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Mr. Tito's PHAT WWE Hell in a Cell 2016 Pay Per View Review with Match Ratings & Show Grade
By Mr. Tito
Oct 30, 2016 - 11:17:00 PM

Follow Mr. Tito on Twitter.com: @titowrestling

Welcome to Mr. Tito's PHAT WWE Hell in a Cell 2016 Pay Per View exclusively here at LordsofPain.net / WrestlingHeadlines.com. As I've done for the last 2 years, this column will be written and instantly posted after the show ends. Seems to be working format that (a) provides you a column immediately following the show and (b) saves me time. I used to watch the show and then write a review... But I'm trying my best to combat insomnia...

Heading into HELL IN A CELL, my expectations were very low. I've soured on the RAW brand, as its main stars Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins have broken characters while Kevin Owens isn't supported as WWE Universal Champion as he should be. Midcard for RAW does nothing for me despite the RAW brand arguably having a deeper midcard bench than Smackdown. In particular, the Cruiserweight Division is poorly introducing and marketing their wrestlers and the Women's division is getting boring with Charlotte's loud character sucking the air out of everything. I like her as a talent, but it's not drawing for me as a heel. I actually can't wait for the New Day to beat the record already just to end that logjam and let the rest of the division to breathe.

What I said above justifies why RAW is now permanently under 3.0 million unless old WCW veterans can appear on the show for the first time in 12 years.

And I HATE the "Hell in a Cell" Event. Why? The simple premise of "because it is October, we wrestle oversized cage matches". What kind of psychology is that? Just like in December when just because it was December, wrestlers HAVE to participate in TLC matches. Huh? It's a month with Halloween which has been quickly becoming a massive financial event. Why not capitalize on it, WWE? There's always the WCW Pay Per View name "Halloween Havoc", but if not that name, just carry the Halloween theme. Fans would come to an arena dressed as whatever and it would motivate them to care about a wrestling event that the attending.

Mr. Tito's PHAT WWE HELL IN A CELL 2016 Pay Per View Review (RAW Brand)

I casually watched the Pre-Game show... I do like the crew of Jerry Lawler, Booker T, and Lita. As for the matches, I remember seeing a 6 man Cruiserweight match as I was taking out the trash and putting the kiddos to bed... But it was just lots of spots with the WWE once again putting those guys out there and expecting you to immediately like it. It's not 1996 when we first saw that type of spotfest wrestling for the first time and popped for it. 20 freakin' years have passed... By the way, that cross-promotional KFC stuff actually discourages me from eating there. Stupid commercials which help define what the WWE has become with its role in the corporate gang bang.

Onto the real show... The hype of the "Triple Main Event" has been pushed hard during Pre-Game and now at the beginning. I hope that those matches deliver in a cage.

