When this column goes live to the world, the Wild Card Round of the NFL Playoffs will be mostly over, with one more game to take place a few hours after the column is posted.
This is a really fun time of year for me as a fan of the NFL, but especially so because my San Francisco 49ers are not only in the playoffs, but are one of the best teams in the entire league.
Every now and then, I like to combine my love of pro football with my love of pro wrestling, and columns like this are what are born from that combination. I’ve done a few of these through the years, but if you’re new, what I do is look at pro wrestling, take a bunch of wrestlers, and create an NFL roster out of them.
I do have a few “rules” to follow, and they are…
– To narrow it down, and to make it easier for readers to digest, I’m only using the WWE, NXT, and AEW rosters to make my selections from.
– Only “active” wrestlers will be included. No Andre The Giant, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, and so on.
– I’m aiming for as much “realism” as possible when it comes to the sizes of these wrestlers (based on their height and weight listed online and that gets used on television) and their football counterparts. If you don’t see a seven-foot-tall person playing a particular position in football, I won’t be using a seven-foot-tall wrestler for that position. If you want nothing but giants, there’s always the Madden video games for you to create a roster in.
– A player’s past history playing football doesn’t necessarily matter here. Even if someone played in the NFL before they became a wrestler, they might not “qualify” for that position today. Usually, that happens when the wrestler has lost a bunch of weight since their football days, or perhaps the size “requirements” for that position have changed through the years.
– I’m trying to craft as close to a full 53-man squad as I can here, which is the size of the roster for an NFL team in the regular season. That means I have to be realistic in that area, too. NFL teams don’t carry 15 Quarterbacks, so my team won’t, either. I might cheat a bit to end up with 53 players, as I try not to include Kickers, Punters, Long Snappers, and players like that because they’re not as fun to discuss.
– Ages are irrelevant here. It’s pretty rare for a non-Kicker to play in the NFL at the age of 40 and older, but you’re bound to see more than a few wrestlers aged 40 and up listed here. I’m only using a wrestler’s size, speed, athletic ability, strength, temperament, and attributes like that.
Don’t worry if you’re someone who isn’t familiar with American football. I try my best to explain what I’m doing, what the positions do, why I chose Wrestler A here and Wrestler B there, and so on.
Finally, keep in mind that is is nothing but fun. There’s no need for you to read between lines that don’t exist, making assumptions about why certain wrestlers are listed and certain ones aren’t. This has nothing to do with who I feel is the best wrestler, who is the best company, blah blah blah.
No more wasting time. Let’s make a football team, shall we?
Offense (Singleback Formation – Starting Lineup Of 1 QB, 1 RB, 3 WR, 1 TE, 2 OT, 2 OG, 1 C)
The Quarterback is the single most important position on a football team. It is almost impossible to succeed without solid QB play, and many teams at all stages of play, prove that year in and year out. The entire offense runs through the QB, and he needs to have the entire playbook flowing freely through his brain, complete with audibles. He needs to be able to read the opposing defense and change things up on the fly if something doesn’t look right. I need someone smart here. How about someone with a Bachelor’s Degree, a Master’s Degree, and a Ph.D, as well? Xavier Woods gets my starting QB spot. At 5’11” and 205 pounds, he would be on the smaller side for an NFL QB. However, his size lines up well with current NFL QB’s like Kyler Murray (5’10”, 207), Bryce Young (5’10”, 194), Russell Wilson (5’11”, 215), as well as first-ballot Pro Football Hall Of Famer Drew Brees (6’0″, 209). To go with his intelligence, Woods would bring a level of speed and athletic ability to the position, making him a true dual-threat player that could hurt defenses with his arm or with his legs.
For his backup, I simply flipped the starter and the backup from the last time I did a column like this. Not only is this guy intelligent, but he possesses the natural leadership qualities that you want from your Quarterback, as well as the cool-under-pressure demeanor that is necessary. Cody Rhodes, come on down. At 6’2″ and 220 pounds, he is physically larger than Xavier Woods, but he would still be bordering on the smaller size for an NFL QB. He lines up with current NFL QB’s such as Tua Tagovailoa (6’1″, 217), Mac Jones (6’3″, 220), Aaron Rodgers (6’2″, 223), Jalen Hurts (6’1″, 223), Lamar Jackson (6’2″, 212), Deshaun Watson (6’3″, 223), and CJ Stroud (6’3″, 218). I feel that Cody’s creative mind would really come in handy on the football field, and that he could use that to excel where QB’s that are larger, faster, or stronger might not be able to.
Running Back is a position that features multiple “types” of player that can be successful. Depending on your preference, or your player personnel, you can win at RB with speed, with power, or by finding some sort of balance between the two. Normally, I would prefer my starting RB to be more of a “scatback,” which means a smaller, lightning-quick runner. This time around, I’m going to go with someone who is more of a blend of speed and power, and someone who knows what it’s like to be a RB because he was one in college, and was even signed to the NFL’s Baltimore Ravens as a rookie, only to be released in the preseason. My starting RB is Bron Breakker. When it comes to explosive athleticism, there aren’t many in wrestling that can top what he possesses. At 6’0″ and 230 pounds, his size matches up to NFL RB’s like Leonard Fournette (6’0″, 228), Ezekiel Elliott (6’0″, 225), Saquon Barkley (6’0″, 232), Nick Chubb (5’11”, 227), and James Conner (6’1″, 233). With Bron, I feel that he could handle the workload of a RB, with the size and strength needed to run the ball between the Tackles, and the speed and explosiveness to cut outside.
One of my backup Running Backs would be more of the “scatback” style that I mentioned earlier. For this spot, I’ll go with Ricochet. At 5’9″ and 188 pounds, he’s not the largest player you’ll ever see lined up at RB, but his size matches up with NFL RB’s like De’Von Achane (5’9″, 188), Kyren Williams (5’9″, 194), and NFL greats like Warrick Dunn (5’9″, 180) and Ray Rice (5’9″, 195). With his speed, though, I feel like Ricochet could be a threat to score a touchdown from anywhere on the field when he has the football in his hands.
