but the Great One countered out with a back drop and got fired up in the process. He unleashed his offensive repertoire, scoring with a series of clotheslines and right hands, followed by a DDT that put Dibiase on his back in the center of the ring. With his eyebrow arched, The Rock signaled to the crowd that – FINALLY – it was time for the People’s Elbow. The other elbow pad was thrown into the crowd, as the Rock did his signature set-up before delivering the elbow to the heart. Hebner got down to count for ONE…TWO…but AGAIN NOT THREE! Dibiase had kicked out once more!

The Rock proceeded to stalk Dibiase and wait for him to reach his feet. As Ted staggered back to a standing base, Rock moved in for the kill and went for the Rock Bottom, but Dibiase escaped, spun Rock around, and latched on the Million Dollar Dream! The Rock struggled with all his might, trying desperately to reach the ropes, but Dibiase was cunning in his ability to steer The Rock away just in time to keep the hold from being broken. Eventually, Ted dropped down to his knees and brought the Great One down with him, the Dream still firmly locked on. The Rock was fading, as Hebner asked if he wanted to give up, simultaneously checking his arms to see if there was any life left in the former 7-time Champion. Just as it seemed he might go to sleep, Rock lifted his arms in a furious fight with no one and found nothing but open space. It was at that point that his arms fell lifeless by his side. Hebner grabbed his right arm and lifted it up. When he let go, The Rock’s arm fell back down. “ONE,” Hebner loudly exclaimed! He lifted his arm again and went it dropped limp by his side again, Hebner called out “TWO!” Hebner lifted the People’s arm into the People’s air and the PEOPLE stirred as if they were about to see something historic. He dropped the arm and it fell down toward the mat, but it did not touch! Rock skyrocketed his arm back into the air and waved his hand, as if to tell everyone, “Not today!” Dibiase was stunned as he tried to hold on for dear life and bring the Rock back to a slumber, but he could not maintain his grip with Rock elbowing him in the gut. The hold was broken and Rocky immediately hoisted him up for the ROCK BOTTOM! Hebner counted ONE…TWO….THREE! The Rock defeated Dibiase at 20-minutes flat.



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Sunday, February 6, 2011: East Regional Sports Entertainment Sixteen

Match of the Week: 2 Triple H vs. 3 “Macho Man” Randy Savage

(ding ding ding)

Chimel: The following contest is the NUMBER TWO versus NUMBER THREE match in the Road to Wrestlemania Champ-eon-chip. Introducing first from Greenwich, Connecticut…TRIPLE AITCH!.

Tazz: Here we go guys, this is going to be a crazy wicked awesome match. I personally can’t wait for this one; it’s gonna be off the charts, baby. I’m serious…

Chimel: And introducing his opponent from SARA-SOTA Flor-ida, THAAAH MACH-OOOH MAN, RANDY SAVAGE.

Michael Cole: Absolutely, Tazz, the stakes couldn’t be higher. A spot in the Elite eight on the line in this match-up. Paul Heyman joins us for this match. What should expect here, Paul?

Paul Heyman – I think there is something that people need to remember about Randy Savage. The newer fans might not get it, but this is a man who main-evented THREE…count that THREE…Wrestlemanias with the World title on the line, winning it twice. He beat arguably the greatest of all-time in Ric Flair at Wrestlemania Eight you could make an argument that he’s the original Mr. Wrestlemania. But his opponent tonight is Triple H – the Game on a Wrestlemania stage is something that’s become legendary. Something will have to give and I’m very curious to see which of these men comes out victorious. It should be an epic contest.

Cole: And we are underway…Savage and Triple H locking up in the center of the ring. Triple H back him into the corner, but not without a struggle. Hunter throws a punch, but Savage ducks under and comes back with a jab. The Macho Man whips Triple H into the opposite corner and comes at him with the point of his elbow up. Triple H gets his boot up and drops Savage onto the back of his head. The Game is now in control and he’s unloading with hard right hands.

Tazz: That’s that toughness right there…that wherewithal that makes Triple H so dangerous.