HOT OPENER was one of the "Triple Main Event" matches as it was the Hell in a Cell match between Rusev vs. Roman Reigns (c). Of course, Roman Reigns, THE CHAMPION, would come out second. But I'll give Roman the benefit of the doubt here... His match last year against Bray Wyatt at this same event was his BEST EVER. Seems that when the match is more brawling and involves dangerous spots, he improves. Reigns struggles to wrestle an athletic looking wrestling match because he lacks the cardio for it and refuses to invest time in learning the psychology of the business (the art of selling). Mixed crowd here as Rusev is a textbook heel who gets heel heat and doesn't get the marks rooting for him, mostly, just to troll. Both go quickly on the outside to slam each other into the cage's walls and using the steps. Here's an idea: grab a camera from one of the cameramen and beat your opponent senseless! Worked for Sid at Survivor Series 1996 (but not in a cage)... "USA" chants break out which justifies why Reigns is in an extensive program with Rusev. Rusev was irish whipping Reigns into multiple corners and it completely blew Reigns up. Covered in sweat and his mouth is wide open to suck wind. That's new... Rusev put the top Steel Step onto the top rope, but nothing occurred. Crowd keeps chanting "Tables, Tables, Tables"... Well, you didn't get behind the guys who did nothing but Tables (the Dudleys), so get over yourselves. Rusev gets out the Kendo Stick as I wonder, once again... WHO PUTS THAT UNDER THE RING?!? Reigns steals the stick and beats Rusev with it. Reigns got nutted coming through the ropes and then gets tangled in the ropes by Rusev. Now, Rusev is only hitting Reigns in the torso which is, of course, protected by a Bulletproof vest. No headshots? To prove that the Bulletproof protected his ribs, Reigns quickly gets out of the ropes and hits the Superman Punch. JUST STUPID. Nice counter sequences between the two and then Reigns hits Superman Punch #2, but 2 count only. Nice Superkick by Rusev to counter the Spear and then Rusev threw Reigns into the Steel Steps on the top rope. That could have been a GREAT finish, but 2 count only. Accolade submission applied, Reigns escapes it, but Rusev kicks Reigns in the head. Rusev grabs a chain to prove that he's a Russian wrestler, but Reigns suddenly has tons of energy and unloads punches on him. Back in the ring, Rusev recovers the chain and begins to beat Reigns with it. Bottom Steel Step is now in the ring thanks to Rusev, Reigns has yet another burst of energy but Rusev fends that off with a shove into the steps and then Superkick. Rusev plants a lifeless Roman Reigns on the top Steel step and then applies the Chain in Reign's Mouth for the Accolade submission (can't choke him with it in the PG Era). Of course, Reigns muscles out of that and does a Samoan Drop on Rusev onto the steps. Looked good, but again, LACK OF PSYCHOLOGY. Shortly thereafter, Reigns jumps off that bottom Steel Step to hit a Spear on Rusev to retain his US Title. [ ***1/4 ] for good brawling but a lack of psychology on Reigns's end to pull down the match's rating. He just can't sell worth a damn and the match was booked to give him multiple heroic comebacks. Yeah, this Vince McMahon induced babyface push isn't stopping anytime soon. Rusev continues to look great in the ring which makes me wonder why he isn't getting pushed to the top? I wonder if Michael Cole enjoys spewing out the pro-Roman Reigns propaganda all match long?

Backstage, Kevin Owens cuts a promo on Seth Rollins. I hate that Red Universal Title belt.

Up next, Bayley comes out and her recent struggles on the RAW roster makes me wonder WHO backstage is messing with her. It's simple... Reportedly, WWE Executive Producer HATES how thick Becky Lynch's Irish accent is and wants to reduce her promo times. If Dunn is petty on that, you can be assured that he's the one who doesn't get Bayley. After all, Dunn is the Godfather of those Diva Search contests which has provided NO long-term successful hires. Dunn is a broken human being who eats mouthfuls of 'Member Berries all day long to reminisce of the late 1990s days of Sable. 'Member Sable? Oh I remember Sable! Bayley's opponent is Dana Brooke who has one of the victories over Bayley. The match was mostly Dana Brooke physically manhandling Bayley to continue that trend of "Bayley is not worthy of WWE". Bayley tries to get momentum, but there's no reaction. WWE has already damaged her. Eventually, Bayley hit the Bailey to Belly finisher to win. [ ** ] As I've said before, if you're name isn't Charlotte, why be on the RAW roster as a female?

KFC commercial again with Dolph Ziggler and the Miz, which again undermines their serious feud on Smackdown. Goes to show you that the focus of the WWE is to appear corporate instead of protecting its own business.

Cool WWE 2K17 commercial, though...

Backstage, Stephanie McMahon and Mick Foley chat and instead of focusing on the current show, they discuss Survivor Series. Poor Bill Goldberg... Stephanie does his chant which means fans will turn on him... Chris Jericho joins the conversation and insists that he join the Team RAW Survivor Series team. Hey guys, we have a Pay Per View going on here... THE LIST has been a nice addition to Jericho's character.