My next backup RB would be someone who is very similar in height and weight to Bron Breakker, but his calling would be the smoothness and elegance he runs with. Swerve Strickland is 6’1″ and 233 pounds, and as I said, he’s a match to Bron Breakker’s measurements, so I’ve already gone over a lot of Swerve’s NFL comparisons. I think he could be like Pro Football Hall Of Famer Eric Dickerson, who was known for being an effortless runner, making everything look smooth and easy.
The final backup RB on my team would be my short-yardage specialist. He’s the guy you call on when you’re at the goal line and you need to punch it in for a touchdown, or when it’s third down and you need a yard or two to get a first down. Let’s go with Gable Steveson here. He’s 6’1″ and 265 pounds, which makes him larger than teams generally like their Running Backs to be these days. His size does come close to NFL RB’s like Najee Harris (6’1″, 242), Alex Armah (6’1″, 255), and AJ Dillon (6’0″, 247), though. He’s also similar in size to NFL greats like Jerome Bettis (5’11”, 252) and Jamal Lewis (5’11”, 245). His size, combined with the exquisite balance and low center of gravity that he has from his years as a World Class amateur wrestler, will serve him well on the football field.
In a three Wide Receiver set, like my offense has, all three players can often be distinct players with their own unique skills. That isn’t always the case, but it does happen a lot. My first starter would be in the “X” spot, lined up on the outside of the formation. I prefer these Receivers to be larger in size, as their placement at the line of scrimmage before the ball is snapped allows opposing Defensive Backs to “jam” the WR and assert their physicality to throw the WR off of his route. The largest WR I have on my team is someone who was a WR in college, so he knows what he’s doing. Trick Williams is the pick here. At 6’4″ and 240 pounds, he would be one of the NFL’s largest Wide Receivers. It would, however, put him in line with NFL WR’s like Chase Claypool (6’4″, 238), Mike Evans (6’5″, 231), and DK Metcalf (6’4″, 235), as well as NFL greats like Brandon Marshall (6’5″, 232), Calvin Johnson (6’5″, 237), and Vincent Jackson (6’5″, 230).
On the opposite end of the formation is my “Z” Wide Receiver. Unlike the “X” WR, a “Z” WR doesn’t need to line up right on the line of scrimmage, provided that there are seven players overall lined up there. We’ll get to the other positions in a bit, but my offense will feature five Offensive Linemen, a Tight End, and then the aforementioned “X” WR. Because the “Z” doesn’t have to get in formation on the line of scrimmage, it makes him a more difficult player for opposing defenders to jam. This allows the “Z” to be someone of a smaller stature, if you see fit, and it also means you’re looking for your “speed guy” to be here. My pick here might surprise some people, but I’m going with Konosuke Takeshita. He was a track and field star in Japan, and once attempted to compete and qualify for the 2020 Olympics. Works for me. At 6’2″ and 231 pounds, he matches up with NFL WR’s like AJ Brown (6’1″, 226), Treylon Burks (6’2″, 225), Jonathan Mingo (6’2″, 225), and Ben Skowronek (6’3″, 224).
My final starting Wide Receiver is the “Slot” player. A good Slot WR is both lightning quick and tough as hell. He needs to be tough, as he often finds himself running routes in the middle of the field, leaving him more susceptible to taking violent hits. Lightning quick… tough as nails… sounds like AJ Styles to me. In the ring, AJ has no problem going toe-to-toe with much larger and stronger opponents. This would be a good spot for him. At 5’11” and 218 pounds, his size matches up with NFL WR’s like Parker Washington (5’10”, 212), Terry McLaurin (6’0″, 210), DJ Moore (6’0″, 210), and Deebo Samuel (6’0″, 215).
My backup Wide Receivers are a mix-and-match group that can line up on the inside or on the outside, depending on what is needed at the time. Grayson Waller (6’3″, 205), Sammy Guevara (5’10”, 195), Montez Ford (6’1″, 232), Kofi Kingston (6’0″, 212), and Logan Paul (6’2″, 205) give me what I feel is an impressive group of playmakers that will make my Quarterbacks very happy.
Tight End is another very versatile position that requires different things from different players in different offenses, depending on what that offense is trying to do. Some offenses use their TE as another Offensive Lineman, asking him to block, both to clear openings in the running game and to keep his Quarterback safe from defenders looking to knock him on his ass in the passing game. Other offenses have a TE that is, for all intents and purposes, a larger Wide Receiver, and they use him to create mismatches in the middle of the field and become another pass-catching weapon. Ideally, you want a great mix of both options, but it doesn’t always work out that way. My starter at TE is someone I feel could be a great mix of both options. He is a big, badass muscled-up guy who could excel as a blocker, but he always blows people away with his speed and agility for someone his size. Let’s pencil Wardlow in here. At 6’3″ and 277 pounds, he would automatically become one of the heaviest TE’s in the league. However, he has somewhat close matches to current NFL TE’s like Will Dissly (6’4″, 265), Michael Mayer (6’4″, 265), Trevon Wesco (6’3″, 267), and CJ Uzomah (6’5″, 271).
I have three players as backup TE’s on my roster, and they’re all relatively similar in size, but they bring different skills to the table here. Adam Copeland (6’5″, 241) is never going to be considered the biggest, fastest, strongest, or anything along those lines, but he has built up one of the greatest careers of all-time because of two things. One, he was always able to be in the right place at the right time, which is a tremendous trait for a TE to have as he maneuvers his way through the muck and mire to find a way to get open. Two, he has a very intelligent mind for the business, and is a student of the game. I feel that would translate well here. He’s a good size match for NFL TE’s like Darren Waller (6’6″, 245), TJ Hockenson (6’5″, 248), Travis Kelce (6’5″, 250), and George Kittle (6’4″, 250). Those are easily four of the best TE’s in the NFL today, and similarly to what I mentioned with Copeland, none of them are truly dominant when it comes to their physical traits. More than anything, they use their intelligence to create mismatches and they find themselves open time and time again.
