IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #425
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Thoughts on AEW Dynamite – May 3rd, 2023
1. First, congratulations to Will Washington, talk about living the dream! It’s Wednesday night, and I like this company even more now.
2. The weather here in Minnesota is finally both moderately warm and not windy as hell, so that’s a nice change. It’s hard to be sitting inside when we’ve been waiting for spring until now, but I love this show. “Jane” is a familiar way to start a show, and Bandido must’ve really liked him because he’s joining him for the entrance. Looks like they found an easier way to get the aviators on him too.
3. I haven’t seen a great deal of Roderick Strong, but the reverence with which everyone speaks of him tells me a lot. That and his totally not Sean Ross Sapp entrance. Baltimore feels hot tonight, and it makes me wish I was closer to where I grew up for a few hours. Baltimore was the closest big city during my non-college years and the easiest airport to fly out of, as flying into Harrisburg always meant just paying extra money for a connection through Baltimore or Philly anyway.
4. I’d say it’d be weird for Adam Cole to be so over as a face considering his longtime heel dynamic, but he’s so damn likable that it’s not difficult at all.
5. We’ve got Adam Cole, Roderick Strong, Bandido, and Orange Cassidy against the background players of the JAS, but alas, Jericho and his Britt Baker black-eye t-shirt will not be denied. He comes out to give everyone the Judas pop, and then leaves. Totally for good and will not be involved again at all.
6. I’m glad they at least reference the history between OC and AC. When you’ve had a lights out match, I feel like that’s worthy of recollection. We also get the 2005 Royal Rumble-esque eight-man standoff before everything breaks down. This is fun.
7. Good thing the haters were right and they totally didn’t sell thousands of tickets in presale to Wembley, eh?
8. The dives start coming, and OC gets caught and messed up. No catching Bandido though, and AC tries to go up toward Jericho. It goes predictably full of fail.
9. Hey, a 717 sign, that was my area code for over 20 years. Trying to get a view of who it is, wondering if it’s anyone I know.
10. Multiple attempts at a delayed vertical suplex, but Bandido still manages to suplex two people. Then OC keeps ducking as 2.0 punch each other before he inevitably ends up on the receiving end of the cheap heat portion of the match.
11. Tony describes what Jericho did with AC and Britt as the most despicable thing he’s ever done in his career. I know it’s their job to engage in hyperbole, but… I think there’s been some others that were way worse than that one. The segment where he broke Chyna’s thumb with a hammer while she was tied up, for instance?
12. Roderick gets a hot tag and starts suplexing fools. I love being able to discover both names I’ve never heard and ones that I have but missed a lot of.
13. Some people standing in the front row with rows of people behind them reminds me of why I sat on the floor once in 2002 and will never again.
14. AC drops the boom to get the win and then immediately sprints toward Jericho, demolishing part of the set in the process. Love to see it. Great way to open the show, complete with leveling up the storyline.
15. Renee is backstage with the face portion of the Pillars. How long before they get interrupted? Amazingly, they don’t, and it’s complete with Darby saying it’s showtime. Love it. Seems like they have some of their sound mix issues from the last few weeks a bit more in control.
16. Jericho participates in kicking AC out of the arena, aided by his particularly HAMmy boots. Britt tries to help and herself gets taken care of too. Where were all of you last week when this was going on in the ring, but sure, you’re there now.
17. Meanwhile, Danielson and the Real Pros are somewhere in the arena, and Danielson particularly hopes the “little shit” is better than he ever was. Danielson turns up the HAM more than usual, and I can’t help but think of the double meaning behind a lot of this promo battle.
18. Now we’re back to the Outcasts/Originals storyline that’ll hopefully continue moving forward. It’s apparently one of the most bitter rivalries they’ve had in AEW. If only…
19. It ain’t easy being green, but it even ain’t easier being perpetually happy, or something. I admire people who can maintain that level of optimism and happiness that Willow does.