Heyman: Triple H is a master of his craft. He’s the type of wrestler that has studied the greatest of all-time and molded his own style accordingly. You’ll see some of his trainer Killer Kowalski…you’ll see a bit of Harley Race…and you’ll certainly see some of Ric Flair. That’s the thing about the Game…he is a student OF the game.

Cole: And he continues his vicious assault on Savage. Hunter slams him to the mat and drops his knee across his forehead. Now he backs him into the corner and it’s one HARD shot after another with those taped right hands. He tries to Irish whip him to the opposite corner, but Savage hangs on and slings Triple H with everything he has back toward the corner. The Game goes FLIPPING over the top rope and to the floor!

Tazz: Oh my God! There ain’t nothin fancy about any of this, but I sure am lovin it nonetheless

Heyman: That was the kind of resolve that I spoke of prior to the match.

Cole: Savage goes up to the top rope and he smashes Triple H across the forehead with a double axe handle! The Macho Man is ROLLING! Now, he’s got his sights set on the ringside barricade. OH MY!

Heyman: This is a predicament that Triple H must find a way to avoid. Against a man like Savage, one will only get so many chances to attain victory.

Cole: Triple H COUNTERS! It’s Triple H that throws Savage into the barricade!

Tazz: Look, he’s heading our way, guys…no, no, no! He’s taking everything off our announce table, here. I think we should probably get out of the man’s way, ya know what I’m sayin?

Cole: Triple H grabs hold of the Macho Man and drags him our way. He’s going for a suplex onto the announce table. Is this thing enforced?

Heyman: This could make things uncomfortable for us…

Tazz: What about Savage?

Cole: Savage counters! Back and forth we go here in this match-up. Savage just rammed Triple H SKULL FIRST into the ring post!

Heyman: I talked earlier about how Triple H was a student of the game, but it appears that the Macho Man has done his homework on Triple H. Thus far, he is playing the game perfectly.

Cole: Oh, and Triple H is bleeding profusely from a wound opened up when his rammed into the post. He has fallen to his knees and blood is pouring from his head. Savage tosses him onto our announce table and leaves him to bleed right in front of us.

Tazz: Man, I can’t believe what I’m seein here, Cole. Savage is going up to the top rope? People told me that this guy was nuts, but I didn’t believe it until just seeing right now…

Cole: The WWE Universe is watching as Randy Savage is poised atop the turnbuckle staring at Triple H below on our announce table. Savage leaps, Triple H doesn’t move, and OH MY! The Macho Man has just elbow dropped TRIPLE H THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!

Heyman: Where is Joey Styles when you need him. I cannot think of a more appropriate response to what we’ve just witnessed than “OH MY GOD!”

Cole: The crowd is chanting their opinion of Savage’s death defying leap! It has taken a lot out of the Macho Man, just as it took a lot out of Triple H, but I think it’s safe to say that Triple H is the worse for wear.

Tazz: Macho Man has Triple H and he’s throwing back in the ring. He’s gonna end this right now!

Cole: One…two…No he kicked out! Triple H kicked out! Savage is unrelenting with his aggression. He goes back to the top rope and comes crashing DOWN with another double axe handle smash. Once again, Savage is ROLLING! The controlled frenzy of the Macho Man on display here tonight! He goes for the cover and earns a one, two, but NO! Triple H kicks out again…

Heyman: There comes a point in time when Macho Man will have to step outside his comfort zone. Triple H comes from a different, more aggressive era, and he is used to absorbing a lot of punishment.

Cole: Savage raises his elbow and runs toward the Game, but Trips catches him before he can deliver the strike and plants him in the mat with a vicious SPINEBUSTER! One, two…No! The Game can only manage a near fall, but he may have just bought himself the much needed time to recover.

Tazz: I’ve been in the ring with Triple H before. This is the time when he’s going to go for the kill…

Cole: They are both back to their feet, but it’s Triple H who gets back on the offensive first. There’s a running clothesline…and now a facebuster! Savage somehow is getting back to his feet! Macho Man tries for a running clothesline of his own. Triple H moves out of the way! The Game delivers a Harley Race style running high knee. VINTAGE move by Triple H. There’s a one, two, but NO! Savage kicks out!

Heyman: Big ups to these two men for this match! This is excited as a man can get with his clothes on!

