As of this very second, it has been about 48 hours since AEW Revolution went off-the-air, and it is still a major talking point (for several reasons) on social media.
All that blood.
William Motherfucking Regal.
Eddie Kingston winning the “big one.”
CM Punk dipping into the archives to bring back an old look and entrance theme.
Sw3rve Strickland.
A tag team classic.
Sting, a 238-year-old man, jumping SMOOTH the fuck off of a balcony.
Jade Cargill and Tay Conti kissing. Twice.
That’s not the entire list, but right now, I want to (hopefully briefly) talk about one particular aspect of the pay-per-view. It’s something that happens during every single AEW pay-per-view, as a matter of fact.
They’re too long.
Way too fucking long.
Okay, okay… chill out. Some of you felt your eyes twitch when you read that, the same way they twitch whenever you read or hear someone say anything even remotely negative about AEW. Just take a few moments… breathe… relax. I’m not taking a steamy dump all over the company.
Some of you are already preparing your “WWE has done really long shows, too” responses, and I will fully agree with you on that one. There were a few years running when WrestleMania was bordering on being tortuously long, especially for those in attendance. WrestleMania 35 saw a two-hour pre-show, followed by a FIVE-HOUR-AND-TWENTY-MINUTE main show. Add in the time that people spend getting to the venue, tailgating before the show, entering the venue, finding their way to their seats, and sitting in their seats before the show begins… fucking hell, you’re looking at an all-day thing, and that’s not counting people who went to Axxess or any of the independent shows in town that day. That doesn’t make any sense.
No, Revolution wasn’t as long as WrestleMania 35, but there’s a thing that getting punched in the face and getting kicked in the testicles have in common. They both hurt. One hurts more than the other, but they both hurt.
I’ve enjoyed almost every AEW pay-per-view, and this year’s edition of Revolution was no different. If you read my Running Diary of the event, you’d see that. Lots of stuff to enjoy, and I gave out plenty of stars in my match ratings. These four hour shows are really taxing, though. Whether I’m writing a column or not, that’s a long time to sit down and watch wrestling, even if that wrestling is good.
If I try to look at things from the perspective of Tony Khan and those in charge of AEW, I understand the long shows. First of all, it isn’t a four-hour show every month. There are only four AEW pay-per-views in a calendar year, so you want to pack as much as you can onto each show. The biggest matches, the biggest stars, and all that jazz. I get it.
It just isn’t necessary.
I’m about to make some of your eyes twitch again, so consider this a fair warning.
Do you know who had the perfect formula for pay-per-views and shows of that nature?
NXT.
Look at the first few years of NXT Takeover events. Counting the shows under that name and the more recent events that didn’t feature the “Takeover” branding, NXT has put on a total of 38 shows over the last eight years. In those 38 shows, there hasn’t been a single one of them that featured more than six matches on the main show. Most of the shows had five matches, and you’d get two or two-and-a-half hours of run time. That’s it. The best part about those shows, especially those in the middle years, is that you’d have banger after banger. In a normal Takeover, you’d get a super crazy show opener to get the crowd revved up, then you’d follow that up with a couple titles matches and/or blood feuds, and then you’d cap it off with an NXT Title match, which was usually a blood feud of its own.
Like AEW pay-per-views, NXT Takeover shows didn’t happen every month., as evidenced by the whole “38 shows in eight years” stat I mentioned. Those in charge of NXT through the years have felt the same pressure as Tony Khan and the AEW Executive Vice Presidents to make sure the shows were as stacked as possible, both in match quality and star power. They found a way to make it work time and time again, though. Very rarely would you see a Takeover card that didn’t feature every major male star on the roster, to go with the hottest (or two hottest) women’s feuds, being represented.
