IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #412
Contact: Email
Support: Donate here
Got a late start, had to do something first, so I’m about 90 minutes behind.
Thoughts on AEW Revolution 2023
1. Glad to be back for my first PPV review since… Gotta be Wrestlemania in 2018 or so. I think. Sometime around then. So glad we’re starting off with the sports gambling plug on PPV.
2. Judas indicates that we’re getting Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Starks with Jericho apparently “on a cold streak.” I guess they can’t reference his 2015-17 run where he was almost a guaranteed loss, but I take their point. We’ve got Aubrey, Shredder Kane jacket, and we’re about to get Mr. Neon Vaporwave himself too. The crowd sounds loud, so even better.
3. I’m so happy to see Ricky Starks on PPV. His outfit almost has a young Jericho vibe to it, I think. The JAS Boys are supposedly banned from ringside, so I wonder how the shenanigans will ensue with a “not technically JAS” person.
4. One match, one dive, and I expect there to be a lot of that. I really hope this is the end to this feud either way. And not an Eddie Kingston/Jericho non-determinable shenanigans ending either, mercy please Ricky Starks does not need that.
5. The injured ribs come into play, though the bandages covering them are clinging on for dear life. Jericho is doing what heel Jericho do and working the injury, and for as long as this feud seems to have dragged, the crowd is reacting to it. That’s what matters the most, I suppose. Interesting choice for an opener though.
6. Strong “Y2J” dueling chants with Ricky. That varies from place to place, but I guess when you’ve got an entrance that everyone loves to sing, and you’re the legend of 30 years that Jericho is, that’s bound to happen.
7. We’ve got a boo/yay exchange, so we’re checking off a lot of the boxes on the AEW show Bingo card already. Jericho kicks out of a spear, and that was a good near-fall to sell the conflict.
8. Starks comes back with an interesting-looking thrust kick that hits around the chestal region, but he gets caught in the not-Lion Tamer version of the Walls of Jericho, so an escape is more likely. Not only does Starks escape, he gets a single leg Boston Crab.
9. Sammy Guevara comes jogging down to ringside with a giant doofy grin, but Action Andretti spears him out of nowhere. That looked like a legit jumping, I love it.
10. Floyd comes out and connects, but then Jericho blocks the shit out of the Judas Effect. Starks clocks him right in the fuck and wins with the Rochambeau. That was a fun opener, and it was a good capstone with the match I saw in Seattle back in January.
11. No time for a-wastin’, the Final Burial match is next. Though the name sounds more like the Buried Alive match, the concept sounds like the Casket match. Christian’s dressed like a Shield member without the kevlar.
12. JR does the best he can to allude to his familiarity with his history with these types of matches without using the terminology I’m sure he’s familiar with. Speaking of feuds that have been going on a long time, Jungle Boy desperately needs a good, strong win here, and this feud needs to hopefully end cleanly after injuries have derailed it multiple times.
13. It’s snowing here again in Minnesota, which essentially means it’s t-shirt weather for us because it’s not too cold to snow. Yes, that’s a thing.
14. This match goes way out into the crowd, so I’m watching this match through the phones of everyone within a two-section radius. Not hating, just a fact. Christian tries to bail from the match but then realizes “oh, I’m going toward the MacGuffin for this particular battle, maybe that was a bad idea.”
15. Someone in the front row has a No Way Jose shirt. I didn’t even know there were No Way Jose shirts. The more you know.
16. The camera (badly) tries to show Jack’s family but was focused somewhere between the second turnbuckle and Sting and Darby in the catwalk. Whoops.
17. We get a solid “fuck you, Christian” chant from the crowd as it once again spills to the outside. The ring steps are tested for their percussion compatibility with Christian’s head, and it’s solid. Not to be out-Cobra Kai’d, Christian sweeps the leg.
18. We’ve now got a belt, and I have no doubt that those sting like hell. You can’t really pull those shots.
19. Jungle Boy heads up the rampway for some reason. Christian’s bleeding because he’s on before Mox and needs to set a lighter tone for the evening. We get the first opening of the coffin (not a casket, but whatevs, I’ve watched too much Ask a Mortician), and there are several reversals in the dirt. I doubt that dirt helps cushion a back body drop on there though.
