Posted in: Smackdown
The Smackdown! Report (09/03/15) - The One with The New Day on Commentary!
By Uncle Leo
Sep 4, 2015 - 12:02:32 AM

Welcome everyone to the Smackdown Report!

My name is Uncle Leo and I'm here to deliver you your Smackdown report each and every week here on Lords of Pain!

Thank the Lord that this week is over. Three nights, after working thirteen hour days, I’ve been stuck on the train for an hour because of railroad construction. And now I’m doing laundry and packing because I’m spending the Labor Day weekend in Florida. But anyways, y’all don’t care about that because it’s Thursday night, which means it’s time for some Smackdown action! Let’s start smacking…

The Smackdown Report!
September 3rd, 2015

Opening Moments
Smackdown starts with its opening credits and we see the crowd in Miami, Florida as Rich Brennan lets us know that we’re only two weeks away from yet another WWE Pay Per View.

Opening Segment: Three Tag Teams. Two Tag Title Belts.
The WWE Tag Team Champions make their way out to kick things off. All three are holding signs that read: “#Booty” “Broken Wood is No Good” (ain’t that the truth, though) “GiveTablesAChance” and “Save the Tables”. Hilarious! Ha! And the table, protected with bubble wrap, is already in the ring. Woods says that wasting a table is a terrible thing. They reference the first Thanksgiving, the signing of the Declaration of Independence, and the fact that they signed their WWE Contracts...all on...a table. Big E gives the WWE Universe the POWAH to join a movement that is sweeping the NATIONAH. Save. The tables. Save. The Tables. Save. The tables.

Three rockets go off and out comes The Dudley Boyz. They take us to a clip of the Dudleys putting Woods through a table two weeks ago on RAW. How funny, he adds, that they forgot to mention this moment. Bubba Ray says that history tends to repeat itself and the Dudleys will beat New Day like they did on RAW and will become the ten-time tag team champions. We hear the whistles and out comes the Prime Time Players. Titus O’Neil says that he isn’t sure how they did it in the Attitude Era, but nowadays, you have to earn your shot. Titus continues and says that they’ve earned a rematch for the titles. Not really sure how you can earn a rematch when it’s in your contract, but okay. Titus says that the Dudleys should get to the back of the line.

Bubba Ray screams, “do you know who we ahhhhh?!” He describes themselves in three basic facts: “we show up, we put people through tables, and we win championships.” Apparently, Titus has a gift for the Dudleys and it’s two tickets to Dudleyville. It looks like we have a match!

Thoughts: A very strong start to Smackdown that involved three tag teams! I can’t believe that it took a tag team from the Attitude Era to come in and make things interesting again. Truth be told, every other tag team hasn’t looked credible in a while. So by taking two great tag teams and add in a veteran team, you have a recipe for success. I love the Dudleys and New Day. New Day is my favorite tag team and I hope they continue to be booked strongly.

Match One: The Dudley Boyz vs. The Prime Time Players

The start of this match is fairly even, as both teams start talking trash to each other and we roll onto a commercial break. We come back and this awesome match is being overshadowed by the New Day. They’re making fun of Bubba Ray’s camouflage outfit, saying that they can’t see him and can only see a floating head. Meanwhile, in the ring, the action continues to remain pretty even. Bubba Ray and Devon tag in and out, working on Darren Young. Darren is trying to get to Titus, as the fans chant “We Want Tables,” but of course you can’t hear that because the New Day is chanting over them, “Save. The Tables.” Great stuff. The three of them should always commentate. So freaking great.

Darren finally tags Titus in who knocks down by Bubba Ray and Devon. He’s a freaking beast. A huge big boot, knocks Bubba Ray down. Titus does his famous dog barking and runs right onto Bubba Ray in the corner. After a body slam by Titus, Bubba Ray manages knocks his back a few and tags in Devon. Together, they set Titus up for a 3D and the win.