You’re telling me AEW couldn’t do that? Revolution featured nine matches on the main card, and according to my DVR, the show had a total runtime of 3:54. While Jade Cargill is being presented as one of the biggest stars on the AEW roster, there was absolutely no reason for her match with Tay Conti to be on pay-per-view, as there was little-no-to build for it, with little-to-no doubt in anybody’s mind as to who would win. The six-man Tornado Tag didn’t need to be on the show, either. It was a better match than many viewers expected it to be, but let’s be honest with each other… the 2022 version of Matt Hardy isn’t something people are looking to watch until the 2022 version of Jeff Hardy inevitably arrives in AEW. Counting entrances, match times, and the minimal post-match stuff, you could’ve removed about 28 minutes of runtime without those two matches on the show, bringing us down to an overall time of 3:26.
Here’s where this gets tricky for me. When you take those two matches off, the only way you can really remove anything else would be to look at things with the joys and wonders of hindsight. Every other main show match “belonged” there when you looked at the card going into Revolution. If you look at it with hindsight, the other match that really sticks out was Britt Baker vs Thunder Rosa. If AEW was just planning on building to Thunder Rosa winning the AEW Women’s Title in her current city of residence… San Antonio, Texas… they could’ve done that on television. A WWF Attitude Era-style overbooked match with interference and more interference? That could’ve happened on Dynamite or Rampage, followed by the setup for Rosa getting her rematch in a Steel Cage or something along those lines on the March 16th episode of Dynamite in San Antonio.
Do you see the problem with removing that match from Revolution, though?
Yes, the removal of that match would’ve taken another 22-plus minutes off of the runtime, bringing Revolution down to a six-match show that lasted about 3:03, but without the Women’s Title and TBS Title matches, there would be no women on the show. In this day and age, just imagine the shit storm that would come AEW’s way if they had a pay-per-view with no women on it, especially considering the company’s spotty history when it comes to presenting the women on the roster as something special.
If you can’t remove the match from the show, just make it where the title changes hands, and maybe shave a couple minutes off of the final product. Make the match mean more. Thunder Rosa can be the Women’s Champion going into the San Antonio show. That’s fine.
A seven-match main card that could clock in at around the 3:15-3:20 mark if things could be trimmed here and there? That might not sound like a world of difference from nine matches and a runtime of 3:54, but it really is. Like I said, I do understand why Tony Khan feels the need to stack these shows the way he does. I really, really get it. It’s a byproduct of having 27,000 people under contract, with new additions popping up all the time. He NEEDS to put all of the big stars on the show. They NEED to go balls and labias to the wall every single show. He NEEDS it. NEEDS it.
Not every show needs to be a WrestleMania-like spectacle. The AEW fan base is so loyal, so rabid, and so invested in the product that they’re going to accept “less” and they’ll accept it with open arms. You can’t tell me otherwise. Had Revolution been a five or six match card, that live crowd still would’ve been molten hot from start-to-finish, and the match quality still would’ve been great.
Are you guys ready for some more eye twitching?
This has all the makings of a Little Brother Syndrome when it comes to Tony Khan and AEW. Say whatever you want about the “rivalry” between WWE and AEW, but WWE is still the top dog in the wrestling business in just about every aspect that matters most at the end of the day. They’re the bigger promotion with more television viewers, more reach, more income, more profits, and so on. Whether or not you view them as the “better” promotion is irrelevant. TK seems like he has to go completely over-the-top in every way to try and show the world that AEW is the best. MORE this, MORE that, LOOK AT ME, LOOK OVER HERE, LOOK AT WHAT WE’RE DOING. It’s not necessary. The AEW product speaks for itself. Is it perfect? No, of course not. I’m just saying that it’s a lot to deal with, especially for new and/or casual fans. That’s probably at least part of why television viewership for AEW has been pretty much the same from day one, hovering in the 900,000-1,000,000 range every week. They’re not really losing viewers, but they aren’t really gaining any, either. It’s like I said… you have the hardcore fans that are going to ride with AEW, no matter what. That’s great. What’s going to be done to make sure to grab those new eyeballs, though?
Size really does matter, but in this case, it’s the opposite of the old line about manhood. In this instance, it really is about the motion in the ocean, and not the size of the boat.