20. JB reverses an Unprettier and sends Christian off that stepstool-height stage, but the running flip off from JB looks pretty sweet. Christian remembers that he is an Attitude Era star and a heel and hits the first (and I’m sure not the last) low blow of the evening.
21. Christian thinks the roof of the coffin is a better percussion instrument than the ring steps, and demonstrates as such with JB’s head. Christian throws him in, but JB won’t quite let it close. Dirt in the eyes, Christian continues to be so dastardly. This time the Unprettier connects, but the solo Conchairto is countered with a shovel. These are very weird sentences to write sometimes.
22. JB uses the shovel handle to lock in the Snare Trap, which is quite an image, and definitely demonstrates the heightened intensity of this feud and his character. Good, that was necessary. He follows up by teasing the solo Conchairto, which he was unable to do without lament before. Not so tonight, as Christian has finally pushed him beyond that breaking point. That’s what it took, so the bad guy sort of wins in a way regardless.
23. Jack puts Christian in the coffin, but doesn’t quite close it right away. JB then slams the coffin all the way down the old Brood entrance for the final conclusion. I like how the commentators include the entire story of what happened throughout the past few years, and how much of a presence Christian was before his turn.
24. Trios championship is next, and I’m really hoping to see the House of Black go over strong here. Renee is everywhere, she does so much for this company already, and here she is in the preview package. I love how they use old ROH footage for synchronicity over time too.
25. Holy badass, Julia Hart. She’s got her own mask and veil and looks more terrifying than all the other members. Is that a new version of the entrance theme, at least a different part of the song? Maybe. Whatever though, more Julia Hart looking like that, please.
26. Hearing Kansas after that intense entrance is almost as big of a contrast as all the colors on the screen after the goth kids were here.
27. This has such a big fight feel, and after the Elite came off that best of seven series, it’s impressive to have that once again so soon. The story of Buddy Matthews and Kenny Omega is told by the commentators as they start out, so I appreciate that connection being filled in.
28. Speaking of contrast, wrestling style between these first three matches is another noticeable one, in all the best ways, not to mention between these two teams respectively.
29. The crowd is so into this match that they’re chanting it’s awesome before Malakai and Omega even lock up. Matt tags in and wants Brody King, so that’s a decision. A triple attempted dive leads to a triple getting back in and a triple face… off. When you could eat a peach for hours, it’s best in threes.
30. A Terminator beat clap, I absolutely love it. I’m sure that’s something that’s more common than I’m aware, but I’m going to appreciate it nonetheless.
31. A Brody King flying at you with a barricade behind you has to be among the most terrifying things to experience.
32. Kenny Omega tries to hit Brody with all he’s got, but Brody looks more annoyed than anything.
33. The crowd is either barking or singing the theme to Countdown. Either is fine with me. If this match is a lovely Tnetennba, then so be it.
34. Malakai Black is not impressed with a Superkick party, and he crashes emphatically. The moves start flying everywhere back and forth, this is just pure fun all around.
35. We’ve got another boo/yay, though I’m surprised there’s even a noticeable split there, considering how over everyone is in this match.
36. Omega inadvertently hits Julia Hart with a high knee, and fortunately she doesn’t crack her head on the floor this time. She’s still the scariest member of the stable nonetheless.
37. So many kicks, so little time. The crowd is going nuclear, so much so that a tag in is almost a step down. We get several near-falls, and it’s legit hard to tell whether the crowd is excited to see a potential win or if they’re cheering for the save.
38. Holy shit, Buddy Matthews countered a Meltzer Driver attempt with a knee to the face that looked absolutely DEVASTATING. The House of Black win the Trios titles, which was the best case scenario. That was freaking amazing. A little one comes into the ring with them too. I guess they can’t do the spooky exit with a young one in tow, but that’s okay.
39. The women’s triple threat is next, and I’d really like to see Ruby Soho to win a title and not come up short for once, but I’m not holding my breath. A good consolation prize is hearing Tazz sing the wrong lyrics to her song though.
40. Ruby hits a front dropkick to the outside and that did not look like it felt good on the landing. We’re headed back to the seats, and Ruby holds the hand of the security guy for balance before diving off the barricade onto the other two. All three of these outfits are also fantastic.
