IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #429
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Thoughts on AEW: Double or Nothing – May 28th, 2023
1. Not much to say about the pre-show. Jeff looked like he took a nasty spill, but the commentary team played it off well as ring rust and an ankle injury. I’m not sure if we’re supposed to wear fedoras or cowboy hats. And Big Show wants to mention the word “swivel” a lot. What a delightful combination of personalities that pre-show team was. Anything with Stokely is automatically upgraded.
2. We’re starting off with the battle royal, which will not be the casino rules of five entering at a time with one joker. Sure, why would you want to keep something relatively unique when you can do not that.
3. Orange Cassidy almost gets tossed immediately by Lilac Sabian. Komander does the rope walk into a dive, which doesn’t count because he hadn’t gotten in the ring yet. Okay then. Brian Cage is hanging out up the ramp like Nunzio in the 2004 Royal Rumble, so it would only be appropriate if Big Bill came down there and threw him in.
4. We get, for lack of a better term, a Lucha House Party. All the luchadors protecc Bandido during the stalling suplex. I love the little stories within the overall storyline of the match they’re telling.
5. Cage finally gets in, I’m guessing because he had the Varsity Athletes lasting longer on DraftKings and now he’s annoyed by it. He does his own Suplex City to both the Lucha Bros before Bandido freaking lifts him. Not to be outdone, Cage pulls up Bandido in the fallaway slam and then catches Komander off the top rope while keeping Bandido in his arms. For how dull battle royals can be at times, this is not one of those examples. We don’t have to wait until the final seven or eight for it to get interesting. Fantastic choice as a show-opener, and not just because Orange Cassidy wouldn’t know what to do if he had to wait past the opening fireworks to go out.
6. Jay White plays spoilsport by knocking Komander out mid-ropewalk. Ricky Starks barely, and I mean barely, avoids elimination by holding his feet up on the ring apron. Orange Cassidy drops to avoid Chuck Taylor getting tossed out, which probably won’t go over well. You don’t turn your back on your favorite pair of shoes.
7. Swerve, who remained up in the Cage-Nunzio observing post, finally starts walking down when it’s time to go after Keith Lee. That staredown might’ve gotten a bigger pop had they not had multiple tag matches since the cinderblock incident, but it was still cool.
8. So much for the Butcher’s luck in battle royals, the wind from a thrust kick vaguely near his head made him lose his balance and get eliminated. Ya hate to see it. Trent then saves his buddy OC by pushing him out of the way to take a Big Bill Big Boot to the face. Cage takes out Keith Lee. Dustin throws a little brother reference in there with the Cross Rhodes. Penta accidentally causes his own brother’s elimination, but Juice gets taken out too.
9. Ricky eliminates Jay White to a huge pop, and then immediately gets destroyed by Juice and Jayva. Not eliminated, but took some damage. Remaining in the ring: Big Bill, OC, Dustin, Penta, Cage, Swerve. Then, of all people, Big Bill takes out Ricky Starks? Okay then. Dustin eliminates Cage, Swerve eliminates Dustin. Big Bill, OC, Penta, Swerve as the Final Four. This has been a tremendous amount of fun so far.
10. Taz: “People ask why they call him Big Bill. Because his name is Bill and he’s very big.” Well, that’s direct. Who’s asking that though?
11. Bill gets another elimination by getting rid of Penta. Bill and Swerve last as allies for about eight seconds and Swerve HAMs it up. Swerve then gets the biggest elimination possible because Bill wanted the elimination himself or something. This was the final two match I didn’t know I needed. They take each other out and the crowd gives them some appreciation. On a weekend with possibly more wrestling per capita than ever before, it might take more than usual to get attention and enthusiasm, but they’re not disappointing.
12. Swerve forces OC’s hands in his pockets, and the crowd starts chanting “you fucked up.” That’s fantastic. Prince Nana gets involved as they fight on the apron, but Swerve kicks himself in the face with Orange Cassidy’s boots, and OC gets the win. Absolutely phenomenal (No AJ) battle royal win. He can barely stand. Many stories told throughout the match, the action was never dull, and Orange Cassidy remains the fighting champion. I would’ve bought Swerve being the one who finally took it off him. Oh goodie, more sports gambling ads that won’t be skipped like the weekly shows on FITE.
13. Chris Jericho and Adam Cole is going on already? I mean… I don’t know where else it would go, but it feels early for that level of starpower. This bout is like Play’Doh apparently, because anything goes.
