Posted in: Smackdown
The Smackdown! Report (09/17/15) - The One Where No One Came To The Bellabration
By Uncle Leo
Sep 17, 2015 - 10:59:25 PM

Welcome everyone to the Smackdown Report!

My name is Uncle Leo and I'm here to deliver you your Smackdown report each and every week here on Lords of Pain!

My apologies for my absence last week. Your favorite Uncle was out sick with some sort of Virus Infection that the doctor couldn’t even prescribe antibiotics for. What a waste of a $60 copay. It’s been a lot of rest, fluid, and DayQuil for this guy, but I’m back and feeling better than ever! It’s Thursday night, which means it’s time for some Smackdown action! Let’s start smacking…

The Smackdown Report!
September 17th, 2015

Opening Moments
We get a recap video from this past Monday night, showing us Sting’s debut match(es) on RAW. They take us through the Authority's announcement, followed by Rollins interfering in the Sting/Show match, and then finally Cena and Sting defeating Rollins and Show. After the video, we cut straight to the Little Rock, AR crowd, as Rich Brennan welcomes us to Thursday night Smackdown.

Opening Segment: The Architect Makes One More Enemy
Rollins starts by saying that he’ll make history when he successfully defeats two future first ballot Hall of Famers. Rollins says that he’ll break Cena’s spirit like he did at Summerslam. As for Sting, Rollins says that the “face painted freak” will be exposed as the past and he, Rollins, as the now. Rollins moves his attention over to the main event for the evening...where he will team up with Mr. Money in the Bank, Sheamus, to take on Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns. The champ says that while any average man wouldn’t be okay teaming with someone who can take his heavyweight title away from him at any time. Seth Rollins says that he’s not any average man, but rather THE man.

Just as he says he’s not worried about Sheamus, the Celtic Warrior interrupts and makes his way out to the ring. Sheamus asks Rollins if he considers him a friend or an enemy because he doesn’t want Sheamus as his enemy. Sheamus says that he’ll never see the cash-in coming and mocks Rollins. Rollins makes fun of Sheamus’s skin and ugly hair and says that he’ll see him coming. Sheamus barks at the fans, saying “R-T-H” which I guess stands for “Respect the Hawk.” Things get heated between the two, but just when Sheamus seems to lighten up the moment, he lets Rollins know that whether or not he sees the cash-in coming...he’ll walk away as the Dubya Dubya E Werlt Heavyweigh’ Champion. Sheamus says that he’ll see him in the main event, calls him a “friend” one last time, and his music hits.

Thoughts: JR said that Rollins is overexposed and I agree. He’s in a program with John Cena. He’s in a program with Sting. And now, Sheamus is getting involved with Seth Rollins. Is this leading to something at Night of Champions? I don’t really know, but Seth has been booked as a scared-heel champion that all of a sudden he’s capable of handling three different challengers? Just wish his character was more of a dominant champion, but time will tell where this goes.

Match One: Becky Lynch & Paige vs. Naomi & Sasha Banks

Becky and Naomi start things off and Becky takes it to Naomi with uppercuts and kicks. Sasha gets tagged in, but Becky takes it to her too. Sasha counters a turnbuckle kick and takes control as we go to commercial. When we come back, Naomi and Sasha Banks have Becky trapped in their corner and they tag in back-and-forth. Becky tried to find an opening, but Naomi stops her from tagging Paige in. Naomi and Sasha continue to work well together as a team, as they continue to tag in back-and-forth. Sasha has Becky in an abdominal stretch, that Becky gets out of. Becky attacks Naomi, but Sasha takes her down. Becky gets a second wind, jumps to tag Paige in, but Naomi and Sasha each hold onto a leg of Becky’s. Becky kicks them off and finally gets the hot tag to Paige.

Paige kicks Sasha down. Paige knocks Naomi down with a series of knees to the face. Sasha distracts Paige, but Becky knocks her off the apron. Naomi rolls Paige for an inside cradle for the pinfall victory!

Winners via Pinfall: Naomi and Sasha Banks

Thoughts: Interesting to see Paige act so frustrated for losing this match, plus let’s not forget that she couldn’t beat the clock against Charlotte. It’ll be interesting to see if she turns heel on Charlotte and Becky someday. As for the match, the heels controlled a majority of the match and good for them for winning and gaining some steam moving forward. Enough with the matches though...can we get some STORYLINES and CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?!

Backstage Promo: The Cosmic Wasteland
I have no idea how to recap this backstage promo. Stardust talks about a bunch of cosmic stuff, says the word “RISE” and The Ascension rise from the ground. Stardust gives Neville and the Lucha Dragons one final warning. The Ascension welcomes us to the Cosmic Wasteland and that’s about it. I think Stardust caresses either Konnor or Viktor’s cheek.