Weekly Power Rankings
- Jurassic Express vs The Young Bucks vs reDRagon: No need to say too much about anything that happened at Revolution since I already talked about it all in my Running Diary. I’ll just say that this was a fantastic, frenetic tag match. The building drama between the Bucks and reDRagon continued on, and the champions got to pick up a very strong victory.
- Alpha Academy vs RK-Bro vs Seth Rollins & Kevin Owens: Not to be outdone, WWE delivered their own three-way tag match that tore the fucking house down. Another match where everyone involved got their time and chance to look good. I’m a little disappointed that Chad Gable and Otis, who have been crazy good lately, didn’t get more than 56 days as the Raw Tag Team Champions, but Randy Orton and Riddle are still a really hot act that can do a lot for those titles.
- Jon Moxley vs Bryan Danielson: Moxley didn’t want to team with anybody that he didn’t bleed with first. Well, he bled with Danielson here. The post-match stuff with William Regal was so, so good. I’m very interested to see how this all unfolds. I’m already on record saying that I would love to see Moxley and Danielson team up, especially if it’s with people like Lee Moriarty and Daniel Garcia by their side, but with William Regal? My God. Put me down for two.
- “Hangman” Adam Page vs Adam Cole: I’ve already seen some complaints about this one not quite being on the level of Page’s previous title defenses, but damn, even if that’s the case, this was still a really good, smartly put together match. I have no doubt that Cole will eventually be the AEW World Champion. It just isn’t his time yet.
- Sammy Guevara vs Darby Allin vs Andrade El Idolo: Oh, hey, another wild match in AEW that featured a blistering pace with non-stop action. If that’s your thing, and I fail to see why it wouldn’t be, then this match was for you. In his second reign as the TNT Champion, Sammy has a chance to really build something special. He’s on fire. Now, will AEW allow his reign to last, or will it be another short reign in the title’s brief history? Of the seven reigns before this one, five of them lasted no more than three months. Sammy is currently at the six-week mark, so we’ll see.
- Vince McMahon on The Pat McAfee Show: What a fascinating interview. We, as fans, have rarely ever seen Vince McMahon in this type of setting, answering questions and coming across as an actual living, breathing human being. It was so much more than we could’ve expected when it was first announced. We were all waiting for Austin Theory to show up and attack McAfee, but WWE smartly held that off until Smackdown instead.
- CM Punk vs MJF: It was every bit as violent as it needed to be. I totally marked out for Punk’s “Miseria Cantare” throwback entrance, and no, I’m not about to hop in and participate in the stupid fucking discussion taking place on social media about whether or not you’re supposed to know about Punk’s Ring Of Honor days, blah blah blah. You fuckers are weird.
- Bron Breakker vs Tommaso Ciampa vs Dolph Ziggler: Dolph winning the NXT Title here has to be one of the more surprising results in NXT history, right? These three work so well together, but damn… Vince McMahon gets one look at Breakker on Raw and falls in love with him to the point that Bron drops the title out of nowhere the next day? Jeez. I kid. Kind of.
- Eddie Kingston vs Chris Jericho: The right man won. A very physical affair, with both men dumping each other on their heads and throwing tons of stiff shots. Now that the story of Kingston not being able to win big matches has been taken care of, I have to wonder if a title is in his future.
- “Stone Cold” Steve Austin: There’s just something about this man cutting any sort of promo that really makes you pay attention. Even at the age of 57, he’s still “got it” when it comes to this promo thing. The original rumor of Austin returning for a match against Kevin Owens at WrestleMania looks like it has turned into Austin returning for an appearance on The KO Show at WrestleMania, but that makes a lot more sense.
- Tony Khan Buys Ring Of Honor: I was originally planning on writing about this story for this week’s column, but I had to get my thoughts out about Revolution instead. I might write about Tony Khan purchasing Ring Of Honor soon, or I may not, but I’ll say this… I am EAGERLY anticipating news on what TK plans on doing with the RoH video library.