My next backup is someone that probably could be a good pass-catcher, but I have him on the roster because of his otherworldly strength that would come in handy as a blocker. Claudio Castagnoli isn’t the biggest man in the wrestling business, but he could probably take the biggest man in the wrestling business, lift him up and muscle him around. At 6’5″ and 232 pounds, he’s close enough to the measurements of Adam Copeland that there’s no need to go through with the NFL comparison rigmarole again.
The final backup TE on my roster is someone similar to Wardlow, in that he always seems to surprise people with how quick and agile he is for a man his size. Angelo Dawkins, it’s your turn. While Montez Ford is the jaw-dropper of the Street Profits team when it comes to the spots he’s capable of pulling off, but please don’t sleep on what Dawk has been doing. He’s big enough to come out victorious in the tussles that ensue when it comes to the blocking game, but he’s also fast enough to stretch the field and be a weapon in the passing game. At 6’5″ and 260 pounds, he’s also close enough in size to the previous two Tight End choices, so I won’t get redundant and make a bunch of NFL comparisons here.
Next up, let’s move to Offensive Tackle, as we do like WCW and get to where the big boys play. Depending on what side of the line an OT is on, he’s either going to be the key blocker to defend the Quarterback’s “blind side” as opposing pass rushers are trying to put the QB on the ground, or they’re the blocker called upon to help open the way for the Running Back on strong side runs. My first OT is someone who knows what it’s like to play on the line because he did it all the way up until the NFL, where he made the practice squad for two different teams, albeit at a different position. Baron Corbin is my go-to here. He’s 6’8″ and 285 pounds, which would make him one of the tallest men in the league right away, but would also make him one of the lightest OT’s in the league. The closest you’re going to find to his measurements in an NFL OT right now is Alaric Jackson, who is 6’7″ and 285 pounds. You’d have to go back to eras gone by, when OT’s (and players, in general) were smaller, to find someone like Anthony Munoz at 6’6″ and 278 pounds, when that was more of the norm.
On the other side of the line, in the other OT spot, I’m looking for someone with strong, fast hands. Dealing with opposing pass rushers that explode off the snap of the ball means that an OT’s initial “punch” needs to be elite to stop those pass rushers in their place. When I think of a pro wrestler with strong, fast hands that are constantly stopping people in their tracks, I think about Gunther. His measurements make him a bit different than Baron Corbin. At 6’3″ and 297 pounds, Gunther’s weight is slightly closer to a lot of other OT’s in the NFL, but his height could be considered short by many people. He does match up well with current NFL OT’s like Jedrick Wills (6’4″, 307) and Aviante Collins (6’4″, 292), as well as all-time great NFL OT’s like Joe Staley (6’5″, 295), Chris Hinton (6’4″, 300), and Bruce Armstrong (6’4″, 295).
My third OT is someone with similar size issues that Baron Corbin would have to deal with, but even more so because he’s smaller in stature than Corbin. Dijak is 6’7″ and 270 pounds, and again, that’s a really good height for an NFL Offensive Tackle, but he would be a little light in the britches, as the saying goes, for the position. I think his strength and athletic ability will more than make up for the lack of pounds, though. If you’re looking for a size comparison, I already mentioned it… Anthony Munoz is considered one of the greatest Offensive Tackles to ever play the sport, and he possessed a nasty temperament that allowed him to dominate as a blocker. A lot of that mean and nasty personality is what has taken Dijak to this stage in his career, so I think he would do just fine here, even though he isn’t 300+ pounds.
We started on the outer ends of the Offensive Line, and now, it’s time to move our way in. Next up is the Guard position. Lined up against the largest, strongest members of the opposing defenses means that you want your Guards to be able to handle that with strength of their own. It isn’t just about strength, though. The best Guards also possess great footwork, as they’re often responsible for “pull” blocks on runs to the outside, where they’ll back away from the line of scrimmage at the snap of the ball so that they can be the “guide” for the Running Back and take on any defenders outside of the Tackles. Someone that I feel could handle the necessary tasks of a Guard well is Ivar. He’s plenty strong enough, but he moves around the wrestling ring like someone who is much smaller in size. At 6’2″ and 304 pounds, he matches up well with NFL Guards like Ed Ingram (6’3″, 307), Jordan Roos (6’3″, 302), Chris Lindstrom (6’3″, 307), and Pat Elflein (6’2″, 303). Imagine seeing Ivar running at you, full speed, with wide eyes and his beard blowing in the breeze, as he aims to completely flatten you.
My other starter at Guard is also someone who is a beast of a human being, having enough power in his game to be successful, but also having nimble feet to move in the pull game, or to advance to the second and maybe third level of the defense to continue finding blocks. Let’s go with Keith Lee here. The man is built like a house. At 6’2″ and 340 pounds, he is comparable to NFL Guards such as Mike Onwenu (6’3″, 350), Gabe Jackson (6’3″, 336), Will Hernandez (6’2″, 332), and Steve Avila (6’3″, 332). Imagine some poor sucker trying to stop the run, only for Keith Lee to run at him and send him flying through the air like he did to Adam Cole in NXT.
My first backup Guard is “small” compared to the rest of the group, but he’s as mean and as nasty as they come in the wrestling business. Brody King is a terrifying human being in the wrestling ring, and I think he would be a terrifying human being on the football field, too. He’s 6’3″ and 285 pounds, and that’s close enough in size to Ivar, so I won’t repeat the NFL comparisons, but he is another solid combination of pure strength and surprising speed and agility.
