Posted in: Smackdown
WWE Smackdown Results 3/29/13
Mar 30, 2013 - 12:34:48 AM

Report by Richard Trionfo &

We are in Hershey, Pennsylvania and your announcers are Michael Cole, Josh Mathews and John Layfield.

We start off with the Rock and he brings it to the ring.

Rock pulls out a Hershey Bar to get a new version of the cheap pop and then he says about a month ago on Raw, he did something called Story Time with the Rock. He figured that story time should continue. He talked about buying his first car from a crack head in downtown Nashville.

Rock moved from Nashville to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. He was no ordinary 15 year old. He was six foot four and weighed two-twenty and was rocking a mustache. He asks if everyone wants to see a photo of the Rock at fifteen and we see it. He says that he looked like a bouncer for Menudo.

One of the great benefits of living in Bethlehem meant that he lived about an hour from a special town that he would go to on the weekends. They would go to a certain park and ride some rides. He says that he would eat as much chocolate as he could. It was a magical feeling to come back to this town. He feels like that fifteen year old child and he has to say.

FINALLY . . . the Rock has come back to Her . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . shey.

He says that he remembered on weekend. Rock says that he wanted a Whatchamacallit and he was looking at many stores. His friends wanted to get beer, but Rock wanted his candy bar. He found the candy bar but someone took the last one.

Rock says that something historic happened that night. He looked at that person and he told him that if he does not put down that candy, he is going to kick his candy ass.

That old lady put that candy down and left the store. Kicking your candy ass was created in Hershey.

People will go to extraordinary lengths to get what they want. Whether it be a Whatchamacallit or beating John Cena at Wrestlemania. Last week on Raw, John Cena got in his face but Rock says that he kicked his candy ass.

Cena will continue to come at him, but Rock says that he will kick Cena’s candy ass. He will come at him in his jeans shorts but Rock will kick his candy ass. Cena will come at him with his Fruity Pebbles and Rock will kick his candy ass. He will do it at Wrestlemania in front of the millions . . . and

PEOPLE POWER is back and John Laurinaitis makes his way to the ring.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Rock asks John who in the blue hell he is and John wants to know if that is a trick question. Everyone knows who he is. He reminds us that he is John Laurinaitis and he tells us what his former titles in WWE were.

Rock says that John has him confused with someone who gives a crap. John interrupted Story Time with the Rock.

John says that his former adversary Teddy Long gave him permission to come out to talk to Rock. John says that everyone thinks he will talk too long and then get Rock Bottomed. That will not happen because him and Rock are a lot alike. Rock is the People’s Champion and John created People Power. John was the greatest General Manager the WWE ever saw until one man ruined it. That man is John Cena. Cena is the reason he was fired and Cena is the reason why he is back.

Rock tells John that it might be John Cena who gets Laurinaitis’ ass kicked.

John tells Rock that John Cena will do whatever he needs to do to beat Rock. Everyone knows that. He has a business proposition for the Rock. He suggests that Big Johnny be in the corner of the Rock. John says that the people might not like it but the goal is to win. John says that there is no way that John Cena will beat him at Wrestlemania. John guarantees the Rock a victory. He says that they are like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. Two great tastes that taste great together.

Rock says that he loves Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Rock suggests that they involve the people. Rock wants to know if the people would like to see this stale, old, indigestible, stick to the top of the roof of your mouth until you vomit piece of peanut butter team up with the Most Electrifying piece of chocolate the world has ever seen.

Rock tells John that the people have spoken and he says that he is a business man and he has a business proposition for John. He says that it is not a Rock Bottom. Rock tells John that they send John Cena a message . . . together . . . like a peanut butter cup.

Rock tells John that they need to have a handshake so we know that John agrees. John shakes his hand and then Rock holds on and he gives John a spinebuster followed by a People’s Elbow.

Rock tells John Cena that at Wrestlemania, his candy ass is going down . . . again.

We go to commercial.

We are back and the Miz is at the announce table since he will be facing Wade Barrett at Wrestlemania.

