IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #414
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I did a rare thing for me and joined a meme. This is my first of several. This is too much fun.
Thoughts on AEW Rampage – March 10th, 2023
1. We’ve opened up with another match pitting Action Andretti against Sammy Guevara, the former of which who put the “surprise” in surprise attack back at Revolution. Andretti needs to regain the momentum he’s lost since going relatively invisible in the latter part of the Starks/Jericho feud, but Guevara has been lost in the fold himself in his on-again/off-again Daniel Garcia tension thing.
2. Any time I see the forward dropkick into the corner, I can’t help but remember seeing Low-ki do that move from the second row and thinking someone got demolished. Between him and Finn Balor, a lot of the stuff I remember Ki doing is pretty common now.
3. Sammy Guevara counters the Springboard Flying Nothing to the outside by Andretti in a way that looked like he messed up his own leg in the process.
4. Andretti barely beats the ten count back in, while Sammy still manages to make the crowd want to punch his face. Find something you’re good at and stick with it, I guess.
5. They brought Stu Grayson back? Nice to see a (re)addition to the Dark Order rather than a subtraction.
6. Andretti continues to have some fantastic apron/outside ropes-based offense, despite the lack of success earlier. A “Let’s Go Action” chant breaks out, which I think is the first chant he’s gotten since the “Let’s Go Jobber” one during his Jericho upset. Good, keep that up.
7. Jericho does well at putting over Andretti despite the rivalry with him and the fact that he’s taking on his stablemate. Wrestlers on commentary sometimes aren’t very good at that.
8. Guevara fails at a table spot, but it’s there so we’ve got to use it. Chekov’s Table will not be forgotten. Diving gut first for a splash through the table can’t feel good whether you hit it right or not. Reminds me of RVD hitting the Frog Splash, where you’re not sure who it hurt more at times.
9. Daniel Garcia shenanigans yet again, Andretti loses again. What was the point? They could’ve just shown a full match and nothing would’ve been gained or lost.
10. Hey, Darby’s back on TV, and he’s reminding us about his need to go out in a blaze of glory. It’s cryptic and vague though, so he and Malakai Black are in a contest for the superlative champion of that front.
11. Jungle Boy reflects on the Final Burial match and how the chapter closed on that part of his life. He decides that momentum is hard to come by and easier to lose. If only they understood that with the previous match.
12. Powerhouse Hobbs and (sigh) QT Marshall, who continues quoting Peter Banning in Hook without realizing that guy was lying. Unfortunately, we’re going to get a talk show segment, so… At least Hobbs is the champion?
13. The Acclaimed are here, and there is also a rap involved. I’m sure the jobber-entranced team has a great chance, especially when JR makes fun of their name during their mild introduction.
14. The Acclaimed hit their tag finisher and, just kinda hang out for a minute. That’s a choice. Someone’s a fan of the overalls jumper guy with a sign in the front row. Good for him. Acclaimed win to no shock whatsoever, but sometimes it’s just nice to get an over act on the show.
15. 2.0 are up at the top of the ramp offering them JAS shirts, and I just hope this eventual feud doesn’t go three-plus months.
16. More JAS with a backstage promo. They’re all over this show as they preview the triple threats trios match to celebrate all that is first-times and Canadian.
17. Preston Vance against Konosuke Takeshita is next, and I look forward to seeing where the latter’s angle with Don Callis goes. Takeshita gets a nice reaction, which is always good to hear at the tail end of a Rampage. Preston has a The Assistant though, so you never know what can happen. It’s Shenanigans Hour, so there may be some assisting going on.
18. The match is pretty standard, heel getting the advantage but the face getting the hope spots and crowd support. At least it’s got heat, so something’s going right. Not much else to say heading into a commercial break for a little jam with the clip of the Rampage theme.
19. Both these guys throw some nice suplexes. Rather than the double clotheslines, they try for the mutual discus lariats, so that’s a nice twist on the spot.
20. Jose does some assisting to prevent the pinfall, and it gets him and his blue jacket punched right in the fuck. The Masterlock Challenge fails, but the “Master of the Backslide” challenge does not. What a thing to be known for.