The final two backup Guards on my roster are men whose wrestling careers will be connected to each other forever. How about the Authors Of Pain, Akam and Rezar? I get to use these words again, but both members of AOP are mean and nasty in the ring. Akam has a championship background as an amateur wrestler, while Rezar has had a lot of success in the worlds of kickboxing and mixed martial arts. They succeed wherever they go, and I want that to continue on the football field. Akam is almost the exact same size as Brody King, so there’s no need to make NFL comparisons for him. Rezar, on the other hand, is 6’4″ and 330 pounds, which means he’s a measurement match for NFL Guards like Germain Ifedi (6’5″, 325), Austin Jackson (6’5″, 320), Nate Herbig (6’4″, 334), Quenton Nelson (6’5″, 330), Quinn Meinerz (6’3″, 320), and Jermaine Eluemenor (6’4″, 330).
To finish off my Offensive Line, we move to Center. The first thing you notice about the Center is that he’s the one who snaps the ball to the Quarterback on every play. Digging a little further, the Center is also the “leader” of the Offensive Line, and is usually the one responsible with making adjustments for the entire line, based on how the defense is lined up pre-snap. He needs to be smart, but he also needs to be strong, as the Center is often lined up against the defense’s Nose Tackle (in certain schemes). Nose Tackles are almost always the largest and heaviest members on a roster, and they’ll completely overwhelm Centers who don’t possess the right combination of mass and power. My starting Center is none other than Big E. I think he’s more than intelligent enough to handle the adjustments and the chess game that comes with blocking assignments and lining up correctly. As one of the strongest men to ever step foot in a wrestling ring, he’s also more than capable of handling whatever human refrigerators the defense lines up against him. I’m so confident in him succeeding at Center that I am putting him there, even though he would be the smallest Center in the NFL by a good margin. He’s 5’11” and 285 pounds. Of all the Centers currently on an NFL roster, the shortest is Nick Harris at 6’1″, and he weighs 294 pounds, while the lightest is Sean Harlow at 284 pounds, but he’s 6’4″. In the trenches, I would be glad to have Big E’s mental and physical attributes leading the way for my line.
My backup Center is someone who is slightly taller than Big E, but actually weighs even less. Like Big E, though, this guy is strong enough to handle the demands of the Center position. He’s such a powerhouse, in fact, that it’s in his name. Powerhouse Hobbs is the pick here. Go ahead and take a look at Hobbs one time. Now try to think of how many human beings, period, could physically manhandle him, let alone NFL Defensive Linemen. The list is short. Very, very short. Hobbs is 6’1″ and 270 pounds, and if you read what I said in the Big E entry, you know that there aren’t any exact comparisons to make with his size and the sizes of NFL Centers. I’m still confident in his abilities, though.
Congratulations on getting through the entire offense with me. Your reward? Time to learn the identities of my team’s defense!
Defense (4-3 Formation – Starting Lineup of 2 DE, 2 DT, 2 OLB, 1 MLB, 2 CB, 1 FS, 1 SS)
Defensive End is one of the most important positions on a football team. Their primary job is to get to the Quarterback, where, at worst, they can disrupt the timing of a passing play, but at best, they can score themselves a sack and plant the Quarterback on the field. Ideally, in a 4-3 (four Defensive Lineman and three Linebackers) defense, your Ends are strong enough to handle the Offensive Tackle they’re lined up against, but also fast and athletic enough to win their battles in a variety of ways. Some Ends rely on a single pass rush move, but the best can win with power, athletic ability, outright speed, or even intelligence. My first starter is someone who is an absolute freak of nature athlete that knows what it’s like to play on the Defensive Line. Give me Brock Lesnar here, please. This is a man who left the WWE in 2004, then walked in “off the street” to try out for the NFL’s Minnesota Vikings, even though he hadn’t played football in a decade, and was one of the last people cut before the regular season. That’s insane, and it shouldn’t be physically possible. Brock is 6’3″ and 286 pounds. That puts him in line with NFL Defensive Ends such as Emmanuel Ogbah (6’4″, 278), DeMarvin Leal (6’4″, 290), Levi Onwuzurike (6’3″, 290), Adetomiwa Adebawore (6’2″, 282), Cameron Jordan (6’4″, 287), and Dre’Mont Jones (6’3″, 281). I’ll take Lesnar’s physical attributes in this spot, without question. What might be Brock’s best attribute as a DE, though, is his understanding of leverage, balance, and a low center of gravity as a championship amateur wrestler. With Offensive Tackles often being on the taller side, it’s beneficial for Defensive Ends to excel at “playing low” and getting underneath an OT’s pad level, knocking them off-balance.
My other starting Defensive End is another explosive athlete that happens to have a lot of history with football. He played Defensive Tackle in college, eventually signing with multiple NFL teams, although his first battle with leukemia ultimately kept him away, eventually having him land in Canada with the Canadian Football League before he turned to wrestling. Of course, we’re talking about Roman Reigns here. As I said, he did play Defensive Tackle in his football days, but he has also slimmed down a bunch from the 303 pounds he weighed at the NFL Combine after college, so I moved him to the outside. At 6’3″ and 265 pounds, he’s a little smaller than Lesnar, but he still matches up to the measurements of NFL Defensive Ends such as Shaq Lawson (6’3″, 265), Carl Lawson (6’2″, 265), DeMarcus Lawrence (6’3″, 265), Trey Hendrickson (6’4″, 270), Myles Garrett (6’4″, 272), Kwity Paye (6’3″, 265), George Karlaftis (6’4″, 263), and Nick Bosa (6’4″, 266). If you look up and down NFL rosters, you’ll find a ton of DE’s that are right in that range, making Roman the ideal size for the End spot.