Match Number One: Chris Jericho versus Wade Barrett in a Non Title Match and a Pro versus Rookie from NXT Season One Match

They lock up and Barrett with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Jericho with chops and a back elbow. Jericho with a drop kick and he clotheslines Barrett over the top rope to the floor. Jericho with a baseball slide to Barrett and then he goes to the floor and he sends Barrett into the announce table. Jericho sends Barrett back into the ring and Jericho with boots and a kick to Barrett.

Barrett with punches to Jericho followed by a head butt and kicks in the corner. Jericho with an Irish whip but Barrett sends Jericho to the apron. Jericho goes for a springboard move but Barrett with a boot that sends Jericho to the floor. We go to commercial.

We are back and Barrett with a reverse chin lock. Jericho with shoulder tackles and then he goes to the apron and up top for a double sledge to the head. Jericho tries for a Lionsault but Jericho lands on his feet. Barrett with a Blackpool Slam for a near fall. Barrett runs into a boot from Jericho and Jericho goes up top for a cross body and he gets a near fall.

Jericho with a kick to the head but Barrett gets Jericho on his shoulders for Wasteland but Jericho escapes and he tries for the Walls of Jericho. Barrett escapes and then he charges at Jericho but Jericho back body drops Barrett over the top rope to the floor. Jericho misses a pescado and Barrett sends him back into the ring.

Barrett gets in Miz’ face and Bradshaw reminds us that we fight on Friday nights. Barrett gets back into the ring but Jericho with a Codebreaker for the three count.

Winner: Chris Jericho

After the match, Miz goes to the back and he appears proud of what he did tonight.

Jericho says that he would like to celebrate this victory with every Jericho-holic but it appears that the man he will be facing at Wrestlemania will be making his grandiose entrance. Jericho says that he cannot pronounce his name yet. Jericho says that he will try again. Jericho says that it is Fan. . . dingbat. Fan . . . doodle. Fan . . . aki. Fan . . . dancypants. Fan. . . dannydevito. Fan . . . tomoftheopera. Fan . . . doingoboingo, and more.

Fandango’s music plays and he dances his way through the Golden Shower Curtain.

Jericho holds the ropes open for Fandango but Fandango stops short of the ring and he sashays to the back.

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time to take a look at a video package for the Brock Lesnar versus Triple H match.

Josh Mathews interviewed Paul Heyman earlier in the day and we go to that footage.

Paul asks Josh if he has something relevant or intelligent to tell him. Paul wants to know if he is here for a rebuttal to Triple H. Paul says that he is here to put it on the record to show the position that Triple H is in. It is a must lose situation. Paul says that he was talking about Triple H’s career not only as a wrestler but as the COO of a multi-million dollar corporation.

After Brock beats Triple H, Triple H will have to live through the wrestlers. He would not be able to wrestle because that was taken away from him. Triple H will then resent the entire locker room. How can you lead the locker room when you are jealous of them? The locker room will rebel against Triple H and they will rise up against him.

Triple H has made back to back the biggest mistakes of his career. Triple H thought that he could compete intellectually with Paul Heyman and he is no match for Paul. Paul says that Triple H tried to compete physically with his client and Triple H is no match for Brock Lesnar.

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time for the Bench Press Challenge between Ryback and Mark Henry.

Booker T is joined by Teddy Long on the stage with the barbell. Booker says that we are nine days away from Wrestlemania. Before their match, two of the strongest men in WWE history will prove who is strongest.

Booker brings out Ryback first. Out next is Mark Henry and Teddy Long does the introduction.

We are told that the record is 51 reps.

The winner is the person who can do the most reps at 225 pounds.

Booker has to stand between both men and he says that if either man breaks the ‘no contact’ clause, they will be banned from Wrestlemania.

Teddy says that there was a coin toss in the back and Mark goes first.

Mark starts and he is consistent through the first 45 and then he struggles to get to 53 reps.

Mark tells Ryback that what he do.

Ryback goes next to try to beat Mark and set a new world record.

Ryback has no problem getting to 40. He gets to 45 and he starts to slow down. Ryback gets to 53 and then Mark pushes the barbell on Ryback’s throat, but he does not make any contact with Ryback.