14. Jericho has the JAS. Cole, Roddy, and Sabu all have chairs. Considering we had an angle that’ll have a match on this show where 4 on 3 was too dangerous to charge the ring, 5 on 3 being okay because of chairs doesn’t seem like much of an edge. And for now, it isn’t. We end up with a Chair-off between Jericho and Sabu. I appreciate that Sabu, as he did on Wednesday, still has his VIP pass around his neck. That’s good, you don’t want to lose that when you blend in so easily…
15. This is actually refreshing in a way, there’s no pretense of the fair match before the inevitable interference. It just starts out as a massive brawl. I like it.
16. Adam Cole and Chris Jericho finally face… off. Hey, they’re using hockey terms, so will I. But if you can’t throw a little Nic Cage in there too…
17. This just in… Hockey is, in fact, played on ice. I’m so glad they’re here to tell us. This whole show has felt like picture-in-picture commentary, and that’s not a bad thing for the most part. JR still has the good ol’ WWE hyperbole going, as he says that Jericho has never looked as good in his career as he does right now. It’s not that he looks bad now, but never? Not in 30-plus years? Really?
18. I’d be surprised that the heat from the crowd was so lacking, but with a match with these kinds of stipulations, it stands to reason. They’re waiting for the hardcore stuff to happen. AC is in the Walls and reaches for, and I quote Taz again, “a big-ass fire extinguisher.” I’m not sure what makes it any different than any others I’ve ever seen. Maybe it’s just Made in Britain.
19. Jericho sprays the fire extinguisher all over the ring like he’s an excited teenager, and then we finally start getting the other weapons. Sticking with the recent commentary, Jericho gets “Kendostick Jones.” Ohai Britt Baker, she’s got one of her own, and we get a little revenge. There’s the crowd waking up. She’s not pulling those shots either, damn. Saraya then tries to come in and NNNNNNNNOPE, she gets clobbered to fuck too. Who needs a 3-on-1 advantage when you can get a stick broken over your face all on your own?
20. It’s a match with weapons involved, there’s that “we want tables” chant that’s unfortunately inevitable, despite there already being several table spots. Cole gets knocked off the top rope through a table, and ooh shit that looked bad. The table didn’t seem to break his fall a whole lot, and that makes me very nervous, as does Jericho buying time. The action continues so I guess he’s okay, but especially since they’re mentioning his concussion problems, it’s just discomforting.
21. Jericho gets a steel chain, which gets a “you sick fuck” chant… for some reason. I guess John Cena really was the most hardcore wrestler in history. They get connected and it almost feels like a dog collar match for a minute. I didn’t expect this match to be short by any means, but it’s getting a lot of time for a slow burn build. Also, Sabu was supposedly the enforcer, but he’s been gone with everyone else since the opening of the match.
22. Cole beats the shit out of Jericho with the chain, and that gets the match… thrown out? What? It’s an unsanctioned match. I didn’t know it could end that way under those circumstances. Adam Cole wins. That felt anticlimactic, maybe a match with Jericho shouldn’t have been all over the arena to the outside of the building a very short time ago? The story they told was great, but it was weird.
23. The Triple J/FTR tag title match is next, oh joy. Sonjay’s suit jacket has the Carny Gang in overalls painted into the back, it’s gonna be tough to beat that level of HAM, especially on a PPV.
24. This still wasn’t the feud I was hoping for when FTR got the titles back, with Triple J and their infinite amount of title shots. That’s not to say moments of it haven’t been entertaining, because they have, but I still don’t care much about the match itself.
25. If the crowd noise is any indication, they care about this match about as much as I do. There’s definitely a lot of red. Not Winnipeg triple triple threat levels of red, but it’s spread about the ring area pretty consistently.
26. There’s a lot of shenanigans going on, including Karen screaming at people. Jeff Jarrett throws someone into Barry Barricade, so I’m hoping Simon is still enjoying himself there despite this continuous tragedy. JR gets to go old school again by calling Karen “Jezebel.” We’re playing all the greatest hits tonight.
27. The crowd and the commentators are taking more joy in yelling at Sonjay and Karen than the actual match, I think. Some guy was super excited to throw a double bird their way. As long as everybody’s having fun, I guess?
