IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #426
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Thoughts on AEW Dynamite – May 10th, 2023
1. Damn, we’re opening up Dynamite like a Rampage, Double Jeopardy match, Fenix against Claudio, and an A-E-Dub chant. Except, well… Someone’s watching.
2. Excalibur already doing his rundown, and I feel like things are in fast-forward. Now I see a sign that couldn’t be more Midwest if it said “we’re in the Midwest.” “It’s pop not soda.” As someone raised on the east coast… No. (I don’t actually care but I know people do for some reason. I do care when they say Kwik Trip is better than Sheetz because the best Kwik Trip on its best day is still worse than a bad Sheetz, but sure. Also sorry non-US audience.)
3. We’ve got dives, we’ve got hypes, and Fenix was also nice enough to dress up like Mox’s hot dog cart, that was nice of him.
4. Fenix does a barricade run and they say that no one has ever done that. Um… I do think Jeff Hardy is on your roster, friends. To be fair though, Fenix didn’t slip off Barry Barricade, so that’s something.
5. Danielson and Yuta watch on, nodding approvingly, the way people normally watch a television. “Yes, yes, we approve of these goings on, this calls for a victory snort.”
6. This company has a lot of proving ground/eliminator type matches where if someone wins, they get a title shot, but they very rarely result in the champion getting beaten, and I appreciate that. Champions shouldn’t lose matches, even non-title ones, very often, and few things detract from championship reigns more than constantly being beaten in non-title matches. However in this case, one champion is going to lose, and I expect it to be the tag wrestler more than the singles one for obvious reasons.
7. The ROH titles have been featured so rarely on AEW since Honor Club started that this doesn’t feel annoying like it did a good six months ago. Especially since both are regular AEW competitors. Claudio less so, he hasn’t been in too many matches, but you get the point.
8. Claudio kicks out with ease, cut to… ::nod nod::, yes, we approve of this too… ::nod nod:: How about a hearty heel guffaw?”
9. Fenix comes off the top rope with a Flying Nothing and gets an uppercut right in the fuck for his effort. He still manages to spin it into a near-fall shortly after. Good JBL, AEW knows how to start their shows.
10. Aubrey’s got the bluest blue eye shadow I’ve ever seen, and it matches the stage lights. Matching chic.
11. The anvil elbows end up softening Fenix for Claudio to get the win. I forgot that Claudio’s music sounds a lot more like the V for Vendetta blowy uppy song now. Little surprise that the singles champion beat the tag champion, but it was still ridiculously fun all the same.
12. Our cameras are in the… that can’t be right… OOH LEGS! Holy shit it’s Miro! It’s about freaking time!
13. MJF comes in with a Cody reference immediately, and it’s gleeful. He compares the Pillars to the Beatles, so… that’s a thing. I was unaware there was that much acid in the locker room. A CM Punk mention too, so that’s no longer persona non grata.
14. We go from one segment to another, this one detailing the history of the Omega/Mox feud, AKA the BCC vs. Elite where Danielson’s totally not saying the words of someone else as fuel to the fire feud. While I like how big of a deal they’re making this seem, it’s also a bit strange to have something that’s this big of a deal a few weeks short of a PPV, but I’m sure the Blood and Guts/Anarchy in the Arena/whatever stipulation they give it will outdo it.
15. People ask me sometimes what Synthwave vibes are? FTR. Their entrance theme, the lights, their logo…
16. Ch-ch-ch-chosen one. What a mix of looks going on, unfortunately no overalls. Sonjay wants to know if they accept the challenge for Double or Nothing. But there appears to be some negotiation going on, complete with a “carny asshole” drop. It still feels so weird that they’re basically high school cliques arguing over who was the OG friend.
17. Speaking of whom… If anything can give a segment more HAM, it’s Mark Briscoe saying words. He’s gonna be the special guest referee, all right. He also brought cups and hooch, I’m sure no shenanigans will ensue whatsoever. Gee who saw that coming, at least it wasn’t White Lightning Sonjay spit. Dax while blinded by the sauce accidentally piledrives Mark Briscoe, whoopsie.
18. Renee interviews Jericho, and he accuses Cole of creating an unsafe work environment, and now there’s a restraining order. This prompts Roderick Strong to make a challenge, Falls Count Anywhere. Sure, why not?
19. Renee is again backstage, this time by Tony Khan’s office, and we see another familiar face heading in there… Things are afoot.
