IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #481 – Thoughts on AEW: Revolution 2025
1. Someone in the crowd is dressed like Upgrayedd, with two D’s for a double dose of this pimpin’ ain’t easy.
2. That was more fun than watching anything involving Chris Jericho, but still better than watching the Costco guys do anything. Bless those of y’all who find those guys entertaining, but I don’t get it.
3. I forgot, the match involving the aforementioned bulk store aficionados also has MxM, Jonathan Television, OC, and Briscoe. Oh, and everyone’s favorite special effect, the fake pyro. I’ll find something else to do until the show goes on.
4. I have no idea what all that was or who those people are, and that’s okay. I’m out of touch by choice. Hopefully there’s nothing like that on the actual PPV.
5. It’s hard to be upset to hear the original Hangman theme, it’s not its fault that Black Hat is so JBLdamn good. Whoops, it’s a Max swerve.
6. The feed has cut twice already and we’re not even through the intro. Get this shit together, Triller.
7. I don’t have extremely strong opinions about either of these guys either way, but I have really enjoyed the way they’ve built this feud. I enjoy Hangman’s current gimmick a lot more than the “Aw Shucks, guys” vibe of a few years ago, so I hope this isn’t totally reverting to that. MJF is… being MJF, just name the target and apply the MJFness.
8. MJF must’ve been doing the Time Warp recently, because he learned it’s the pelvic thrust that really drives you all insayayayane. I don’t think Hangman is impressed with the 50th anniversary reference.
9. Hangman gets a nearfall with a Buckshot, and the upcoming rope break is so obvious they might as well call it before he even reaches for them. But there’s something really awkward about the phrase “got his clock cleaned.” Maybe it’s the double-CL, I don’t know.
10. Are they going to shenan? Is it possible for an MJF match to not shenan?
11. So many Buckshot attempts, but it’s actually rather refreshing to see someone trying to hit their finishing moves as many times as possible. It makes logical sense, though just doing the same move three times in a row unprompted, not so much. Here it works as a strategy, and Max countering it on another attempt is a good follow-up to a successful one earlier.
12. MJF does a little Halftime Heat by talking some shit on the headset, and we’ve also got our first F-bomb of the evening. Meanwhile, Christian Cage lurks somewhere marginally out of sight, preparing to be a role model yet again sometime soon.
13. What in the shiny blue pilgrim fuck was that? A moonsault that was countered into a tombstone on a chair, so I imagine we’re headed for a 9-almost-10 count from Bryce. Holy shit, who saw that coming?
14. We’ve got the Angel’s Wings involved here too, as a tribute to accidentally getting caught gigging after an attack. Then… Hangman just wins with another Buckshot. That felt oddly anti-climatic? And minimal shenans, let alone shenanigans. Okay then.
15. On the replay of that Angel’s Wings, that looked like a nasty landing for Max. Yikes.
16. It’s a sign of how stacked this card is that Mercedes/Momo is the second, but it’s also pretty indicative that Mercedes is winning… again.
17. Triller cut out again, for fuck’s sake…
18. Nigel has to walk home tonight? Get that man and his tartan a ride!
19. This match isn’t bad or anything so far, it just feels like it hasn’t clicked into the next gear yet.
20. Momo reversing the 3 Amigos into her own. Nice to see her getting some offense in. It’s felt oddly one-sided, even if it isn’t.
21. Loved the counter into the crossface chickenwing, though they were talking about baseball for some reason. Though them saying this could be a star-making performance for Momo… Yeah, pretty sure she already is one.
22. Crowd is really into it. I don’t know why it feels so awkward.
23. Damn, Mercedes taking those stiff face kicks, and made a comment of some kind in the process. Very glad they’re getting extended time regardless.
24. Momo taps, Mercedes wins again. Okay then.
25. Swerve/Ricochet is next, and I really, really, really do not want to see Swerve lose another match. That’s been happening way too much in the last half-year. I’m glad Ricochet’s been getting his shine, and I’ve enjoyed this feud a lot, but Swerve’s lost too much. Outside of that awkward promo on Wednesday where he seemed to be uncharacteristically struggling with delivery, it’s been quite good.
26. Ricochet modified the robe, how dare.
27. Okay, I have to admit, when I thought there might be a Swerve special entrance, what I was not expecting was… drum solo? Then he’s playing it with the theme, but at least at first, the tempo is too fast. Swerve looks badass as hell though, no denying that.
28. I feel like Swerve’s look is a reference to something, but I likely wouldn’t be the one to know.
29. Those “bald” chants have gotten a lot more aggressive.
30. There’s a lot of white attire in this segment, are we expecting some blood? I feel like we’re expecting some blood tonight. Outside of Mox, who bleeds when there’s a match merely booked in theory.