For my first backup Defensive End spot, I’m going with someone who may not be the first person that immediately comes to your mind when you think of great athletes for his size, but he deserves to be up there. Drew McIntyre is someone that is big, bad, surprisingly agile, and is tougher than a two-dollar steak. For me, sometimes it’s easy to forget that Drew is 6’5″ and 265 pounds. He’s close enough in size to Roman Reigns that I don’t need to make NFL comparisons here, but it would be a joy seeing Drew fly around the edge after the ball is snapped, with nothing but bad intentions as he closes in on opposing Quarterbacks.
The next backup DE on my roster has a lot of similarities to the names I’ve already placed at this position. He’s 6’3″ and 273 pounds, making him very similar in size to the three Defensive Ends before him, which also means I don’t need to make any NFL comparisons. Like Brock Lesnar, he also has a championship pedigree as an amateur wrestler, so he understands how to “win” in several different ways. He’s also one of the biggest badasses in all of wrestling. Bobby Lashley, I’m talking about you.
My final backup Defensive End is someone who might be a new name to many of you. He has been under AEW contract for at least the last seven months, but has yet to appear on television, wrestling a few dark matches, and making an appearance on AEW YouTube last January. Defensive End is nothing new for him, as he played the position in college and then in the Indoor Football League. This is the spot on my defensive roster for EJ Nduka. If you’ve never seen EJ Nduka before, go and look at his Wikipedia page and see the picture they’re using. The man looks like he is the finished product of something being chiseled out of marble. Then, consider the fact that he’s 6’8″ and 285 pounds. An absolute mountain of a man. There are five Defensive Ends in the NFL that stand 6’7″ tall, but none make it to 6’8″. Of those five men, two come close to Nduka in weight, and that’s Arik Armstead at 290 pounds and Tanoh Kpassagnon at 289 pounds. He’s going to scare the hell out of people when they see him line up against them. Good.
We started on the outside of the Defensive Line, but now, it’s time to move inside to the Defensive Tackle spot. Generally, a Defensive Tackle is a more massive human being than a Defensive End, as the DT is often squaring up with larger Guards and Centers, and perhaps even a double or a triple-team that they need to fight through. Defensive Tackles have different jobs, depending on a scheme and preference of the coaching staff. Some DT’s are pass rushers up the middle. Others are monsters against the run, just daring a Running Back to carry the ball up the middle of the line. Sometimes, you’ll even see Defensive Tackles that seem like they’re only there to eat up double and triple-teams, allowing his teammates to have clear lanes to attack the run or hunt the Quarterback. My first starting DT is going to be Otis. He’s one of the strongest men in all of wrestling today, and he’s going to be successful in shutting down the interior running lanes because of it. The problem is that he isn’t very tall. He’s 330 pounds, which is more than enough for a Defensive Tackle, but at 5’10”, he would be the shortest DT in the NFL. Poona Ford is 5’11”, and he is currently the shortest DT in the league, but he’s also 310 pounds, so Otis has him beat there. I will admit to being slightly cautious about his height here, but I think his strength and overall skill set can help to balance that out.
The other starting Defensive Tackle on my team won’t have the same questions about his height that Otis has. Quite the opposite, actually. From the moment he stepped foot on an NFL field, he would be one of the tallest Defensive Tackles in the league. In the entire NFL, there are seven Defensive Tackles who stand at 6’6″, four that stand at 6’7″, and one that stands at 6’8″. Oba Femi would make for the eighth at 6’6″. That height, plus his weight of 310 pounds, matches him up with NFL DT’s like Chris Jones (6’6″, 310), Gervon Dexter (6’6″, 312), and CJ Okoye (6’6″, 315). A former championship shot putter in college, Oba is not only built like a mountain with hands and feet, but the combination of strength, agility, footwork, and overall athletic explosiveness that it takes to succeed as a shot putter would be greatly beneficial here.
My first of two backup Defensive Tackles is someone who has been everywhere in the world of pro wrestling, and has been successful every step of the way. He is one of the absolute toughest men in the business over the last 20 years, and that will help him succeed in the trenches. Samoa Joe gets the nod here. While Joe is a really good athlete for his size, he is mostly known for being incredibly tough and willing to do whatever it takes to achieve and obtain what he wants. Sometimes, all you need is a player who is going to outwork everyone. At 6’2″ and 282 pounds, Joe is right in line with the size of NFL Defensive Tackles such as Ed Oliver (6’1″, 287), Osa Odighizuwa (6’2″, 280), Shelby Harris (6’2″, 288), Kentavius Street (6’2″, 287), Calijah Kancey (6’1″, 281), and Aaron Donald (6’1″, 280). Every football team needs people like Joe that know they aren’t necessarily bigger, faster, or stronger than who they’re lined up against, but are going to will themselves to win.
For my final backup Defensive Tackle, I’m going back to the power well once again. While this guy has shown some impressive athletic ability for his size, he is definitely more known for his strength and his toughness that are on display at all times. How about we put Miro here? He’s got the strength to handle the job duties of a successful Defensive Tackle, even if some would want a little more height at the position. He’s 6’0″ and 304 pounds, though, which puts him in a solid comparison with NFL Defensive Tackles like Tanzel Smart (6’1″, 295), Travis Bell (6’1″, 305), Andrew Billings (6’1″, 311), Kyle Peko (6’1″, 305), Deadrin Senat (6’1″, 305), and DJ Jones (6’0″, 305). He’ll put the work in, and we know he can do it, because every day is Miro Day, after all.