Blistering promo by Enzo & Big Cass, and not just by Enzo but Big Cass was showing great improvement in cutting a promo. I loved how Cass was going after Gallows (Big Gal) and Enzo was ripping Anderson (Andy). By the way, an AJ Styles interview suggest that both Gallows & Anderson can put down beer with no problem. Why not exploit that? Worked for Steve Austin and ABA? I don't care if it's the PG Era. I see Budweiser or Bud Light commercials everywhere. Good back and forth between the two teams and then my WWE Network freezes for no apparent reason. Tested my connection, tested other applications using the internet, ALL WORKING. Back to the match, and the same type of match continued which I'm OK with because I'm sick of seeing Enzo as repeat "face in peril". This time, however, the WWE used the "Big Cass gets taken out, heels dominate Enzo" method. Of course Enzo, the weakest link, gets destroyed. Anderson/Gallows hit their finisher to win as I wonder where the WWE is going with each team. [ *1/2 ], and yes I can grade that despite the WWE Network cutting me off briefly. That's PART OF THE MATCH because it was their disconnection to my internet server, not mine. Thus, it becomes part of the match.

Looks like the Women's Title match is Main Eventing and only the WWE will make a big deal about it. Honestly, when you're World Title match lacks drawing starpower, it's not that surprising to have the Women's Title on last. Up next, it was Kevin Owens (c) vs. Seth Rollins with Kevin Owens coming out FIRST. Your World Champion comes out FIRST?!? What kind of horsecrap is that, especially to protect a non-drawing former World Champion like Rollins? Michael Cole remarks that it has been 16 straight Pay Per Views (which he has participated) in which Rollins has competed for the World Title. And what does he have to show for it? 1 million fewer viewers of RAW? Yeah, I'm cutting deep tonight... Match starts off with the usual "brawling on the outside" blueprint because if you cannot to to the top of the cage and perform daredevil jumps, what's the point? The cage just replaces the barrier on the outside and everybody uses the Steel Steps. Good exchanges between Rollins and Owens when they are in the ring, though... Which begs the question... Why is this in a Cage? Owens sets up a table in a diagonal fashion on top of another table and against the cage... That's 2 weapons set-ups that I haven't seen before, good for you WWE. How does that Suplex on the side apron not paralyze wrestlers? Goes to show you that these guys know how to bump. Owens with the Fire Extinguisher, which actually makes sense to have under the ring. He accidentally sprays the referee which OPENS THE CAGE DOOR. I thought that would have been an opening for Triple H to invade, but Chris Jericho then sneaks into the Cell and locks the door behind him. Jericho gets bumped into the cage early by Rollins but that distraction is enough for a modified powerbomb by Owens to be hit. 2 Count only. MAJOR PROPS to Kevin Owens for helping Seth Rollins with that Powerbomb, as Rollins struggled lifting him but Rollins then helped him muscle back into position. Then, Owens takes a Powerbomb into that Table set-up earlier by Owens. OUCH, that was BRUTAL. Beautiful Frog Splash by Rollins but 2 count only because Chris Jericho pulled out the referee. Rollins is PISSED and goes after Jericho on the outside. Jericho gets powerbombed into the side of the cage. Kevin Owens, however, has been recovering in the ring and as Rollins enters, Pop-up Powerbomb but for 2 count only. Jericho recovers and hands Owens a chair. BRUTAL chairshots on poor Rollins's body but then Rollins NO SELLS that and starts swinging a chair himself. DEVASTATING DDT on the chair by Owens, though, and then Owens sets up 2 chairs to get powerbombed through them by Owens. 1, 2, 3 and Owens wins! That was a damn good match that helps salvage this show from possibly trending downward. LOVE THE HEEL WORK by Owens and Jericho. [ ****1/2 ]. Match delivered and the WWE should push Owens/Jericho extra hard as a duo now. They are money... Now, if the WWE could just figure out WHAT Rollins is with his Tweener stuff, it could draw bigger money. Afterward, Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Rollins to maybe set-up that feud while Kevin Owens moves on (probably Roman Reigns, damn it).

