The WWE shows in Saudi Arabia are guaranteed to have people talking, one way or another. What does Elimination Chamber have in store for us? Let’s find out together, shall we?
Are you ready?
Because I’m ready.
So, if you’re ready and I’m ready, there’s only one thing left to do. Say it with me, folks…
LESS DEW EET!!!
(0:02) As usual, Saudi Arabia gets a pretty stacked card. There’s a lot of potential here. We’ll have to see how that plays out, of course.
(0:05) Michael Cole says tonight’s crowd is “late-arriving” but he promises the show is sold out. Hmm… sounds like we’re making excuses already.
(0:06) We’re kicking things off with the Universal Title match. Roman Reigns defends the title against Goldberg. In my last column, I mentioned that I had a sneaking suspicion about this match. I hope WWE isn’t silly enough to give Goldberg the title here, but hey, this is WWE we’re talking about.
(0:10) I never get tired of hearing Roman’s entrance music. It’s perfectly epic and over-the-top for this version of his character.
(0:13) Lengthy entrance, followed by what should be a lengthy entrance. Oh… but not before Reigns cuts a pre-match promo, apparently. Well, just one line, anyway. He wants the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia to acknowledge him.
(0:14) Once again, WWE ruins things by cutting to shots of a crowd not making any noise while loud “GOLD-BERG” chants are heard. Kevin Dunn is fucking worthless. The WWE product will be infinitely better once he finally croaks.
(0:16) Hooray! Now we get the ring introductions!
(0:17) Sounds like the crowd is more behind Reigns than Goldberg. As they fucking should be.
(0:18) The bell finally rings to get this one started.
(0:20) Goldberg hits a Spear! Reigns slips out of a Jackhammer attempt and hits Goldberg with a Uranage, though. On commentary, Corey Graves makes sure to call it a “Rock Bottom-like maneuver” which makes everyone raise an eyebrow. Pun intended.
(0:22) Spear #2 for Goldberg! Reigns slips out of another Jackhammer attempt, locking Goldberg in a Guillotine. Goldberg appears to be cut somewhere on the top of his head.
(0:24) Goldberg passes out, and Reigns retains his title. There really wasn’t a ton to that match. It was only a few minutes long, and a good chunk of that was spent on a staredown in the very beginning. I don’t think I can give that a grade. There just isn’t enough to critique. I’m just happy that the right man won, and now, I hope we don’t see Goldberg again. Ever. For any reason.
(0:28) Next up is the Women’s Elimination Chamber, with the winner going on to challenge for the Raw Women’s Title at WrestleMania. Always very interesting to see how the Saudi Arabia crowds react to the women.
(0:33) Bianca Belair got the first entrance, and she got a decent reaction. Doudrop came out next, and you could see that nobody was reacting.
(0:34) Rhea Ripley’s crowd reaction wasn’t as bad as the one Doudrop got, but what we saw certainly didn’t match up to what we heard. It sure seems like we’re getting some sweetened crowd reactions today.
(0:36) Nikki A.S.H. comes out to some loud heel heat, and we see nobody in the crowd moving or doing much of anything. Sigh.
(0:38) More of the same for Liv Morgan’s entrance.
(0:39) Even Alexa Bliss gets the same treatment. Please, please, please… for my sanity… no more of the hocus pocus mumbo jumbo with Alexa. Alexa’s pod has a swing inside of it. Okay then.
(0:41) Liv and Nikki are the ones starting the match off.
(0:43) After not much of anything happening in the opening portion, Doudrop is the next entrant.
(0:44) To the surprise of nobody, Doudrop has been a wrecking ball since walking out of her pod. She has been beating both Liv and Nikki down with her power game.
(0:45) Rhea Ripley is the next woman to enter the match, and Nikki immediately tries to escape the Chamber. Some superhero she is!
(0:47) Riptide to Nikki, and we have our first elimination. Not much to the match for Nikki.
(0:48) Alexa Bliss is now in the match, and a flurry of offense for her gets an honest-to-goodness face pop from the crowd!
(0:50) Liv hits Doudrop with a Sunset Flip Powerbomb from the top rope to get an elimination. Beautifully done.
(0:50) Bianca enters the match, and we’re down to our final four.
(0:51) A random “this is awesome” chant breaks out. Sweetened or not? You be the judge. We didn’t really get a shot of the crowd during the chant, so it’s hard to say.
(0:52) Bianca and Rhea going to war in the middle of the ring!
(0:53) Twisted Bliss to Liv Morgan, and Liv is eliminated. I’m sure she has already started crying. Alexa is clearly the crowd favorite here. She’s getting crowd pops that are actually proven with visual evidence.
(0:53) Rapid fire action now, as Bianca hits Rhea with the K.O.D. to get an elimination. We’re down to Bianca and Alexa.
(0:54) Another “this is awesome” chant, and another instance where we don’t get a crowd shot to show anyone chanting. I’m thinking that isn’t a coincidence now.