Ryback gasps for air while Mark tells Booker that he did not touch Ryback.

Mark goes to the back while the medical staff checks on Ryback. Ryback struggles to get back to his feet and he falls down on the stage.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Two: Dolph Ziggler and AJ Lee (with Big E Langston) versus Daniel Bryan and Kaitlyn (with Kane)

The men start things off and they lock up and Ziggler with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Bryan with an arm drag into an arm bar. Ziggler with a punch and Kaitlyn tags in. AJ enters the match as well. AJ retreats to the ropes but it is a trap for a kick to the chest and a round kick to the head and AJ gets a near fall.

AJ slams Kaitlyn’s head to the mat. AJ with a swinging neck breaker and another neck breaker for a near fall. AJ with a back heel kick but Kaitlyn with a flying shoulder tackle and then Bryan is tagged in.

Bryan with a flying clothesline and then he hits the running drop kick into the corner. He puts Ziggler on the turnbuckles and Bryan with a rana but Ziggler rolls through for a near fall after a sunset flip. Bryan with kicks of No and AJ distracts the referee long enough to allow Langston to grab Bryan’s leg. Ziggler with a drop kick for a near fall.

Kane takes Langston down on the floor and Ziggler with a baseball slide to Kane. Bryan tries for the No Lock and Ziggler tags in AJ. Bryan and Ziggler fight on the floor and AJ climbs on Bryan’s back. Ziggler with a kick but Bryan sends Ziggler into the announcers cubicle.

AJ drops Kaitlyn on the top rope and then she returns to the ring but Kaitlyn with a spear for the three count.

Winners: Daniel Bryan and Kaitlyn

We go to the back where we see a foot. It is Dean Ambrose. The Shield introduce themselves. They tell Randy, Sheamus, and Big Show that Wrestlemania is upon us. Rollins says that it is the Showcase of the Immortals. Ambrose says all of those clichés are heard and they said that they came up with the biggest cliché when they said that they could put aside their issues to fight a common enemy.

Reigns says that they are going to choke on their clichés and they will fail like everyone else.

Rollins says the strength of their purpose is bigger than any of their opponents. Ambrose says that a giant, a viper, and a warrior will not mix. Ambrose says that they think they can play nice together, but this is not a game. It is a story about justice and the final chapter will be written at Wrestlemania.

They tell everyone to believe in the Shield.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Three:Great Khali (with Hornswoggle and Natalya) versus Jack Swagger (with Zeb Colter)

They lock up and Khali pushes Swagger to the mat. They lock up again and Khali backs Swagger into the corner and he tries to chop Swagger but he takes too long and Swagger gets out of the corner and he connects with shoulders. Khali with a clothesline and then he sends Swagger into the corner.

Khali with a chop to the chest and then he sends Swagger into a different corner for another chop. Khali grabs Swagger by the throat but Swagger escapes and he kicks Khali and connects with shoulders in the corner. Khali pushes Swagger out of the corner. Khali with an elbow and a kick. Khali with two clotheslines. Khali sets for the chop to the head but Swagger gets to the floor.

Khali’s leg is dropped on the top rope and then Swagger with a running shoulder to the groin. Khali falls to the floor and then he tries for the ankle lock but Khali kicks Swagger away a few times.

Swagger applies the ankle lock and the referee gets to ten and both men are counted out.

Double Count Out

After the match, Swagger refuses to release the hold and Hornswoggle grabs Swagger. Colter and Swagger surround Hornswoggle and Swagger sends Hornswoggle into the ringside barrier.

Colter tells Swagger to break the leg, but Ricardo Rodriguez makes his way to the stage. He wants to know who Swagger is dealing with. He tells Swagger to come after him a third time. Swagger stands in the ring and his back is to the announce table while Ricardo limps to the ring. Del Rio appears behind Swagger and Del Rio attacks Swagger and Del Rio puts Swagger in the cross arm breaker. Colter breaks up the hold but Ricardo hits Colter with the crutch. Ricardo tosses the crutch to Del Rio but he cannot connect with Swagger who gets to the floor and he goes up the ramp with Colter.