Time to move on to the Outside Linebacker position. It’s another spot that requires versatile players, as different schemes, coaches, and opponents can use their OLB’s in different ways. Sometimes, an OLB will be used to blitz and provide additional pass rush pressure on opposing Quarterbacks. Other times, an OLB will be used in pass coverage, working against the opposing Tight End, Running Back, or even a Wide Receiver. My two starting OLB’s are going to be listed together, because… well… you can’t talk about one without mentioning the other, and this is something they’ve dealt with since the moment they were born. Jimmy and Jey Uso are the picks here. This won’t be anything new for them, as they played Linebacker all the way up to the college level. Jimmy is slightly larger at 6’3″ and 252 pounds, so I would have him lined up in the “Sam” spot, against the strong side of the offense, in case he needs to deal with the opponent’s Tight End in coverage. His measurements put him in the same category as NFL OLB’s like Melvin Ingram (6’2″, 250), Micah Parsons (6’3″, 245), Kyle Van Noy (6’3″, 244), K’Lavon Chaisson (6’3″, 245), and Shaquil Barrett (6’2″, 250). Jey, on the other hand, is 6’2″ and 242 pounds, so he still matches up with those same names, but he’ll be in the “Will” spot, lined up against the weaker side of the offense.
If you thought the Fatu family was done being represented on my squad, I have some bad news for you. My first backup Outside Linebacker spot is going to Solo Sikoa. At 6’2″ and 249 pounds, Jimmy and Jey’s little brother is right there with them with the measurables, but he’s an absolute wildman in the ring, and I think that would translate to the football field. He’s quick enough and agile enough to work in coverage, but he’s tough enough and crazy enough to work as a dangerous part of a blitz package.
My final Outside Linebacker isn’t a member of the Anoa’i family tree, unfortunately, although he does have a major career tie to one of the family’s most famous members. This man might be legitimately out of his mind, willing to go above and beyond whatever it takes to get a win in the wrestling ring. Jon Moxley, it’s your turn to be showcased. Whatever I would need him to do on the football field, I have complete confidence in Mox to get done. Trail and cover a Running Back coming out of the backfield? Done. Get to the Quarterback and knock him on his ass? Done. Maneuver through the flotsam and jetsam of big bodies on the line to attack the run? Done. At 6’4″ and 225 pounds, his measurables are somewhat unique for the position, as he’s a little taller than most of the OLB’s who match his weight. He is a close match to current NFL OLB’s such as Jabril Cox (6’3″, 235), Jamin Davis (6’3″, 234), EJ Speed (6’4″, 227), Zack Baun (6’3″, 225), and Divine Deablo (6’3″, 223), though. Mox would probably play football without a helmet if you let him. Imagine how much he would bleed then.
Middle Linebacker is another very important position. More often than not, a team’s MLB is their defensive leader, and like the Quarterback on offense, is probably the one calling the shots for the defense. Middle Linebackers aren’t exactly known for their participation in blitz packages as a pass rusher, but they need to be big and strong to help against the run, while also being athletic enough to drop back in coverage when things call for it. Randy Orton is going to be my starter at MLB. He has the size, toughness, and agility to handle the “Mike” Linebacker spot. At 6’5″ and 250 pounds, he matches up with current NFL Middle Linebackers like Tremaine Edmunds (6’5″, 250), Quay Walker (6’4″, 241), and Anthony Barr (6’5″, 257). He is a bit taller than the average MLB in the league, but I think his measurables, and his overall leadership qualities, will help to balance that out.
My backup Middle Linebacker is more of a match, height-wise, to your normal NFL MLB. While he isn’t going to tower over anyone, he will make up for it by being one of the most athletic players on the field, if not the most athletic. His combination of strength, speed, agility, and athletic ability makes him a human cheat code in the ring, and there’s no reason to believe it wouldn’t also make him one on the field. Apollo Crews, you’re up. At 6’1″ and 240 pounds, he is definitely more of what the NFL likes to see at the position. His height and weight have him match up well with current NFL Middle Linebackers like Bobby Okereke (6’1″, 235), Shaquille Leonard (6’2″, 234), Roquan Smith (6’1″, 236), Patrick Queen (6’0″, 232), Devin White (6’0″, 237), Lavonte David (6’1″, 233), Kenneth Murray (6’2″, 241), and Bobby Wagner (6’0″, 242). Those are some of the best players the position has seen in recent years, so I’m pretty confident in my pick.
Time to move on to the defensive secondary, starting off with the Cornerback position. These are the guys that are responsible for covering the opposing Wide Receivers. An ideal Cornerback is fast, incredibly agile, and possesses great instincts. He needs to run with the WR without knowing the routes, and he needs to know how to keep an eye on the Quarterback and the football if at all possible. Everything at CB is fast paced, white-knuckle action, and it’s a position that requires a lot of swagger. Sounds like Carmelo Hayes to me. As my first starting CB, he’s going to be responsible for shadowing the best Wide Receiver on the opposing roster week in and week out, but that’s fine, because Melo don’t miss. At 5’10” and 210 pounds, he matches up quite nicely with NFL Cornerbacks like Cam Taylor-Britt (5’11”, 202), Desmond King (5’10”, 200), and Deommodore Lenoir (5’10”, 200). Melo carries more mass on his frame than most Cornerbacks of his height, but if you’ve seen him move around a wrestling ring for more than two minutes, you’ve seen that it doesn’t hurt his athletic ability at all.
My other starting Cornerback is rarely going to be the largest man in any matchup on the football field, but he’s used to it, because he’s rarely the largest man in any wrestling match he participates in. He can make up for it easily with blazing speed and the type of athletic ability that will blow you away. His leaping ability will definitely come in handy when he’s attacking the football in the air against a larger Wide Receiver. This is the right spot for Wes Lee. Again, at 5’9″ and 190 pounds, he’s not a huge physical specimen, but he doesn’t need to be. That size is a match to NFL Cornerbacks like Kader Kohou (5’10, 195), Marcus Jones (5’8″, 188), Mike Hilton (5’9″, 184), Jaire Alexander (5’10”, 196), Kenny Moore (5’9″, 190), Asante Samuel Jr. (5’10”, 180), and Jason Verrett (5’10”, 188).