41. We’re in the crowd and it looks like a different kind of camera where the focus makes everything move a bit slower? Does that make sense? it’s always jarring to me when I see it, but I have sensory sensitivities, so who knows.
42. This match is so well put together. You would fear following the trios match would be a death slot but it totally isn’t. That is JBLdamn impressive.
43. All three are down after some really sweet moves including a Saito (sp?) Suplex from Ruby, and Jamie’s knee appears to be giving her trouble.
44. Instead of a boo/yay exchange, we get Jamie and Ruby punching Saraya back and forth between them. Saraya chews off a piece of HAM by telling them both to stop just so she can scream “OW!” I love it.
45. Saraya does a powerbomb in the Tower of Doom spot and it legit looked like she powerbombed the both of them. Great timing on that one.
46. Toni Storm starts the Shenanigans party, but Britt Baker is like “I didn’t dress like a 70s family band to not get involved” and she raises it by causing distraction herself. Four out of four on the really fun and stylistically different match front so far.
47. Jamie wins after several reversals, Soho loses again because of course she does. The heels start in on Jamie and Britt while Ruby sits disappointed in the corner. Finally, she decides to toss Saraya and Toni out of the ring. No wait, she takes out Jamie and Britt too! Well that came out of nowhere.
48. Ruby unfortunately decides that the spray can gimmick is something that works, and she participates in an L spraying. Okay then.
49. Texas Death Match time, so there’s gonna be some blood. Renee does a great job of trying to be objective in the preview.
50. We come back with some acoustic guitar and black-and-white recaps of the feud. Hangman’s entrance gets quite the upgrade, and I’m a fan of the one he had. The whole aesthetic got a makeover, which looks awesome with those screens too. “Ghost Riders in the Sky” is his theme of choice, which is perfect for this.
51. The crowd response seems to favor Hangman more at first, and he wastes no time in jumping into this match. There’s a barbed wire table at ringside, and the commentators are emphasizing that the fans haven’t been fond of what the BCC has been up to lately. I don’t know if that means that Mox is heel with the other two, but it certainly seems that way.
52. Chop fight, which Hangman stays in more than he has previously. I wasn’t sure where this story was going for a while, but Hangman as usual is amazing with his continuity and storytelling application. I love it.
53. We’ve got the first attempted use of barbed wire, which Hangman counters into Mox’s head, so here comes the blood. The fans who want to taste it at ringside will be in a proximity to do so. I guess they didn’t get my memo a few weeks ago that the vampires on tv aren’t really vampires. Gonna learn today. Don’t worry, birthday folx, it’s just viscus clamato juice.
54. After punching Hangman with the barbed wire, we’re about to get Abdullah up in here, because we’ve got a forking sighting. Mox traps Hangman in the triangle and starts stabbing him and it’s spurting and gross as shit. There’s gonna be more forking here while Mox looks for something even more devastating. Barbed wire chair, why not? We gonna get some fire at the conclusion of this one?
55. Mox sets up the barbed wire chair in the corner and celebrates with his back turned. That’s always a great idea. Turns out in his favor anyway as he slides out and sends Hangman into it. Mox gives no fucks whatsoever. He then does a crab on the barbed wire chair. Yeah, they’re not holding back with this one at all. A significant raising of the stakes which this feud definitely needed for escalation purposes, they’ve brought it tonight for sure.
57. It’s a wrestling crowd, so despite everything they’re seeing, they still want tables. The Dudleyz have long ensured that chant will be a permanent mainstay in these types of matches.
58. It’s a Mox match, we already had blood, but now there’s biting. Mox then gets put through two barbed wire chairs, holy hell.
59. Hangman wraps himself in barbed wire and does a moonsault to the outside. That seems… impractical? To say the very least? It looked awesome but I’m not sure if that accomplished hurting your opponent more than yourself. But, like I said, looked cool.
60. After all this, what do we have as another weapon? Another chair, but the barbed wire table is set up on it. Something painful this way comes.
61. The hardcore style is definitely not my preferred genre, so this is a bit disconcerting, but I truly appreciate what these two are bringing to this match and story.
62. We’ve got a brick and it’s not even drowning slowly. There’s too much blood for it to be slow. Another brick and a chain too, the “you sick fuck” chants are rather applicable here.