Match Two: Kofi Kingston vs. D-Von Dudley
We hear the usual intro for New Day and the booing is piped in...but the crowd looks to be cheering for them… Back from the break, they cut a quick promo. Woods starts us off and Kofi says, “listen to him.” Woods says that a table is a terrible thing to waste and calls the Dudley Boyz “boys.” Woods says that the Dudleys have disrespected man but also woo-man...Mother Nature. Kofi says that “you gotta respect yo’ mama.” Big E says that they want to help the Dudleys so they will allow them to sign a petition to Save the Tables...which is on a four sided piece of wood...aka a mini-table according to Kofi. They start doing their clapping shtick…”save...the tables” and the Dudleys come out and our match begins.

D-Von breaks the petition in half and takes it to Kofi with a series of rights and lefts. Not sure what Big E is doing on the outside, but he’s trying to pull out a table. Booker claims that he was trying to get rid of it. Man, Booker T should join New Day. Woods gets onto the apron, but D-Von flips him into the ring and on his back. Kofi takes advantage of the distraction and rolls him up for a victory.

Winners via Pinfall: Kofi Kingston

New Day run up the stage with the table so Booker was right!

Thoughts: “Shuh.. Kee Ducky. Shuh… Kee Ducky.” Booker T for honorary New Day member! Yes please!

Backstage Segment: Bellabration Prep
We see a recap of what happened between Charlotte and Nikki Bella on RAW, where Stephanie reverses the decision and announces the stipulation for Night of Champions where Nikki can lose the title on a countout or disqualification.

We see Team Bella walking down a hallway. Brie and Alicia Fox tell Nikki all about the great plans for her Bellabration tonight. Says that there are 298 bottles of champagne from France - one for each day she has been champion. Brie says that there is one tiny problem, but Nikki doesn’t want to hear it because the two of them can take care of it. Okay.

Match Three: Big Show vs. Cesaro
Before the commercial break, Miz gives Show a confidential binder, but Show throws it away. Not sure what that was about, but this match is because Big Show knocked Cesaro out two weeks ago. Right off the bat, Cesaro lands two big dropkicks on Show. Show reverses and lands a couple of devastating chops to Cesaro’s chest. Cesaro blocks a third chop and locks in a cool submission hold and works on Show’s right arm and hand.

The action continues between the two, staying fairly even. Big Show attempts to hit Cesaro with a Chokeslam, but Cesaro tries to get in his finisher, but fails. Cesaro gets planted face first and then Big Show hits a knockout punch for the pinfall victory.

Winner via Pinfall: Big Show

Thoughts: A back-and-forth match between Big Show and Cesaro as they both worked on injured areas on their opponent. For Cesaro, Show was working on his tweaked knee. For Big Show, Cesaro was working on his hurt arm. It moved the match along well, but ultimately Big Show won for no real reason...Cesaro could’ve benefited with a victory. I wonder what’s next for these two.

Backstage Interview: Renee interviews Ambrose & Reigns
Renee asks them who their partner will be for Sunday’s six-man tag team match. They refuse to tell her because of all the attacks from the Wyatt Family. Looks like we’re all going to find out on Sunday!

Match Four: Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler is back to trunks and he wails at Owens as the bell rings. A very fast paced beginning for Ziggler, but Owens fights back equally as hard. He lands a big back splash on Ziggler’s tailbone (or coccyx, as Booker said). Owens continues to mock Ziggler and Lana’s wrist injury, while beating him down. When we come back from commercial, Owens is in control and sends Ziggler lower-back first into the barricade. When Ziggler makes it in before the count of ten, Owens sends Ziggler into the steel post and then throws him into the timekeeper’s area. Ziggler somehow gets back into the ring. Why is Owens trying to beat Ziggler by countout when he’s defeated Cena via pinfall before? As Ziggler gets back to his feet, Owens hits a superkick, sending Ziggler back out. Owens rolls underneath the ropes, picks Ziggler up, is about to hit a powerbomb onto the ring apron, but Ryback’s music hits just in time and Ryback comes out for the save and disqualification.

Winner via Disqualification: Kevin Owens

After the match, Ryback hits a spinebuster on Owens. As he was going for the shellshock, Owens rolls out of the way and yells at Ryback to mind his own business.

Thoughts: Fun little Smackdown match between these two guys. I wasn’t sure why Owens would want to beat Ziggler via countout. Sure, it’s a meaningless match, but if you have a title match coming up in two nights...don’t you want to beat your opponent tonight via pinfall or submission? To kind of prep for your title match? Seems a little silly to try and beat Ziggler via countout, when you’ve beaten someone like John Cena via pinfall. As much as I thought I would enjoy this Ryback and Owens feud, there isn’t much heat to this at all. It seems rushed, so I’m hoping this continues to the next pay per view, but intensifies. That would be really great.