31. Nana left? And threw up a bird? What? Leslie Jones is really pissed. What the hell just happened?
32. Love the shot that allows us to both see and hear Leslie Jones screaming at the match.
33. Okay, this match feels like it’s fully hitting. Like I said, the first two weren’t bad, but something was missing. At least for me, I might be the only one who got that impression.
34. This is one of at least half the matches on the card that theoretically could’ve been the main event, and they’re wrestling like it is. Well done. Did Nana really bail? Is he turning? What the hell was that all about?
35. Goodness gracious, the hurricanrana counter on the apron looked sick. Dorkochet is a perfect foil character for Swerve’s perpetual seriousness, and what a great dynamic they’ve made out of it.
36. Alas, they’ve done so much already, but now they have become the table as well with Swerve hitting a Copkilla.
37. The lowblow doesn’t work… for once. That’s a nice change. There have been about 58 too many of those this year, it’s good that someone eventually learned.
38. 630 gets a nearfall for Mr. O’Shea, Nana’s suddenly back and takes the robe. This gets him launched with a vaulting O’Chet, and then Swerve nearly lands on his damn head. That was almost a fucking disaster.
39. Ricochet continues wrestling in the robe, which is impressive in and of itself. Swerve gets another dramatic kickout, and this match is truly clicking. Where is that smoke coming from? Did RVD stop by to watch?
40. Nana gets crunched, despite best efforts. Is this the impetus for Nana’s heel turn? Who knows? But Ricochet kicks out of the House Call. Damn this is good.
41. Swerve finally wins after the Big Pressure. About time he won a big match, and Leslie Jones approves. Fantastic match, and Swerve gets to wrestle for the belt at Dynasty.
42. Nana gets the robe back, and at least Swerve facing Mox for the “soul of AEW” makes more sense than Copeland. I can’t with the shortened name. I just can’t.
43. Brody King’s title shot against Okada is next, but since they’ve telegraphed the All In match, I doubt we’ll see a change here.
44. To the surprise of nobody, unless you’ve never seen either of these guys before, there are some stiff shots happening here. What a perfect change of pace from the last one. I do wish Okada was more of a regular presence on the actual show, but he’s always a delight when he is.
45. The lariats, mahgawd!
46. Now that a Phelous reference has been brought into this, the match can truly hit third gear.
47. I love that Brody’s cannonball into the corner is called Cannonball Run, I just hope nobody needs a doctor. Yes, they do occasionally make references so old that even I get them.
48. Nobody’s facial expressions are better than Okada’s.
49. Okada wins to the surprise of nobody, and Brody looked good in the process, much as Buddy did a few weeks ago.
50. I don’t expect this match to be much, but the outcry about who’s in it is more than enough for me to roll my eyes. I’m far more upset they took away the Dance With the Dead theme than I am that they’re into this match. They don’t have a chance in hell regardless.
51. MVP getting mad at the two for allowing this babyface fire to continue. That’s characteristically appropriate.
52. Ropewalk armdrag ends up leading to a kick right in the face afterward. Now the Hurt Syndicate stops playing with their food and it ends. Fine. The crowd loves both these teams for vary different reasons. It was mostly unoffensive. Not sure what Lio and Action think they’re gonna do against those guys though.
53. Toni and Mariah are on this early? At least it’s not second, like All In, but damn.
54. Timeless is my favorite and I’ve made no secret of that. I hope she doesn’t lose the title back, but Megan Bayne is coming for whomever has the title very soon.
55. So much promo gold in this buildup, and there’s gonna be the blood I thought may be in the Swerve match earlier.
56. Listen to the crowd response just for Mariah running up the ramp. I love wrestling.
57. There’s a fucking taser involved already, this is true Hollywood sapphic psychodrama and I am here for it.
58. Luther’s been groinkicked and tossed over a table, the crowd is hotter than they’ve been all night.
59. In the words of the late Bon Scott, “if you want blood, you got it!” Toni apparently saw Will Ospreay’s face in the CC semi-finals and said “hold my martini.”
60. Now Toni’s going for the end of The Grey, only we actually get to see the epic glassfist punch. Then she breaks some glass in the ring, but we’ve already had plenty of crying in this feud, so the river’s already there.
61. Champagne bottle to Toni’s thighs? This is an emergency, those must be protected at all costs!
62. Toni kicks out after a finisher on the glass, and Toni looks like a true Hollywood ending of a very different genre. Just as I say that, Tony says pretty much what I was going for.
63. For the sickos, indeed.
64. Toni finally has the shoe! She hasn’t thrown one of those in far too long. Ever since she failed to watch for one, actually.