28. Dax does the diving headbutt to break up a submission, and that move still exists for some reason. That’s one of those that even the creator wished he could’ve disinvented. Dax finally gets the hard tag after a very, very, very long session of cheap heat.
29. Dax gets a nearfall but gets pulled out by Sonjay. Mark does a full on Hogan YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU and throws him out. Satnam gets sent away too. They’re pointing way, way, way too long, something’s gonna happen. Oh, there’s Jarrett, but snap, he accidentally hits Mark Briscoe. That’s even worse than a liquor mist piledriver! Despite seeing this happen right in front of him, they still try to go for the pin.
30. Aubrey runs out for the big pop, but Sonjay gets in her way. She shoves him away, but Karen hits freaking Aubrey with a guitar! Like she needed more heat, holy shit. You don’t fuck with Aubrey. Full on “fuck you, Karen” chant, which really woke this crowd up, so that’s something.
31. Mark has only been a ref for this long, but he’s still got the eternity of waking up skill down already. Jeff gets a nearfall out of it, and he goes HAM when it doesn’t work. Jarrett starts shoving Mark around, Mark finally hits him back, Big Rig, FTR wins. In the words of JR at WM27, “finally.”
32. Meanwhile, Ricky gets another interview, so how long before Juice and Jayva attack? About a sentence. Somehow he still doesn’t see this coming, so FTR coming back from their match end up making the save. You’d think he’d find a friend since Action Andretti did a disappear after the Jericho feud, but alas.
33. The ladder match is on next, and it won’t be surprising if Luchasaurus gets involved. Given the level of shenanigans this show already has had so far, it’s a near-guarantee. But before then, we get a “situation” with Jericho and Saraya. They’re both pissed and calling AC and Britt “barbarians” so I guess they trained with the Adem. They’re so pissed that they start throwing boxes with cards. Some security guy chastises them, so Jericho goes all wizard on him. That might’ve been more useful earlier when getting punched in the fuck with a chain, but okay.
34. Luchasaurus goes to the back while not-Evanesence is still playing, and that’s where he’s going to stay for absolute certain. Sleeveless turtlenecks rule!
35. I still miss Wardlow’s old entrance, but what can ya do? JR talks about the three-way ladder matches in some detail.
36. Wardlow is pretty dominant in the beginning, which is to be expected. Christian’s game comes out of utilizing advantages at the right time. The crowd should be happy though, we’ve already got multiple tables, and since Wardlow is setting them up, I’m guessing he’s the one going through them. Wardlow goes to the top turnbuckle and stands on it before Christian powders off them. That’ll be the mistake Christian takes control over. Wardlow takes a split decision through the ladder, uffda.
37. There’s a “turtleneck” chant, so this crowd really will chant anything.
38. Taz says that Christian is about 6’3, but I have my doubts. He continues to pick his spots in much the same way as he did nearly 25 years ago in all that history JR was discussing.
39. Ohai Luchasaurus, who saw you showing up? Will you be the proverbial Rhyno this year?
40. I can’t help but feel bad for Wardlow, at this event one year later in particular, after what should’ve been a rocket strapped to his back. He’s still working his way back to where he was at that point, and it’s sad. Not his fault either. He misses a senton and crashes on the ladder, that can’t feel good.
41. Arn has seen enough, and he’s got a glock so I presume that’s what he gave to Wardlow as a pep talk. Wardlow goes full Shelton Benjamin and hops onto the ladder, but it breaks. Oops. He tries to climb the broken ladder anyway, and the ref lets him know of his mistake. This causes Luchasaurus to come in for the multiple goozle. Arn comes in and his ever-so-subtle setup doesn’t work. Luchasaurus asks if Arn bites his thumb at him? Arn says yes, I do bite my thumb at you, sir. And thus, we have Shakespeare in the Arena.
42. Wardlow wastes a great deal of time climbing a ladder to take out someone who’s not even in the match, this won’t be a mistake. Wardlow stands on top with the refs holding it steady, and he goes full Jeff Hardy to take Luchasaurus out. Well, technically he was the one who went through the tables he set up.
43. There’s a lot of blood, but Wardlow wins. They’ve spread the brutality out across the card tonight.
44. I like the preview of the Toni/Jamie match, acknowledging that Britt and Jamie didn’t play fair at the time, and that’s what inspired Toni to turn to the side of winning with shenanigans.