Backstage Segment: The Bellabration Party & Ziggler/Summer
Nikki meets up with Brie and Foxy again and Foxy says that Nikki looks hot tonight. Wait, didn’t Foxy see Nikki like 30 minutes the same exact outfit? K.

Nikki walks into the party calling for Beyonce, but nobody is in the room. Brie and Foxy tell Nikki that nobody returned their phone calls. Nikki is freaking out and yells at them to go and fix it. PCB come in and laugh at Nikki. Charlotte tells Nikki that after Night of Champions, it’s going to get a lot lonelier without the Divas Championship. PCB taunt and mock Nikki some before before they leave. Nikki’s next visitor turns out to be Adam Rose, of all people, and he tells her that her party sucks. Nikki gets upset and throws her cake and we see that it hits Brie and Foxy. Nikki yells “GOOD! GOOD!” before walking away.

Also backstage, Summer Rae approaches Dolph and wonders about the earrings he gave her on RAW. He says that they were just a peace offering and that sometimes a rose is just a rose...but sometimes it means more.

Thoughts: Woof. That was a lame Bellabration segment. Remember back in the old Smackdown days, whenever it would be Halloween or Thanksgiving, there would be mini backstage segments where random superstars would be celebrating. They should’ve done that tonight. Anyways, Nikki and Brie continue to prove why they’re terrible actresses. As for Ziggler and Summer Rae, I have no idea why this storyline is continuing. It sucks. It’s not wrestling. Lana is injured. Summer sucks. Ziggler and Rusev deserve better.

Main Event: Dean Ambrose & Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins & Sheamus
Rollins and Ambrose start things off, but Sheamus tags himself in. He continues to get insulted by the crowd and grabs the microphone and says that they need to respect the hawk and that they look stupid. Sheamus and Ambrose go at it, but Reigns gets tagged in and both Reigns and Ambrose take Sheamus down. Rollins runs in and gets thrown over the top rope onto the outside. Ambrose looks like he’s about to jump onto Rollins, but Reigns takes him down instead with a clothesline. Ambrose, instead, jumps onto Sheamus. We go to commercial with the faces in control.

When we come back, though, Rollins has Ambrose in a headlock. We see that during the commercial break, Sheamus and Rollins each sent Ambrose into the barricade. Still in the headlock, Ambrose fights back, but Rollins continues the offense. Sheamus is tagged in and goes on the offense himself. Rollins and Sheamus exchange tags and now Rollins has Ambrose where he wants him. He sends him headfirst into the top turnbuckle and tags Sheamus back in. Sheamus locks in a long headlock, but Ambrose eventually gets out of it and sends Sheamus out of the ring, while reversing a powerbomb. Ambrose almost tags Reigns in, but Sheamus gets involved. Not for long though because Ambrose hits a neckbreaker and tags in his partner!

Rollins gets tagged in too and Reigns knocks the champion down. Reigns scoops Rollins up and sends him into the corner, followed by a Samoan Drop. After a series of ten clotheslines in the corner, Reigns looks to be in control, but Rollins tries to go for a superkick, which is blocked by Reigns. Reigns lifts Rollins up and plants him with a powerbomb. Reigns gears up for a Superman Punch, but Rollins rolls out of the way and nails a boot to the mouth of Reigns. As Sheamus begs to be tagged in, Rollins rolls to Sheamus, but Sheamus jumps off the apron. Rollins grabs Sheamus’ briefcase, which causes Sheamus to jump back onto the apron and Rollins tags him in. Doesn’t Sheamus need to be holding some sort of string in the corner? K.

Reigns tags Ambrose in, who hits Sheamus with a flying dive. Sheamus is rolled into the ring and gets hit with a Superman Punch! Ambrose hits the Dirty Deeds and successfully pins Sheamus!

Winners via Pinfall: Dean Ambrose & Roman Reigns

As these two guys celebrate, we see a vignette for the Wyatt Family. Bray Wyatt appears on the screen and questions who would be foolish enough to join them at Night of Champions. Wyatt says it doesn’t matter because eventually...they all fall down. Harper and Braun appear and Braun says, “Run” as we fade out.

Main Event + Overall Thoughts: Reviewing these Smackdowns have made me realize that each show has a very similar format...especially the tag team matches. Heels are always in control going into commercial and coming back from it. One of the faces plays the hero in peril and eventually gets the hot tag. This has been the format for years and years now. It’s not nothing new, but it becomes more obvious as you watch and recap each and every week. The main event match was decent. It wasn’t anything spectacular.

Overall, nothing on tonight’s show was spectacular. It was pretty uneventful, honestly. I’d give this show a C+ because it was just above average.

Disagree with that grade? Felt like I said something wrong or something that you agree with? Feel free to comment below about your thoughts on Smackdown, this Report, or anything else you’d like. Feel free to shoot me an email here. Or follow me on Twitter and tweet me!

That’s all for me, folks. Thanks for reading, and until next time, smack you later.