- FTW Championship: Hook (c) vs. Ethan Page
- Anna JAS vs. Julia Hart
- Darby Allin vs. Lee Moriarty
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AEW Rampage 4/7/23
Live from the Ryan Center in Kingston, Rhode Island! Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone, and Excalibur are on the call and we’re getting right to business.
Match #1. FTW World Championship: Hook (c) vs. Ethan Page
FTW rules in this match so no rules, falls count anywhere, anything goes! Page jumps Hook but Hook quickly turns the tables. Both men fight up the staircase through the crowd now. Hook beats on Page over the balcony as Page looks to escape to the concession stand. The fight continues back to the ringside area as Page boots Hook over the guard rail and onto the floor. Page jaws with a fan which allows Hook to catch him with a t-bone suplex on the outside! Page looks for the Ego’s Edge through the ringside table but settles for a running powerslam through the table instead! Cover on the outside for a two count. Back in the ring and Page grabs a chair but Hook reverses and hits the Twist of Fate on the chair. Two count. Page responds with the pump kick to the face. Two count. Page looks for the Ego’s Edge again but Hook slithers out the back and looks in the RedRum and Page taps immediately!
Winner and STILL FTW Champion: Hook
Rating: **1/2. Fun little brawl to start the show, with plenty of plundah! Hook continues to grow as a performer and Page always delivers.
After the match, Hook puts Page through the table with an exploder for good measure.
A new episode of QTV has arrived. Hobbs bought himself a new car with Wardlow’s credit card. QTV crew discusses the Lucha Bros and then make fun of Dante Martin’s broken leg.
Math #2. The Acclaimed & The Jericho Appreciation Society vs. The Infantry, Bobby Orlando, & LSG
LSG & Bowens start. LSG up and over but runs into a back elbow and a superkick by Bowens. Orlando gets the tag but gets a drop toe hold and an elbow drop from Menard and Parker. Scissor Me, Timbers to Orlando. JAS clear the ring of the other fellas. Four-way scissor?! Nope, just The Acclaimed. The Arrival by Bowens and Mic Check finish this one.
Winners: The Acclaimed & The JAS
Rating: NR
The JAS attack The Acclaimed post-match and Hager dumps Daddy Ass with a double leg.
Swerve is here with a big announcement. Like all great moguls, mergers happen, and Swerve has joined forces with… we’ll have to wait to find out later tonight.
Match #3. Darby Allin vs. Lee Moriarty
Both men trade wrist locks to start. Straightjacket by Moriarty reversed by Darby into one of his own. Majistral cradle by Darby gets two. Sole but by Moriarty sends Darby crashing to the floor. Moriarty backs Darby into the guard rail and delivers some European uppercuts but misses a big boot and gets crotched! Moriarty rolls in the ring and as the referee checks on him, Big Bill flattens Darby with a big boot on the outside! Moriarty in control now with a crucifix stretch as we go to commercial. Back from break and Darby hits a shotgun dropkick that sends Moriarty into the corner. Darby heads up top but Bill distracts him and Moriarty swipes the legs out as Darby lands on the top rope uber awkwardly. Two count. Full nelson by Moriarty but Darby fights out. Superplex by Moriarty but Darby holds on for a cradle that gets two. Reverse Gedo Clutch by Darby gets two. Moriarty looks for the abdominal stretch but Darby counters into a back slide for two. Code Red by Darby and a suicide dive to Big Bill! Darby heads top and it’s a brutal Coffin Drop for the win!
Winner: Darby Allin
Rating: ***. Man I wish these two had so much more time, but what we got was a heck of a lot of fun. Darby continues to build his case towards a showdown with the Four Pillars and MJF for a title shot, and Moriarty continues to be a really good professional wrestler.
Post-match, Swerve’s music hits and here’s Swerve… face to face with Darby. Wait, here’s Brian Cage! F-10 to Darby! Mogul Affiliates has merged with… The Embassy!
Match #4. Anna JAS vs. Julia Hart
Interesting choice for the main event here, but here we go. Anna attacks Hart during her entrance and away we go. Anna in control early throwing Hart into the steps and the guard rail on the outside. Back in the ring Anna puts the boots to Hart in the corner as we go to PIP. Anna now contorts Hart around the ring post and looks to break her in half from the outside. Hart fights back with some forearms and throws Anna into all four turnbuckles. Superkick to the knee of Anna and a kick to the head by Hart gets a two count. “Let’s go Spooky” chants from the crowd. Standing moonsault by Hart gets two. Anna counters a back slide into a Widow’s Peak that only gets two. Queen Slayer by Anna but Hart backs her into the corner with some back elbows. Hart sets Anna up on the top turnbuckle and follows her up. Hart looking for a superplex but Anna fights off, but Julia comes off the top with a moonsault for two. Anna locks in the Queen Slayer but Julia takes both of them to the outside. Anna gets in the ring but Julia throws in the chair, which referee Paul Turner removes from the ring. Behind the referee’s back, Hart mists Anna in the face and rolls her up for the three count.
Winner: Julia Hart
Rating: *1/4. Welp. This happened. This was a match that happened and that’s all I’ve got.
Final Thoughts: Unbelievably average episode of Rampage tonight. Anna JAS and Julia Hart is a strange choice for a main event, but if the thought is you want to get the real “main event” in the ring without the time constrains, then I get it. Swerve buying The Embassy and facing Darby should be a lot of fun but this show kind of just existed. 6/10.