We go to commercial.

We are back with a look at what happened between CM Punk and the Undertaker on Monday night.

Renee Young is in the interview area with Sheamus, Big Show, and Randy Orton. Renee asks them how they have worked together since the decision was made. Randy says that they have a common enemy. Sheamus says that he has put his problems with Big Show aside until Mania. Show says that Sheamus is the one who had the issues. Sheamus says that he couldn’t trust Show at first. Orton tells them they need to work together because they have a match tonight. Orton says that they are on the same page and that is bad news for their opponents tonight as well as The Shield.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Damien Sandow has something to say. Unlike this dysfunctional and motley crew they are fighting tonight, him, his best friend Cody Rhodes, and Antonio Cesaro are the quintessential six man team. They possess intelligence and have a mutual disdain for ignorance.

Cody says that their opponents only have in common that they are common. They are the instruments of their downfall.

Damien demands SILENCE.

Antonio yodels for everyone.

Match Number Four: Big Show, Randy Orton, and Sheamus versus Antonio Cesaro, Damien Sandow, and Cody Rhodes

Orton and Cesaro start things off and they lock up. Cesaro with a side head lock but Orton with a back elbow. Orton with a European uppercut and Sheamus tags in. Sheamus sends Cesaro into the corner and he punches and knees him. Cesaro with a boot to Sheamus followed by a European uppercut and forearm. Sheamus with a short arm clothesline and he tags in Show.

Cody is tagged in and he is not anxious to get into the ring. Show gives Cody a free shot. Show with punches and chops to Cody and then he chops Cesaro. He asks Sandow if he wants one and Damien goes to the floor. Show with a slam and we go to commercial.

We are back and Orton is tagged in and he kicks Sandow. Orton sends Sandow into the turnbuckles and he punches Sandow. Orton with a European uppercut to Sandow and then Sandow backs Orton into his corner. Sandow with shoulders and Orton punches and kicks his way out of the corner but Sandow with a kick to stop Orton.

Cody tags in and he stomps on the abdomen. Cesaro tags in and he leaps onto Orton’s chest and gets a near fall. Cesaro with a gutwrench and he hits a dead lift side salto for a near fall. Cesaro with a front face lock and Cody is tagged back in. Cody with a chicken wing using his leg and he applies a cross face as well. Orton gets to his feet and Orton with elbows and a head butt.

Cody with a knee to the midsection and Sandow is tagged in and he gets a near fall. Sandow with knees to the midsection followed by a side Russian leg sweep and the Elbow of Disdain for a near fall. Sandow with a reverse chin lock. Orton gets back to his feet and he punches Sandow but Sandow with a punch of his own. Orton with a back breaker and both men are down.

Cesaro goes up top but Show pushes him off. Sheamus and Rhodes tag in and Sheamus with two running double sledges followed by a running shoulder in the corner and then he connects with a knee lift. Sheamus sends Cody to the apron for John’s favorite move and he connects with ten forearms.

Sheamus decides to give Sandow a contribution. Cody drops Sheamus on the top rope and then he charges at Sheamus but Sheamus with White Noise after looking at the Wrestlemania sign. Sheamus looks around but Sandow attacks Sheamus. Cesaro joins in the attack but Show punches Cesaro and then Show sends Sandow to Orton for an RKO. Sheamus bloodies his chest for the Brogue Kick on Cody and he hits it and gets the three count.

Winners: Big Show, Sheamus, and Randy Orton

After the match, The Shield interrupt the celebration in the ring and they make their way down the aisle.

Orton, Sheamus, and Big Show decide to meet them in the crowd and The Shield decide to stand their ground and they fight in the crowd. Sheamus and Orton square off with Rollins and Ambrose while Reigns and Show battle. They make their way to a concourse and Orton, Sheamus, and Show are in control of things.

The Shield head for the exits while Orton, Sheamus, and Show stand tall.

We go to credits.

Report by Richard Trionfo &