IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #463
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Thoughts on AEW: Dynamite – January 10th, 2024
1. It’s okay to go on vacation this week and not write, I said. Dynamite’s been good lately but it’s not like it’ll be one of the top five Dynamites ever, I said. I wasn’t on the edge of my seat with my partner and theirs the entire time or anything. 5:30am comes awfully early, so I do my best to get these out when I can, but I’m at least making sure I get the PPVs. Sometimes Dynamites may be out Thursday if I can’t stay awake. My new job is worth it, but I’m such a night owl that this going to bed early shit is still really difficult.
2. Hangman starts us off. Last week we went off the air with the second pull-apart brawl in recent memory with Swerve, so naturally he’s facing Claudio. Who cares why though, this should be a fun match regardless.
3. I don’t even know what to call what Hangman just did… an out-of-the-ring version of that Nigel/Mox bounce off the second rope clothesline? It looked really cool.
4. Crowd is pretty firmly behind Hangman, so I guess the BCC member of the match will be heel for this segment. Claudio being heel means… he smirks when he does the Big Swing? I don’t know.
5. Hangman’s Death Valley Driver was pretty sick, but Claudio’s sell of it made it even better.
6. The name of the show is Homecoming tonight. Had I any interest in going back to where I grew up, it’d be my 20th high school reunion. I was about to wonder if I should go to Philly for my 5th graduation college reunion but then I realized this would be my 7th. Where does the time go?
7. I wish they did more venues by this, and by that I mean ones where the specs change. Different angles, different feels. More unique locations.
8. Buckshot Jones gets countered into Punch Right in the Fuck Jones.
9. This match was out of nowhere but it’s safe to say they’re using the “Orange Cassidy banger” spot to their utmost advantage. Hangman gets the win after a double Buckshot, which is no surprise since he’s the one currently in a storyline, but that was a great opener nonetheless.
10. Brodie… </3>
11. “Jane” came on the radio of my rental car just as I was heading out to the Olympic peninsula, and it’s funny how a song hits differently once you have an association with it. I remember missing the Pixies song at first, but this one has grown on me a lot.
12. I get why they’re portraying Preston Vance as a good guy for the sake of Daily’s Place, but he also made Brodie’s kid cry and has never answered for it, so it’s still awkward long-term.
13. What an interesting combination of wrestlers. Orange Cassidy, Preston Vance, Dustin Rhodes, and Adam Copeland. Team selection by dartboard. They’re facing the non-Swerve members of the Mogul Embassy and Lance Archer, so this result is pretty obvious.
14. I’m not sure if Cage has enough KT tape on that left shoulder. I think I saw a bit of uncovered skin. Come on, man. If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.
15. Orange Cassidy gets held up in a Stalling Suplex between two different wrestlers for approximately the length of Adam Copeland’s most recent match, so that was pretty impressive.
16. Orange Cassidy has been held at bay by team MEATsterpiece Theatre, and just in time for the spinning circle of doom. Oh, it had been too long.
17. Jose trips up Lance, which is nice of him to be of such assistance, and then Jake Roberts comes over to assist in himself getting punched to the floor. Wrestling.
18. Vance is a Michigan guy *and* he made Negative One cry to no consequence? I guess all he had to do was cheat for two-and-a-half years and he’ll get a championship out of it soon enough.
19. Brian Cage and Lance Archer end up fighting with each other, which leads to Preston getting the pin after a Copeland spear. He’s doing all right for a guy who was tormented in Mexico just a few short months ago.
20. I think Adam saw a kid in the crowd, or someone he knew, and it gets caught on camera. Like he couldn’t be more endearing already…
21. We come back with the Juniors Ass being asses, and Jay White realizing how much he misses Juice. “Just go with it, Renee.” Following up on last week, a stable proposal continues. I’m sure nothing will go wrong. Bang Bang Scissor Gang is the name they come up with. I’ll take it over some of the other combinations of the two I’ve heard.
22. Samoa Joe is here to remind us all how damn well he pulls off a suit. He gets a “thank you, Joe” chant, although the reason for said gratitude isn’t exactly determined.
23. We’re getting changes to the championship protocol, including no “ho-ass comments.” I’m sure that’s not directed at anything specific going on right now that makes me glad I’m off social media.
24. Whose house? Finally, the showdown I’ve been waiting for. Two guys with heelish tendencies but are ridiculously over nonetheless, this is gonna be awesome.
25. Now we get a second Hangman sighting, so is Hook also gonna be out here before this segment’s done? I mean, Hangman beat Moxley in a Texas Death, so anything’s possible.
26. Joe’s music closes out… Nope, there he is. Time for the biggest bag of chips you’ve ever had, young one of glorious hair.
27. Renee is backstage with an early contender for 2024 HAM of the Year, Toni Storm. We get her name-dropping Wendy Richter and giving Mariah a chocolate. Has anyone maximized their minutes better than Toni Storm in the last six months?
28. The Sammy/Jericho tag title match is on Battle of the Belts? Damn, I guess Elevation was busy. (Yes, I know Elevation isn’t around anymore.) Given how often titles have changed hands on that show, I think another Sammy heel turn is more likely than a title change. Good… on the not changing titles part, not on Sammy continuing to Big Show his way back and forth.