So TJ Perkins, the Cruiserweight Champion, gets to come out second for his match against Brian Kendrick but Owens, the World Champion of the brand, can't? Bah, piss on you and your lack of tradition, WWE. FINGER OF SHAME. And as we start this match, WWE Network freezes again. Connection test again, other applications work fine on the internet, the WWE needs to improve their connection to my ISP. As I reload the WWE Network application, I keep seeing snapshots of previous match-ups during the day which tells me that the Network has some issues with the information they are sending along their connections. Poor guys have to follow that grew Owens/Rollins match and the crowd is quite silent... But the division isn't catching on because the WWE is using a retread from WWE's past in Brian Kendrick instead of pushing another unique wrestler from the Cruiserweight Classic. Nothing against Kendrick, but brand new weightclass divisions, like WCW during 1996, sell when a whole new crop of wrestlers are used (Malenko, Mysterio, Psychosis, Ultimo Dragon, etc.). Cruiserweight Classic had that unique set of wrestlers, too, and that's why it was successful. Nothing eventful in this match to tell any kind of story, as both wrestlers sold nothing and didn't connect with fans with any of their stuff. Paint-by-numbers RAW match and this division is already dead. So long TJ Perkins, the WWE machine just ate you alive. New Champion in Brian Kendrick as a "thank you" for training Eva Marie. And my comments aren't personal to Brian, but how Vince McMahon is probably viewing the new Cruiserweight division. Gotta get out of your comfort zone, Vince. [ * ]

Backstage, Sheamus and Cesaro are getting along...

GOOD GOD is there so much good television on tonight. Between this show, MLB World Series, NFL Sunday Night, and if I had Cable, AMC's The Walking Dead. I like what I've seen from WestWorld on HBO so far, as well. If I had Cable, I would go with the Walking Dead over all of these. Thus, thank my cable cutting for ensuring that I cover these Pay Per Views.

More champions coming out first... New Day vs. Sheamus/Cesaro is up next. Sure, New Day coming out first is due to their promo cutting, but are still the champions... New Day are killing time out there, which makes me wonder about how the Main Event will go or if we're running over again. Fans are so-so on this match to start, as I wonder how much Owens vs. Rollins took out of everyone. Woods is the "face in peril" here although Cesaro is supposed to be a babyface? Hot tag in for Big E and delivers some sweet Belly to Belly slams on Sheamus. Later, Big E would catch Sheamus's kick and convert it into a Powerbomb. With the injection of charisma and good mic skills from his time in New Day, there might be something here with Big E... Woods is hitting some nice high risk maneuvers tonight, as he must be playing Kofi on his video games. I enjoyed the finish... Cesaro had Woods LOCKED into the Sharpshooter... As Big E tried to make the save, Sheamus attacked with the Trombone and that prompts Kofi (not wrestling tonight) to attack Sheamus. Referee catches it and it's a disqualification. Nothing wrong with DQ results to retain titles. [ *** ]

