QUESTION OF THE DAY: What is your craziest conspiracy theory regarding what you think will happen at Wrestlemania 34?
Wrestlemania season is in full swing. The card is just about full. We’re looking at a rock solid 14 match slate that should deliver to fans of all varieties on multiple levels.
A couple of the matches that have been booked have really gotten the wheels churning in my brain. Yes, that IS the squeaky hamster wheel that you’ve been hearing for the last four hours.
I think we’re in for some pretty shocking events at Wrestlemania 34. There are two in particular that I find to be eye opening. Without further ado:
Theory #1: The Undertaker’s Match Will Be a Swan Song – Just Not For Him.
John Cena v The Undertaker is finally happening at Wrestlemania 34. After years of near misses, it’s finally here. I couldn’t be more excited about it. Some of you hate it, but I am all in. Regardless of your feelings, it’s hard to argue that Cena/Taker won’t be the most talked about match between now and the big dance.
There’s a bigger story building that NO ONE is talking about. The Undertaker “retired” last year after his Wrestlemania 33 match against Roman Reigns, and reaffirmed that position at Raw25 earlier this year. From a storyline standpoint, there are very few options to book an Undertaker v John Cena match in a logical manner.
Simply put, something needs to “happen” in order to incentivize The Undertaker to make a return. John Cena simply calling him out isn’t going to do that. There’s an issue – John Cena is never going heel. He’s made that crystal clear in the past. Just about ALL of the things that could trigger a storyline return for the Undertaker involve John Cena doing something dastardly to him or his family.
Absent anything of that nature, there’s really only one logical way for John Cena to draw the Undertaker into a match.
John Cena needs to put his career on the line.
Now, this isn’t a novel idea that I came up with. There are many people who have speculated that this match will end up being a career v career match. The idea behind this is that The Undertaker, the ultimate in collecting souls, couldn’t pass up an opportunity to put an end to the legend of John Cena.
Everyone else who subscribes to this theory thinks that the stipulation is fluff and will ultimately lead to a John Cena victory. I do not.
John Cena is going to lose to The Undertaker at Wrestlemania 34 and retire.
The writing has been on the wall for a while now. His role has been greatly diminished for the better part of a year. He has been relegated to a part time role in order to pursue other interests. He’s engaged to be married and potentially looking to start a family.
Additionally, he put over Roman Reigns at No Mercy last year. This was a match that people felt would SURELY take place at Wrestlemania. The question I have is, why didn’t it? Was it really that the WWE was so gung-ho on doing Reigns v Lesnar at all costs? Maybe. However, is it that far-fetched to think that the REAL reason that Reigns v Cena didn’t happen is because Wrestlemania 34 was ALWAYS going to be a swan song for John Cena?
I believe that many have a misconception about what is and isn’t important to John Cena. This is a guy who has ALWAYS done what’s best for business. He has put over more superstars than any other “top guy” in the history of the business. Don’t even come at me with a nonsense argument trolls. Hulk Hogan lost a whopping total of NINE TIMES cleanly in his entire career. For someone in his position, Cena has done wonders. Perhaps Cena feels that hanging on as a part timer the way many others have is detrimental to the growth of the company, and now is the right time to step aside.
The argument against this is that the most popular theory regarding John Cena is that he’d hang on to break Ric Flair’s world title record before calling it a day. I’m no longer convinced. I’ve never really seen Cena talk about that record as something that was overly important to him. Cena is a wrestling historian and it’s not out of the question that he actually likes the idea of being tied with a legend like Flair.
Instead, I truly feel that the last item on Cena’s “wrestling bucket list” is to face The Undertaker at Wrestlemania. He’s talked about it over and over again in interviews. He’s mentioned it multiple years on television in what looked to be unscripted comments. This is the match he always wanted. This is the cherry on top of arguably the best career anyone has ever had.
The Undertaker’s match against Cena this year will be a swan song, but it won’t be his. The Undertaker is as old school as old school gets. Those guys never know when to hang it up. I suspect that the Undertaker will still be trotting himself out to the ring ten years from now and it will look far more sad than it did last year against Reigns. I think it’s likely that Cena approached The Undertaker about his desire to hang it up after this year’s Wrestlemania, and The Undertaker was more than happy to oblige. After all, if Taker really does continue to show up year after year, he needs to continue to win or else there will be diminishing returns on every appearance.
