IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #478
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Thoughts on AEW Collision LIVE
1. Greetings from this building that is allegedly an arena and not a hotel ballroom rented out. At least I’m considerably closer than I was in the wide-ass Tacoma Dome.
2. Much like the last Collision I attended in August, no matches were announced until the day before, so that’s fun. They’ve gotten significantly better at promoting upcoming shows as of late though. This card looks like it could be fun, though I hope the BCC continue to wreak havoc across both shows like last week. If nothing else, Lio and Ricochet in the main event will be fun. And Outrunners/MXM likely wins the HAM by default. We’ll see what they’ve got prepared for what I’m told is a city, Cedar Rapids.
3. This time, in addition to the “Woo”s that have been pervasive before every wrestling show I’ve ever been to, now “yeet” is a thing, so… okay then.
4. Vintage shirt sighting: Macho Man, though that purple shirt with the glasses will always make me think of the late Larry Sweeney foremost.
5. A full recap of All In is definitely a thing, but there was also a Toni Storm commercial, which is probably the closest I’ll get to seeing her tonight.
6. Preston Vance is teaming with Peter Avalon now? All right, so that’s a thing.
7. They’re going against BEEF and JD Drake, so I guess the tension from Rampage is gone.
8. This is fun and the crowd seems involved, so that’s good. The BEEF chants are prevalent at least.
9. This match is longer than every ROH match in Sioux Falls combined, I’d estimate.
10. Team HorseBEEF get the win. Nothing particularly notable, but it was a fun match to warm up the crowd.
11. I’m guessing the Already in the Ring is local because a lot of people seem to recognize him. We get him facing Johnny TV sans Taya, what a ripoff.
12. Vintage t-shirt sighting: Jack Swagger, we the people.
13. The local wrestler is named Iceberg, so I’m hoping his finisher is called Right Ahead.
14. Johnny wins with the Starship Pain, but Iceberg got in way more offense than I thought he would. Good for him.
15. Aaron Solo is out for a pure rules match. They announced more ROH matches after Collision, including a huge main event. So huge they didn’t bother saying what it was. I’ll try to make it to the end of Collision.
16. Matt Taven getting a considerable face pop. The power of Adam Cole’s association is strong.
17. Is it against pure rules to swear? Asking for an Aaron.
18. This is a damn good crowd, I’m really impressed. I hope it enhances the Collision atmosphere when we go live.
19. Solo taps after a top rope counter goes wrong. But Taven saved it nicely. Lee Moriarty comes out at the top of the stage. An ROH champion on actual ROH, that’s nice to see.
20. The fan code of conduct does not incorporate the Oxford comma.
21. The Orange Cassidy post-death stare Dynamite ending is recapped. I have never seen him freak out like this. Wow.
22. Switchblade vs Shane Taylor is up first, but Gremlin Mode is in the building, and if you don’t start off the show with the live embodiment of the Honeycomb Mascot, what are you even doing?
23. Shane Taylor is very angry and yelly. Sometimes the familiar things are great. The kids yelling behind me are so much fun. Oh, if only to not be so jaded.
24. Shane is getting heat with Ohio State chants, referencing the ass-whooping they did to the Hawkeyes a few weeks ago. Much like most of my life; and the last time I talked to Shane Taylor in person, we are alone here in being Ohio State football fans. I mean, OSU did let the Hawkeyes score a touchdown, that brought it within like 28, so that was a little embarrassing.
25. Jay White gets the win, to the shock of literally no one who has seen one (1) Collision, but it was fun and the crowd loved every minute of it.
26. Very breathy post-match promo. Vintage shirt sighting: OG Austin 3:16.
27. Both Switchblade and Juice go out of their way to give a young fan at ringside a fun memory. Ricochet is doing an interview on screen, so he’s about to be interrupted.
28. Corn is here. Corn is always interesting.
29. Kyle Fletcher broke up with Moppy and now has a shaved head. I am disappointed in you, Kyle,
30. Penelope Ford is up next, and I’m just hoping that means Jamie Hayter is also nearby.
31. She’s facing Robyn Renegade, so we know how this one is going. I’d say the women’s division is pretty much fully stocked now, not so the number of matches on Dynamite and recent PPVs would reflect that…
32. Penelope did a Matrix and followed it up with a neckbreaker, that was really impressive.
33. Penelope gets the win in a really good return showing for her. Jamie Hayter is here… on the screen. You teases.
34. Outrunners and FTR are on the screen, but at least they’re also actually here. We have entered the HAM portion of the evening.
35. This is a JBLdamn delight and I don’t care who hates it. It’s over as hell, even in Iowa.
36. Team Jazz Cup Pants against Team Jazz Cup Tips. I am loving every delicious HAMMY second of it.
37. Nigel doesn’t even have the courtesy to interview Yuta in the ring? Come on, we know Nigel is there, I can see him! I really like that Nigel is almost going “nobody gets to destroy Bryan Danielson but me! How dare you?!”
38. That was phenomenal and I really hope it means Nigel has been pushed to the point of getting involved. What a great turn of events that would be. Also, anyone else mumbling “the greater good” in response to BCC saying it?
39. TK said he can’t wait to come back here again. It’s not nice to lie like that.
40. Ricochet against Lio Rush, that means I don’t have to leave during this match if I go before the end. Hell freaking yes.
41. What a reaction for Ricochet, I’m so glad he’s getting the flowers he deserves.
42. Somehow right behind me is the guy who has to be extra loud about cheering for all the heels yet again. There’s always one.
43. Ricochet hit a rising knee strike that was Deebo worthy. Damn!
44. The Professional Contrarian is specifically doing it to argue against a child. Lovely.
45. These two are wrestling like they know it’s Collision and there’s gonna be another chance soon. Which is still good, but also…
46. Ricochet wins and damn did Lio take a shot. Very good match.
47. Sign in the floor seats: Anna Jay has not improved. Um… which Anna Jay have you been watching?
48. I was wrong. Harley Cameron painting her face and having a little more fun than television would allow to indicate takes the HAM.
49. Thunder Rosa is also only here on screen I think.
50. Why is Undisputed bringing Beast Mortos a gift basket? Don’t they know Jess Mariano is just going to outbid them to be a troll?
51. Bennett dressed up like Mortos and is barking. This show is full of HAM.
52. Anna Jay is facing Viva Van next. So it turns out you can have two women’s matches on a two hour show, who knew? They also said the ROH main event will be a Ring of Horrors match but they didn’t say who. Athena and… I’m guessing ABADON, which… dammit, I’m not gonna make it that long. I absolutely adore ABADON, dammit.
53. At least she’s not Anna JAS anymore.
54. Sitting amongst some wrestling fans makes me fondly remember the days when my friend Brian’s mom got a suite for every show in Hershey and it was only us in there for several years.
55. Anna wins. It was perfectly fine. Mariah also appears on screen. I’m sure it’s enough for Nigel at least.
56. Now Adam Cole has a vignette previewing the match with Buddy. It’s nice to see how many things are happening, even though most of them are not tonight.
57. Kyle and Ishii on screen. Because of course. SLC and that crowd didn’t deserve that return.
58. I’m gonna call it here, though I’m sure the main event will be excellent. This was a really fun show and a surprisingly excellent crowd (with a few notable exceptions.) AEW isn’t normally this HAMmatically consistent, but I enjoyed that immensely.