45. The Mean Girls gestures still aren’t doing this angle any favors, but the match itself should still be good. I hope Jamie’s feeling healthy enough for this match. There’s a delay in her coming out, so maybe she isn’t. Something’s up. The music starts up again, but oh snap, the other two Mean Girls are taking her out. Saraya’s been busy tonight. Not Renee busy, but busier than usual.
46. They’re three-on-one working the shoulder and none of Jamie’s Originals allies are anywhere near the ring. I guess they shouldn’t have gotten rid of Skye, Riho, and Willow. Live and learn.
47. They ring the bell anyway, because referees see a three-on-one beatdown on an injured wrestler but they’ll take their word. This is what happens when Aubrey gets taken out by a Karen, everything falls apart.
48. There’s Britt, finally. I suppose she was still recovering from swinging that kendo stick so many times. Toni eats an uncovered turnbuckle but kicks out. Jamie then takes the spray paint to the eyes, which is like Mist powers but travel-ready. Shida then finally shows up as well, and it’s at least three-on-three now. Hayter continues selling her shoulder, and it prevents her from covering Toni after a Hayterade quickly.
49. After a few reversals, Jamie is nice enough to vault herself into the exposed turnbuckle. While this didn’t take out Toni two different times, Jamie has an injured shoulder, so a shot to the face pretty much ends it. Toni gets the title back, and thankfully for her sake, there’s no “interim” attached to it. Jamie loses nothing, working the match with an injury and taking all that she did in addition. Maybe the rematch will be at All In, that would make the most sense in terms of biggest potential pop.
50. More sports gambling shilling.
51. House of Black open challenge is next, and if it’s anyone besides the Acclaimed and Senior Ass, I’ll be very surprised. I don’t see them losing the titles though, nor do I want them to. I want this specialized gimmick match for the title defenses to continue for a long time. Julia continues to look like a fucking boss.
52. It’s not a surprise, but the pop is still huge. These guys are and remain so freaking over. We even get a Dominic reference thrown in there, and an extra verse. Not sure why you wouldn’t add a stipulation, that seems silly. You could’ve made it a rap battle, Max. Think it through.
53. They’re still talking about Julia’s difference since the Mist. Taz: That’s what happens sometimes when… that’s what happens. I guess that’s true.
54. We get a criss-cross applesauce scissoring staredown. JBLdammit I love wrestling.
55. They bring up that the announce table is at ringside for only the second time ever, and it is an interesting change. It also puts them much closer to the match, for better or worse.
56. Brody starts barking like he’s about to finish the Worm, and Bowens unfortunately learns that reaching the ropes in a submission move is irrelevant. You’d think they’d review those kinds of rules before accepting a match. The crowd starts singing their song, maybe the sound is just really off because it seems low despite how many audible chants there have been.
57. It’s weird for a match built up with so many rules aside that they pull the “face wants to come in but the ref won’t let them” but I guess on a show with so many beyond the rules matches, you can only have so much. I think Bowens is trying to be the face in peril longer than Cash was.
58. The fact that the special lighting turns everything in the crowd blue except for the one guy with a neon orange shirt is hilarious to me and I don’t know why.
59. Max and Senior Ass get knocked off the apron for the 24th time this match. Bowens might finally get to tag out, I think he passed Cash’s time, and he doesn’t have a Karen to worry about. It seems like he finally does but LOLNOPE. This doesn’t stop Billy from introducing Brody to Barry. Them five-letter B’s gotta stick together.
60. Now, finally, Billy gets to do what he’s done best in his career: get the hot tag. Even 25 years later, that part hasn’t changed. Brody comes in to chop him and we get a full on double bird with a “fuck you!” He must’ve been watching the crowd during the tag title match. But just as quickly, Senior Ass gets pinned, and House of Black retains. Max got to stand around a lot.
61. The video game preview gets a chant for itself. That’s a good sign. I think, I don’t know fuckall about games.
62. Now it’s time for Jade’s title defense against Taya, and given the lines that Jade was dropping about Kris, I’d be really surprised if she lost now. At least it won’t be because Taya forgot she couldn’t use her finisher. I’m sure Taya’s two dancers are a reference to something but I can’t figure it out at the moment. This particular weekend always exhausts me, even without the wrestling.
63. Jade also gets a custom entrance, but instead of two dancers, she gets six, as well as a live rap. I love that we continually get to see Jade’s daughter at ringside, especially given the stories about how that affected her career decisions. I didn’t realize her partner was Brandon Phillips, who I saw play in the minor leagues in Harrisburg once upon a time.
