It is time for AEW’s biggest pay-per-view of the calendar year. A lot has been said about the build for the event, but now, it’s time for AEW to deliver on everything.
I will be posting this review in the immediate aftermath of the show. Then, when Peacock posts the replay for NXT Battleground, I will watch that and post my review for that show as soon as possible. Finally, I will post my usual weekly column on Monday afternoon, my time. Lots of stuff going on, so I don’t want to waste any more time. You know the deal, so say it with me…
LESS DEW EET!!!
Blackjack Battle Royal – Winner Is The AEW International Champion
I love, love, love that the introductions for the match took place at the end of the pre-show. Instead of taking ten-plus minutes of important pay-per-view time, it’s a great idea to get that out of the way before the show officially begins. Now, we get the action starting almost immediately after the show-opening video package. Good stuff.
If you’ve followed my AEW pay-per-view reviews, you should already know I won’t be giving this match a rating. These can be a lot of fun to watch, but when you’re packing 40-ish minutes of spots into 20-ish minutes of match time, and when it’s all so fast-paced that your production team misses a bunch of it, anyway, it’s almost impossible to review. Thankfully, I don’t have to do play-by-play for things like this, because I would probably lose my mind.
Watching this is a little distracting because the audio and video on Bleacher Report aren’t quiiiiite synced up. It’s not a dramatic difference, but you’ll hear a strike before you see it land. I first noticed it during the introductions on the pre-show, as “Smart” Mark Sterling was cutting a promo, but it hasn’t been fixed yet. According to Twitter, I’m not the only one having this issue with the feed, either.
The match was everything you would expect it to be. Spots, spots, spots, spots, and more spots. Most of them are caught on-camera, but some aren’t. I really enjoyed the final stretch, though. As always, I will give this one No Rating, though, because I just can’t keep up with enough of what’s going on to actually give a fair score.
Adam Cole vs Chris Jericho – Unsanctioned Match
Looks like the audio and video issues have been fixed. For now. We’ll see if that lasts.
Cole gets made fun of online a lot because of size, or lack thereof. He isn’t the tallest man in the world, nor does he have the physique of Lex Luger in his prime. With that said, Cole and Sabu were just standing next to each other at the top of the ramp, and Cole looks to be taller and heavier than Sabu by a comfortable margin. Sabu legitimately looks like he’s 5’5″ and 125 pounds right now. Bringing Sabu in was a horrendous decision to begin with. There was zero logic behind the whole thing, but the man’s current physical state only makes things worse.
I spoke too fucking soon about the audio and video issues. Fucking hell.
The crowd doesn’t seem to give a shit about any of this, and neither Cole or Jericho is giving them any reason to. This is supposed to be a “blood feud” that requires the Unsanctioned stipulation. They’re moving around like they’re stuck in molasses, plodding from spot to spot. Aubrey Edwards, who appears to be sharing a makeup artist with Ronda Rousey, looks like she’s bored out of her mind.
Look, let’s forget about the issues that I’m having with my feed at the moment. This match was bad. Really bad. I don’t know if Cole and Jericho were blown up, but they certainly acted like they were. Everything was so boring, and everyone reacted as such. Adding Sabu was one of the most pointless things in wrestling history, as he literally threw a chair, then dove through a table, and was no longer involved in the match after about a minute or two. So stupid. Then, we got a finish that shouldn’t have been possible in an UNSANCTIONED MATCH. Jesus Christ. 2 Stars, and that is me being VERY generous.
FTR vs Jeff Jarrett & Jay Lethal – AEW Tag Team Title Match (With Special Guest Referee, Mark Briscoe)
Not that they’ve been given classic after classic so far tonight, but this crowd has been a two-pack of ass tonight. If there’s one thing you can usually count on with AEW, it’s that they’re going to have some of the hottest crowds around. Not only is this quiet for an AEW crowd, this would be quiet for a crowd at a random episode of Raw or Smackdown. If we’re being honest, this would be quiet for an Impact pay-per-view.