63. I’ll say it again, stylistically contrasting with all the previous matches, this is perhaps the best example I’ve seen AEW do in my limited experience so far.
64. Hangman’s turn for barbed wire first punching, and a fallaway slam into the barbed wire chair. I just hope neither one of these guys is wrestling on Wednesday. And now a Deadeye on the barbed wire chair, good JBL this is sick.
65. Not to be outdone by his last sick moment, Mox gets a taste of One Night Stand 2006 and gets vaulted into the barbed wire table propped up by the chair. How the fuck either of these guys is even moving and functioning is beyond me.
66. When in doubt, no barbed wire can match the psychotic depths of the BACK-SCRATCHIES!
67. Hangman gets shot off the top rope and barely through the barbed wire table. With his most recent scare still fresh in our minds, his head came damn close to crashing on the floor from a solid eight feet in the air. Hangman is somehow up after that. This is madness.
68. How is Mox bleeding less than he did where it looked like he lost an eye after the Evil Uno match?
69. Buckshot reversed into the Deathrider, and then a Rollins-esque stomp into the bricks on Hangman. I’m only listing so many of these moves because I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Hangman is somehow up, but Mox gets the rear naked choke in, a move that has ended a lot of matches. Mox just isn’t gonna be part of Hangman’s system, he threw him on the ground.
70. Callback to some dog collar matches with using the chain for pulling effect. Now we’ve got the chain and bricks set up, and this is gonna be scary no matter what. Mox is wrapped in chains like he went to the Citadel in Oldtown, but that’s not powerful enough to stop the power of Bricks. Buckshot lariat and a hanging spot with the chain gets Mox to tap. Holy fuck.
71. I need a clove and a long walk in the snow after that one.
72. Wardlow and Samoa Joe have to follow that, though every match has been tough to follow tonight. That last one in particular though may have worn the crowd out a little bit.
73. Hobbs is watching from… somewhere, but his appearance gets the crowd chanting and paying attention to him. It got a reaction, so that’s something. It’s a shame, Wardlow was white hot coming off the MJF squash almost a year ago, and he’s really trying to get back to that point. Maybe revisiting the feud with MJF after moving on from the TNT title would be a way to do that? I don’t know.
74. This match may just be a victim of circumstance more than anything else. It had to happen eventually. A crowd can’t stay that hot for an entire show, no matter how good it is, and this show is damn good.
75. Joe is working the leg, much as he did in their previous encounters. We’ll see if the theme of tonight, the overcoming of previous obstacles, comes into play in this contest as well.
76. Wardlow doing a Swanton Bomb will never not be insane. It looks so good.
77. Wardlow gets caught in the rear naked choke, and almost fades out with the arm but eventually gets the leg to get out of it.
78. I still say we should’ve known about the meaning of Wardlow’s hair before Joe cut it off. I feel like it would’ve added so much heat to the moment and the feud in general.
79. Joe gets a lot of chants, though he’s not far from home himself, so it makes sense. Plus, he’s Samoa fucking Joe, heel or face. Wardlow gets his own rear naked choke in there, so that’s interesting. Wardlow just… wins? That felt anti-climactic, somehow. Wardlow gets the revenge win, but Hobbs in his skybox is waiting on Wednesday. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Hobbs take it, and that’s totally fine.
80. Next we’ve got the… interesting… assortment of tag title contenders. Then again, the Juniors Ass being tag champions alone was unexpected. The Acclaimed, fine. Triple J though? Team Carny hasn’t fared so well but they keep getting shots. Orange Cassidy and Danhausen? I love both guys but this was not how I expected them to get on the show.
81. Ch-ch-ch-Chosen One. They’ve still got that Golden Globe. They’re back in California, so maybe Stingray will finally come to get it back. If Terry Silver let him leave the house, anyway.
82. Despite the randomness of their shot, I’m glad to see Danhausen finally getting in a match that isn’t a squash or doesn’t feel like a joke. When you’re that over that consistently, I feel like losing to Tony Nese and Ethan Page in a minute isn’t the best way to take advantage of that. The guy moves merch, whether you like him or not. Let’s see where this goes.