Tazz: Hey, I don’t know about all that, Paul…but hey man whatever! I’m excited, too, man! This is awesome! Awesome match!

Cole: Savage is back to his feet now and Triple H puts him in a headlock. Hunter tosses him into the ropes, but Macho Man comes back and drills him with a running elbow to the skull! Triple H gets right up – how did he do that after all the punishment he has taken? – and OH! What a running clothesline from the Game! Did you hear that smack!? But now they’re both back to their feet and running at each other. DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!

Tazz: I love that move, Cole!

(The referee stalls for a moment, but begins the double count out process)

Cole: Both men better be careful or they’ll both be counted out. We’re up to a five count and both men are stirring. It looks like Savage is going to get up first, but Triple H appears to be getting back to his feet, as well. The referee’s count reaches nine, but both men are back to their feet. Triple H goes for another running clothesline…Savage ducks it! He delivers a sharp right jab into the area of Triple H’s kidneys! The Game is struggling to stay upright!

Tazz: Here comes the Macho Man with a running knee into that same area. I’ve had that done to me in the past and it don’t feel good.

Cole: The running knee sends the Game crashing into the turnbuckle. Savage grabs him by the hair, gets a running start, and jumps over the top rope! He snaps Triple H’s throat right across that rope! VINTAGE Macho Man!

Tazz: I don’t think I ever expected Triple H to struggle like this…even if it was against a guy like Macho Man. I think we’ve seriously underestimated the damage done to this man a couple of weeks ago by Brock Les-nah.

Cole: Savage wastes little time going back to the top rope. HE NAILED IT! FLYING ELBOW DROP from SAVAGE! One, two – SAVAGE IS GOING TO MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ROUND – NO! He kicked out…

Heyman: Randy Savage is simply going to have to do more. He can’t just get away with the same things he did to win matches against so many opponents in the past. Again, Triple H is made of sterner stuff. Two of his greatest rivalries were against arguably two of the top three superstars of all-time in The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin. You don’t face guys like that routinely on stages like Wrestlemania and not learn to withstand an amazing amount of punishment!

Tazz: Savage can’t believe it!

Cole: The Macho Man gets back to his feet! Triple H is slowly trying to make it back to his as Randy contemplates what to do next. But look at the Game. Look at his face! Look at the determination! Look at the emotion! He makes it to his feet as Savage approaches to continue his onslaught. Wait! Triple H kicks him in the gut!

Heyman: PEDIGREE!?

Tazz: COUNTER! COUNTER!

Cole: Savage rolls him up and grabs a handful of tights for the ONE…TWO…and THREE! NOT LIKE THIS!

Tazz: He did it again! He beat Chris Jericho almost the exact same way! But the fact of the matter is that he found a way to win!

Heyman: The bottom line is that Savage did what he needed to do in order to advance. He won the World Championship that way in 1992 at Wrestlemania VIII. He just won the big one again! He is going to the Elite Eight and there’s nothing more Triple H can do about it! It will be Savage vs. Cena!


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CMV1: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to the Road to Wrestlemania…the tournament where we bring to life the greatest of all-time in their prime. We’re down to 16 from what was once 64 and this weekend we’ll find out who will meet in next month’s East Regional final. First up, it’s John Cena vs. Roddy Piper. I’m joined by The Miz and Daniel Bryan. Gentlemen, what does Piper have to do to beat Cena today?

The Miz: You make it sound like Piper is the underdog, but I…ask…you…this: Did Piper ever really lose a one-on-one match to Hulk Hogan? How many people avoided putting their shoulders to the mat for the three count when it was Hogan making the cover? Roddy Piper is not a guy that I like…but you have to respect him. Where is the respect in implying that Cena is the favorite over Piper? This is – at the very least – an evenly matched contest.

Daniel Bryan: Thanks for not answering the question, Miz…

The Miz: SHUT UP, LOSER!