Winners via Pinfall: The Dudley Boyz

As their music hits, Big E and Woods carry the bubblewrapped table with them. Kofi, from behind, slaps Devon across the back of his head and rolls out of the ring to avoid getting murdered.

Thoughts: A solid match for Smackdown. These two will no doubt get a tag team match on a PPV, where they can go deeper than what they did tonight. When you put two great tag teams together in a match, you’re bound to get something good out of it. Unfortunately, for this match, the New Day completely stole the spotlight away from the Dudleys and the Prime Time Players. And honestly...I didn’t mind it one bit.

MizTV with Dolph Ziggler and Lana is still to come. As well as Neville vs. Stardust...which is next! After we come back from commercial, Renee Young interviews the New Day and says that they must really feel the momentum going into their match tonight. When Kofi says that they don’t have a match, Renee informs them that they will go up against Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose.

In-Ring Segment: The Cosmic Wasteland
We were supposed to see Neville vs. Stardust, but the match never officially started. Stardust is in the ring already and when Neville makes his way to the ring, he gets ambushed by Konnor and Viktor of The Ascension. It seems like the duo have joined forces with Stardust. They continue to beat him down and roll him into the ring, where Stardust is waiting for him with a microphone. Stardust says that like Icarus, Neville is flying too close to the sun and that he’s turning up the heat. Stardust confirms my obvious observation and introduces Neville to his conniving cohorts...The Ascension! They hit the Fall of Man on Neville, as Stardust welcomes everyone to the Cosmic Wasteland.

Winner: Match never happened

Thoughts: As a huge fan of throwing superstars together and see if it sticks, I’m a big fan of what I just saw. I’m thankful that the WWE is committed to the Stardust characters and having The Ascension align with him is only great news. It makes Stardust a bigger threat and allows The Ascension to grow and work on their developments. It makes them stronger and badder. This is so good for all three men and I’m really optimistic and hope that something really awesome comes out of this.

Backstage, JoJo interviews Cesaro about his match against Sheamus. He says that his loss to Owens on RAW was a setback, but he’s going to do what he loves to do and that’s compete in that ring. It’s especially sweet, he says, that he’s going against Mr. Money in the Bank. Sheamus strolls in and says his now regular? line…”It is what it is.” Sheamus says that Cesaro is very good, but not good enough. They each hit below the belt, as Sheamus says he lets the WWE Universe and the Cesaro Section down and leads them on and on and on and on. Cesaro replies that standing this close to him, he has to agree with the WWE Universe that Sheamus looks stupid.

Match Two: Sheamus vs. Cesaro
Cesaro starts off the match with his ribs taped up from his battles with Owens. Sheamus, of course, targets the ribs throughout the match. After Sheamus takes control of the match and sends Cesaro into the steel post, ribs first, we go to commercial. We come back and Sheamus is still in control. Sheamus drives his knee into Cesaro’s injured ribs, but doesn’t get the three count. Sheamus, now with the submission hold tries to end Cesaro here, but Cesaro powers out, lifts Sheamus above his head, and drops him back first into the mat.

Both men get to their feet and Sheamus hits a few uppercuts, but Cesaro comes back from them and hits Sheamus with what looks like a 100 uppercuts. Okay, obviously not 100 but you get the point. Cesaro gets on top of the ropes and attempts to deliver a huge superplex from the top turnbuckle, but Sheamus pushes him off. That doesn’t stop Cesaro, as he nails an epic dropkick, spilling Sheamus out of the ring. Sheamus runs at Sheamus and delivers an impressive running uppercut. Taped ribs and all, Cesaro jumps off the top turnbuckle and delivers a crossbody for a two count.

Sheamus reverses an Irish Whip and delivers a spear to Cesaro, knocking the wind out of the Swiss Superman. After a big backbreaker, Sheamus puts Cesaro in submission hold, but Cesaro reverses it into a pinfall for only a two count. Sheamus gets Cesaro up, but Cesaro reverses and goes for the Crossface. After Sheamus gets out of it, Cesaro continues to wale on Sheamus with a lot of Uppercuts. After the referee has to pry Cesaro off of him, Sheamus nails a Brogue Kick and covers him for the win.

