Posted in: Smackdown
The Smackdown! Report (09/17/15) - The One Where The Crazy Cat Lady Gets Slapped
By Uncle Leo
Sep 25, 2015 - 1:09:58 AM

Welcome everyone to the Smackdown Report!

My name is Uncle Leo and I'm here to deliver you your Smackdown report each and every week here on Lords of Pain!

Hope y’all had a great week. It’s starting to get darker a lot earlier. It sucks coming home from work and it's pretty much dark outside. I hate coming home when there’s barely any light outside. It’s like I live my days at work and come home when it’s dark and I’m tired. Adulthood sucks, says this 22 year old. Anyways, it’s Thursday night, which means it’s time for some Smackdown action! Let’s start smacking…

The Smackdown Report!
September 24th, 2015

For the record, I was going to title this report: "The One Where The Crazy Cat Lady Gets B!tch Slapped" but I wasn't sure if I could put a curse word in there.

Opening Moments
We get a Night of Champions recap, showing Cena winning the US Title and Rollins retaining the WWE Title. They show the aftermath with Sheamus & Kane. Then they go to RAW, recapping Rollins and Kane talking backstage, followed by Kane’s conversation with The Authority. We see clips from the main event, with Cena retaining and Kane dragging Rollins to hell in the middle of the ring. After the video, we cut straight to the Corpus Christi, TX crowd, as Eden Stiles introduces the Director of Operations, Kane!

Opening Segment: Kane & Rollins
Kane, standing in the ring already, welcomes everybody to Smackdown. Kane is thrilled to return to his duties, as the fake cheers are very clearly piped in. Kane was worried about coming back because everyone is so dang talented. He felt that this was the perfect time to come back, though, because the WWE is on fire and thanks to his administrative experience, he’s the best man to deal with the heat. Kane announces Kevin Owens & Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler & Ryback. He also announces Luke Harper vs. Roman Reigns with everyone barred from ringside. These damn fake cheers. I can’t.

Seth Rollins comes out to interrupt him and Kane is clapping for him. Rollins says that Kane’s not fooling anyone and that everyone knows that deep down, underneath that cheap suit, Kane is really the demon. Kane says he has expertise in conflict resolution and invites Rollins down to the ring. Rollins calls Kane crazy and they both talk about what happened at Night of Champions and RAW the next night. Kane says that he watched Night of Champions from the comfort of his own home. He also finds it great how Seth hasn’t lost his sense of humor in his absence. Kane has a moment where he turns into his old evil self, but then turns like a light bulb and acts like his joyful happy self. Rollins says that he’s lost it and isn’t fit to be the Director of Operations. Rollins goes on and says that Kane needs serious help. Kane ends it by announcing Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose.

Thoughts: Kane has always been my favorite wrestler growing up and I’m freaking loving this storyline for him. Say whatever you want about TNA doing this storyline with Abyss/Park, but Jimmy cracked corn and I don’t care! This is so much fun! He’s playing the happy, grinning self very well. And, of course, playing the Demon like he always does. We knew that we were going to get Seth Rollins vs. Kane eventually someday. Honestly, this is the most entertaining way they could’ve given us this. There’s no debating that point.

Match One: Roman Reigns vs. Luke Harper
Reigns ducks a clothesline. Harper tries to get a powerbomb in, but fails. Reigns tries to get his own powerbomb in, but also couldn’t. Reigns on the outside, slaps the taste out of Harper’s mouth before he could hit a dive onto him. Both men are on the outside, Reigns sends Harper into the barricade and apron. Reigns tries for a Samoan Drop, but Harper elbows him down. Reigns hits an uppercut and a series of clotheslines in the corner. Impressively, Reigns uppercuts Harper over the top rope. Harper big boots Reigns down on the outside and hits a Senton. Harper almost wins the match after a huge powerbomb. At the end, though, Reigns picks up the win after a Superman Punch and Spear.

Winners via Pinfall: Roman Reigns

Thoughts: A quick Smackdown match that continues this rivalry between Reigns & co. and The Wyatt Family. Honestly, this storyline didn’t get more interesting with Randy Orton involved. I’m failing to see much of a point for this long rivalry besides for putting Wyatt, Reigns, and maybe Ambrose on pause… sort of like this is a placeholder for these three guys.

