As you see in the title, this is the third edition of the GOAT Talk column series. If you’ve been reading my work, you already know the deal, but for those of you that are new to things…
This is named after the YouTube show of the same name by Complex. On the show, different celebrities are given rapid-fire topics, and they have to choose their GOAT (Greatest Of All-Time, in case you’re 102 years old and are somehow reading this online) of each particular topic.
For each edition of the column, I’ve had people that I would reach out to for different topics, and they haven’t let me down. Some topics are serious, others have a lot sillier vibe, but they’re all related to pro wrestling in one way, shape, or form.
It’s an easy enough premise, so let’s jump right in.
GOAT WCW Monday Nitro Moment: A Special Night In Greenville. As far as historic value, nothing is going to top Scott Hall walking through the crowd and declaring “war” on WCW. However, for my taste, Ric Flair returning to the company after going through some ugly legal battles with Eric Bischoff is the pick here. Pure, unadulterated raw emotion from Flair, from the moment he walked out until the moment the segment ended. On top of that, he cut one of the best promos of his legendary career, completely roasting Bischoff for everything that Easy-E had put him and his family through. Great, great stuff.
GOAT Ring Announcer: Howard Finkel. Nobody loved the sport of professional wrestling more than “The Fink,” and it showed. The passion he poured into his ring announcing was evident, even when I watched WWF as a youngster.
GOAT Legit Tough Guy: Haku. Come on. There’s a lengthy list of some of the sport’s biggest, baddest dudes who are on record saying Haku is the toughest man pro wrestling has ever seen. Who am I to argue with them? What makes Uncle Tonga so scary is that he’s also one of the nicest, most humble people you’re ever going to meet. Like many people, though, he comes with a switch, and when that switch is flipped, it’s time for some fireworks. Even at the age of 66, he’s still someone who commands respect wherever he goes.
GOAT Fan Chant: “You’re Gonna Get Your Fucking Head Kicked In!” It’s simple, effective, catchy, and it’s damn near poetic. What’s not to like? It’s been used for a few different wrestlers through the years, but I will always associate it with Bryan Danielson.
GOAT Mick Foley Match: vs Shawn Michaels at WWF In Your House: Mind Games. If there’s one thing we know about Mick Foley, it’s that he always looks to overdeliver in his matches. With this being his first pay-per-view main event, and first shot at the WWF Championship, you knew he was going to step his game up here in a major way. If there’s one thing we know about Shawn Michaels, it’s that he shows no fear against opponents that are bigger, stronger, and supposedly more physical than he is. He always seemed to relish facing the likes of The Undertaker, Diesel, Sid, and so on. Even as a heel, he would wrestle guys like that with no fear. With the history that Mick Foley had in the ring, you knew HBK was also going to step his game up in a major way. Both men bumped their asses off in this match, with Shawn matching Mick almost every step of the way. The match was so good that it almost didn’t matter that the finish saw interference lead to a disqualification victory for Michaels. The only problem I have here is that we never saw these two square off against each other on pay-per-view again.
GOAT Wrestling Toy: WWF Wrestling Buddies by Tonka. Some people used them as pillows. Others used them like regular stuffed animals or plushies. Many kids, though… myself included… used them as wrestling opponents, putting on five-star classics all throughout the house. Hulk Hogan, The Ultimate Warrior, “Macho King” Randy Savage, and “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase were the only four in that original set, but no matter who you had, they probably took quite a beating through the years.
GOAT Mind For The Business: Paul Heyman. Nobody in the history of professional wrestling has ever mastered the art of “accentuate the positives and hide the negatives” like Heyman has through his creative career. Whether it was ECW or his time as a writer at different levels in WWE, Paul has always found a way to bring things out of wrestlers that other people (and sometimes the wrestlers themselves) couldn’t find before. He knows how to motivate his troops and bring the best out of them, and he has always understood what the fans of “his” product are looking for. Even today, if he was given “the book” for Raw and/or Smackdown, I feel you’d see a major improvement in what is already a hot product.
