Posted in: Smackdown
The Smackdown! Report (10/1/15) - The One Where Kofi Twerked On The Apron
By Uncle Leo
Oct 2, 2015 - 3:43:42 AM

Welcome everyone to the Smackdown Report!

My name is Uncle Leo and I'm here to deliver you your Smackdown report each and every week here on Lords of Pain!

Hope y’all had a great week. Can’t believe it’s October the first. Where did the time go? Anyways, it’s Thursday night, which means it’s time for some Smackdown action! Let’s start smacking…

The Smackdown Report!
October 1st, 2015

Opening Moments
We get a recap from RAW and saw what went down between Seth Rollins, Kane, and Ashley the Human Resources lady. Rich Brennan welcomes us to Smackdown and the Albany, NY crowd is looking fired and ready to go.

Opening Segment: Kane & Rollins
Before any introductions can be done, Seth Rollins comes out all heated. Rollins calls Corporate Kane a cover up for Demon Kane. Corporate Kane comes out, sporting crutches. Kane says he put up with Rollins with a smile on his face because he was looking forward to returning to work. Rollins calls him out on the last couple of weeks and how he has continuously attacked him. Rollins says that Kane must think he’s stupid or that Kane has a severe personality disorder. Kane denies being the demon and says he’s the director of operations. Kane, however, does say that he’s aware of the Demon that can dismember Rollins and spread his limbs across the arena. Kane says that while he’s aware of the Demon, he says that the Demon is not Corporate Kane. Kane announces New Day & Seth Rollins vs Dudley Boyz & the Demon. Rollins says that he’ll only accept this match if Corporate Kane is seated at ringside.

Thoughts: While I really enjoyed how the Demon Kane and Seth Rollins storyline started, I’m not quite sure I really understand why it’s still happening. The WWE has made an interesting choice by having Kane keep his two personalities, instead of just ditching the Corporate character after the first week and becoming the monster demon Kane.

Match One: Team Bella vs. Team BAD
Before the match, Sasha Banks says that nobody cares about who started the Divas Revolution. What everybody will care, she says, is how Team BAD will end it. Overall, this was a pretty good six-divas match. The match started off with a slap-off between Sasha Banks and Brie Bella. We went to commercial with Team BAD knocking Team Bella out of the ring. When we come back, Nikki takes control after Brie and Fox distract Naomi. Nikki and Sasha Banks are the legal divas and everyone seems to get involved, but then knocked out of the ring. At the end, Banks took advantage of this and delivered the Bank Statement, causing Nikki to tap out.

Winners via Pinfall: Team BAD

Thoughts: A pretty good six-divas tag team match. I’m curious as to where Team BAD will fit in this current divas storyline. It’s not such a bad thing that they haven’t been involved much. Charlotte will not lose the Divas title right away. She needs to defeat Nikki in a rematch. She needs to feud and defeat Paige. And that’s when Sasha Banks comes in as her third challenger and we see the eventual title change.

Backstage Segment: Rollins & New Day
A very funny backstage segment. Man, I friggin love The New Day. They pump Rollins up and they walk off together chanting, “Seth’s...the man. Seth’s...the man.” We see Kane smiling, as he watches them walk off.

Backstage Interview: JoJo interviews Becky Lynch & Charlotte
JoJo asks a random question that causes Charlotte and Becky Lynch to mumble, but things get interesting when Paige enters the shot. I mean, when the camera turns to her, she’s just standing there. So it just comes across like she’s been standing there the entire time. Anyways, Charlotte gives Paige an ultimatum. JoJo completely forgets to bring the microphone back to Paige so the anti-diva grabs her hand and asks if that was an ultimatum. Charlotte says that she left them no other choice and they walk off. As Paige goes to leave, Natalya is there waiting for her and warns her, telling her to never disrespect her again or else...

Thoughts: Number one... I freaking love The New Day. Number two… Becky Lynch is a hot mess. What the hell is she even? Yikes, talk about an identity crisis. Woof. And also, last week I said Natalya needs to rule with an iron fist and tonight we got opposed to her mother’s hen role.

Match Two: Kevin Owens (c) vs. Ryback for the Intercontinental Championship
An even match throughout, although I may give the edge a bit more towards Kevin Owens. Owens was trying to finish Ryback off with a pop-up powerbomb, but Ryback hangs onto the ropes. Ryback hits a spinebuster and then a meathook clothesline on Owens. Owens holds onto the ropes and avoids a Shellshock. On the outside now, both take each other out with a double clothesline. Ryback, stupidly rolls back into the ring without rolling Owens in as well, makes it before the count of ten, but Owens purposely counts himself out.

Winner via Countout: Ryback (but still the champion...Kevin Owens)

After the match, Owens tries to hit a powerbomb onto the ring apron, but Ryback gets out of it. Now in the ring, Ryback with a huge clothesline and a Shellshock onto Owens.

Thoughts: Eh, not a terrible match but nothing special either. Owens continues his program with Ryback, but hopefully this will end soon so Owens can feud with Ziggler. Ziggler > Ryback

Still to come... Bray Wyatt address Roman Reigns

Back from commercial, we see the same Big Show -- Brock Lesnar hype video.

