IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #416
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Thoughts on AEW Dynamite – March 22nd, 2023
1. It’s Wednesday Night, you know what that means. We start with a cold open showing that someone has assaulted the Young Bucks badly enough to give them rides on the wee-woo wagon. Hangman heads to the hospital with them, but Kenny and Callis remain there, distraught.
2. Orange Cassidy appears in his becoming-comfortable position of opening the show, and he’s teaming with Darby Allin and the rarely-matched up Sting. Nice touch with Orange Cassidy adding the least amount of face paint possible. They’re facing the Butcher, the Blade, and Kip Sabian, building off something built at their first house show. That’s interesting, incorporating the house shows into the television product a little bit? That’ll make them more unique and adds possibilities of what to see upon attendance.
3. Nice to hear them acknowledge the previous feud between Cassidy/Sabian. I appreciate when we don’t have to have Etch-a-Sketch memories in wrestling.
4. Sting tags in to “team off” with the Butcher. I absolutely love the way they’ve incorporated Sting into the product, not to mention what the association has done for Darby Allin. That’s what active legends should be doing.
5. Though I appreciate the commentators basically telling us that the Butcher and the Blade are the Adem of the wrestling mercenary world, it might help if we saw them actually win on occasion.
6. Sting does an Orange Cassidy impression by lazily rolling away. That is something I can safely say I never thought I’d see. That is some fantastically delicious glazed slices of HAM right there.
7. The show tonight is in Independence, Missouri, largest of the 847 places named Independence in this country, I believe. The smallest of which is likely the Independence Inn, before it burned down in favor of the Dragonfly anyway.
8. I’m a big fan of Kip and Penelope’s matching purple hair. Good color choice.
9. Another historical callback, dating back to when Orange Cassidy promised he was going to try. I believe that was in a post-show segment with Punk, wasn’t it? Sting does the OC soft kicks and his own taunt to boot, what a fantastic amount of fun this opening match is. AEW shows deliver on their hot openers almost all the time.
10. Darby Allin hits our AEW Bingo card with the first bite of the evening. Kip gets caught in the Scorpion Death Drop for a solid 30 seconds before it actually does the eponymous drop. The winners were never in doubt, but that was awesome all the same. OC puts the sunglasses on Sting, but Darby shows that he watches the other show this time a year. We all know if you want a match at a particular event, you look at and/or point at a sign.
11. MJF must’ve said some bad words, or the audio went out, as we get another recap of the opening HAM winner last week. Sammy Guevara must’ve been studying his early 2010s Alberto Del Rio promos, because the world title is his destinyyyyyyyyy. We’re re-running the “you’ve gotta win matches to face MJF” storyline, but this time the trios version.
12. Naturally after the big return of FTR recently to confront the Gunns, they’re defending the tag team belts against… Top Flight. Not that I’m not thrilled to see the Minneapolis boys getting a shot, but… okay?
13. Great little preview of the match between Kenny Omega and El Hijo del Vikingo, including the original time of when it was first intended. Well played yet again with the continuity, AEW.
14. Excalibur is getting text messages at the desk, so either it’s an update about the Young Bucks, or he’s about to find out that someone here is Jason Jordan’s dad. They mention the BCC by name, so that plays off the face… off last week.
15. Good play by blaming the Juniors Ass for Danhausen’s injury, especially given the chants they still receive as a result of a little song once upon a time.
16. It’s during the cheap heat that Tony talks about this being what they’re best at. Nothing wrong with the basics if it works, right?
17. These two young teams are working pretty well together. The crowd is into it too, which is a good sign for both this show and the young stars involved.
18. The Kingdom and their fantastic purple outfits attack Top Flight at ringside, which leads to the end of the match because wrestling. I didn’t know this was a thing, but if it’s giving those involved something to do, that’s a good thing.
19. I hear some synth, but one of the Juniors claims that nobody wants to hear that song. Fools.
20. The Gunns turn the HAM up to 11 in denying the FTR a tag team title shot, and FTR eventually put their careers on the line for a shot. Hmm, perhaps there was some fire to that smoke about them possibly headed elsewhere.
21. The sound continues to be inconsistent as we recap the Taya/Jade events from the last week, including what I missed on Rampage from it being unJBLly late due to March Madness. Mark Sterling does his cease-and-desist thing over the finisher that’s similar to Jade’s. Okay then.