The MAIN EVENT was Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks (c) within the Hell in a Cell. Not only does this match have to live up to the "1st Women's Match in the Cell", but thanks to Owens/Rollins delivering huge, they have to prove that they are worthy of the Main Event spot. Charlotte comes out first with a bunch of men carrying her on a throne. Loud "we want Sasha" chants and then Sasha appears as champion by coming out second like a champion should. I LOVED the scene of both Women standing in the middle of the ring as the Hell in a Cell slowly lowers itself. Great moment that only pro wrestling can provide... Charlotte blindsides Sasha before the Cell goes down and tosses Sasha to the outside to threaten the cage dropping on her. Wow... Cage stops and now this promps brawling on the outside and into the crowd. They make their way back to the ring and the Cage is fully down. Both start climbing the cage... Charlotte falls off and then charges back to pull Sasha off and POWERBOMBS HER through the table! GOOD GOD! Sasha just got folded like a chair! Sasha is selling the injury as if she was killed and she should. Stretcher job coming as Charlotte enters the ring with the Cage door open, demanding "where's my title?". Damn fine storytelling here... Just when the announcer begins to suggest that Charlotte won the title via forfeit, Sasha springs up from the stretcher to join the rest of the RAW roster tonight in not selling pain. Sigh... But Sasha is a ball of fire now and delivered a brutal chop on Charlotte. Charlotte fends her off and delivers a catapult on Sasha that scares me to death because of how Sasha landed. Thankfully, she landed clean with her shoulders. It is impressive how physically imposing Charlotte is compared to the rest of the female roster. They said she had Volleyball scholarships offered to her and I believe it. Nice dive on the outside by Sasha and now a chair gets involved. If WWE wanted to make a difference here, they'd allow the rare chairshot to the head... Charlotte takes a trip to eat the chair and now Sasha slams Charlotte's face into it. But because we're not selling tonight, Charlotte picks up Sasha immediately and Sidewalk Slams her into the chair. Love the "Eddie" chants on the Triple Suplexes on Charlotte by Sasha. Froggy Splash by Sasha as well to further sell her love of Latino Heat. Sasha then sets Charlotte up on the middle turnbuckle, puts a chair on the bottom turnbuckle, and then Sasha drives her knees into Charlotte (just after slapping her!). Ohhhh, NASTY move by Charlotte pulling out Sasha by the hair and slamming her face onto the Steel Steps. Charlotte then goes for the table, sets it up, and tries to Superplex Sasha from the top to the outside onto the table. That's a CRAZY premise... But Charlotte fails and Sasha kicks her onto the table. Sasha pulls out another table, tries to push it into the ring, but Charlotte kicks it into Sasha's throat. That was cool. Now, Charlotte sets up the table in the ring and taunts Sasha to some at her. Some back and forth between the two, Charlotte overpowers her, and Figure 8. Sasha reaches for the steel chair and starts destroying Charlotte with it. Nice! Bank Statement attempt, but Charlotte fights it off with 2 Atomic Drops and then a Tilt-a-Whirl Slam (I think that's the move). Now, Sasha Banks is placed on the table and Charlotte goes for the Moonsault. Sasha is up and knocks her off the top rope. She then positions the Table into the corner and tries the Powerbomb! Sells the lower back injury from earlier and collapses! Now, Charlotte capitalizes and tosses Sasha onto the table (doesn't break) and hits her finisher to regain the WWE Women's Title. [ ****1/2 ] Damn good match, ladies... You lived up to MAIN EVENT status. Charlotte is now a 3-time Women's Champion in a short period of time, though, and these title reigns are getting shorter and shorter.


LAST WORD: To WWE's credit, no matter what your opinion is of RAW and Smackdown as television shows, WWE is consistently delivering GOOD matches on Pay Per Views. Even if the rest of the show is sluggish, you always get at least 2 good matches with valid "Match of the Year" candidates appearing here or there. Because RAW has been a bad television show, I'm getting very close to being Pay Per View only. If I didn't have this column to write weekly, I'd probably watch a lot less wrestling... But I like writing for you... Cutting off my RAW television viewership, though, is quite tempting. This Pay Per Views, like most, had its highs and lows. I have a "Match of the Year" candidate lurking on this show that I'll consider on my list for my year-end awards and that, alone, makes this show worth watching. Sasha vs. Charlotte delivered well as the Main Event and that's also worth watching. Some OK matches for the rest of the show, but some letdowns as well. Lots of bad psychology taints some of this show, though... You gotta sell pain, guys. You can't get slammed through the table or eat chairshots and then wrestle as if nothing was done to you. Overall because of a few matches, the show gets a [ B+ ] grade, but there are many underlying problems that continue to plague the RAW roster that need fixed. Way too much good talent on this roster to use poorly but also suffer from a lack of psychology emphasized by whomever is managing RAW. Gotta sell or else you'll have to keep relying on sugar high moments with greater degrees of risk.

SO JUST CHILL... 'TIL THE NEXT EPISODE!

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