65. JR drops a classic “government mule” quote, we’re getting all the classics tonight!
66. Toni hesitates with the shoe again, and gets caught, but kicks out of another MayDay. This isn’t even my flavor of match but it is freaking amazing.
67. Toni finally uses the shoe right in front of the gimmick match table. Toni wins, and holy shit. Awkward cut to people applauding politely.
68. Appropriate standing ovation as they snuggle with each other, and “the end” on the screen. What. A. Storyline.
69. Now we’ve got Takeshita/Omega, another match which could’ve main’d. I expect Kenny to win, and it will be incredible.
70. What is with the fake audio pyro? We can’t even get real pyro for Kenny Omega? Come on.
71. Okay, there’s some actual pyro. I hate the fake audio pyro bullshit, I don’t get the point of it. Either have a splodey or don’t.
72. JBLdamn, that coat, Takeshita. Wardrobe and Makeup departments killing it as usual.
73. Did Kenny Omega have diverticulitis? They should really bring that up.
74. Callis hurts his own damn hand doing the shenans. Go to the trainer, Don! Go to the trainer!
75. Takeshita somehow makes even the Kitchen Sink look devastating.
76. Taz roasting Don while the others struggle to articulate “intensity” rather than “intestine.”
77. Ten-year moratorium on any chants involving Seven Nation Army, please? Probably for football too.
78. That Terminator dive has not had a good track record of success since his return.
79. Release German suplex on the damn floor. Meanwhile that lonely table waits to either do its job or for one of them to become it. Such patience.
80. What is it that can make Kenny Omega get booed? Turning over a table. How. Dare. You?!
81. He pays the price by getting dropped on the table legs, then the table’s edge (No Copeland.) Callis is so giddy that he jogs in place.
82. 8 International Title defenses? OC be like “how you supposed to be worn down from that?”
83. Sunset, springboard, turning sunset flip? It is ridiculous how good at wrestling these two are.
84. Double Tombstone, the second one of which looked like Omega dropped right on his damn head. A little too much of that for my comfort tonight, but it’s Omega so he’s probably perfectly fine with it.
85. The POP for the Omega kickout at 1, holy shit…
86. There’s still a world title match and a cage match to go tonight.
87. For once, someone who does the “on knees but bring it on” thing actually counters it. Takeshita’s forearm shots are absolutely ridiculous.
88. Callis gets directly involved, but the ref is like, “hey… don’t?” Probably remembers the Forbidden Door match with Ospreay.
89. Omega wins with a roll-up, making it another title to change hands on a roll-up in the last few weeks. What a match, what a reaction. No notes.
90. The title’s getting the main, despite what the common feeling of the feud/title/angle seems to be, at least with my very limited perception. The steel cage match, another potential main, will make another attempt to outdo the others.
91. The cage gimmick is pretty rare in this company. I’m sure they’ll take full advantage of that.
92. Both of them have somewhat unique preludes to their entrances. Ospreay’s seems intent on giving me a bass-flashy-induced migraine.
93. Both of them entering my scaling the cage, Fletcher just standing there like a boss on the other side, this is gonna be something.
94. “This is professional wrestling, not professional emotions.” Not one of your better zingers, Don, but sure.
95. This match is already making the effort to be the gruntiest of the evening, that’s for sure.
96. “The modern cage is more constrictive.” At least at first, but then it becomes a part of you.
97. Ospreay saw an impression of his C2 crimson mask earlier, so now he has to one-up that, I’m sure.
98. Fletcher licking blood off the metal cage, and I’m legit not sure which part of that is supposed to taste like the other.
99. This match is exactly what one would expect, yet another trilogy of the evening getting its capstone, yet none of them feeling particularly repetitive.
100. After all this, I’m gonna have to fight very, very hard to give a shit about Mox/Copeland. Not because I hate it, I don’t… not nearly as much as a lot of people seem to… but because it doesn’t have the same sense of urgency, and while Copeland/Swerve would be unique, Mox/Swerve run back under these circumstances would be something else entirely. It’s been a while since their C2 encounters. Also, I am extremely tired. I haven’t stayed up this late probably since the last AEW PPV.
101. Enough with the bloodlicking. Oy with the poodles already.
102. Powerbomb counter into a DDT. What even is this?
103. Oh, there’s the shenans. Surprisingly light for the evening, considering. Looks like Mark Davis is out to break the lock to get in. Good thing the cage gimmick, the idea that no one can get in or out, is so effective.
104. Ospreay kicks the door in Davis’s face for his trouble. Ospreay examines what Davis brought in and is shocked at what he sees. He’s taking so long to anticipate the barbed-wire bat, but it’s not due to getting countered. Damn.