GOAT Wrestling Movie: The Wrestler. That’s an easy one. Shout out to 1986’s Body Slam, starring Dirk Benedict, Roddy Piper, Tanya Roberts, Captain Lou Albano, and more. That’s one of my “guilty pleasure” movies that I enjoy despite how bad it is. The Wrestler, though, is something that is actually well put together, and I can get lost in it while watching. I know that some people dislike the ending, but I appreciate the ambiguity, allowing for different viewers to take different things from it.
GOAT Promo: “Cane Dewey.” Even as a heel, Mick Foley (as Cactus Jack) was able to explain himself perfectly here. Not only that, but he made you sympathize with him. A father SHOULD be that upset if he sees a sign advocating physical violence against his three-year-old son. Mick masterfully weaved storyline frustrations with Tommy Dreamer with real-life frustrations with the craziest of the ECW fan base. The man has always been able to draw from his real emotions, no matter what they are, and this is the prime example of that.
GOAT Wrestling Hype Video: WWF’s “Desire” video, done to “My Sacrifice” by Creed. I have a special place in my heart for the other “Desire” video, done to “Lonely Road Of Faith” by Kid Rock. There’s another special place in my heart for the WrestleMania 17 hype piece for The Rock vs “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, done to Limp Bizkit’s “My Way.” They’re fantastic pieces of work, but that “My Sacrifice” video was the absolute perfect blend of nostalgia and raw emotion. WWF has always done incredible work with their video packages, but this was as epic as epic gets. The way the scenes in the video would match up to the lyrics of the song was a work of art. Honestly, though, if you chose either of the other two videos I mentioned here as your choice, I wouldn’t argue with you.
GOAT 5th Match At The Royal Rumble: Triple H vs Cactus Jack in 2000… or Kurt Angle vs Chris Benoit in 2003. Picking two matches is a bit of a cop out, I know, but my thoughts on which of these matches is better might change from day-to-day, depending on how I feel. Some days, I feel like watching the technical mastery of Angle vs Benoit. Other days, I feel like watching the brutality and violence of Triple H vs Cactus Jack. While we’re here, I really appreciate the silliness of this person requesting these topics, starting from the first GOAT Talk column. I’ve done a Survivor Series one, a SummerSlam one, and now, a Royal Rumble one. I eagerly anticipate a WrestleMania one in the next edition of GOAT Talk.
GOAT Pre-Boom Wrestling Territory: World Class Championship Wrestling (aka “Dallas”). I guess this one really depends on when you think the wrestling “boom” began. My line of thinking has the “boom” being when the WWF exploded in the mid-80’s, signing the likes of Hulk Hogan, the birth of “Hulkamania,” the birth of WrestleMania, Rock-N-Wresting, and so on. For my money, the work that WCCW was doing in the pre-WrestleMania days is better than what the WWF was putting out. The Von Erichs were GODS in Texas, and the love and admiration that the fans had for them meant that every storyline and feud they were involved in was as red hot as the sport had ever seen. That love and admiration was felt by the rest of the WCCW roster, as well, with everything up and down the cards feeling like a huge deal. If you went with Mid-South or Jim Crockett Promotions here, though, I’d be fine with it.
GOAT Cage Match: Tully Blanchard vs Magnum TA from Starrcade 1985… or Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs Owen Hart from SummerSlam 1994. First and foremost, I went with straight up Steel Cage matches, not anything with a roof, so Hell In A Cell, War Games, and so on weren’t included. However, this one is similar to my answer for the 5th match at a Royal Rumble event… my answer can vary, depending on how I feel that day. Tully vs Magnum is a whirlwind of pure hatred and bordering on over-the-top violence. Bret vs Owen was a different showcase of hatred, focusing more on the technical aspect of wrestling. Even the strategy for the matches was different, with Tully and Magnum taking full advantage of the “I Quit” stipulation, while the Hart brothers spent 30+ minutes fighting to escape the cage, as that was the only way to win. You can’t go wrong with either choice here.
GOAT Wrestling Nickname: “Stone Cold” is the pick here. In the history of the sport, there are a handful of wrestlers who have nicknames that are so deeply attached to them that you can’t say their names without saying the additional part. If someone just says “Steve Austin” now, it sounds weird. You have to refer to him as “Stone Cold” Steve Austin as if Stone Cold was the first name on his birth certificate, and Steve was his middle name. On top of that, “Stone Cold” encapsulated his character perfectly, making the whole thing even better.