I think that Wrestlemania 34 marks the end of the road for John Cena. You’d better appreciate him over the next few weeks. You’ll certainly miss him when he’s gone.
Theory #2: When it Comes to the Women, What’s Raw is Smackdown and What’s Smackdown is Raw.
At this point, the Women’s Revolution is clearly working. There has NEVER been as much interest around the women’s matches at Wrestlemania as there is this year. On the Smackdown side, it’s Asuka v Charlotte in what many consider to be a dream match and a match worthy of being the main event of Wrestlemania. On the Raw side, it’s Alexa Bliss v Nia Jax. The storytelling on Raw has been great thus far. Alexa is the perfect cowardly heel hiding behind Nia’s muscle. I like the fat shaming storyline. I don’t understand why the PC police are out in full-force on this. Alexa is a heel acting like a heel. It’s as simple as that. Empathy is being built up for a character so dominant that it would be hard to empathize with her otherwise. If the AWA could have a character named “The Terrorist” in 1983, I think a heel Alexa Bliss making fun of Nia Jax for being overweight can be tolerated in 2018.
While the matches itself are compelling, the general feeling is that the outcomes are anything but. Both Asuka and Nia Jax are viewed as the uncrowned champions and Wrestlemania 34 looks like the coronation for both. Not so fast. I think something else is at play here.
Carmella is lurking in the weeds.
I think half of the story plays out as most think it will. The WWE didn’t create the first ever Women’s Royal Rumble match only to have its winner do anything other than win the title at Wrestlemania. Asuka is going to beat Charlotte and the match will be as excellent as people hope it to be. I believe that this match will happen VERY EARLY on the Wrestlemania card.
The WWE has been very curious about the way they have phrased Asuka’s Smackdown participation. She has been referred to as a “special guest of Smackdown” as opposed to a “Smackdown Superstar”. The WWE doesn’t make oversights of this nature. They were careful in choosing their words during the Royal Rumble when they stated that the winner could challenge the champion of their choosing on either brand. I knew that Asuka would face Charlotte the minute they made that announcement.
Similarly, it’s not a coincidence that the WWE isn’t referring to Asuka as a Smackdown superstar. It would be easy for the WWE to have engineered a trade that sent Asuka to Smackdown. That hasn’t happened, and I think it’s intentional. Raw is still the “A” show, and whichever brand Asuka is on as champion is going to be viewed as the more important women’s division. Thus, Asuka is 100% staying on Monday Night Raw.
So where does that leave us and why do I insist that Asuka v Charlotte ends up going on early in the show?
If Asuka is staying on Raw, the other world title can’t. Something needs to happen with the Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax match in order for that title to end up on Smackdown. Enter Carmella. With Asuka defeating Charlotte earlier in the night, speculation about how Smackdown will be without a women’s title will run rampant. Regardless of the Alexa/Nia outcome, it’s a lock that Carmella is cashing in on the weakened winner.
This accomplishes several things. First, it allows the women’s championships to stay on separate brands without moving Asuka over to Smackdown. Second, it preserves the credibility of Money in the Bank. There have been rumors that Carmella is going to unsuccessfully cash in sometime soon. I’m not buying it at all. Money in the Bank has become an important event on the WWE calendar. By having both briefcase winners fail to cash in, the match and concept will be devalued tremendously. The WWE simply isn’t going down that path. I believe that the rumors are a red-herring designed to throw us off the trail. Lastly, a multi-faceted story arc like this aligns with the WWE’s desires to present the women as a big deal on the biggest stage that they possibly can. I think the WWE wants to do more than have several great matches involving the women. I think they want us to leave Wrestlemania 34 with the undeniable feeling that women’s wrestling is here to stay.
Asuka beats Charlotte for the women’s title and stays on Raw. Carmella cashes in on the winner of Alexa/Nia and takes the Raw title back to Smackdown. Put it in the bank, it’s happening.
That’s a wrap kids. I can’t believe that Wrestlemania 34 is only three weeks away. Thank you for reading. Sound off below!
Facebook: David Fenichel