83. The Acclaimed say some rather interesting things about themselves in the rap this time. Max was rather low-key and a bit off tempo with this one, so I don’t know what that was about. Maybe he’s got a cold or something.
84. Jeff Jarrett is up to the carny tricks and he does the strut, but then Orange Cassidy does one of his own. I haven’t seen a strut that low-key since an indy show strut-off where the DJ picked “I Ran” by Flock of Seagulls as the song of choice. You know, a song with a very short intro that gets to the point right away… right?
85. Danhausen has already matched his offensive move total for the entire year with his tag in, I think. By that I mean he hit more than one.
86. The Juniors Ass are somehow both crazy over-selling while chewing the scenery at the same time. That’s multitasking on an extreme level.
87. Sonjay Dutt is about to get the double team Scissor Me Timbers, and it takes approximately three years less to hit than it did last time.
88. The “Ass Boys” chant breaks out, appropriately enough with Danhausen conducting the chorus from his seated position at ringside.
89. A four-way strut off into a mock scissoring that gets broken up almost immediately. I’m again thinking maybe Max isn’t feeling well, as the Acclaimed haven’t been in the match very much. Then again, neither has Orangehausen, so who knows? This match is a melee of ridiculousness.
90. If Max wasn’t feeling well before, he’s definitely not now. He hits his lower back on the way of being thrown out of the ring, and you could hear the shoot pain reaction. Not good.
91. Danhausen tries to get in a curse off with Singh, but Sonjay gets involved. An Orange Punch, a high kick, and even a Fameasser, we’ve got shenanigans galore.
92. Max is back up, so that’s good news. They get some good shots in on the Gunns after they attacked their dad again. Max tries for a pin after a mic drop while Jarrett sits there watching and not reacting. Glad he’s so invested in this match’s outcome.
93. Aubrey stops the guitar from being used, which gives the chance for Stingray’s Golden Globe to be brought in yet again. Where art thou, Cobra?
94. Jarrett increased his level of heat exponentially by messing with Aubrey, and she isn’t taking it at all. This gives the Gunns the chance to slip in, Danhausen ends up taking the pin. Because of course he did. At least he looked way better than he has since he arrived in AEW, even including that brief return to his darkside gimmick a while back.
95. Renee is in the ring with them, and I’m really hoping for the FTR return. That was always the return pop people were waiting for. It got a big one a week after they left when we were in Seattle, and we bit even knowing they were in freaking Japan.
96. Top Guys, finally back! I’m glad they got the break they deserved, but they were sorely missed.
97. When did Dax become Jon Moxley, because he somehow got busted open already?
98. Looks like there’s been a lot of talk, but it’s time for the main event. This has been a surprisingly short show by AEW standards, but this match is of course about to push that length back out to its more expected runtime. Nobody can complain about too many matches on this show, although I’m sure some of the people intent on hating things no matter what will anyway.
99. MJF gets himself a custom entrance, and a piano theme makes Tony say that it’s “music apropos for a terrible human being.” He gets a full orchestra in Zorro masks. No wait, I think those are supposed to be devil masks. My bad.
100. This is a quite slow rendition of his theme, but it picks back up to drown them out. He brought the return pop devil mask back. Of all the entrances I’ve ever seen in pro wrestling, that was definitely one of them.
101. MJF’s 2023 record is 1-0. LOL.
102. The crowd chants “you fucked up” before the match even starts. That can’t be a good omen.
103. I thought the crowd had been hot all night, but they sure saved some energy for this one. I wonder if they’ll be able to maintain it for this very long match.
104. I like the commentators contrasting MJF’s longest match being 38 minutes with Danielson having wrestled at least 74 minutes, as well as numerous one hour matches. It sets up an ending regardless of who wins.
105. The speed picks up very early in the match, and they start showing off. The crowd is on fire for it, we’re in for a very good time here.
106. MJF offers a handshake, and fortunately Danielson is one of the few veterans who does NOT fall for this non-genuine heel gesture. MJF powders to go mess with fans some more. The amps are already really high, might as well put them over the top.
107. After another powder, MJF yells directly into the camera: “Is this gonna cost me a star, Dave?” Subtle.
108. Hydration is for heels. No one tell DDP.
109. Someone is very loudly singing John Cena’s theme, but I can’t tell what he’s saying specifically. I don’t care that much, but it’s so loud and bellowing that it’s hard to ignore.