For my first two backup Cornerbacks, I’m going to make it a family affair. When these two are healthy, they’re some of the most exciting wrestlers in the entire business to watch, and it’s all because of their speed and athletic ability. I had to mention their health, because they don’t have the best of luck when it comes to that type of thing. Of course, I’m talking about Darius and Dante Martin. Darius is slightly larger in size, coming in at 6’1″ and 189 pounds, compared to his brother’s 5’11” and 187 pounds. That’s close enough for me to group them together when it comes to making NFL comparisons. Their size means they match up well with NFL Cornerbacks like Tre’Davious White (5’11”, 192), Darius Slay (6’0″, 190), Denzel Ward (5’11”, 190), Greg Newsome (6’0″, 192), Byron Murphy Jr. (5’11”, 190), Derek Stingley Jr. (6’0″, 190), AJ Terrell (6’1″, 195), Marshon Lattimore (6’0″, 192), Trent McDuffie (5’11”, 193), L’Jarius Sneed (6’1″, 192), and Devon Witherspoon (6’0″, 185).
My final backup Cornerback is someone that is a great combination of speed and physicality. He isn’t the largest man in the game, but he often “plays” a lot bigger than he is. Cedric Alexander would make for a good addition to the team. At 5’10” and 205, he’s almost the exact same size as Carmelo Hayes, so I won’t make any NFL comparisons. Like I said, though, Cedric is someone who hits a lot harder, and is a lot more physical, than many wrestlers his size. At the same time, he remains one of the best high-flying acts in all of wrestling. That type of versatility will allow him to be used in multiple ways, assigned to cover just about anyone that opponents line up on the field.
Next up is the Strong Safety position. In the 4-3 defense that I’m deploying, the Strong Safety is a physical presence in the defensive backfield. He is required to be active against the run, which means he needs to be large enough to handle that assignment, but he also needs to be capable of pass coverage against opposing Tight Ends and Wide Receivers across the middle. If you’re looking for someone large enough to be a dominant physical presence, but fast and athletic enough to handle pass coverage, why not look for perhaps the biggest freak of nature in the business today? Julius Creed gets the call here. He jumps and flies around the ring like a luchadore, but uses his strength to completely manhandle opponents like he was a super heavyweight. On the football field, that type of play could be a true joy to watch. He’s 6’3″ and 229 pounds, so he matches up with NFL Strong Safeties like Kyle Dugger (6’2″, 222), Kyle Hamilton (6’4″, 220), and Jeremy Chinn (6’3″, 220). I really and truly believe Julius could be a one-man wrecking crew for my defense.
My first backup Strong Safety is someone who is another great blend of speed, athleticism, and a desire for physicality. He’s nowhere near the size of Julius Creed, but he has shown repeatedly that he is one of the hardest hitters in the wrestling business. I have a feeling that his physicality and how he strives for excellence will work out well on the football field. I’m talking about Kenny Omega, of course. At 6’0″ and 218 pounds, he’s a close match to NFL Strong Safeties such as Kevin Byard (5’11”, 212) and Jamal Adams (6’1″, 213).
For my last backup Strong Safety spot, I went with an absolute wild card that isn’t going to make a lot of sense to many of you. Hell, it might not make a lot of sense to me, but the idea of it happening makes me smile, and I would pay good money to see it happen for real. Let’s put Darby Allin in this spot. At 5’8″ and 175 pounds, he would be a very small Strong Safety. The shortest Strong Safeties in the NFL right now are all 5’10”, and there’s seven of them, none of whom weigh less than 192 pounds. When it comes to weight, the lightest Strong Safety in the league is 174 pounds, but he’s 5’11”. All I want to see is for Darby to take his entire 175-pound frame and use it as a weapon to attack anyone who has a football in their hands. Like Jon Moxley, Darby would probably play football without a helmet, but only if you dared him to.
The final position we’ll be covering here is Free Safety. While the Strong Safety is usually someone close to the line of scrimmage, getting involved in the run game a lot, the Free Safety is lined up at least ten yards away from the line of scrimmage. He is literally and figuratively the last line of defense against opposing ballcarriers that have managed to escape the Defensive Line, Linebackers, and the rest of the Secondary. A good Free Safety is smart, and is also physical enough to be a sure tackler. He needs to be able to handle coverage assistance for Cornerbacks who have been beaten on a route, or even to handle coverage on his own for extra Wide Receiver sets. My starter is going to be Will Ospreay. He has the speed and physicality that is necessary for the FS position, but he is also one of the most dependable wrestlers in the business today. You’re not going to get an all-time classic from him tonight and then a complete dud tomorrow. If I can depend on him, I can have him freely roam the field to do what is needed of him on any given play. There aren’t any real NFL size comparisons you can make for him, though. He’s 6’1″ and 232 pounds, and that makes him a bit heavier than any Free Safety in the league right now. Adrian Amos is 218 pounds (and 6’0″), making him the heaviest FS in the league right now, so he would be as close of a comparison as there is.
My backup Free Safety is someone who is an easy comparison for Will Ospreay, and has been for years. Not only are they almost the exact same size, but many people feel they’ve been 1A and 1B as far as the best wrestlers in the business over the last several years. I’m going with Seth Rollins here. If we’re being honest about it, you could make Rollins the starter over Ospreay with no issues. Like Ospreay, I think Rollins has the speed and the physicality needed for the Free Safety position, but my favorite attribute of his here is his dependability. I don’t think I would have questions about whether or not he could make the tackles needed, or make the coverage adjustments required. That’s very important. He’s 6’1″ and 225 pounds, which makes him almost the exact same size as Ospreay, like I mentioned, so I won’t do any comparisons here. I think Seth would be a tremendously valuable addition to my defense, whether he’s the starter or not.