Winners via Pinfall: Sheamus

Thoughts: A brutal match between the two, as was expected. These two guys work very well together and I hope one day they team up and work side by side.

We see Miz, wearing the stupidest thing in the world, getting ready for MizTV.

In-Ring Segment: MizTV with Dolph Ziggler & Lana
Miz welcomes us to MizTV and shows us what went down last week between Dolph Ziggler, Lana, and Summer Rae. Miz brings out Summer Rae, calling her the victim. Summer comes out and starts saying how she was invited into Ziggler’s lock room because they were all going to bury the hatchet, but reveals there’s more to the story. She claims that Ziggler brought her close into his arms and kissed her. She said that the moment instantly went from passion to guilt because she has the best man in the world in Rusev.

Before she wipes away her non-existent tears, Ziggler and Lana come out. Ziggler says that this must be the part where Miz tries to play head games almost as bad as he tries to play a wrestler, a talk show host, and a movie star. After saying confidently that he and Lana trust each other, Ziggler gets interrupted. Summer tells Lana to open her eyes and stop being naive. She says that Dolph and her have had a thing for a while and shows her a video clip from last year, where Summer Rae and Dolph Ziggler make out in the middle of the ring. Ziggler says that the only thing that will ever be between them is a restraining order. Summer continues to taunt them until Lana, who has had enough of all of this, attacks Summer down to the floor. Lana pushes Ziggler off of her and walks out of the ring...Ziggler following. Summer goes crazy and throws her heels at them and yells, “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH, YOU BITCH.”

Thoughts: This storyline is really dumb and obviously fake. At least they’re making it really obvious that it’s fake, but why is Lana falling for this? Why does she have to play a dumb blonde? Lana is in a position to really be a breakout star. She stood up for herself and for women when Rusev kept belittling her. Now, she’s just playing your typical stupid, foreigner. In any event, this is obviously leading to a Mixed Tag Team Match at Night of Champions.

Match Three: R-Truth vs. Bo Dallas
We come back from commercial and R-Truth is warming the crowd up. Dallas comes out and we see his brutal annihilation from the hands of Brock Lesnar. Truth laughs pretty hard as they lock up. Dallas looks a lot angrier and meaner in the ring -- almost like he has an edge since getting destroyed two weeks ago. He starts beating Truth up and gets a couple of two counts. Truth tries to come back from behind, but only gets a two count after kicking Dallas in the head. Dallas comes back with a nice new finisher -- some sort of twisted neckbreaker.

Winner via Pinfall: Bo Dallas

After the match, Bo Dallas continues to attack R-Truth and hits another twisted neckbreaker.

Thoughts: I really don’t see Bo Dallas going far with his Inspirational gimmick. I hope he does because he’s funny, but they’re trying again with him.

Recap Time & Backstage Interview: Divas Beat the Clock Challenge & Team PCB
We watch how Charlotte beat the clock and became the #1 contender to Nikki Bella’s Divas Championship. After the recap video, Renee Young welcomes her three guests -- Paige, Charlotte, and Becky Lynch. Young congratulates them on a great outing on RAW and congratulates Charlotte in specific. The new #1 contender says that she’s thankful for this opportunity, but wouldn’t be where she is right now without the help of her supportive PCB members. Paige says that before the Divas Revolution, Team Bella was running this division, but now the target is on Nikki and her title. Paige says that she’s proud that one of her PCB sisters is #1 contender. Charlotte fist bumps Paige, but I guess Becky Lynch didn’t get the memo and left Charlotte hanging. Awkward. Anyways, Becky Lynch says that she and Paige will be in Charlotte’s corner, cheering her on. Charlotte concludes by saying that she doesn’t take this challenge lightly. She knows that Nikki is champion for a reason, but she wants to win too. And she’s going to do it with style, grace, and a little bit of flair.