Daniel Bryan: Anyway…I think Piper is going to have to work really hard to overcome Cena when he gets the all important M-O. When Cena gets his momentum going, he’s about as difficult to beat as anyone in the history of the business, so Piper needs to ride those tides. I think that’s his only real chance…

CMV1: Well, Cena will have home ring advantage. Let’s head out to Boston…

Boston, MA

Announcer: Tony Chimel
Referee: Mike Chioda
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, and Paul Heyman

1 John Cena vs. 4 “Rowdy” Roddy Piper

The first thing that Heyman suggested on commentary is that Cena would have to deal with an unfamiliar factor…he would not have the mental edge right from the start of the match. Many stars of Cena’s era, he continued, suffered immediately from the star status of John Cena, allowing it to eat at their minds before they ever stepped foot in the ring with him. However, he suggested that a guy like Piper dealt with a similar man in Hulk Hogan during the late 80’s and went toe-to-toe and blow for blow with him like no one else ever had. So, as the match got under way and Cena let loose a flurry of offense including such patented moves as the diving shoulder tackle, the running one handed facebuster, and the Blockbuster, Heyman had to scramble to back up his words that Piper showed no intimidation. Piper quickly answered his ringside call and countered Cena’s Prototype spinning back drop, landed on his feet, and poked The Chain Gang Leader right in the eyes before delivering an atomic drop that sent Cena out of the ring.

Piper not only taunted Cena while the Doctor of Thuganomics was on the floor. He also picked out several Pro-Cena signs in the crowd and shouted words that can best be described as “sinisterly cruel.” Cena slowly made his way to the apron, but Piper suplexed him back into the ring as if to say “Welcome Back.” The Hot Scot blasted him repeatedly with jabs and crosses, as he Ali-Shuffled his way across the ring. Nothing but confidence was exuded from that point forward from the Hot Rod. He body slammed and elbow dropped Cena repeatedly and without remorse. Even when the referee pleaded with Piper to stop or risk disqualification, Piper trudged on. He sat Cena on the top turnbuckle and went up after him. He gave Cena a superplex back to the mat. It earned him just a near fall, but you could tell that much damage had been done.

Cena showed a lot of grit and intestinal fortitude by battling back when it seemed that all hope had been lost for him. Cena showed a considerable strength advantage when he powered out of a Piper Greco Roman Knuckle Lock. He lifted Piper up and dropped him hard to the mat with a Fisherman suplex. He climbed to the top rope and smashed Roddy’s face into the canvas with a Fame-Ass-er off the top turnbuckle. Cena pumped up his shoes and had Piper clearly on the ropes when he struck him hard across the chest with a running clothesline. Piper tried a desperation right cross, but Cena ducked under it and lifted him into the air for the spinning back drop. “You Can’t See Me” the crowd chanted as Cena waved his hand in front of his face. Cena connected with the fist drop that follows the Five Knuckle Shuffle. 1…2…No! Piper kicked out! But then Cena dropped down on Piper and locked him into the STF! Piper struggled with all his might to try and reach the bottom rope and break the hold. Try as he might, he just could not seem to overpower Cena. Perhaps as a last ditch attempt, Piper leaped up to his knees and threw himself forward. The gamble paid off, for it saw Cena go crashing face first into the middle turnbuckle.

Piper got to his feet just as Cena had reached his and threw his arms around the back of his neck to lock on the sleeper hold. Cena seemed immediately zapped of all his remaining energy as Piper clamped down harder on his head and neck region. The arteries were being pinched and the lack of blood flow turned Cena’s face a shade of purple. Cena’s hand dropped for the first time. Then, it dropped for a second time and the crowd got antsy. The referee lifted his hand up for the third time and slowly let go of Cena’s arm. It was inches from hitting the mat and ending the match when Cena reached up, grabbed Piper by the shoulder joint, and used the momentum to hoist him into the air and into the position for the Attitude Adjustment. Yet, instead of being dropped with the FU, Piper wiggled his way to his feet, grabbed Cena by the head, and ran forward before leaping and driving Cena’s head into the mat with a bulldog. Piper sold it like it was the shot that would win him the World Series as he crawled on top of Cena’s fallen body and covered him for the one and the two, but not the three. Piper pulled him up to his feet, but Cena came out of nowhere with a powerful pick up of Piper right into the position for the AA. ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT screamed Michael Cole, as Heyman and Tazz simultaneously called it the F-U! Cena covered for the one, two, and three to end the match and move to the Elite 8 at the 16-minute mark.