21. Swerve laments his underestimation of Keith Lee. Oh no, the affiliates are on the shelf now? What ever will we do? He says he hasn’t thrown every bullet he has in the chamber. That’s interesting, I didn’t know you threw bullets, but you learn something every day.
22. Mark Briscoe’s here to get a well-deserved pop, and anytime we get to hear him do a promo, it’s a good time. As is the paisley bandana, can’t go wrong. He says it’s time to move on with the titles, and at Supercard of Honor, there will be a Reach for the Sky ladder match. That works as both a nice tribute and an appropriately accurate name. The Lucha Brothers will also be the first team involved, which corresponds with their recent alliance.
23. Blazers, suits, and Lucha masks take us into a hard exit commercial break, which will be just enough time to find Mark Henry either in or not in his small corner screen. That’s good, he’s been unpredictable with that recently.
24. We’re back with Stokely realizing he’s gonna have to face Hook in a no-DQ match. I wonder if there will be other people involved in that. I have no idea.
25. Mark Henry gets the whole screen this week, because there’s a pre-tape that reminds us of the first Dynamite. I had friends at that Dynamite, I wish I’d caught on to the product sooner. I haven’t talked to them in a long time, I wonder what they’re up to.
26. “There’s no reason to talk,” Mark modifies his catch phrase. Seems like he took great joy in that curveball.
27. The main event features two former women’s champions, and also Marina Shafir. Riho is the epitome of joy on this roster, and JR further emphasizes that point.
28. Rose is still getting heat despite Vickie taking off, so that’s a good sign. Riho desperately tries to body slam Nyla, A for Effort. That was absolutely adorable and HAMmerific.
29. Riho gets a really nice chant going as the ref warns Marina that there are not to be more shenanigans in this hour. Surprisingly, with his back conveniently turned, there aren’t any. What’s up, Rampage? You okay? You’re not the Rampage I know so well.
30. Never mind, there it is, right before the commercial break too. Carry on.
31. Jericho reminds us for the 47th time since Wednesday that he and Omega are from Winnipeg, although all 47 of them are still nicer than the time he yelled it at a heckling fan. It’s good to celebrate growth.
32. Hey, there’s the Ghetto Stomp, or the Riho version anyway, calling back to an earlier comment.
33. Riho continues to kick out of devastating moves on some close calls. The crowd is loud and behind the underdog, can’t ask for more than that.
34. Nyla misses a Swanton and, holy shit Riho suplexed Nyla. Pinfall into bridge, kickout! That was awesome! As well as the Crucifix Bomb! This match really picked up the show.
35. Shafir gets involved again because the ref sucks at his job. Riho gets the Simon Miller Special though to get the big win despite the best efforts of the outside involvement. They attack her two-on-one after because Heel.
36. They’re about to leave, but Marina looks back. Something’s gonna happen? No, nevermind.
37. Toni Storm’s music hits, but I guess the spray-paint Mean Girls aren’t interested in heel originals? They’re after Riho though. I can’t be mad, even if they’re “still smarting.” Say what, Excalibur?
38. That’s the third downer ending in a row though. The main event was good, but the show overall felt flat, especially with a near-repeat of a match we’ve already seen with the same result. I realize when you only have four PPVs you’ve gotta reset and start to build for the next one, but this was a Dead Man’s Chest week of AEW, if you will.
LARGE HAM
1/4/23 – The Gunns
1/11/23 – Daddy Magic
1/13/23 – Danhausen
1/18/23 – Sonjay Dutt
1/20/23 – Stokely Hathaway
1/25/23 – Tony Schiavone
1/27/23 – Danhausen
2/1/23 – Jade Cargill
2/3/23 – Ethan Page
2/8/23 – MJF
2/10/23 – STIIIIIIING
2/15/23 – Ruby Soho
2/17/23 – Dustin Rhodes
2/22/23 – Chris Jericho
2/24/23 – Matt Hardy
3/1/23 – Big Bill
3/3/23 – Jungle Boy
3/5/23 – MJF
3/8/23 – Anthony Bowens
3/10/23 – Riho
Not a particularly HAMmy week of wrestling, but Riho’s attempted body slam and reaction takes it for tonight.