105. A full-on Cactus Jack reference, followed by a Foley chant. Fletcher tries putting on the UE gimmick, I’m sure there’s no low blow following, since we’re well below our quota. Yep, there it is.
106. Ospreay gets the Stormbreaker, but the angle of this shot means someone’s about to get involved. Yep. The point of the steel cage match fails again. Sigh.
107. Ospreay escapes the double team (No JCVD) attempt with a Poisonrana and a chair. He didn’t go full Foley, because that would’ve been his downfall. Fletcher kicks out of an elevated (Yes Ospreay) Os-cutter. What a match. What a show.
108. They planted the screwdriver at the top of the cage, which leads to even more bloodlicking and metal.
109. Ospreay somehow counters multiple screwdriver shots, something that spelt the end of multiple matches on principle, but this match will not end until every gimmick from the feud has been subverted.
110. Speaking of which, Ospreay also kicks out of the brainbuster on the chair. They referenced Cactus earlier, maybe someone’s about to go through the mat from the top of the cage, but since it’s not the main, probably not. There are thumbtacks now because… sure, why not?
111. STYLES CLASH ON THE JBLDAMN THUMBTACKS!
112. And Fletcher kicked out of that too, wow. Follow this, indeed.
113. Screwdriver shot as they each sit on top of the cage, and all I can say is “please don’t slip, please don’t slip, please don’t slip…”
114. Oh no, what are you guys doing? SPANISH FLY FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE! WHAT. ON. EARTH?!
115. There’s another few f-bombs being yelled. Are we gonna get the Tiger Driver? We sure the hell are. Ospreay wins. Wow. I don’t even know what more to say about that. The fact that they’re even moving is astonishing.
116. Well, Mox… Copeland… Follow that.
117. Very awkward interview promoting Queen of the Ring, I guess that’s one way to cool things down a bit beforehand.
118. I think Copeland stopped by the old set of Rescue Me before heading here tonight, based on his outfit.
119. Nice try at the Australia impression, LA. It fell apart toward the end, and the audible mic noises didn’t help either. Points for effort.
120. Someone’s holding up a crutch. Alright.
121. Reminding us of Copeland’s leap from the top of the steel cage doesn’t hit quite the same after that Spanish Fly in the previous match.
122. The crowd seems gassed, and I don’t blame them.
123. This match is so slow. I’m sure it’d be good if it didn’t follow the “all of that.”
124. Crowd currently very interested in something going on off to the side. Christian Cage? Or someone getting booted?
125. Long shot from the top. It’s… The Opps. Alright. They’re awfully far away to prevent a potential cash-in.
126. They’re trying really hard to get the crowd back into it with this hope spot, but… again, you followed *all of that.* I feel bad for them.
127. Tippy-top rope superplex? You’re as tired as I am, aren’t you?
128. Bryce bringing that main event energy at least. I can’t say much else about this.
129. Damn, Bryce got knocked out of the ring, and I’m pretty sure he hit his head on the chair once he landed. That was ugly.
130. There’s a faiied Conchairto. Here comes Emo Yuta.
131. What a shock, he yet again sides with the Death Riders. By the time he actually does turn, nobody’s gonna care anymore.
132. There’s a Switchblade, and he’s definitely good being a Copeland sidekick. He hits Copeland totally by accident. Switchblade would never do such a thing. Definitely not.
133. Please just end. Nope, I don’t care about this and I care even less about Yuta crying wolf again. Do something and end this, please.
134. 3 spears, funny faces. Nope, the most devastating outfit in wrestling, it’s the hoodie! Christian’s cashing in!
135. Are they seriously gonna… they really did it. Wow. Seven months of buildup of a cash-in to only get choked out in the process? Mox retains. I guess. Mox/Swerve should be good, and this should also revive Copeland/Christian. Maybe. The Death Riders stuff continues, which I’m sure will thrill everyone. Good thing we showed the Opps earlier.
136. Prince Nana comes to the exit way to talk some shit, and security shows up in case someone’s gonna start some shit. Swerve leaps off the railing, and the crowd sure as hell woke up! Will he win the title at Dynasty two years in a row, or will they really hold out until Darby comes back from Everest? Damn, what a good way to go out after the main event died hard.
137. This show started weird, then caught fire all the way until the main event, but that last match just didn’t hit for many reasons. Some of the best AEW has to offer, but the angle that nobody seems happy with continues. Yet, still a relatively happy ending. I wonder if that was an audible called after the reaction of everything else that happened. If so, well done.
138. I’m so tired. Mostly an S-tier show, but it missed hard at a couple things.
LARGE HAM
Kyle Fletcher was licking metal and blood only after he was done chewing the scenery.