The issues with the audio and video got worse and worse, where I would hear something a full three seconds before seeing it on screen, so I had to switch from watching on my TV to watching on my computer.
From a technical standpoint, this has been a good match without anything to really complain about. These four men are working hard, but they’re being poisoned by the bullshit of the previous match. After watching two men wrestle while being stuck in peanut butter for nearly 20 minutes, the following contest would’ve been better if it were something fast-paced. We were never going to get that type of match from these four men.
As soon as I type all that and praise the technical part of this match, we got a REF BUMP, taking Mark Briscoe out. Then, Aubrey Edwards runs out to take Mark’s place, only to be laid out with a guitar shot from Karen Jarrett. I guess she was never officially in the ring, meaning she was never officially in the match, so she’s fair game to assault.
All in all, it was still fun. Perhaps way too overbooked in the final moments, but when was the last time you watched a Jeff Jarrett match that wasn’t? 3.25 Stars
Wardlow vs Christian Cage – Ladder Match for the AEW TNT Title
A running theme tonight has been how Jim Ross seems extra ornery on commentary, specifically when it comes to wrestlers getting near the announce table. The table is at ringside tonight instead of its usual spot at the side of the stage, but JR is acting like any wrestler within ten feet of him is going to run him over with a truck.
Of course, our other running theme tonight is just how much this crowd sucks. I understand that AEW loves their casino-themed things… All In, Blackjack Battle Royal, and so on… but there are casinos all over the place. You don’t need to keep running Las Vegas to fit the theme. Whenever AEW is in Vegas, the crowd sucks. The only real noise they’ve made in this match so far is a brief “turtleneck” chant, mocking Christian’s ring attire. Even that sounded like it was done by 30 people, and it was over in seconds.
Wardlow climbs to the top rope to perform an attack on Christian, who is laid out atop a ladder. At ringside, Luchasaurus is standing there, pointing at Wardlow, basically telling him not to do it. IT’S A LADDER MATCH! GO STOP HIM!
Like I mentioned for the previous match, there wasn’t anything truly wrong with this one. It was a lot slower than the show needed it to be in this spot, but it wasn’t a bad match full of missed spots and screw-ups. There was a lot more Arn Anderson involvement than I would’ve preferred, but at least he was able to make the few dozen fans who care actually make noise. 3.25 Stars
Jamie Hayter vs Toni Storm – AEW Women’s Title Match
There’s a ton of potential here. I’m not sure they can do much to get this crowd going, but they have what it takes to make this the best match of the night so far, if this were a normal situation.
Maybe I jinxed it. After I typed that, we got a three-on-one pre-match attack on the champion, with all the members of The Outcasts beating Jamie Hayter down. From there, we almost immediately got a REF BUMP within a couple minutes, spray paint usage, and… the match ends in a few minutes. I get that Jamie Hayter is legitimately injured, but this wasn’t necessary. Had this happened on any other night, perhaps it wouldn’t be as upsetting, but it didn’t happen on any other night. It happened on this night, and… well…
This fucking show sucks. No Rating, as it was more of an angle than an actual match.
The House Of Black vs The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn – Trios Match for the AEW Trios Titles
In his pre-match rap, Max Caster mentioned that Buddy Matthews is currently getting “cucked by a kid named Dominik.” That was pretty funny. There was even what sounded like a very brief “Dominik” chant by approximately 14 people when Buddy first tagged in to enter the match. For the very few of you who don’t get the reference, Buddy Matthews is the real-life boyfriend of Rhea Ripley, who, of course, is Dominik Mysterio’s Mami these days.
I’m going to say this as someone who admittedly doesn’t know how easy or difficult it would be to do this, but… it would’ve been nice if the six men involved in this match got together beforehand, talked about how the show has been going, and decided to change things up. This show is in dire need of something fast paced and exciting. What we got here was another match that was perfectly fine, but it was so slow. The majority of the match was HOB working on an “injured” Anthony Bowens. 3 Stars
Jade Cargill vs Taya Valkyrie – AEW TBS Title Match
I like both of these women, but do you know what I’m almost 100% sure this match won’t be? The action-packed, non-stop spot fest that this show needs.