There you have it. I went into as much detail as I could, not only to help people understand what the hell I was talking about, but also to explain all of my selections. How did I do? Does anyone in particular stand out to you, either for a positive or a negative reason? As always, feel free to hit me up in the comments section below, or on Twitter (@HustleTheSavage), and let me know what’s on your mind.
Now, let’s move on to a (hopefully) shortened version of my Weekly Power Rankings before finishing things off for the week with the playlist of music I was listening to as I put this column together.
Weekly Power Rankings
FTR & Daniel Garcia vs The House Of Black: If there’s one thing you can expect from an episode of Collision, it’s some sort of tag match that will receive a really good amount of time and end up being something super entertaining. That’s what this was.
“Hangman” Adam Page vs Claudio Castagnoli: I’m a sucker for a really good back-and-forth wrestling match that puts an emphasis on counters and reversals.
Sting & Darby Allin vs Konosuke Takeshita & Powerhouse Hobbs: The match was a lot of fun. That’s obvious, based on where I have it ranked here. However, Takeshita and Hobbs are in a situation right now where they need to be built up by winning matches. It’s ridiculous to put them in this spot. There are a million other wrestlers who can lose to Sting and Darby right now. Oh, and also, can we have Sting tone it down a bit? Let’s make sure he actually makes it to his retirement match, shall we?
Cody Rhodes vs Shinsuke Nakamura: Another entertaining match between the two. Maybe Nakamura can move on to a feud that will see him win a match or two next.
Ricky Starks & Big Bill vs Chris Jericho & Sammy Guevara: This might’ve been the first match in the history of AEW Battle Of The Belts shows that I felt a title could actually change hands. There would’ve been a good amount of complaints online (shocking, I know) if Jericho would’ve won a title right now, but my point remains.
R-Truth: He continues his hilarious work with The Judgment Day by narrating an entertaining video package that shows how he was always destined to be with the group and just how close they are. The best part was probably the rundown of the group members, which included “Tom and Nick Mysterio” and mentioning that he’s never met Nick, but that Nick is still his brother.
Bianca Belair vs Bayley: It feels like forever since we’ve seen a women’s match in WWE get this much time on television when a title wasn’t involved. It also feels like forever since we’ve seen Bianca lose. Upon looking it up, it has been a little over two months since she lost a match that wasn’t on a house show. It was one of only three matches she lost in 2023, keeping a trend where she only loses a handful of matches in any given year. There has already been growing backlash against her online because of that. We’ve even seen live crowds work against her, depending on the opponent and the venue. There’s a chance this could turn into another John Cena or Roman Reigns situation, where live crowds completely turn on her because she never loses.
Orange Cassidy vs Preston Vance: This was Preston Vance’s best week with AEW because of the Brodie Lee tributes. I like that, because he’s a very talented in-ring performer. My only question is whether or not his push continues moving forward, or if it was just a one-week “feel good” thing because of the Brodie mentions.
Oba Femi: I called for him to win the men’s Breakout Tournament, and he did. What I didn’t see coming, however, was him almost immediately turning that into winning the NXT North American Title. It’s an amazing turnaround for someone who had wrestled a grand total of one match on television before the tournament began, and even now, has only wrestled on television five times.
Joaquin Wilde & Cruz Del Toro vs Angel Garza & Humberto Carrillo: Entertaining stuff, but I think things are jogging in place until the return of Rey Mysterio and/or the return of Andrade to beef the feud up a bit.
Adam Copeland, Orange Cassidy, Dustin Rhodes & Preston Vance vs Lance Archer, Brian Cage, Toa Liona & Bishop Kaun: This was the start of Vance’s week. A well done eight-man tag that featured quite the eclectic mix of competitors.
TNA Wrestling: I haven’t had time to watch Hard To Kill yet (I hope to later today), but I like the direction that the company is going in. The rebranding back to TNA in the first place, followed by the Digital Media Title, Knockouts Tag Team Titles, Knockouts Title, and TNA World Title all changing hands. Throw in a big addition of Nic Nemeth to the roster, and it’s a new era in TNA. I dig it.
Adam Copeland vs Lee Moriarty: There are two opinions about what Copeland has been doing recently. Some people feel him working longer, back-and-forth matches with “lesser” members of the AEW roster is a great way to boost the profiles of those talents. Others feel him working those matches makes him look bad because it’s “taking too long” to defeat names that others discard of quickly. I’m in the former category. I get where the latter folks are coming from, and I do think that they would have more of a point if Adam Copeland were a younger wrestler. The fact that he’s 50-years-old with the mileage on his body that he has works in the favor of the storyline. If it actually helps to build people like Lee Moriarty? Even better.
Eddie Kingston vs Wheeler Yuta: Eddie just continues to have entertaining matches. He isn’t asked to do a ton, but he delivers nonetheless.
Dark Side Of The Ring: The show has been renewed for another season. Do you think Chris Jericho will be asked to narrate an episode on himself?
This Week’s Playlist: “KEEP BOUNCIN” by Kid Cudi… “Sun/Son” by Jhene Aiko… “Beautiful People (Stay High)” by The Black Keys… “02.02.99” by That Mexican OT… “Triumph” by Bishop Briggs… “Bitter Sweet Love” by James Arthur… “Keeping Secrets” by Fit For A King… “A Different Shade Of Misery” by Acres… “BED OF NAILS” by Florence Black… “FDB” by Young Dro… “Summer Love” by Justin Timberlake… “White Iverson” by Post Malone… “I Fall Apart” by Post Malone… “rockstar” by Post Malone & 21 Savage… “Psycho” by Post Malone & Ty Dolla $ign… “Better” by Khalid… “To The Hellfire” by Lorna Shore… “Cold” by Static-X… “New Disease” by Spineshank… “Rope” by 40 Below Summer… “A Violent Reaction” by American Head Charge… “Down” by Motograter… “Murder” by UGK… “Breathe” by The Prodigy… “Fast Car” by Luke Combs