64. It’s hard to say whether this storyline/title reign has lost steam, or if it just hasn’t been booked like it’s important lately. This should feel like a much bigger deal than it is, but we rarely see her on Dynamite. Collision should help with that, obviously, but it’s still confusing.
65. Taya gets a few nearfalls, including with a curbstomp that looks nastier than the usual version we see of that move. Taya then lands her version of the Jaded, and it gets a super-close nearfall. Jade breaks up the next attempt with a kick that whiffs a bit. Jade’s version must be better because she gets the win. All right then, 60-0.
66. Mark Sterling takes the mic almost immediately, so thanks for coming Taya. This is in no way a setup for someone else to make the challenge. There’s nobody left, so that’s where it ends.
67. STATLANDER! Finally! This is where it was going before she got hurt, and we even get some ASL. Holy shit, we’re doing it now! That is what the challenge said! The pop is even more massive when they say that!
68. The kick connects this time, but Jaded gets reversed! Statlander wins! I thought that’s who was going to beat the streak for a long time, but to see it happen was such a boost of energy to what felt routine. This takes nothing away from Jade either, who already wrestled a match this evening and never lost in two years. Kris Statlander becomes the second-ever TBS champion.
69. They’re really gonna have the Four Pillars match before Anarchy in the Arena. I was hoping that would be the case, but I wasn’t expecting it. The BCC/Elite feud is by far the best buildup for any match on the show. This likely also indicates that nobody’s taking the title off him. They’d save that for the main event. Is this where Jungle Jack turns?
70. Welcome back, Cue Card gimmick. Big news for the couple, and we get Face PDA out of it rather than Heel PDA, which is a thing I just wrote. Good for them.
71. We then get a skit with Darby pulling a Graduate and interrupting a wedding with someone with an MJF mask on and an Elvis impersonator officiant because Vegas. You’ve gotta help me get rid of the body, King. Wouldn’t be the first time. Well played, AEW, I thought the HAM would be unreachable, but we’ve got another contender.
72. The Darby Tonk Man is also decked in white, along with recently-face Sammy. Jungle Jack gives no shits. Foreshadowing?
73. Orchestral version of MJF’s theme, almost Two Steps From Hell-ish vibes. He brings back the Devil gimmick along with a sinking throne. He walks to the ring with Devil Worshippers reaching out to him like it’s Undertaker’s entrance at WrestleMania 29, minus the fog. But ol’ Colonel Mustard won’t be denied.
74. MJF tries pulling his usual schtick, but at least temporarily, the 3-on-1 vibes prevent too much stalling by the Yellow card (no Ocean Avenue.) This will probably last about 15 seconds before someone gets annoyed with the other and things devolve.
75. MJF does a rope run, a strut, and then a Val Venis circa 1999 taunt. The commentators apologize for having to see that. They’re on tonight, despite how weird it’s been at times.
76. Now we get dives. Many dives, massive dives, shooting star dives. Somehow it makes it better that it’s complete with a landing into Statlander’s confetti.
77. MJF sells walking into a suplex in a way that would make 2005 HBK proud, except it isn’t disingenuous. These four were ready to work together and make their mark, and despite a lot of hiccups in the buildup, there was no doubt that the match itself would be great.
78. MJF using some of those little touches you usually only hear at an indy show when you’re close enough to hear. “No no, wait!” before he’s clotheslined into the corner, followed by a “what the fuck” before he takes another move. That’s brilliant old school heelery right there.
79. We get another Eddie Guerrero tribute, and I don’t suspect it’ll be the last. I’ll take those over those certain Harley Race tributes I mentioned earlier 10 times out of 10.
80. They’ve got some sweary mouths tonight, don’t they? I’m not complaining about it, only merely observing the relatively frequent occurrences. MJF with a “you’re a fucking idiot.” The action keeps picking up, and the AEW chants demonstrate the enjoyment of the fans. All four of them utilize a move of their mentors, including Cody Rhodes being mentioned by name. I love when wrestling doesn’t pretend we all have goldfish memories.
81. MJF grabs the mic and decides to cut the promo midmatch. I love it, he appeals to Sammy’s recent big news as a reason to get the big check money. Sammy seems to be accepting it, complete with Taz saying “kids cost a lot of money.” It’s a ruse though, as Sammy nearly steals one. MJF presses the steal finisher button, but can’t quite pull it off. This is so much fun.