29. Of the three people who came out, it’s Hook that gets an immediate title shot. All right then, I don’t think he has a shot but it’ll be good to see him work this much higher on the card.
30. I’m not sure if Sammy meant to trip Ricky out of the ring or not, but I’m surprised that doesn’t happen more often with that spot either way.
31. Sammy’s face gets planted right on the apron. I hope he didn’t break his nose like Trent against Eddie, that looked nasty.
32. Mentioning that Sammy took time off for “the newborn” sounds like Sophia Petrillo levels of shade, even though it’s not intended.
33. Sammy suddenly wins? What the hell happened? I don’t like them talking about a thousand yard stare, even if it’s in kayfabe. I hope it’s *only* in kayfabe, this angle has been cursed enough as it is.
34. The two shake hands, but it holds for way too long, where is Large William?
35. Oh goodie, that gives us Jericho, a one-legged Codebreaker, and fighting to Judas. Still not enough to make me care.
36. It’s almost 8:20, of course the women’s match is on next. Some traditions never change?
37. I’m glad the name plate qualified that Willow and Kris had a “quick” tag win. Otherwise I wouldn’t have taken their prowess seriously. The real MVP of the team is Boots and we all know it.
38. I miss the old Thunder Rosa theme, but not as much as I miss the old Ruby Soho theme. At least I don’t have to hear Saraya’s, so glass half full.
39. Gosh, how far Julia and Skye have come in the last year. Anxious to see how their careers take some more big steps forward.
40. Second time tonight, I understand why Anna is on the face team, but I can’t pretend like it’s not still weird, all things considered. These two matches feel almost non-canon for this reason.
41. Willow gets swept into the top turnbuckle with the back of her head. Good JBL shit like that makes me nervous.
42. Again, it was pretty clear who was going to win that one. It was still good to see that many of the women on the show at once though, if nothing else.
43. It sure was nice of Adam Cole to do that impression of the Firm’s intro promo last week, but he did it way too well and justified his reasons even better. Pretty much had the people I was watching with going “where’s the lie though?”
44. Poor Brian Keith getting the no-entrance, he deserves better. But he’s been on a lot recently, so I hope that’s a sign of better things to come.
45. The sound of a crowd randomly yelling “ADAM!” at different times is one of the odder wrestling entrance reactions, to say the least. It’s at least easier to balance when you’re there and the closest people to you are louder than the others. It’s chaos when it’s all at once.
46. At this point, I’m just hoping Takeshita and Hobbs are the first to beat Sting in a match. After Takeshita looked like the baddest ever against Darby last week, and it would be one thing on this show that wasn’t utterly predictable.
47. It’s so good to have heel Adam Cole back on the mic again, even with how much fun his stuff this summer was. And even if he is engaging in some good old-fashioned hyperbole.
48. At least eight people infuriated about the Undisputed Kingdom, and none of them to be seen. Okay then.
49. Deonna not only being awesome, but playing right into Toni’s gimmick rather than going against it. Good stuff.
50. They got JR out for this one. His selective use on commentary lately has made the matches he calls seem like a bigger deal. That’s the best role for him at this point, I think.
51. Damn, this is starting entrances with 13 minutes left in the show? Ope, they got a 5-minute overrun. Still.
52. This escalates quickly into crowd chaos, which is a turn from last week. Takeshita stares down that guy with the goth boys, joy.
53. Takeshita picking up where he left off a week ago, and countering the Coffin Drop into a suplex on the floor. I’ve never seen Takeshita look as dominant as he did last week. I wish they’d done that for him a year ago.
54. Hobbs and Takeshita toss Darby the whole way across the damn ring, and his head lands on the damn bottom rope. Holy shit, that was ugly. And I’m sure it won’t slow him down in the slightest, because something like that seems to happen every match.
55. Oh, of course he got involved.
56. Speaking of things happening to Darby in the match, Darby Coffin Drops off the set, and we see it from the most distant camera possible. Though to also be fair, I’m pretty sure he Coffin Dropped the stage more than Takeshita, and that’s just mean. The stage never did a thing to him.
57. Sting also Scorpion Death Drops Hobbs through a table. Sting and Darby win. Well, that was chaos, and they’re checking on Sting, so I’m hoping he didn’t get messed up on that fall.
58. I’m really glad Sting’s getting this last moment in the sun.
59. Tony gets in the ring to ask who his final opponent will be, and a familiar guitar riff interrupts the question. Oh. Of all people? The Young Bucks? Okay.
60. Honestly, I hope it just stays BTDO. Outside of the first episode, that show has been an absolute delight in the last few weeks.
61. It would’ve been tough no matter what to follow up a show like last week’s, but I kinda wish they were in reverse order, plot continuation aside. This felt like a bit of a step back from last week’s instant classic of a show.
LARGE HAM
Someone picks up right where they left off. Toni Storm takes the first official HAM of 2024.
I’m falling asleep at the keys, good night everyone.