20. Sammy Guevara’s Pillar promo gets his wife and friends in on the action, great contrast with MJF’s style.
21. Now for a Tony Khan promo, and it seems to be the introduction to AEW Collision, especially since the point of it is that there’s so many wrestlers looking for more time.
22. Now we’ve got Orange Cassidy defending his title against Daniel Garcia, and this show is moving 100mph to say the least. Garcia comes out with his Zeke Elliot shirt and is assured getting this title match totally makes sense.
23. The battle over pockets gets a step up. OC continues selling the hand injury, to the point that you’d wonder why they’re letting him wrestle in the first place, but wrestling.
24. Garcia gets OC in the corner and then uses the ropes for leverage, stomping like he’s crushing grapes at a winery or something. I don’t know why I found that so funny.
25. They really love the crane shots tonight, some of them twice in a row from different ones. There’s one panning by like it’s the opening scene of Highlander.
26. OC gets a counter Stundog Millionaire but it looks like a crash halfway through a roll-up, which… technically it is, I guess.
27. OC gets countered on the Orange Punch, and now the knee is hurting. Man can’t get a break with the joints. This prompts Garcia to do the soft kicks, and he follows it up with a nasty piledriver. Garcia’s getting the submission moves in hard today, and OC is red in desperation. Through an amazing series of counters, including Garcia stomping the hand, OC gets the seatbelt in and barely gets the three. What a fun ending.
28. OC continues selling the worse condition he keeps ending up in, but Orange Cassidy: Fighting Champion successfully defends again.
29. Pre-tape segment heavy tonight, but that’s to be expected this close to the PPV. This one details the Outcasts against Hayter and Baker.
30. No time to breathe, full speed continues. I’m sure Collision will help balance this out a bit. Christian and Lizard Shredder are next. It’s been true for decades, Christian knows how to get heat and get a legit reaction. The more stories I hear about him and how he puts together matches, the more underrated and admirable he is. Excalibur uses the word “gumption” to describe him, and that fits.
31. Darby’s Pillar promo brings in his dad and his skate park. I love how he works in the other stuff he does as in line with how he wrestles. Once again, these are so well produced and, more importantly, visually and thematically distinct from each other. Sting gets some words in too, which continues to help Darby’s status simply by association.
32. Time for entrance theme karaoke, Julia and Anna bring their feud to Dynamite this time, and Anna comes in with the steel chair during the entrance. I guess the show wasn’t going fast enough, we had no time for entrances. The weapons… or I guess the weapon… come out quickly. Anna’s had her fair share of dangerous weapon matches, and Julia has the vibe of being right at home in such an environment. Great setup.
33. We get Julia hitting Anna with the kendo sticks, but suddenly Anna’s just fine and gets some shots in of her own. It’s a match with stuff going on, so of course the crowd wants tables. At least they didn’t wait to chant for it until after the tables were out this time.
34. It’s not the smoothest, but it’s vicious in the best ways. Believable, most importantly, is a great way to describe it.
35. I don’t even know what to call it… a Widow’s Peak, maybe? Anna throws Julia into a pile of chairs.
36. Julia ends up getting Anna in a superplex, and even though it falls short, it still leads to Julia winning by submission. Wow, talk about two wrestlers making the most of their chance on the main show!
37. Speaking of the House of Black though, their own specific match where they even give away a stipulation to the challenger, that’s so badass. Bandido is taking the place of the injured Danhausen to team with the BFFs, and OC thinks there’s room for three more belts in the bag. Chuck Taylor decides all witches are barred from ringside. Man, Chuck? How are you gonna dig through the ditches and burn through the witches if they’re not allowed to be there? You can’t slam in the back of your Dragula without half of the necessary factors in the equation. OC says he’s so tired. Can relate.
38. The House of Black entrance is such a vibe, and this one we should get the full one after Julia’s was cut off.
39. I don’t think the BFFs have a chance in hell, but this should be interesting nonetheless. That’s mostly how the BFs have been used, at least while I’ve been watching.
40. The lights are kept out too, which also makes it feel unique and different. Unlike a few of the red light specials over the years, this low blue light leaves things pretty easy to see.
41. OC watches on, and instead of nodding is selling the joint pain. All kinds of reactions here tonight.
42. The House of Black start barking with the crowd, and as a lifelong Cleveland Browns fan, it’s nice to hear that along with a team that actually wins sometimes.
43. The House of Black win to the surprise of literally no one, but this was a great way to establish what kind of match this is. But oh shit, someone attacked OC backstage, and it appears to be Kyle Fletcher, complete with multiple belts. Come on, the poor guy’s injured enough!
