IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #474
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Thoughts on AEW: Collision LIVE – August 31st, 2024
1. Only two things can make me go to South Dakota on purpose. One is traveling less than I do the other half of the year to watch a live show. The other… isn’t. Until the last five minutes of Rampage last night, there wasn’t a single match announced, which is certainly a decision. I’m excited to see several wrestlers for the first time live, including Queen Aminata, Hologram, KOR, and the Beast Mortos. I love AEW’s recent strategy of hitting smaller cities, especially for Collision, and while I doubt this is going to draw a huge crowd, it can’t be worse than that time Smackdown ran Grand Forks in the early aughts, right? Because I’ve had people ask me to do this when I’m going live before (and this likely won’t be the last time this year), I’m posting this first thought early; if you’re also going and want to say hi, email me at the link above.
2. Well, now I’m here and South Dakota, it sure is. First time I came to Dynamite, we walked in at a time earlier than on the card and several matches had already happened. I wasn’t a particularly big watcher of Dark and Elevation, but it was fun to be there for it.
3. I’m in the fifth row of the lower bowl, and even after Ticketmaster doubled the price with their damn fees. Last time I sat this close was when Batista did the thumbs down to Triple H. I was in the sixth row for that one. I only ever sat on the floor once and… that was enough.
4. This is my fourth AEW show. The previous three have all been Dynamites. First time seeing a Collision live, and I know it’s the less-watched of the two. But often, I think Collision has been more enjoyable to watch more often than not.
5. I like to look for random older/outdated wrestling shirts in these crowds. Not to mock them, but because I appreciate them. Akin to going to another sport and looking for random outdated jerseys. Just saw a Dean Ambrose explicit content one in gray.
6. Holy shit, the sound is loud. It’s just the opening previews!
7. Vintage ECW shirt sighting. Or one that’s supposed to look vintage.
8. Seeing Ring of Honor in an arena with video screens and smooth technology… I don’t know, it just feels like a betrayal somehow.
9. First team out with no entrance must be locals, because they got a pop from some people. They’re facing the Gates of Agony, so… this won’t last long. One of the locals looks like Jeff Hardy trying to be minimal effort Raven.
10. The Gates of Agony are getting crowd cheers. I think people are just happy the show is here, which is better than the completely silent first-time-here crowds, not judging at all. Anyway, GoA win. I’ll give you a moment to get over the shock.
11. Brandon Cutler comes out next and mispronounces the city. He was sent here in Fargo season two as punishment to our species, wasn’t he?
12. Preston Vance is the interrupting babyface? Why is he face? Did Rush hit the Negative One regret out of his soul?
13. Random shirt sighting: Maul is War in the old attitude era logo. Or is it Paul is War? I can’t tell. Either way, I don’t get it.
14. This crowd showed up to be vocal, gotta give them credit.
15. Preston Vance wins after a discus lariat and a “let’s go Preston!” chant. Sorry, it’s been almost two years since my first AEW show where you made a child cry, and I haven’t forgiven you. Too soon.
16. It’s a show I’m at, so there is a Brian Cage match before the show. He got a pop too. Sioux Falls just loves everyone, except Brandon Cutler because he didn’t leave the X silent in the city name. The nerve of that guy.
17. Enhancement talent actually getting in some shots here. He had a pretty nice uranage near-fall too.
18. After a match with a discus lariat finish, this one had Cage use it to set up a submission finisher. Cage wins again, as he usually does when I’ve seen him live.
19. A lady enhancement talent is in the ring. Please be Athena. Please be Athena.
20. It’s Rachael Ellering, and her theme sounds like it’s opening for Good Charlotte tomorrow night, so that’s a thing.
21. Ellering has some hugger Bayley energy. Her opponent is a future HAM contender with those facial expressions if she keeps them up.
22. Ellering wins with a Black Hole Slam-type move. I adore her already.
23. Johnny Hungee’s enhancement match is next, so it’s nice to see that someone from the Dark Order wins on occasion. Though to be fair, I could say that about most of the competitors so far tonight.
24. Johnny Hungee won with a pop, because the other guy had the nerve to flex three times instead of twice. How. Dare. He.
25. Random shirt sighting: Early days Rated-R Superstar of the Edge variety.
26. On commentary, we’ve got Nigel and Tony! Almost time to go live.
27. I don’t know what this music is, but I already miss what it was before this.
28. Collision opening strong with the Conglomerators Conglomerating, Hologram is there to compete with Kyle O’Reilly over whoever is more sweet and wholesome.
29. Conglomeration against today’s random Amalgamation of… Mortos, Lee Moriarity, and Johnny TV. It’s just nice to see Shane Taylor in person for the first time since 2009.
30. Hologram and Lee Moriarty: the in-ring pairing I didn’t know I needed until just now.
31. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a five person resthold spot before. And damn autocorrect is out of control. But this is fun.
32. Johnny and Taya make out for heat, but it doesn’t work as well without Sammy and his punchable face.
33. Hologram nearly got a Monty Brown experience from springboarding with assistance into a demon monster doing a ram. Better than a RamJam, but still pretty devastating.
34. This is pure fun, and more importantly, all the kids here seem to be having a great time with this cast of colorful characters in this match.
35. Hologram wins the match after another clever pinning combo. I hope this came off well on tv (yes Johnny) because it was a delight here.
36. I guess this building isn’t even cleared for fake audio pyro, but damn BCG’s entrance is even cooler in person. They’re facing the Premier Athletes, so here’s a second straight trios match that should be fun but has an obvious ending. But hey. I guess since there’s Premier in this building name, they had to get them in somehow.