82. MJF and Darby get dueling submission moves going, and MJF almost taps, but Jungle Jack stops him from doing so. Brilliant little touch that makes so much sense as well as being funny. It then devolves into a four-way submission hold. Either that or it’s the world’s hottest game of Twister. Who needs a rest hold when ya can get a good snuggle in there?
83. This segment of the match brought to you by Petey Williams, thank you for the Canadian Destroyer once again. Four in a row, might not be a record but it feels like it should be.
84. A Spanish Fly into two other people? That’s a new way to do a Tope, I’ll give you that.
85. Now all four of them just start taking turns punching each other. Jack stands up after taking one, but he has a piece of confetti on his forehead which makes it funny. MJF does a triple eyepoke which leads to a triple superkick. This is brilliantly put together. Talk about chapters of the match! And what a time for the fucking feed to go out.
86. Nobody will be seated during the roll-up portion of the match.
87. There I go worrying about people again, it looked like Jack took an Implant DDT right on the head.
88. Darby goes for the Coffin Drop, but ope, he’s done it now, he’s gone and made a big mistake. MJF does a Chris Candido top rope powerbomb, but it seems like he screws up his arm in the process. Unless that too was a Cody Rhodes tribute so he’ll get a bionic elbow out of it? This seems like an odd time to plug an unrelated match for Dynamite, but what can ya do?
89. MJF was selling as a bait and switch, but gets clocked by a skateboard before he can use the ring. Darby gets a nearfall with the Headlock Takeover, but Jack ruins it. Darby and Jack have a tiff and they punch each other out. Jack stops MJF from using the title belt, but now he has it. He stares at it, contemplating whether or not he’s going to use it. Odd, considering Darby used a skateboard earlier, but it’s continuing the angle.
90. Sammy hits the GTH on Jack, but Darby throws him off the top rope. MJF drops the title on JB so the Coffin Drop hurts him more. This leads to MJF sneaking the win. What an absolute blast this match was. The moves were there, the overall story was there, the stories within the match were there. Excellent, so well done.
91. MJF calls himself the Best in the World and wonders when he’ll get competition. Foreshadowing. Where’s Mark Henry when you need him, because it’s time for the main event.
92. Even the Dapper Yapper is throwing some blue language tonight, “shit’s about to hit the fan.” We get the first full Elite entrance with the Kansas theme, what a sweet moment it is to see that.
93. For the BCC, we get a live performance of “Wild Thing” by the Violent Idols. This is familiar, the match starts and “Wild Thing” continues to play, except this time it’s live. What a great touch. Would’ve been cool to see X perform it, but that’s all right. The song ends, and they start it over again. I guess they learned from the Wedding Singer.
94. Bryan Danielson sees Christian’s sleeveless turtleneck and raises him a sleeveless hoodie. Hangman then peels off the bad-ass eyepatch. So Anarchy. Much Arena. Wow.
95. The commentators then realize the band is still playing. One of them says “what a great music this is.” They’re the gift that keeps on giving tonight. I think sometimes a match should have a soundtrack, that’s not a bad thing.
96. Violent Idols start over again just as the Elite have their reunion spot, followed by a four-way simultaneous dive. The match starts heading up the ramp, so I have a feeling the performance may be affected. The lead singer shows his BCC shirt while the Young Bucks stare him down. Superkick party to the singer, that must’ve been a blast for him. Best end to an extended version of a song.
97. Jon Moxley is bleeding in a match, so I’ll give everyone a moment to be surprised by this rare occurrence.
98. Don Callis is commentating and noting that Omega is missing guidance. A twist on the way, mayhaps?
99. We’ve got a poker chip in barbed wire. Because, well, why wouldn’t you? We’ve also got a fight in the concessions.
100. It’s Abdullah time, Mox has got a fork and Claudio’s got a swing in the concourse. This is anarchy in the arena, but are we headed out of the arena? Does that still count?
101. So much is happening, it’s impossible for even the broadcast to keep up. Mox suddenly ended up in the barbed wire chip, so he didn’t know when to fold ’em. We do at least get to see what happened on the replay. It’s not a complaint, just an acknowledgement of what happens when you have four different fights going on simultaneously.