110. MJF turns a dive into a nasty hit into the barricade, and I couldn’t tell if more of Danielson’s shoulder or head took more of the impact. Like Hangman earlier, that makes me drastically more nervous than it normally would. But I also imagine he knows that too.
111. 15 minutes in, no falls yet, but what a story these two are managing to tell so far. Also an amazing sell of a sunset flip by MJF that was perfect for the match itself as well as his character.
112. MJF tweaks his knee on the way out, or at least is making us think he did. Injuries always make me nervous. Apparently Tazz agrees with me on that.
113. Roll, roll, roll in the hay, roll around the ring, see-saw, here we go, super roll-up party!
114. Danielson gets the first fall, so he and his bleeding elbow are probably going to lose. I hope he doesn’t, but things go the way they do.
115. Danielson tries to follow up on the first fall and MJF takes a fake fall, then low-blows Danielson right in front of the ref. That gives Danielson a second win, though they don’t say that right away so it’s a bit confusing. MJF uses the move to get two consecutive pinfalls to tie it up. Interesting strategy.
116. Danielson tosses MJF right on his knee, which cannot feel good even if it’s being worked. 31 minutes to go.
117. Danielson tries to use the length of the ringside area to build up for something, but MJF comes out of the chair and clocks him hard. MJF continues to sell the knee but he’s gonna try to run anyway. He gets hit just as hard on his turn on the receiving end. Third time’s the charm though, Danielson gets an even bigger running start after breaking the ten count. I’m not sure how that breaks it for MJF though, but sure, fine.
118. A “this is awesome” chant this late in the show and this long into a match. Fantastic crowd tonight, bonus HAM for all of them.
119. Danielson locks MJF in a figure four, MJF yells “I hate you” repeatedly in response. This turns into a slap fight. Danielson reverses it intentionally for fun. That’s badass, and hey, we get an “I have til five, referee.” Apparently it’s the second time but I missed the first one. I always loved that bit.
120. They are pacing this match so well. Absolutely nothing so far has felt like stalling, even when MJF was taking powders to gather heat and annoy Danielson in the beginning. That’s really impressive.
121. Danielson falls off the turnbuckle to the outside, which looks nasty, and I’m pretty sure MJF ripped the camera out of the turnbuckle. Someone clearly yells “table spot!” as they move over to the table and start clearing it off. Whoops. You talk too much, you never shut up…
122. There it is, MJF drops an elbow from the top turnbuckle to Danielson through the table. Well-earned “holy shit!” chant, even if someone literally telegraphed it. The replays make me laugh because there’s a really high-pitched reaction to it and it’s heard in every one of the replays too.
123. Danielson barely beats the count back in the ring, 22 minutes left. MJF sells the knee, Danielson sells the everything else.
124. MJF clears off the broken table, and I think he hit someone with something he threw away. That’s what it sounded like anyway. He does a jumping piledriver through the broken table, which is a great idea to do when your knee hurts like hell.
125. It’s AEW, so we’ve got more blood, because it’s a day.
126. Squeezing blood out of someone’s head doesn’t quite hold the same grossness effect after the Texas Death grossness we saw earlier. MJF goes up 3-2 after another piledriver. 19 minutes to go.
127. I notice no BCC on Danielson’s gear. I wonder if that’s relevant. It’s not like he’s been associating with them lately anyway.
128. MJF audibly yells “you’re the best in the world? You fucking suck!” This feud has brought a lot of f-bombs lately. He then invokes the kids’ names again as he draws out more blood.
129. Danielson tries to fight back, but he collapses. This gets him the snot of the night. Gross.
130. 15 minutes to go, and Danielson finally gets a hope spot. He hits the running knee off the apron as the commentators mark that he’s running out of time.
131. Instead of going for the countout fall, Danielson goes to the top rope, leaps off, and lands right on MJF’s head. Or at least that’s what it looked like. At least MJF rolled instead of his head whipping back. That spot a while back where his head crashed into the railing was memorably nasty, but fortunately that one in particular isn’t possible anymore.