- Pac, Penta Oscuro & Erick Redbeard vs Malakai Black, Buddy Matthews & Brody King: One of the better pay-per-view pre-show matches in AEW history. I was curious to see how well Redbeard could “hang” with what I expected to be another insanely fast-paced match, but he busted his ass here and didn’t bring things down at all. Shout-out to the guy on Twitter who said AEW should have Rey Fenix return by jumping out of Redbeard’s… red… beard.
- Sting: The man is 251 years old. He’s out here in these streets diving from balconies and participating in wild brawls like he has been possessed by the ghost of New Jack. Wut.
- LA Knight vs Grayson Waller: There aren’t many moves in all of wrestling right now that look cooler than Waller dribbling a fake basketball between his legs twice before dropping an elbow on someone. Him doing it once would be cool, but him doing it twice? That shows the amount of air he gets.
- Christopher Daniels vs Bryan Danielson: Christopher Daniels, ugly eye and all, returned to AEW for his first match there in ten months, and it was to face his old Ring Of Honor foe, Bryan Danielson. Lots of nostalgia here. Daniels turns 52 in a couple weeks, but he showed that he can still “go” in the ring.
- Ricochet: A report comes out that says Ricochet is viewed internally by WWE as one of the top faces on the Smackdown brand. Then, he defeats Sami Zayn to become the brand new Intercontinental Champion. Makes sense. He has been criminally underutilized for so long, so it will be interesting to see where this new push goes. I guess there’s still time for Sami to get the title back, but for now, thank goodness Sami vs Johnny Knoxville at WrestleMania won’t involve the title. The match didn’t need it at all.
- Vader: He was officially announced as the second member of this year’s WWE Hall Of Fame class. It’s long overdue, and unfortunately, will be happening posthumously. One of the greatest “big man” wrestlers of all-time, he was also one of the most feared performers ever, notoriously making enhancement talent leave the building back in the day when they’d arrive to the arena and see that they were scheduled to face him. I’d love to see Mick Foley, one of Vader’s biggest rivals in WCW, induct him. While we’re here, the rumor is that Sid Vicious will be inducted this year, too. Sid is my all-time favorite “guilty pleasure” wrestler, so I’d love to see that.
- Top Flight: While Darius Martin was on the shelf for a full year with a knee injury, his brother, Dante, raised his profile with a lot of exciting performances. Now that Darius is back, Top Flight is automatically in a much better position than they were a year ago. I’m excited to see them climb the rankings in the tag division again.
- Sw3rve Strickland: He’s got everything it takes to be a top tier player in AEW. Of course, you can say that about 938 different people currently on their roster, so we’ll see how that plays out. I’m still excited to see him again, though.
- WWE 2K22: I haven’t played the game yet, but I’ve seen almost nothing but positive reviews from people who have. They’re not saying it’s the Video Game Of The Year or anything, but a much needed step in the right direction for WWE video games, and a huge improvement over WWE 2K20, which has been called one of the worst wrestling games ever.
This Week’s Playlist: “Leave You Alone” by Kane Brown… “Last Call” by Khalid… “Twenties” by Ghost… “Backstage” by KXNG Crooked & Joell Ortiz… “Still Here” by Morray & Cordae… “Poster Child” by Red Hot Chili Peppers… “Slow Down” by Bobby Valentino… “Boo’d Up” by Ella Mai… “Da Introduction” by Bone Thugs N Harmony… “East 1999” by Bone Thugs N Harmony… “Down ’71 (The Getaway)” by Bone Thugs N Harmony… “1st Of Tha Month” by Bone Thugs N Harmony… “Spaceship” by Rebel Souljahz… “Interstate Love Song” by Stone Temple Pilots… “Lovely Day” by Bill Withers… “Everlong” by Foo Fighters… “Are You Gonna Go My Way” by Lenny Kravitz… “Fly Away” by Lenny Kravitz… “No Rain” by Blind Melon… “Uprising” by Muse… “Country Grammar (Hot Shit)” by Nelly… “E.I.” by Nelly… “When Doves Cry” by Prince… “Margaritaville” by Jimmy Buffet… “Walk This Way” by Run-DMC & Aerosmith