All three members of Team Bella start clapping and enter the picture. Nikki congratulates Charlotte on becoming #1 contender and beating the clock, but that isn’t the time that matters. Her countdown on becoming the longest reigning Divas Champion is what’s important. Charlotte reveals that she’s put in a petition to The Authority to have their title match before she breaks the record. Nikki says that she can’t do that, but Charlotte says she can and she did. The daughter of the Nature Boy mocks Brie and Alicia and walks off saying, “Tick. Tock.”

Thoughts: Really solid backstage interview involving Team PCB and then Team Bella. I was wondering whether or not they would have the Divas title match before she breaks the record. Regardless, Nikki will break the record and their match will not end cleanly, potentially setting up a gimmick title match at Night of Champions between the two. All in all, though, Nikki didn’t sound too rehearsed. Team PCB sounded great and looked united. A very well done backstage interview.

Match Four: Charlotte vs. Tamina Snuka
Yikes, I wonder if this’ll be the last match for Tamina for a little bit now with what’s going on with her dad. I don’t think it’ll affect Tamina, but who knows? Anyways, the two divas lock up in a stalemate. Tamina plays to her strength and power and throws Charlotte around. Tamina continues to dominate Charlotte until Charlotte fights back and big boots the Samoan diva down. Charlotte comes back to life and hits a backbreaker and a spear to Tamina. Charlotte hits the Natural Selection and picks up the victory.

Winner via Pinfall: Charlotte

After the match, Team Bella comes out and show the Bella Tron to the WWE Universe and Team PCB.

Thoughts: Not much to add to what I said before, but this was a great showing for Charlotte.

Recap Time: Seth Rollins, Sting, and John Cena from RAW
Another Recap Video of what went down between Rollins, Cena, and Sting and they re-announce that Rollins will be pulling double duty at Night of Champions. In one match, he will defend the United States title against John Cena. In the other match, he will defend the WWE title against Sting.

Backstage Interview: Kevin Owens
Renee sure is busy, as she welcomes her next guest...Kevin Owens. She asks Owens what’s next for him after defeating Cesaro on RAW. After Owens brings up his second win from Summerslam as well and says that he’s silenced the Cesaro Section movement not once, but twice. He continues by saying that there’s another movement that he’d like to silence. He says that there are superstars, stupid commentators, and even the WWE Universe who criticize him for the way he looks. He says for the last fifteen years he’s been criticized for the way he looks and that’s never stopped him. He ends it, oh so cleverly by sending a message to those who make fun of him for the way he looks. “To anyone who makes fun of me for the way I look, I say, ‘bring it on,’ in fact, I say, ‘’”

Thoughts: Oh baby! Kevin Owens vs. Ryback? Sign. Me. Up. Let this be a feud that lasts for a few months and results in Kevin Owens becoming your new WWE Intercontinental Champion. I loved this interview. Renee sells his rudeness very well. Owens is cocky, confident, and clever. Very happy that they’ve included the “online news” of him being criticized over his weight into this interview. Wonderful blend of real and kayfabe.

Main Event: Dean Ambrose & Roman Reigns vs. Big E & Kofi Kingston

After seeing what happened between Ambrose and Braun Strowman, the match starts with Ambrose and Kofi. Ambrose takes control in the early on, but Kofi tags in Big E. Reigns and Ambrose hits a double suplex for a two count. Reigns and Big E go at it, as Big E actually holds his own against Reigns. Big E and Kofi get Reigns in their corner and they tag in and out and in and out, stomping away at him. Each time they stomp, Woods plays the trombone. When Kofi is kicking, its a high note. When Big E is kicking, it’s a low note. So funny. Big E gets tagged in against and continues to wear Reigns down, running right into him like a train in the corner. Reigns, however, begins to build momentum, knocks Big E down, and tags in Ambrose. Ambrose goes crazy and takes Big E down. Reigns enters and hits a huge lariat to Kofi. Ambrose works with Reigns and they clothesline Big E from over the top rope and out of the ring. Ambrose runs to the top of the turnbuckle and delivers a flying elbow onto all three members of the New Day.