37. Juice is being a gremlin as usual, but he’s a face gremlin now so he’s being a HAM by using his powers for good. Which isn’t much different as long as you don’t feed him after midnight.
38. Even my hard of hearing self can make out everything Juice is yelling and I appreciate that.
39. The Juniors Ass get the win after the 3:10, and they sold it even more than the person taking it. HAM Club, up! But where is Cardblade? Their powers are diminished without their most powerful entity.
40. I ship Mercedes and Okada, their segments are so damn precious.
41. Hit me with that sweet synth, FTR theme. But shit, this means I have to watch another Undisputed Kingdom match. Bittersweet symphony.
42. Where the hell is Wardlow? Did that mean stare from Adam Cole totally not thinking of kicking his face really scare him away that bad? Is he on a milk carton with Ricky Starks?
43. Remember when these guys were SUCH A THREAT that BCG and the Acclaimed had to unify in order to even potentially survive a company with them in it? No, but I’m still holding a candle for the Firm. It’ll work someday when they meet up with the Corre.
44. Stereo multiple German suplexes, that was awesome. I’m just wondering when GYVs get involved.
45. FTR wins, GYV attack. Some guy with a Hi Mom and Dad sign is trying to get it on tv and is getting mad about not succeeding. GYV have serious heat with this crowd, and that’s saying something considering how much they like everyone.
46. Iron Savages and the Outrunners getting a non-entrance. What is this, a Zero Hour?
47. Ohai Lance Archer, thanks for scaring the security we just hired after Mox frightened them on Wednesday.
48. I love the freaking Outrunners. More of them please.
49. Top Flight in their new dancer uniforms. Four person group, now seeming to get along just fine after initial tension. I was surprised at the limited reaction for the Martins but then I remembered we’re not up at home in Minneapolis.
50. Oh this is another multiperson match with an obvious ending. All right. Not like there’s a PPV coming up to add matches to or anything…
51. Airplane spins. Look at the time, 1983 already. Those are no fun, probably right up there with the Claudio swing.
52. Top Flight does a quadruple suplex (stop trying to make duplex happen, phone. It’s not going to happen), so I guess they’re ready for liftoff… I know, I’ll see myself out.
53. This show has Sunday Night Heat energy. Not a bad thing necessarily, but something that might impact next Saturday would be nice.
54. Ah, the women’s four way will be for who gets to lose to Mercedes. That is something. More Queen, please. She’s amazing.
55. Kyle Fletcher is next to get forearmed in the fuck by Ishii but likely ultimately win. I really hope this means we’ll see Ospreay and PAC, but I’m not holding my breath.
56. This crowd is making me feel like I’m back at home in Cleveland, both because they’re all barking for one side, and because that side will inevitably lose at the very end.
57. Ishii (not Ohio, autocorrect) makes KF look freaking huge.
58. Vintage shirt sighting: either original NWO, or classic remake of the NWO shirt.
59. Kyle Fletcher is getting a mixed reaction, but I expect him to be really over soon. Oh, now he’s shushing the crowd after playing to them a few minutes ago. Whatever works, KF.
60. Kyle’s hair has gotten so moppy that Perry Saturn is trying to date it.
61. That turnbuckle buster Kyle did just got the most lethargic holy shit chant I’ve ever heard, I assume from the Orange Cassidy cosplayer contingent.
62. This match is really, really good and the crowd is super into it. It’s a match between two people who usually have great matches but lose, so something’s gotta give.
63. Kyle Fletcher gets the win, both are collapsed after the match. Best match of the night so far and it isn’t even close.
64. Post-match handshake, Don Callis, and… no shenanigans. I don’t even know you anymore, Collision.
65. Random shirt sighting: Jesse Ventura, on a couple kids young enough that they don’t remember his tv show, let alone his gubernatorial session.
66. PAC is not content. In other news, he also didn’t care for Enzo.
67. House of Black entrance, but it’s a Buddy Matthews singles match. We’re really getting all the usual good match (but lost) Dynamite people on the show.
68. And he’s facing Komander. So, like I said.
69. Lot of barking tonight. Feels about Cleveland as said before, only I won’t be depressed later. Maybe.
70. The kid behind me is stomping right near my ear, so my battery is running out quickly.
71. Buddy Matthews wins. Brody comes down to be almost as surly as PAC. I don’t know if I’ll make it through the main event tonight, I’m getting a headache.
72. MxM is here but they won’t be out here until next week. I protest this, we deserve this HAM in person. All the same, HAM over, MxM wins.
73. Oh, Buddy said “it’s your funeral.” I wasn’t expecting a last word there.
74. The ring announcer keeps asking the crowd for signs, but it’s the same eight every time. She’s trying to do crowd work, and she’s doing her best.
75. 15 minutes from the main event? It can’t be that far away or it will be very short.
76. Nyla’s gonna be here to make another new women’s champion look good, but not tonight.
77. I can’t wait to see the star that Queen becomes.
78. They went back to the other Thunder Rosa theme? Goodness, it’s like Collision’s inability to decide their theme.
79. I’m sure this will be great, but I’ve reached my limit. I can’t take any more stomps, my ears are too sensitive. This show was fun but the card was really… thin. No wonder they didn’t announce anything until last night. Most of the people the crowd wanted to see appeared in video packages. It was still really fun and the crowd got into everything, so it was not a wasted three hour drive.