22. Perennial HAM contender Stokely Hathaway, including his amazing custom Justin Roberts introduction, finally gets his no-DQ match with Hook… Hook… Where’s the Hook? and his amazing hair. Stokely hugs the referee goodbye.
23. Conveniently, Stokely isn’t medically cleared, and decides to retire today. The HAM is glorious and plentiful this evening. He has a doctor’s note which looks like a CVS note with “He’s sick” written on it. Wow.
24. Hook goes under the ring and gets… a piece of a futon support frame? The members of the Firm watch on backstage in mild concern. Just then, Stokely goes old-school and uses the fire extinguisher. He waits to do something about it for a solid 48 minutes before getting back in the ring, which earns him several chair shots and a suplex into the futon.
25. 1… 2… Oh no, goin’ to school. That would’ve been Hook’s first pinfall win, badass. The Redrum finishes off the unfortunate leader of the Firm, and Matt Hardy encourages Ethan Page to be the next to take him on.
26. Ohai Adam Cole, glad we’re getting updated on you. Feels like it’s been a while since we were seeing your vignettes post-return.
27. Pretty sure this is the first time he’s been live and in person since that surprise return a while back, which means we get the entrance, callbacks and everything.
28. We’re finally getting his return match, which is definitely good news to hear. It’s an AEW promo, so of course there’s going to be an interruption. Of all people, it’s Daniel Garcia coming back from the leather bar. Way to work a plug for Adam Cole’s channel into a heel promo though.
29. Garcia accidentally calls himself a pro wrestler, which is almost as hilarious as the tough guy voice he’s putting on. He sounds like he just watched a bunch of Eddie Kingston promos on YouTube and is trying to do one himself. Cole puts him over, though he’s taken over for Danielson in trying to lure him away from the JAS. All the vets have been lining up to be the one who does that.
30. Don Callis tries to distract Kenny from what’s going on. I mean first he leaves the group chat and now this? What a week.
31. The BCC is here, and they’ve all got their hoodies pulled up so you know they’re heels now. Mox is facing Stu Grayson, so we’ll see if the Dark Order continues to lose every single match in this alleged feud. Since it’s being implied that they took out the Young Bucks, they’ll be moving up to the Elite soon. The Dark Order is a good place for them to make that move too, given the Hangman link. Still, it’s hard to take the matches seriously with how one-sided it’s been. As someone who sat through the entire 2017 Cleveland Browns season hoping they’d at least get one win, I at least am somewhat aware of how they feel.
32. Every time I see the Dark Order pose, all I can hear is “nothing can stop the CLAW!” I can’t help it.
33. Grayson gets knocked off the ring apron and goes back first into the barricade, which can’t feel good even if you land it right. The Dark Order wards off Claudio and Wheeler Yuta, somehow given their track record, but fine.
34. Mox gives the anvil elbows, but Grayson gives them right back during his babyface fire. I’m glad Grayson is back, he’s so much fun to watch in the ring. BCC goes for the distraction again, and much like Top Flight earlier, he does a move to the outside to take out the offenders. Grayson gets a near-fall after the 450, which more people might’ve bitten on had that not been one they used just last week.
35. Grayson manages to be the first person that I can recall who finds a way out of Mox’s bulldog choke. That’s huge, regardless of the final result of this match.
36. Back-scratchies! Glad some things never change, since Mox is somehow not bleeding. Mox gets the win, Dark Order loses yet another match in this embarrassingly one-sided feud.
37. QTV happens. I’ve since been told it’s a parody of TMZ. Okay.
38. Skye Blue gets another marquee matchup in the women’s division, despite losing every one of them, and this time it’s against Toni Storm. The other Outcasts are at ringside, so I don’t like her chances. Not that I would anyway, but she’s usually pretty solid in the process.
39. Outside shenanigans begin already, right after a brutal-looking hip check. Toni dominates for a while, and Skye gets a few close calls during the comeback.
40. The villains cast distraction after a trademark move, which would be fine if this wasn’t at least the third time tonight, not to mention another match where the winner wasn’t ever in doubt.
41. Before the spray-paints can be done, Riho and Willow make the save in nearly a replay of the save last week. Can we get some progress in this story, please?
42. The main event is next, which likely means about four things will happen first, but fine. We get Stu Grayson getting a medical update, but they must’ve mistaken it for an interview because it gets interrupted about three seconds later. The BCC are big meanies again, so there’s little doubt they’re responsible for what happened to the Bucks earlier. Comparatively though, they let Grayson off pretty easy.