Coming back from commercial, the action continues between Big E and Ambrose. Big E runs at Ambrose, but Ambrose sends both his feet right into Big E’s face. Ambrose delivers a missile dropkick from the top turnbuckle. Reigns gets tagged in and makes quick work of Kofi, who gets tagged in, and hits a Samoan Drop. Reigns gets ready for the Superman Punch, but Woods distracts Reigns and Kofi almost successfully pins Reigns. Big E gets involved, but eats a rebounded clothesline by Ambrose. As if that wasn’t enough, Ambrose goes for a flying dive onto Big E, who had rolled out of the ring, and now both men are out on the outside. Reigns goes for a spear, but Kofi dodges it. Kofi goes high, but eats a Superman Punch. Roman covers him for an almost three count, when Xavier Woods gets involved and causes a Disqualification.

Winner via Disqualification: The New Day

As the bell continues to ring, Woods continues to attack Reigns. Ambrose gets involved and hits the Dirty Deeds. Big E gets into the ring, but Reigns hits the Spear. Ambrose pulls Woods back into the ring, and sets him up for the old school Shield Powerbomb. Reigns and Ambrose celebrate, but their music cuts off because Ambrose has a microphone. Ambrose says he wants another crack at Braun Strowman. Reigns gets the microphone and asks Miami if they want to see more and they start cheering. Reigns calls out the Wyatt Family, but instead of seeing them live...we see them from backstage in whatever mysterious dungeon they are in.

Luke Harper starts whistling and Bray Wyatt is laughing. Wyatt says he finds it amusing when the puppets try to pull the strings. Wyatt says this is his game, he calls the shots, and he makes the moves. He says that Ambrose and Reigns are cornered, outnumbered, and vulnerable...just how he likes it. He calls for Night of Champions to be the night where it’ll be the doomsday of the former Shield brothers. Wyatt asks them if they can hear the footsteps of the apocalypse in the form of a Black Sheep. Strowman takes his mask off and says, “Run,” as we close this episode of Smackdown.

Main Event + Overall Thoughts: A very entertaining tag team main event. Anything that New Day touches turns to gold. They’re so funny and charismatic. They really know how to work the crowd. My goodness. I really enjoy them, if you haven’t noticed. And so should you! I especially liked how different they were physically from the Wyatt Family. Anytime we’ve seen Ambrose and Reigns team up, it’s usually been against the Wyatt Family so their matches are pretty much the same. With them now facing the New Day, they were able to work a lot faster and have some quicker and cooler moments. I hope that Ambrose and Reigns eventually get a short tag team title run. Wouldn’t that be something? You’d have New Day, Dudley Boyz, Prime Time Players, The Usos, and Ambrose/ that’s what’s up. As for the Wyatt Family & Shield Brothers, I’m wondering what’ll happen at Night of Champions. Will Ambrose and Reigns find a third partner? Or will it be a two-on-three handicap match?

Overall, a lot of good stuff happened tonight. The Divas got a chance to shine with a great backstage segment and a nice win for Charlotte. Stardust and The Ascension have been given a new, fresh direction to go in. The Tag Team Division is entertaining as hell. And New Day! Their performance on commentary and the main event match, I’m going to have to give this show an A-

Disagree with that grade? Felt like I said something wrong or something that you agree with? Feel free to comment below about your thoughts on Smackdown, this Report, or anything else you’d like. Feel free to shoot me an email --> [email protected] or follow me on Twitter and tweet me!

That’s all for me, folks. Thanks for reading, and until next time, smack you later.