102. Don justifies the forehead cut he got being Omega’s fault by saying he was there because of Kenny. Don never stops working, gotta love it.
103. Uh oh, that neon green rope is back! That can’t be good news for anyone.
104. We have officially gone outside with Claudio and Matt, and Matt gets tossed into a pickup truck. It’s now Anarchy Inside and Out of the Arena. There’s a piledriver in the truck but no ref with them. They now realize that the BCC isn’t trying to win but inflict damage. It’s almost like that’s their gimmick or something.
105. Nick gets tossed off the stage, leaving Mox, Yuta, and Danielson to work over Hangman and Kenny. Hangman gets a Deadeye in, but then Yuta absolutely wrecks him with a leafblower, which is a thing that just happened.
106. More surly language, Kenny tries to break a submission Mox has in, and gets told to “fuck off.” Again, not complaining about that either, just noticing its higher-than-usual regularity.
107. Matt finds his way back to the ring, and talk about an Exploding Superkick. What on earth was that? Other than a clever way to get Mox to break the hold?
108. Hangman gets a nearfall on Yuta, but either he kicks out of the Buckshot or Claudio broke it up. Not sure which.
109. Everyone suddenly starts booing and I’m not sure why. Hangman gets a bag of tacks, because the glass last time just worked too effectively. The exploding kick foot goes into the tacks, so it got defused in the end. The amount happening in this match is unreal, and as good as the Pillars match was, this was the right choice for the main event.
110. Thumbtacks in the mouth and a Claudio uppercut. This is unreal.
111. Kenny and Hangman have a spot where they stare each other down and hype themselves up. Nice acknowledgment of how far they’ve come. Danielson nearly takes the fall from the One-Winged Angel, but Yuta breaks it up. Wow.
112. Even the announcers say they’ve seen some shit. Everyone gets a turn tonight.
113. Yuta gets almost a throwback to his Mox/Regal moment as he tries to take on Omega and Hangman himself. This makes Callis throw down his headset though, and here comes something. I think he handed Yuta a screwdriver. Callis gets in the ring but gets caught by Omega. Someone comes in the ring and takes out Omega. Takeshita! I figured this might happen but what a great reveal even still.
114. A match that chaotic ends in a seatbelt pin, but who cares? Takeshita must’ve remembered who his prior mentor was as well as his new one. They both bled with them, which is how it works, I think. Callis starts strangling Omega with a belt. If only there was someone who could come in and even the odds again to make it 5 on 5… Another old friend, perhaps…
115. What a great show to take us into the summer. Some of the undercard dragged a bit, the Adam Cole match ended weirdly. We had a huge return and a surprise win. A few title changes, a big turn in the main event of absolute carnage, the Pillars showed out. AEW knows how to do a PPV, and this takes into Forbidden Door, All In, and All Out, not to mention Collision, with potential for new and continued stories alike.
1/4/23 – The Gunns
1/11/23 – Daddy Magic
1/13/23 – Danhausen
1/18/23 – Sonjay Dutt
1/20/23 – Stokely Hathaway
1/25/23 – Tony Schiavone
1/27/23 – Danhausen
2/1/23 – Jade Cargill
2/3/23 – Ethan Page
2/8/23 – MJF
2/10/23 – STIIIIIIING
2/15/23 – Ruby Soho
2/17/23 – Dustin Rhodes
2/22/23 – Chris Jericho
2/24/23 – Matt Hardy
3/1/23 – Big Bill
3/3/23 – Jungle Boy
3/5/23 – MJF
3/8/23 – Anthony Bowens
3/10/23 – Riho
3/15/23 – MJF/Darby Allin/Jungle Boy/Sammy Guevara
3/22/23 – STIIIIIING
3/29/23 – Juice Robinson
3/31/23 – Eddie Kingston
4/5/23 – MJF
4/7/23 – Darby Allin/Julia Hart
4/12/23 – STIIIIIIIIING
4/14/23 – 2.0/Biff Hager
4/19/23 – Sammy Guevara
4/26/23 – MJF
5/3/23 – Triple J/Mark Briscoe
5/5/23 – The Firm Deletion – All of it
5/10/23 – Chuck Taylor and Trent Baretta
5/17/23 – Toni Storm
5/24/23 – Jay White
5/28/23 – Darby Allin
Toss up between Sonjay and Darby. I think I have to give it to Darby because he did a Wayne Campbell with Elvis involved, and you can’t teach that.