Jade continues to get some really fun and entertaining entrances for pay-per-views, but my goodness, there are times when it ends there. She’ll either have matches that are way too short, that feature opponents she has zero chemistry with, or both. This was another instance of that. Jade and Taya just didn’t click at all. 2.5 Stars
However, we got ourselves an impromptu match…
Jade Cargill vs Kris Statlander – AEW TBS Title Match
Umm… we have a new champion. Again, I don’t like giving results away in these reviews, just in case people are reading to see if a show was worth checking out, but this was a necessary “spoiler.” After the previous match, Kris Statlander made her return to AEW, and we got another title match set up. It was over in about a minute, and just like that, a two-year undefeated streak is over. Wow.
No Rating, obviously, as that wasn’t much of anything. Lord knows I’ve told you all a million times that Stat should be the one who finally defeats Jade, but like that?!?!?!? That seems like an awfully big waste.
MJF vs Sammy Guevara vs Darby Allin vs “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry – Four-Way Match for the AEW World Title
I don’t know if I should be surprised this match isn’t in the main event spot, but I am.
During Sammy’s entrance, he busts out the cue cards again, and, along with Tay Melo, he uses them to reveal to the world that they’re having a baby. That was awesome. Sammy is being wildly miscast as a face here, but he got a decently respectable face reaction for that reveal.
After a few minutes, I can say that the crowd is more involved in this match than anything else we’ve seen tonight. Does that mean they’re electric right now? No. If an all-time great crowd is rated as a ten, this crowd is at a five or so right now, up from the one or two that they’ve been at all night. So… hooray, progress?
We’re FINALLY getting the action-packed match we’ve needed all night. While the match still has the usual “at least one man is outside of the ring for minutes at a time” shit that we always get for these types of matches, there’s still plenty of action when anyone is in the ring. I dig it.
This was so much fun. All four men busted their asses here, and they should be proud of what they delivered. The crowd came alive for the first real time all night, and they were given something to react to. 4.5 Stars
The Elite vs Blackpool Combat Club – Anarchy In The Arena
Bring on the blood, the violence, and the… anarchy… in the arena.
The first person to bleed in the match? Referee Rick Knox. I have no idea how the fuck it happened, because there’s a million things going on at the same time here, but yeah, we have blood.
Hey, Jon Moxley is bleeding now! That’s more like it. He wasn’t bloodied on-camera, but I think it’s a safe bet that he lazily dragged a blade across his forehead in front of anyone that was looking at him, just like every other time he bleeds.
Nick Jackson is a bloody mess. Kenny Omega is bleeding. “Hangman” Adam Page is busted open.
After being hit with a piledriver in the bed of a pickup truck outside of the arena, Matt Jackson was out of action for a minutes. He returned to the match and hit Mox with a superkick that caused a fucking explosion. A literal explosion. With no explanation, that is going to be one of the dumbest things you’ll ever see in a pro wrestling match, and yet, still hilarious.
Ever want to watch someone dropped, barefoot, onto a gazillion thumbtacks? This match is for you. Ever want to see that same person have thumbtacks shoved in his mouth and then get nailed with a huge uppercut from Claudio Castagnoli? This match is for you.
Ever want to see Konosuke Takeshita turn heel in AEW? This match is for you.
Jesus Herbert Christ, that was everything we assumed it would be. Non-stop violence, blood, guts, stiff strikes, and as much action as you can handle. 4 Stars. Wild, wild stuff.
The final two matches were a ton of fun, but they weren’t enough to save the overall show. Too many matches that were better suited for an episode of Dynamite or Rampage, and three-ish hours of a crowd being as dead as a pro wrestling crowd gets.