Match Two: The New Day vs. Neville & The Lucha Dragons
Before the match, The New Day graces us with a promo. They say that at Madison Square Garden, they’ll defeat The Dudleys and will make the WWE great again. The highlight of the promo? When Big E called Bubba Ray, “Booty Ray.” The actions starts off between Neville and Kofi. After Neville and Kalisto knock Kofi around silly, the tag champs regroup on the outside as we go to commercial.

New Day are great when they have an opponent of theirs in the corner and they stomp him down, as Woods plays the trombone. Sin Cara gets in and hits a springboard crossbody onto Woods. An amazing moment occurred in the match when all three members of The New Day were out of the ring. Neville and Kalisto were each on a top turnbuckle. Sin Cara, in the ring, runs from one side to another and all three fly in the air and land on a New Day member in unison. It was quite the visual sight, wow! Back in the ring are the two legal men, Woods complains of an eye injury, but just so Kofi can distract Sin Cara. Woods hits what looks like a Shining Wizard or running knee onto Cara and pins him for the victory.

Winners via Pinfall: The New Day

Thoughts: Another quick match, but I didn’t understand the ending. It just went from the faces hitting an amazing triple aerial attack to The New Day winning. I’m not really that nitpicky, but just thought that was interesting. I saw Kofi tugging at Cara’s leg as Woods was feigning an injury, just expected something more. Good for New Day to continue their momentum.

Match Three: Cesaro vs. Bo Dallas
Before I write what Bo Dallas has to say, how interesting is it that last week The New Day were in the second match timeslot, just like Cesaro was in the third match timeslot. Smackdown seems so formulaic, like there’s not too much thought that goes into it. Such a damn shame when they could be having a brand split and make their product interesting again. Back to the show, Dallas says he feels Cesaro’s pain. Dallas makes a painful joke saying that he survived Suplex City, but Cesaro can’t escape from Big Show Boulevard. Obviously, Booker T laughs.

Cesaro starts off on top, but after yanking Cesaro down onto the ring apron, Dallas took control of the match. We’re starting to see a more aggressive side to Dallas. Dallas continues to work on the injured ribs, but Cesaro rolls Dallas up from out of nowhere and picks up the victory.

Winner via Pinfall: Cesaro

After the match, Rich Brennan starts talking about the Divas Title match from Night of Champions and quoted people who said that the match stole the show. What the hell are you smoking, Brennan?

Thoughts: Did this match give Cesaro any steam whatsoever? Not really. Cesaro needs a makeover. He lacks depth and a character. He needs something that’ll connect him more with the audience. He needs new music and new feel to him. He doesn’t need a new gimmick or a new look, but a new feel for him. All it takes is just one tiny tweak. What is that tweak, you ask? I have no idea.

In-Ring Segment: Charlotte, Paige, and Natalya
Charlotte and Becky Lynch come out, obviously without Paige. Speaking of which, Charlotte thanks the WWE Universe, but she can’t get too much in without Paige coming out to interupt her. Paige says she’s never been much of a team player before. She gets into the ring, joining her former two partners. She tells Becky that she may prove us all wrong and that even though she’s the least relevant, she may still become Divas Champion someday. The Anti-Diva turns her attention towards Charlotte and says that she’s a bit bitter that she isn’t the champion. However, she’s wondering if Charlotte is woman enough to handle being the champion. Charlotte says that Paige sucks at this...does this meaning cutting a coherent promo? If so, then I have to agree. Paige says that she deserves some recognition for starting the Divas Revolution. When Becky tries to chime in, Paige tells her to shut up...but Natalya’s music hits and she makes her return to Smackdown!

Paige calls Natalya a crazy cat lady, which is something Total Divas fans would know about. Natalya, in the ring, says that this division is the best it's ever been. She calls Sasha Banks a little feisty Chihuahua. She continues and tells Paige that she remembers when Paige won the title on her first night and that she was the first person to hug her backstage. Natalya keeps playing the grandma/voice-of-reason role and tries to settle things. Paige insults her, though, saying that she’s better than Natalya because Natalya allowed the Divas Revolution to pass her by. Paige puts the cherry on the sundae by slapping Natalya across the face and leaves the ring as her music plays.