GOAT Bad Idea: Brawl For All. So… if you’re presenting this as “real” fights, what the hell are you saying about every other match you’re giving us on television and pay-per-view? To make things even worse, the entire tournament was basically “rigged” so that “Dr. Death” Steve Williams would win, making him a major challenger for brand new WWF Champion, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin… except “Dr. Death” was knocked out in the second round by eventual tournament winner, Bart Gunn. Of the 16 overall competitors, a whopping seven of them would suffer legitimate injuries during the tournament, putting their “fake” fighting careers on hold. Bart Gunn could’ve become something of a star for the company, but when he was turned into a human bobblehead doll by Butterbean at WrestleMania 15, that idea went out the window. The entire thing was stupid, benefitted nobody, and was never attempted again.
GOAT Wrestling “Bodyguard”: Chyna. She didn’t need to say much of anything at all, but she was a total badass from the moment she debuted on WWF programming. The idea of a female “heater” for male wrestlers was so unique, but they chose the right woman to do it. Chyna was big enough and strong enough to get physical with the men, and she did just that time and time again.
GOAT Bad Match Ending: Hollywood Hogan vs Sting from WCW Starrcade 1997. A lot of people would give this to Sting vs Jeff Hardy at TNA Victory Road 2011, but needless to say, that was a very “special” occasion, and the finish was a last-second audible that those in charge felt necessary to make. Hogan vs Sting, though… this was the end of a year-long build to the biggest match in company history, and they completely shit the bed from bell-to-bell. Some say Hulk Hogan’s infamous “creative control” contract clause came into play here, and he refused to put Sting over clean, so the finish had to be changed. Eric Bischoff says he made the call to change the finish because Sting “hadn’t been working out” and “didn’t get ready” for the match, so he and Hulk agreed to go in a different direction. A “fast count” that wasn’t fast at all, Bret Hart coming out to complain about said “fast count” and then knocking the Referee out, Bret appointing himself the new Referee because he was the Special Guest Referee in the previous match, nWo interference that went nowhere, and Sting making Hogan tap out to become the new WCW World Champion. Some feel this was truly the beginning of the end for WCW. When you screw up a surefire thing this badly, you’re deserving of being the worst finish in wrestling history. The story was done in such a great fashion. They could’ve had Sting basically squash Hogan in four minutes, and it would’ve went over incredibly well, but nooooo… we can’t have Hulk Hogan look bad, now can we?
GOAT Championship Celebration: Daniel Bryan at WrestleMania 30. When I watch DB win in the main event of WrestleMania 30 these days, I always think back to a comment someone said on Reddit a few years back. The person said Bryan’s victory could’ve been the last episode of WWE, and it would’ve felt like a satisfying ending. We, as fans, had so much invested in Bryan and the journey he was on, and seeing him overcome everything placed before him to have that moment at WrestleMania was a beautiful thing. The crowd going nuts, Bryan’s immediate celebration with Connor The Crusher, the “Yes” chants… it’s as emotional as it gets. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention KofiMania at WrestleMania 35, as well as the ending of WrestleMania 20 with Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero. Those two are very special in their own way, even if the Benoit and Guerrero one has multiple reasons why it’s just depressing now.
GOAT Wrestling DVD: The Rise & Fall Of ECW. Based on the documentary alone, this is the best wrestling DVD that has ever been produced. It was a terrific look back at the… well… rise and fall of ECW. When the DVD was released, we were only three years removed from ECW shutting down, so the nostalgia was still fresh enough, and fans were really excited to relive the ride. Unlike a lot of other WWE produced docs, there was a lot for fans to learn by watching this, with never-before-told stories and things of that nature. The matches included on the set are a pretty sweet bonus.