43. Other than the primer I got from the vignette earlier, I’m not familiar with Vikingo, but if they’re putting him in the ring with Omega, I’m expecting big things. I love his outfit and theme though, it sets him apart from everyone else on the roster almost immediately.
44. Kenny in a singles match means we also get the custom Roberts introduction too. I love this introduction and how it’s always a little bit different everywhere he goes, and it’s also not too repetitive since we don’t hear it often given that Omega has mostly been in the trios division since his return. I wonder if the Callis/Takeshita storyline has progressed on other shows.
45. Vikingo cuts off the entrance and does a dive with the fur cape still on, holy hell that looked cool. He delivers a beautiful ringside shooting star press to Omega on the outside too, after the crowd had already started chanting that this is indeed awesome.
46. It’s an AEW crowd, so of course they want tables. I’m always amused that, of all the regularly-used weapons, that’s the one that seems to get the weekly chants.
47. Omega hits a monkey flip on the apron, and I think that was supposed to be through the table but he didn’t get enough air. Hardest part of the ring or not, that couldn’t have felt good.
48. Vikingo goes to the top turnbuckles, and does an incredible dragonrana to the outside, which involves a full flipping rotation before he even connects with Omega. I’m sure he does this all the time, but sometimes my relative ignorance is a blessing. I love getting to experience things for the first time, even if they’re not actually new.
49. Omega gets countered out of a bomb to a really scary landing that either was on his head or really looked like it. Vikingo gets another near-fall. There’s a standing ovation before the match is even done, this is amazing.
50. We got a little old school Jericho in there with the double powerbomb. Not even a symphony in there. Where is Wardlow anyway?
51. Omega starts getting angry and hits that beautiful snapdragon suplex he’s so fond of.
52. Speaking of landing on heads though, the reverse hurricanrana was scary as hell. It was just this side of Bronson Reed at Elimination Chamber in terms of things that scared me for the wrong reasons when I saw them. It’s followed up with a 630 through the table. This is absolute chaos.
53. Omega takes advantage of a missed 630 and wins with the one-winged angel. What an absolute banger exhibition, and Omega shows the proper respect. The commentators say of Vikingo that if you didn’t know who he was before tonight, you do now. I can say for sure I concur.
54. Tony heads to the ring to give Omega a chance to speak afterward. So I’m expecting an interruption, oh what a surprise, promus interruptus. The BCC gang up on Omega, but then we get sirens so loud that I had to look outside to make sure they were on the show. Holla if ya hear cowboy shit!
55. Hangman hits the ring, and the BCC bail despite a three-on-one advantage (and Don Callis.) One weapon can do amazing things though. Hangman making the save on Omega is a great follow-up to the stand-off from last week.
56. Don Callis takes a powder and blames it on Hangman, so the tension won’t be quite resolved yet. If only they had one of those convenient replay thingies that pop up every now and then… Hangman too has on some awesome purple though, so that’s worth noting.
57. This Dynamite is hard to wrap up in terms of a solitary opinion. The in-ring work was all good-to-great, especially the first and last matches. It was a little redundant, save for the new twist in the Elite Reunion tale. It felt like a special Rampage due to no matches with the winners in question at all, but at the same time, what a main event. It was good, if predictable, but also, it was predictable… Does that make sense? I hope it does.
LARGE HAM
1/4/23 – The Gunns
1/11/23 – Daddy Magic
1/13/23 – Danhausen
1/18/23 – Sonjay Dutt
1/20/23 – Stokely Hathaway
1/25/23 – Tony Schiavone
1/27/23 – Danhausen
2/1/23 – Jade Cargill
2/3/23 – Ethan Page
2/8/23 – MJF
2/10/23 – STIIIIIIING
2/15/23 – Ruby Soho
2/17/23 – Dustin Rhodes
2/22/23 – Chris Jericho
2/24/23 – Matt Hardy
3/1/23 – Big Bill
3/3/23 – Jungle Boy
3/5/23 – MJF
3/8/23 – Anthony Bowens
3/10/23 – Riho
3/15/23 – MJF/Darby Allin/Jungle Boy/Sammy Guevara
3/22/23 – STIIIIIING
There were many contenders, all of them previous winners, but Sting doing the Orange Cassidy gimmick multiple times has to take it this week.