(0:56) Hey, another “this is awesome” chant that started out of nowhere, and then ended out of nowhere. That totally didn’t sound fake or anything. WWE is a gazillion dollar company, and they haven’t figured out how to do certain things properly yet, even after all these years. Sad.
(0:56) K.O.D. to Alexa, and Bianca Belair picks up the victory. There were some slow spots here and there, but overall, that was fun. Probably shorter than it could’ve/should’ve been, but everyone except for Nikki got the chance to shine at various points. Let’s say that was 3.25 stars, but I can see a lot of people going a little higher with their grades.
(1:02) Next up, Ronda Rousey and Naomi will be taking on Charlotte Flair and Sonya Deville in tag team action. Per a pre-match stipulation, Ronda must compete with one arm tied behind her back here. That makes two one-armed women competing here.
(1:07) Ronda looks like she’s going to be competing in her judo gi. I guess if you’re going to have the women perform while staying covered up, that makes a ton of sense for her as an Olympic Bronze Medalist in judo. If you’re keeping track, Ronda is also going without makeup here, which is a far cry from her usual “I think my makeup artist hates me” look.
(1:10) After Ronda’s arm is tied behind her back, Sonya reveals that her arm injury has completely healed. It’s a miracle!
(1:11) I don’t think this Referee was ever a Boy Scout. He doesn’t tie things very well, as Ronda’s arm is clearly just sitting at her side, and not tied behind her back like it’s supposed to be.
(1:12) This entire storyline with Naomi and Sonya is so stupid. Months worth of random hating for no logical reason.
(1:15) Charlotte is clearly getting the loudest reactions of anyone in this match.
(1:16) As I typed that, a loud “let’s go, Ronda” chant breaks out, and we can actually see the crowd chanting it! Naomi gets tagged in, and she gets a nice pop, too. The crowd is a lot hotter for this one than they were for the Chamber.
(1:19) Even with one arm, Ronda locks Sonya in an armbar to pick up the submission victory for her team. Not exactly a surprising outcome there. The match… was a thing that happened. It wasn’t designed to be anything tremendous, and it accomplished that. Sonya Deville got her comeuppance. Again. Ronda Rousey gets momentum going into WrestleMania. I’m going to be generous and just say 2.5 stars, and we’ll move on.
(1:21) Oh, fuck my life. It’s time for Drew McIntyre vs Madcap Moss. Let me just give this negative stars now. Not even the Falls Count Anywhere stipulation is going to make me care about this.
(1:27) “I’ve been around here long enough. I’ve seen things change on a whim.” – Corey Graves, speaking truth.
(1:28) Right at the opening bell, Happy Corbin helps Moss in a two-on-one beatdown. Then, like a fucking moron, he heads to the outside, and McIntyre takes control. There are no rules here. Just beat McIntyre down and get the quick win.
(1:29) Corbin read my mind, as he is continuing to be involved in the match after that early hiccup.
(1:31) Moss is getting little-to-no crowd reaction, as it should be. McIntyre, on the other hand, is pretty popular in Saudi Arabia.
(1:32) SCARY spot with Moss being spiked right on top of his head. We’ve seen wrestlers break their necks from less than that, but Moss is up and moving.
(1:34) The slow-motion replay made the spot look even worse. Moss literally landed on the top of his head, compressing his spine, before his hands could ever touch the mat. Jesus Christ.
(1:37) McIntyre grabs the sword and tries to cut Corbin in half with it. You know… something about that taking place in Saudi Arabia… yikes.
(1:37) Claymore picks up the win for McIntyre. Another match result that surprises exactly zero people. Please let this feud be over, and no matter how much I hate the gimmick, please let Moss be okay. I can’t say this enough, but that was a scary, scary spot. The match was decent enough. It was another match that wasn’t designed to be a classic or anything, but it was fine. Let’s say 3 stars.
(1:42) After losing to Rey Mysterio on the pre-show, The Miz is interviewed backstage and says he’s going to get a partner and take on the Mysterios. I had a hunch and looked at Twitter… sure enough, people are already predicting that Cody Rhodes is going to be the mystery partner. I’m thinking Cody is going to be predicted for everything until we actually see him somewhere.
(1:44) It’s time for the Raw Women’s Title match. Becky Lynch vs Lita in a match that we never thought we would see.
(1:47) Good crowd pop for Lita during the pre-match introductions, followed by a good mixed reaction for Big Time Becks. Maybe Cole was right about this being a late-arriving crowd, because they’ve gotten a lot louder as the show has gone on after a slow start.
(1:50) Even after all these months, it’s still crazy that Becky Lynch went off to have a baby and then came back slimmer and trimmer than she was before she got pregnant.
(1:53) Lita is a graduate of the Matt Hardy School Of “WHY I OUGHTTA” Pull Back Punches. Makes sense, I guess.
(1:56) I’m not sure if I’d call it sloppy, but there’s just a bit of “realness” in just about everything Lita does.