Thoughts: I've got a lot of things to say about this whole Divas Revolution twist that happened on RAW. I’ve been begging for an interesting story and some character development from these ladies. It turns out, Paige came out and delivered a Paige-Bomb. She buried the entire division, with insults and thoughts that the entire Internet Wrestling Community was thinking and saying. I was ECSTATIC for both Paige and the Division. Finally, something that’ll stir the pot a bit. I’m sorry to be negative, though, but how could Paige have screwed that up? Is it really that hard to pick up a damn microphone and do a good job with your delivery? I understand that you have a very thick accent and can’t pronounce certain letters. There’s no point in complaining about that. But just because you have a thick accent, doesn’t mean that you can’t deliver your lines properly. The Paige-Bomb happened and I’m glad it did. Could it have been said better? Absolutely. Am I glad that it was Paige, out of all of the divas, who said it? Hell yes. This is a perfect role for her.

Now, am I happy that Natalya is back? You damn right I am. Do I like how her character was portrayed on Monday and tonight? Not a damn bit. She’s a veteran. She should be acting like one. You know how The Undertaker acted like a tough son of a bitch when he was the American Badass? You didn’t have to tell us that he’s a leader and a veteran. He showed it to us. Why isn’t Natalya acting like a tough son of a bitch? Paige just insulted the entire division. Berated and tried burying your ladies in your locker room. Foolish character choice. HOWEVER! Now that she’s been slapped in the face, I’m hoping this’ll get the ball rolling a bit. Hopefully, Natalya will join Charlotte and Becky. Hopefully Natalya will go apeshit and will stop playing the voice-of-reason and will be using her fist-of-reason. There is potential! Please don’t screw this up, WWE. It’s rare to get a special story like this.

Match Four: Kevin Owens & Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler & Ryback
Ziggler and Owens went one-on-one in the fourth match of the night last week and now they’re apart of the fourth match tonight. Owens and Ryback start things off, but Rusev quickly tags Rusev in. Ryback responds and tags Ziggler in. The former Night of Champions opponents go at it and Rusev takes Ziggler down in the corner. Owens tags himself in and stomps away on Ziggler. Rusev back in and he continues to pummel away on Zigler. Ziggler fights back and hits a huge DDT onto Rusev as we go to commercial.

Back from the break, we get the same old tag team story. The heels are in control as one of the faces try to get to their partner. After a bunch of tags between Owens and Rusev, Ziggler eventually tags in Ryback. Ryback takes down Rusev, but Rusev hits a spinning heel kick. Ryback powers out and knocks Owens off the apron. Rusev hits a huge kick onto a distracted Ryback, but Owens grabs his Intercontinental Title and walks out on his tag team partner, Rusev. Ziggler and Ryback take advantage of the numbers and they hit a superkick/shellshock combo for the win.

Winners via Pinfall: Ryback & Dolph Ziggler

Backstage Promo: Dudley Boyz & Renee Young
Renee meets up with the Dudley Boyz and tells them that the New Day were victorious in their match, but Bubba Ray interrupts her and says that even though she is a fan of theirs, she has to admit that they don’t act like champions. He says that at Madison Square Garden, they will defeat The New Day in their backyard and will become the ten-time tag team champions. Titus O’Neil & Darren Young interrupt their interview and wish them luck...but also say that when they beat The New Day, it’s Prime Time.

Backstage Promo: Seth Rollins & JoJo
Damn, JoJo’s short. JoJo says that Kane has thrown Rollins for a loop, but tonight he must focus on his match against Ambrose. Rollins says that he and The Authority need to have a serious talk about getting Kane the help he needs. Rollins says that he’ll do what he always does when he faces Dean Ambrose and that’s destroy him.

Thoughts: Two quick interviews. Nothing special.

Main Event: Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins
Lord, I cannot tell you how thankful I am that this main event isn’t a tag team match. A slow start to the match, with Ambrose getting the best of Rollins and working on his arm and shoulder. Rollins takes charge and starts beating Ambrose down in the corner. Ambrose starts building up some momentum and runs the ropes, eventually knocking Rollins out of the ring with a dropkick.