20. During the break, the commentators drop a Perry Saturn reference. That itself is worthy of mention. But the damn feed froze.
21. After interference and Ruby taking the POUUUUUUUUNCE, Willow loses. Again. Due to interference, again. But hey, a new twist, there’s Shida, finally! After she was totally mad about not being picked as the not-Mercedes tag team partner and disappeared, she immediately embraces the Outcasts? I think it might be a ruse, and yep, there’s Jamie and Britt, the latter of whom at least didn’t get kicked out of the arena. Tony acknowledges that too. Saraya gets her face spray-painted, which can’t feel good.
22. Ohai, House of Black, good to see you again. They make a challenge but with more enforced rules. Almost akin to the stuff the BCC is pitching. This feels like some actual development and a personalized approach to the division, an “open house” if you will.
23. The trios battle royal is next, and I hope it’s the metered entry kind instead of everyone being there at once. We’ll see. Wait, it’s not for a shot at the titles, as the commentators discuss that the winners would be in line for a shot. Why not? What’s the point then?
24. The Lucha Brothers and Vikingo take us into the break during their entrance, which means we see them chill for a considerable time, and everyone else comes out until the Acclaimed rap. The meter is… attempted. Damn, Bowens sure gets attacked before he finishes the line a lot now.
25. It’s the “everyone in” kind of battle royal, so like the zoo on Sunday afternoon, absolute chaos.
26. I thought the Scissor singing would’ve died out by now, but it really hasn’t. Some things fade out, but a few remain longterm.
27. Evil Uno gets eliminated by Aaron Solo. He main evented with Jon Moxley not too far back. Other than Stu returning, has anything happened where the Dark Order has looked good lately?
28. “Vikingo might be goneski-o.” YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
29. The storyline with Hobbs and the Lucha Brothers picks back up. The elimination spot is incredibly awkward. Vikingo takes him on though, gets some shots in, but it ends just as badly for him. Speaking of bad, Hobbs charges the Acclaimed and they move aside while he eliminates himself. That happened.
30. It takes them a considerable while to notice that John Silver is still there. That says a lot about the Dark Order’s current standing. Taz is speaking fire at everyone else tonight and it’s awesome.
31. “The House of Black’s next challenge could be whoever wins this match.” Again, why. Isn’t. It?
32. Oh, there goes Silver. Thanks for coming.
33. The Butcher, Blade, and Sabian remain against Senior Ass and Anthony Bowens. They even it out and then win after stereo Fame-Assers. Not that there was much doubt, as the Butcher and the Blade once again fail to get a win. It was fine though, good to see the Acclaimed back in title contention after wasting their time with 2.0. They stand around while the commentators talk long enough that it’s surprising nothing else happened.
34. Now that’s more like it, Sammy Guevara and Renee get immediately interrupted by MJF. We acknowledge that one of the wrestlers actually does watch the show and follows up with it. MJF sells it so so ridiculously, and Sammy kisses him on the head for it. These two are pure HAM together. They need their own “Too Many Cooks”-esque spinoff. They talk about meshing their entrance themes. Can’t be worse than Booker T and RVD’s.
35. Next is Kenny’s response to Mox earlier, but Don Callis takes it over. He shows the scar from the unfortunate incident a little while ago.
36. Next, Wardlow and his glock assistant were announced as “in action” so I’m sure it’ll go well for whoever is on the other side. It goes exactly as well as you’d expect, which is fine.
37. Wardlow isn’t done yet though and he grabs the mic to demand a TNT open challenge. Is it an open challenge if someone’s demanding it? Whatever, it means these four are interacting more.
38. Christian pulls out some “your local area sucks” before saying that he and not lizard Super Shredder is going to take the title shot. Okay then. I mean, it’ll be a match with Christian so that’ll be automatically good, but this isn’t where I thought it was going.