GOAT Real Life Feud: Bret Hart & Shawn Michaels. You could say Jim Cornette & Vince Russo, and you might be right. If you said Bruiser Brody & José Huertas González, you’d technically be on the right track, since that one led to an actual murder. I’m going with Bret and Shawn, though. Their personalities were so completely different, and when you throw in HBK’s substance abuse issues, it led to nothing but personal and professional issues between the two. Shoot promos on a weekly basis, including Shawn’s “Sunny Days” shot at Bret that almost ruined Bret’s marriage, made the heat rise. Then… Shawn’s participation in the Montreal Screwjob was the gasoline on top of the already gasoline ignited fire.
Your turn. Take a look at the GOAT categories I worked with here, and tell me your thoughts… maybe you think I made a really great choice here and there, or you completely disagree with something. Either way, feel free to hit me up in the comments section below, or on Bluesky (@aaronhyden.bsky.social), and let me know what’s on your mind.
Now, let’s switch things over to my Weekly Power Rankings, before closing things out with the list of songs I was listening to as I put this column together.
Weekly Power Rankings
Konosuke Takeshita vs Kenny Omega: A bit slower paced than many of the lengthy epics that these two have wrestled through the years, but it was for good reason. The slower pace allowed for the story of Takeshita targeting Omega’s midsection, trying to use Omega’s diverticulitis to his advantage, and that made the match even better.
Swerve Strickland vs Ricochet: Does Los Angeles love Swerve Strickland or what? Man, they were red hot for him here, and it added so much to the overall quality of the match. I’m not 100% sure, but I think Leslie Jones is still at the arena and going ballistic.
Bianca Belair & Naomi: I’ve been very critical of Bianca Belair’s overall acting ability… whether it’s her selling, facial expressions, and so on… but she has nailed it recently. First, it was her reaction to Jade Cargill destroying Naomi inside of the Elimination Chamber, and now, it was this promo. Naomi’s revelation that she did, in fact, attack Jade months ago set Bianca off. She did a really good job coming across as someone who just had her heart broken after a betrayal by one of her best friends. Naomi, to her credit, also did a really good job here. She could’ve went directly into “dastardly heel” mode, but she, too, had to get her broken heart across first, justifying her actions. The real sign that this segment worked out was that it took place in Philadelphia… one of the most notoriously angry fan bases in the country, pro wrestling or otherwise… and it was accepted and reacted to positively.
Cody Rhodes: After John Cena’s shocking heel turn, everyone was really looking forward to hearing what Cody Rhodes had to say. In his first promo since Elimination Chamber, he did an amazing job of selling the anger, frustration, and hurt that his character should have after being attacked like he was. Cody does a great job with these types of fiery babyface promos, and the ball is now in Cena’s court for a rebuttal.
Will Ospreay vs Kyle Fletcher: If you wanted an athletic spectacle, this match is for you. If you wanted a violent spectacle, this match is for you. If you wanted a match where Kyle Fletcher looked like an absolute doofus by licking Will Ospreay’s blood on several different occasions, this match is for you. It’s all about variety, you know?
Mercedes Moné vs Momo Watanabe: Mercedes continues her in-ring hot streak. She has also been continuing her streak of not delivering good promos, as well as her streak of participating in matches that nobody expects her to lose, so there’s that. On to the next, I guess.
CM Punk: Whether they’re long or short, in-ring or backstage, there aren’t many people in the history of the sport that are better at angry promos than Punk. When he has a target… and now, he has several… he leans in and is not afraid to empty the clip.
Toni Storm & Mariah May: Their sit down interview, their match, their entire body of work in this storyline… it has all been excellent. It has been the best story in the brief history of AEW, the best story in the history of women’s wrestling, and easily one of the best stories in recent memory.
Lex Luger: I get that some people are still upset over whatever role Lex may or may not have played in the death of Miss Elizabeth. However, his story is one of tragedy, triumph, and redemption. By all accounts, he has completely turned his life around over the last few years, at a time when he could’ve went in the other direction and been pissed at the world for what happened to him. His work with Diamond Dallas Page has been amazing, as they try to get Lex out of his wheelchair and walking again. Lex finally becoming a member of the WWE Hall Of Fame makes me happy. He’s going to have one helluva speech when he’s officially inducted.
“Hangman” Adam Page vs MJF: Clunky, and damn near dangerous, at times. However, it was a good piece of business between two of the best that AEW has given the world. Hangman is heating up again, moving back up the card, and it won’t be long until he’s in the World Title picture again.