(1:59) Litasault gets 2.999999999! Whoa, that was close.
(1:59) Not close enough, apparently, as Becky gets an immediate Manhandle Slam for the win. Another expected outcome. It was a fun one. Lita got time to get her spots in, but the right woman won. I think I’m going to go ahead and give the match 3 stars.
(2:03) We’re getting a video package for The Undertaker here, coming off of the announcement that he’s going into the WWE Hall Of Fame this year. That’s going to be quite the induction. You have to think Kane will be the one to induct him, but I’d love to see Mick Foley do it. Mick’s speech would be incredible.
(2:08) After the video package, the crowd chants for Taker, and then his music hits, causing the crowd to pop huge. Instead of Taker showing up, though, it was just to indicate the ad for his Hall Of Fame induction. Cruel prank to play on the crowd.
(2:09) Time for the Smackdown Tag Team Title match. The Usos defend against The Viking Raiders. As Erik and Ivar make their way to the ring, they’re attacked by The Usos, and we have a brawl at ringside before the match begins.
(2:11) The Usos suplex Ivar onto Erik, and the challengers are being tended to by multiple Referees. The Usos’ music hits, and they head back up the ramp. Well, that was a waste of time. We’re not getting a match, it would seem.
(2:15) Instead of a match, we have to find time to shoehorn more video packages onto the show. Of course.
(2:16) WWE’s next even on THE COCK is six weeks from today, and it will be the first night of WrestleMania 38. Before we can get there, though, it’s main event time. The WWE Title Elimination Chamber is here.
(2:17) A lengthy video package for The Undertaker, followed by a non-match, followed by two more video packages, and now… another video package. I say this every single time I do a Running Diary, but I’m going to need WWE and AEW to change things up a bit. AEW doesn’t know how to let anything breathe, and WWE lets everything breathe too much. Both companies should work their way back to the middle a bit, and it would make for better viewing.
(2:23) The WWE Champion, Bobby Lashley, was the first to make his entrance and take his spot in one of the pods. He is followed by AJ Styles. Both men got good reactions from the crowd.
(2:25) Riddle is out next, but to a lesser reaction than Lashley and Styles. He goes to do his slippers (not fucking flip-flops) spot, and the slippers botched the whole thing. Expect them to be the next on the list of WWE releases.
(2:27) Austin Theory is out next, and the crowd doesn’t appear to know who he is.
(2:28) Seth Rollins is out next, and we’re back to good crowd reactions. Good.
(2:29) Brock Lesnar’s music hits, and the Jeddah Super Dome goes nuts. That was probably the biggest pop of the night so far.
(2:31) Rollins and Theory are starting things off here. The opening bell rings, and away we go.
(2:34) Buckle Bomb sends Theory through Lashley’s pod! Good looking spot. Lashley is down and hurt. He’s being attended to by Referees and WWE Officials. Hmm… interesting.
(2:34) Riddle is the next entrant.
(2:37) Lashley is being removed from the Chamber and is being helped up the ramp by the team of Officials as AJ Styles is the next entrant into the match. We have four men officially in the match now.
(2:39) Riddle, Theory, Rollins, and Styles are all getting some good spots in. It probably won’t last long, as Lesnar awaits his entrance.
(2:41) LMAO @ Lashley’s pod getting highlighted, indicating he was supposed to be the next entrant, but Brock just kicks his own pod door, breaking it open. He’s now in the match.
(2:42) Good Lord, Lesnar picks up back-to-back eliminations, taking Rollins and Styles out of the match. It was announced that Lashley is being looked at for a concussion, and he will not return to the match. That means we’re guaranteed to have a new WWE Champion.
(2:43) AJ Styles is eliminated by Lesnar, leaving Brock to go one-on-one with Austin Theory. Oh, boy.
(2:44) Theory runs for his life, trying to hide in one of the pods, but Lesnar kicks that door down, too, making Theory eat a big-time suplex.
(2:46) An F5 from the top of a pod, sending Theory crashing down to the side of the ring! Good Lord! Lesnar gets the pin and the win, making him the brand new WWE Champion. The crowd ate it all up, but holy shit, what a mess. I’m not going to grade that. Everything was just wheel-spinning until Lesnar entered the match, when it became the Brock Lesnar Show as usual. Multiple eliminations, pretty much back-to-back-to-back-to-back. Now, the outcome that I haven’t seen anybody fucking ask for… Champion vs Champion at WrestleMania… looks to be happening. It’s already being advertised, at the very least, complete with a match graphic. I just don’t get it. We all know Lesnar is capable of doing so much more in his matches, but he keeps getting placed in these spots that people are getting tired of seeing. I’m a huge fan of Brock Lesnar, but come on.
Every match on the show had the outcome that was the clear betting favorite. This was nothing more than a super expensive house show with a ton of production value. I don’t know what else to say about it. At least Goldberg lost.