39. Next will be Ricky Starks against Juice Robinson, which we were supposed to get before Jay White annihilated it.
40. Before this though, Triple J go to visit Mark Briscoe and a little one. Mark continues to be completely surprised by everything, and hands off the baby with Satnam. Jeff is about to give a rendition of “With My Baby Tonight” but Daddy Briscoe is just as aware of everyone’s shenanigans. They finally ask Mark how they beat FTR and that’s where it ends. That was gloriously silly.
41. Now’s the time for neon lights and synthwave, and hopefully Ricky Starks can get back on track. Jay White comes out but then heads to the back, which is of course where he’s going to stay. The commentators seem just as aware of this definite outcome.
42. Ricky wins pretty handily with a double finisher sequence, but oh here comes Jay White from the crowd, ya never think that’ll happen. Shawn Spears isn’t there, so he has no backup since Action Andretti has disappeared from the scene. Ricky nearly turns it around on Jay too, but Juice pulls him away.
43. Four pillars tag team main event to get us the match we all expected in the first place. MJF sneaks backstage to try to buy off Jungle Boy. It’s nice to hear people using “Jack” at the end of sentences when the guy’s name is actually Jack. Darby comes back and like at least 54 percent of romantic comedies, misinterprets what he oversees and turns all dark because of it.
44. Sammy and Max come out to their mashed up theme, and it’s better than the horror example of the worst one. The battle of the Headlock Takeovers continues, though Taz mentions it as a Headlock Takedown. Mishears lyrics and makes it amazing, might as well do it with everything. We also get multiple scarf chokes to a huge pop.
45. Tony turns into the heckler from Happy Gilmore for a second. “We know you’re the world champion, ya jackass.”
46. We get a mid-match promo with MJF and Sammy trashing the local town/state/etc. We also get a “you can’t wrestle” chant, because this is a 2005 crowd in Hammerstein, apparently.
47. Jack Perry gets the hot tag, but more heel shenanigans disrupt that momentum. For an inevitable split, these two are a great heel tag team and work fantastically together. They end up doing a badly-attempted synced clap before a double dive to the outside, though MJF doesn’t actually do it.
48. It’s no surprise, but the magic finally ends between MJF and Sammy, which gets Sammy attacked two-on-one. JB tries to make the pin but isn’t legal, refreshingly unusual that they remember that. Darby comes in with a coffin drop that barely misses JB. Faces win but they’re mad at each other too, so we’re headed to the four-way Four Pillar match, as it should’ve always been.
49. The show was just fun, and truly felt like a good strong lead-in to Double or Nothing. Interested to see where they go with that, given that we still have some time to go before the PPV, but it doesn’t feel like spinning the wheels anymore.
1/4/23 – The Gunns
1/11/23 – Daddy Magic
1/13/23 – Danhausen
1/18/23 – Sonjay Dutt
1/20/23 – Stokely Hathaway
1/25/23 – Tony Schiavone
1/27/23 – Danhausen
2/1/23 – Jade Cargill
2/3/23 – Ethan Page
2/8/23 – MJF
2/10/23 – STIIIIIIING
2/15/23 – Ruby Soho
2/17/23 – Dustin Rhodes
2/22/23 – Chris Jericho
2/24/23 – Matt Hardy
3/1/23 – Big Bill
3/3/23 – Jungle Boy
3/5/23 – MJF
3/8/23 – Anthony Bowens
3/10/23 – Riho
3/15/23 – MJF/Darby Allin/Jungle Boy/Sammy Guevara
3/22/23 – STIIIIIING
3/29/23 – Juice Robinson
3/31/23 – Eddie Kingston
4/5/23 – MJF
4/7/23 – Darby Allin/Julia Hart
4/12/23 – STIIIIIIIIING
4/14/23 – 2.0/Biff Hager
4/19/23 – Sammy Guevara
4/26/23 – MJF
5/3/23 – Triple J/Mark Briscoe
The entire Triple J/Briscoe segment was glorious HAM.