44. Final Pillar promo, and Christian even begrudgingly puts him over. There’s another difference between his and the others, good stuff.
45. Ricky Starks and Jay White are previewed too, more of those backstage pre-tapes, but not in a bad way.
46. Main event steel cage match, somehow both a huge main event and a preview for things to come soon.
47. No extended Omega introduction, that’s disappointing. Maybe it’s to sell the seriousity of the match itself, but it doesn’t feel the same without an extended “North Carolina!”
48. Another entrance cut off by an attack, time is a luxury this show simply does not have tonight. And the BCC come in to attack within about four seconds. The Young Bucks come in to balance things out, but I have a feeling that’s not the end of the shenanigans.
49. Omega finally gets in the ring as the brawl ensues. Are they trying to kick Moxley out? What kind of security is that?
50. Vaulting thrown barbed wire chair, and they’re all “I think that hurt his hand.” Yeah, I’d be more worried if it didn’t, yo.
51. Mox hasn’t bled in a while. Stomping a barby chair into his back should fix that, theoretically. Not great for back adjustments but it gets the job done as a weapon. Mox looks like he’s bleeding enough to make up for all the weeks that they’ve been all heelz don’t bleeeed.
52. We’ve got suplexes, bulldogs, and kicks into the same steel chair. They ain’t messing around in this stable clash preview, that’s for sure.
53. I’m so glad I get to see what’s going on during the break. Turnbuckle squeakies. Mox is bringing the top rope down, I’m guessing to use as a weapon, but he can’t get it to detach. He ends up using the turnbuckle hook as a piece of dental equipment, the “you sick fuck” chant is well deserved.
54. There wasn’t enough blood yet, we’ve got broken glass now. Yikes.
55. Mox manages to pop Omega in a chokehold after being slammed in broken glass, and we see it buried in his skin. Cringe, cringe, cringe. Kenny V-Triggers Mo through the side panel of the cage like it’s Valentine’s Day Massacre ’99. He’s holding the knee, and yeah, I can imagine it was an unpleasant landing.
56. Mox gets the screwdriver, but Callis saves him. Then all the sudden he breaks up the pinfall after a One-Winged Angel, thus helping Mox get the win. The crowd reaction was perfect, even though they’ve been hinting toward that for quite a while. Spot for Takeshita to turn heel, for Hangman to return? Perfect next step in the feud. If only they knew how to do that with certain other feuds.
57. How you gonna be heel in that sportcoat though? Whose couch did you steal that from?
58. Callis winds up with the screwdriver, but hesitates. Instead he grabs his head and whispers something to him. Danielson is watching this with such a chuckle, I can’t help but find it funny.
59. This show was a great Double or Nothing setup show, and also makes two more hours of relevant content more necessary. They say that Rampage will become the Sunday Night Heat equivalent, and I’m confused because… It wasn’t already? I look forward to Collision if it’s going to be like a Saturday night Dynamite show with a somewhat different roster. Especially with Dark and Elevation giving way for such things. Very fast-paced show tonight, they had a lot to get in, but everything that was on really delivered, especially Julia and Anna.
1/4/23 – The Gunns
1/11/23 – Daddy Magic
1/13/23 – Danhausen
1/18/23 – Sonjay Dutt
1/20/23 – Stokely Hathaway
1/25/23 – Tony Schiavone
1/27/23 – Danhausen
2/1/23 – Jade Cargill
2/3/23 – Ethan Page
2/8/23 – MJF
2/10/23 – STIIIIIIING
2/15/23 – Ruby Soho
2/17/23 – Dustin Rhodes
2/22/23 – Chris Jericho
2/24/23 – Matt Hardy
3/1/23 – Big Bill
3/3/23 – Jungle Boy
3/5/23 – MJF
3/8/23 – Anthony Bowens
3/10/23 – Riho
3/15/23 – MJF/Darby Allin/Jungle Boy/Sammy Guevara
3/22/23 – STIIIIIING
3/29/23 – Juice Robinson
3/31/23 – Eddie Kingston
4/5/23 – MJF
4/7/23 – Darby Allin/Julia Hart
4/12/23 – STIIIIIIIIING
4/14/23 – 2.0/Biff Hager
4/19/23 – Sammy Guevara
4/26/23 – MJF
5/3/23 – Triple J/Mark Briscoe
5/5/23 – The Firm Deletion – All of it
5/10/23 – Chuck Taylor and Trent Baretta