Kazuchika Okada vs Brody King: Brody basically dominated the entire match before finally being put away, but it helped to make him look like a legitimate singles threat. A lot of people wondered what would happen to him once Malakai Black left the company, but I think he has more than proven that a singles title should be in his not-too-distant future.
Rhea Ripley vs Iyo Sky: Sigh. Rhea vs Bianca at WrestleMania was RIGHT THERE. The company was right about to cross the finish line, and then they gave Iyo Sky the title. Now, the rumor is that we might be getting Iyo vs Rhea vs Bianca at WrestleMania, which isn’t the same. It isn’t the same!
LA Knight: I love Shinsuke Nakamura, but the United States Title means more when LA Knight has it. Now we get to see how this title reign goes, and just what he can do for the championship.
Swerve Strickland & Brody King vs Kazuchika Okada & Ricochet: It’s basically a trope for “go home” shows at this point. Take multiple pay-per-view matches, and put the competitors of those matches in a tag (or six-man, eight-man, etc.) bout on the show before that pay-per-view. It can be a nice preview for the show, and it can sometimes create those “odd couple” pairings that can be a lot of fun in wrestling.
War Raiders vs The Creed Brothers: Two teams of big badass dudes that shouldn’t be able to do the athletic things they pull off in the ring. This was a lot of fun, and I’m really hoping that the Creeds can truly connect with live crowds on the main roster, because they deserve their chance to shine at the top of the tag team division.
Will Ospreay, Powerhouse Hobbs, Mark Briscoe & Orange Cassidy vs Brian Cage, Lance Archer, Mark Davis & Bryan Keith: Tony Khan really loves “randomly” putting a bunch of people together in a match, doesn’t he? Like… he REALLY loves doing it. It seems like he does it on every episode of Dynamite and Collision, and it also seemed like he did it on every episode of Rampage.
Kelani Jordan vs Jaida Parker: Two of the better developmental success stories in the current crop of NXT newcomers. Both women have come a long way in a relatively short period of time, and have worked their way up the ranks in the NXT women’s division.
Daniel Garcia vs Lee Moriarty: I had high hopes for Garcia. Actually, I’ve had high hopes for him multiple times now, and then something always seems to get in his way. It used to be Chris Jericho that was always in his way, and now, it’s Tony Khan. Damn shame, really. DG keeps putting on entertaining matches, but his character seems cold now. There’s nothing for fans to really latch on to right now.
Lyra Valkyria vs Ivy Nile: I could be mistaken, but I believe this is Ivy Nile’s debut in my Weekly Power Rankings. This was easily the best match of her young career, and she looked like she belonged in the ring with Lyra, who is on a major roll recently.
Gunther vs Otis: It wasn’t super long, and nobody thought Otis was going to win or anything, but these two had an entertaining “big man” battle. I’d actually like to see them throw down again at some point in the future.
Shawn Spears: I don’t give one thin hair on a rat’s ass about his current NXT run… or most of his career, for that matter… but he’s the new NXT North American Champion, so, hooray, I suppose.
This Week’s Playlist: “Satanized” by Ghost… “TONGUES” by Thornhill… “Sentinel Hill” by MAVIS… “Feels Good” by Tony! Toni! Tone!… “It Never Rains (In Southern California)” by Tony! Toni! Tone!… “Whatever You Want” by Tony! Toni! Tone!… “If I Had No Loot” by Tony! Toni! Tone!… “(Lay Your Head On My) Pillow” by Tony! Toni! Tone!… “Anniversary” by Tony! Toni! Tone!… “Let’s Get Down” by Tony! Toni! Tone! & DJ Quik… “Notorious Thugs” by Notorious BIG & Bone Thugs N Harmony… “My Boo” by Ghost Town DJ’s… “Whatz Up, Whatz Up” by Playa Poncho & LA Sno… “Let It Burn” by Playa Poncho… “Love You Down” by INOJ… “Time After Time” by INOJ… “True City Thugs” by Ying Yang Twins… “That’s Right” by DJ Taz… “Dazzey Duks” by Duice… “Dunkie Butt” by 12 Gauge