Match Three: The Lucha Dragons & Neville vs. Stardust & The Ascension
Love the faces because of their high-flying abilities, but jesus what is the story here? They are continuously battling each other each and every week. Enough already. Okay, fine, I’ll review the match. It was an even match up and towards the end Kalisto gets the tag and really impresses. He hits a Corkscrew and Tornado DDT to Stardust. Stardust, battling Kalisto off of him, delivers two loud kicks to Neville. One of the Ascension members tag themselves in, but Kalisto his the Solina Del Sol for the victory!

Winners via Pinfall:The Lucha Dragons & Neville

Thoughts: Fun match, but I just don’t understand how a team of people -- who are being paid to create stories for real life people playing characters -- can’t come up with something for the Cosmic Wasteland. Or for Neville. Like seriously...

In-Ring Segment: Bray Wyatt Addresses Roman Reigns
Bray Wyatt is in the ring with Harper & Strowman. Wyatt says that he accepted his challenge for last RAW and together the created chaos together. He says it’s always been the two of them. That’s how it started and that’s how it’s going to end. Wyatt says that it needs to be anybody but Reigns, just as Reigns comes out with his music blasting. Reigns enters the ring, even with Strowman and Harper surrounding him. Both leaders have a deathly staredown. Wyatt tries to say something, Reigns grabs the microphone and Wyatt tells his boys to stand down. Reigns says “Hell in a Cell.” Wyatt screams, “I hope you’re willing to die.”

Thoughts: So it looks like we have another Hell in a Cell match announced… Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns. Most likely inside the cell. Very interesting decision to have these two go at it in singles competition, when it looked like it would be Wyatt Family vs. Reigns/Ambrose/Orton. I’m all for singles competition, though. It just seemed like this feud has been going on for a while.

Main Event: The New Day & Seth Rollins vs. The Dudley Boyz & Demon Kane
Corporate Kane is sitting at ringside and everyone else has come out. When it’s time for Demon Kane to come out, nothing happens. Match starts and we almost go straight to commercial. Back from break, the heels are in control. Each and every week, The New Day gets one of their opponents in their corner and they take turns stomping away at him, while Woods blows the trombone. I love that! Also, in case you’re wondering, Kofi is providing us with some booty shaking. D-Von gets thrown to the outside, next to Corporate Kane. Kane gets up to check on him, but Rollins...who’s closing in on a suicide dive...nails both D-Von and Kane. A doctor immediately runs to Kane and helps him get to the back. Rollins, freaking out, tags himself out and demands Kane sits back in his chair. Kane turns his head to Rollins and smiles really weirdly. Bubba Ray now is the legal man and clears house. D-Von, clears house as well.

Kane’s fire hits and out comes Demon Kane. He starts attacking Rollins and sends him into the timekeeper’s area. Kane tries to nail Rollins with a chokeslam, but Rollins runs away from Kane and into the crowd. Back in the ring, the Dudleys hit a 3D on Kofi for the victory.

Winners via Pinfall: The Dudley Boyz & Demon Kane

Kane gets into the ring and it looks like he’s about to celebrate with them. Kane picks up the WWE Title and stares at it. Kane delivers a chokeslam to Bubba Ray, D-Von, Kofi & Big E...and then a tombstone piledriver to Xavier Woods. Rollins, now standing on the top of the ramp, watches as Kane sets off his fire and then raises the WWE Title over his head.

Main Event + Overall Thoughts: Soooooooo I just really think this storyline would work if Kane is acting like he’s obviously messing with Rollins. I don’t think Corporate Kane’s foot should be injured. I think Corporate Kane should be sporting a fake injury instead of a real one. I think there should be subtle hints that Corporate Kane is doing this to mess with everyone, but still acting like a happy-go-lucky director of operations. Look, I’ve read a lot of people’s thoughts about how they don’t care to see Seth Rollins vs. Kane. But I have to ask, what’s the big deal? This has been a feud for months! It’s finally coming to a head on a pay per view where the main event will be Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker. This isn’t even the main event match. This is acting more like the supporting role, instead of the leading role. Recently, our main event scene looked like Seth Rollins, John Cena, and Sting. Moving forward, our main event is looking like Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, and Sheamus. Is it so bad that Kane was chosen to take on Rollins instead of Sheamus? Think about when Daniel Bryan became champion and had to defend it against Kane. That whole thing was just bad. This storyline, though, is different. It’s entertaining. It’s not your typical story. Is it the BEST story that they could’ve come up with? Absolutely not. Is it the WORST story that they could’ve come up with? No, it’s not. I’m enjoying it, but that’s because Kane was my favorite wrestler growing up. Also, notice how Rollins isn’t acting like a chicken-poop champion that he was when he had Kane and J&J Security. Being the WWE & US Champion, as well as facing both Cena & Sting at the same time, has transitioned Rollins quite nicely. Now he’s confronting Corporate Kane, while being your typical heel against a demonic monster. This is temporary. This will not go past Hell in a Cell. Everyone needs to cool their jets. Hot damn, I wish I could curse in this report, but here at the Smackdown Report...we have class. Okay? Class.

Overall, this show went by fast. We only had four matches and a big in-ring segment.. Tonight, I shall give this show a solid B- Disagree with that grade? Felt like I said something wrong or something that you agree with? Feel free to comment below about your thoughts on Smackdown, this Report, or anything else you’d like. Feel free to shoot me an email here. Or follow me on Twitter and tweet me!

That’s all for me, folks. Thanks for reading, and until next time, smack you later.