132. Spider Superplex, so when R-Truth saw that, he got ridiculously angry at John Morrison retrospectively.
133. MJF’s got blood now because we needed to see someone attempt to out-nasty the rest of the show. Danielson gets the knee, but instead gets the submission win to tie it at 3, ten minutes and change left.
134. Submissions are traded back and forth for another couple close calls. There’s so much blood in the ring, somehow more on the mat than there was earlier. MJF makes the Salt of the Earth Even worse by grabbing back the other arm and one of his legs. That is some pain tolerance right there. The one free leg somehow gets to the ropes. 7 minutes to go.
135. They collide into each other and drop to the mat, which gets a standing ovation. Even at 3, the time getting close. Danielson starts laughing, MJF crying into his thick crimson mask. The five minute warning turns it back up.
136. MJF tries to get into a chop off, which seems like a bad decision, and MJF’s shenanigans don’t save him from this one, at least not yet. He manages to get another Heatseeker through the ropes, but Danielson gets out of this one.
137. Water break, snot blow, high quality chant for H20, and they’re tied up on the top rope. Three Minute Warning. MJF gets another piledriver from the second rope, but that makes his knee break out in pain, so he can’t take advantage. Two minutes to go.
138. MJF finally attempts a pinfall, but it gets reversed into a single leg crab. One minute to go. Despite the hurt knee, MJF tries to crawl out. 40 seconds. He almost goes for a low blow but stops himself. Ten seconds. Danielson hooks the arm. MJF taps right after the buzzer. MJF retains due to draw.
139. The crowd chants “bullshit” as they bring in oxygen and doctors. Tony gets a message and starts heading to the ring. Are we gonna do the WrestleMania XII? At least it wasn’t a 0-0 tie. Sure enough, sudden death rules while MJF is still on oxygen. What a great “oh shit” look while Danielson has blood in his mouth. The crowd gets possibly the loudest they’ve been all night.
140. MJF tries shoving the ref, and it doesn’t work. He tries the low blow roll-up, and that doesn’t work either. What an amazing facial expression by MJF right there.
141. MJF grabs the title belt as Bryce yells at him for what the consequences will be. He’s like “do it bro, see what happens.” He uses the distraction to get the Diamond Crotch Ring, but Danielson gets a reverse hurricanrana. Running knee, kickout. Wow.
142. MJF still has the ring on, Bryce hasn’t noticed. We’re back to the single leg crab. Hey, Bryce noticed the ring this time. He sort of taps but nope, that’s a psych-up. That’s different than taps… somehow.
143. MJF reaches the ropes, but then taps out. Bryce doesn’t hear that somehow. MJF finds the oxygen tank, but Bryce can’t deduce Danielson suddenly being knocked out. To everyone’s surprise, Danielson gets his arm up before the third drop.
144. MJF doesn’t let go, Danielson finally taps. Incredible match, shenanigans ensued. Danielson once again comes up short in a title match despite an absolutely amazing performance. Shenanigans ensued. The crowd is deflated, so after everything, it still meant nothing. After all the child taunting, henchmen, everything… bad guy still wins. That shouldn’t take away from a phenomenal performance from everyone involved. I didn’t think Danielson would win at any point, but I guess like another title match recently that nobody doubted someone would retain, there’s still that hope.
145. Not a bad match on this show, and the hour-plus main event didn’t have a dull spot in it. This was a fantastic wrestling show. For all the complaints about the buildup, AEW delivers on PPV once again. I hope everyone enjoyed themselves, and sorry this was running a bit behind.
LARGE HAM
1/4/23 – The Gunns
1/11/23 – Daddy Magic
1/13/23 – Danhausen
1/18/23 – Sonjay Dutt
1/20/23 – Stokely Hathaway
1/25/23 – Tony Schiavone
1/27/23 – Danhausen
2/1/23 – Jade Cargill
2/3/23 – Ethan Page
2/8/23 – MJF
2/10/23 – STIIIIIIING
2/15/23 – Ruby Soho
2/17/23 – Dustin Rhodes
2/22/23 – Chris Jericho
2/24/23 – Matt Hardy
3/1/23 – Big Bill
3/3/23 – Jungle Boy
3/5/23 – MJF
Honorable mention to Saraya’s great moment, but MJF’s meta jokes and over-the-top reactions sealed it for him.