After the commercial, the heel is in control with a headlock! I wonder how many minutes we really miss during a taped Smackdown commercial. Ambrose tried to go for a dive to the outside, but Rollins blocks it. Rollins, getting to the top turnbuckle, jumps off and lands a knee to Ambrose’s head. Rollins starts messing with Ambrose and hits a lot of strikes - punches to the head and chops to the chest. Ambrose, turning things around, throws Rollins to the corner and hits a lot of chops in a very fast manner. Ambrose continues with the offense, but Rollins gets out of it and hits a superkick for a 2-count. Rollins gets frustrated, as he continues to work on Ambrose. He gets Ambrose into the corner, runs at him, and hits a splash in the corner. As Rollins runs to the other corner, Ambrose follows him and delivers his own splash. Ambrose sets himself up for a Rebound Clothesline.

Ambrose is back on the offense and goes for his own set of strikes - jabs and punches. Ambrose sets Rollins up on top and hits a suplex from the top turnbuckle for a 2-count. Ambrose is back up to the top turnbuckle, but it’s Rollins who runs up, but gets thrown off. Rollins lands on his feet, Ambrose jumps off and goes for a roll up and a 2-count. The two opponents go through a series of pinfalls but nobody gets a 3-count yet. Rollins runs at Ambrose, but Ambrose throws Rollins over the top rope. Ambrose runs to the ropes and back towards Rollins and hits a Suicide Dive. Ambrose rolls Rollins in and hits a Fisherman Suplex for another 2-count. Ambrose tries to do the Dirty Deeds, but Rollins hits an Enziguri. Both men are down and they make their way to their feet, while throwing punches at each other. Ambrose gets the better of Rollins and tries to go for the Dirty Deeds, which Rollins counters it into a Pedigree, but Ambrose counters it with the Dirty Deeds, but Rollins counter THAT with sending Ambrose into the corner that the referee is standing in. Ambrose avoids hurting the ref, but moves out of the way when Seth tries to charge the two. The referee doesn’t get hurt, but Rollins turns around and pokes Ambrose in the eye without the referee seeing. Rollins sets Ambrose up and hits a Bucklebomb. Rollins approaches Ambrose, but flames shoot up from the stage and now Rollins is looking to see if Kane’ll pop up from under the ring. Ambrose takes advantage of this and rolls Rollins up for the surprise victory over the WWE Champion!

Winners via Pinfall: Dean Ambrose

After the match, Kane is seen smiling backstage. Rollins grabs the microphone and asks if Kane wants to play mind games with him. He yells into the microphone, “Do you know who I am?! Do you know what I’m capable of?!” Rollins asks if Kane saw what he did to Sting. He says that he is the man and is still the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. We end with Rollins yelling in the ring and Kane watching him on a TV monitor from backstage.

Main Event + Overall Thoughts: Honestly, this wasn’t such a bad show. For an episode of Smackdown, we really saw the continuation of two huge storylines that began at the beginning of this week. Kane returning on Sunday and playing mind games on Monday… I didn’t think we’d see any development in the storyline until this upcoming RAW. We didn’t get too much of a development, but another layer was added tonight with their storyline. Kane kicked off tonight’s show and had a confrontation from afar with Rollins. Not too shabby for a Smackdown show. The second storyline that we saw further development for was with the Divas Revolution. Ugh, I hate saying those two words. Talk about watering down a concept that should be bigger than what it is. Anyways, Paige was out there with her former two partners and then Natalya! I’m hoping that slap will tighten things up and intensify the storyline. Hopefully at Hell in a Cell, we see Nikki Bella vs. Charlotte for the title and then we see Paige vs. Natalya. This storyline is worthy of having two divas matches on the PPV card. You don’t agree? Bit me. Just kidding...don’t.

Overall, nothing on tonight’s show was OUT OF THIS WORLD... but it was pretty eventful, unlike last week. Tonight, I shall give this show a solid B

Disagree with that grade? Felt like I said something wrong or something that you agree with? Feel free to comment below about your thoughts on Smackdown, this Report, or anything else you’d like. Feel free to shoot me an email here. Or follow me on Twitter and tweet me!

That’s all for me, folks. Thanks for reading, and until next time, smack you later.