IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #428
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Thoughts on AEW Dynamite – May 24th, 2023
1. It’s Wednesday, the air quality is shit because of smoke from the wildfires, it’s the last Dynamite before Double or Nothing, let’s fuckin’ party.
2. Hey, there’s a familiar sound, “Jane” starting a show to kick off an International Championship match. Given that he was booked for a casino battle royale on Sunday, I don’t see him losing it here, but stranger things have happened.
3. Cassidy gets kicked right in the fuck just as the match starts and nearly gets a pinfall win. OC is selling the head like hell and his hand is bandaged. I like the way he’s slowly adapted to the exhaustion he’s been experiencing, not just the obvious but the little details of the desperation punches and the weary expressions. It’s great character work.
4. OC pushes Fletcher off the top, making him flip onto the ring apron, and then hits a flying… throw? I don’t know what to call that. I think it was supposed to be the DDT. OC rolls in the ring and desperately wants Bryce to count the ten.
5. “There’s no one to tag in, you’re on your own, Solo Jones.” I love Taz on commentary.
6. This is a delightful version of the psych out game. He’d get at least a single calling Fletcher in and rolling out, then vice versa. Fletcher looks appropriately annoyed. Fletcher tries to flip it by running to the other side, but OC keeps rolling in a circle. I love it.
7. Fletcher hits a sweet Michinoku Driver (which as it turns out, is not a Falcon Arrow) for a near-fall. I think I heard Taz say “Michinoku Jones.” What is with Jones today? Are we really into popular soda from the 90s or something?
8. Exhausted soft chops, which is a psych out and not the latest pork product at the local pub. Fletcher then gets a damn double tombstone and somehow gets out of it. That is insane to think about, given how revered that move was growing up. When Kane kicked out of two that weren’t rapid fire at WrestleMania, that was a career moment.
9. Fletcher goes up top with OC on his shoulder. OC then… adjusts himself more appropriately? I think? Not sure what he was going for there, but it ends with yet another dramatic kickout. Cassidy uses the ropes to push off for a counter and he goes HAM… only to get kicked in the face. He somehow pulls off a switcheroo into a roll-up and gets a win despite being wrecked by Kyle Fletcher.
10. I didn’t expect Fletcher to win given the match booked on Sunday, but he looked tremendous and only lost by fluke, pretty much.
11. Ricky Starks is in the battle royal, sure why not? His glasses look like Edge and Christian circa 2000 joined the Men in Black. Oh, here’s something new, Ricky is attacked by Jay White and Juice Robinson. Both of them HAM it up though, so it’s enjoyable nonetheless. One or both of them will join Ricky in the battle royal, I’m sure.
12. Final Pillar promo, starting with Jungle Boy. They’ve all (sans MJF) had to talk a lot more than ever before. JB gets a little bit edgier, and I wonder if he’s gonna fall for MJF’s advice.
13. FTR comes out to give the Carny Gang credit for being smart for what they do, I guess. But more importantly, they’ve been lucky. Wait, which is it? Either they’ve been able to do what they want despite them knowing it’s coming, or they’ve gotten away with it from being lucky. I’m not sure you can be both at the same time. But fine.
14. Dax then calls them a couple of rejects from TNA (ooooh, he said it.) He then drops some bombs about his wife too.
15. Here comes Mark Briscoe to make everything better by mere presence. FTR continues to try to convince Mark they’re on his side. Mark asks what the piledriver was all about, because he didn’t watch the replay. Dax asks him to shake his hand, and it turns into a slap and a shouting match. That went well.
16. Mark then goes up and smacks everyone out of the way from the Carny Gang. He tells Lethal he’s tired of the bullshit and leaves. That was definitely a thing that happened.
17. Sammy gets an interview with Renee, because she relays the offer that he can still lay down for the big check. He says he’s not for sale… despite the fact that he was a month ago and played nice with MJF until he didn’t, but fine.
18. Open House match coming up, I love the House of Black having their own match type. Great phrase on commentary, “they rent space in their opponents’ heads.” What a great way to put the psychological game.
19. Facing the House of Black is AR Fox, Blake Christian, and Metalik. Any three can challenge, so here we are.
20. I think the lights look neat, I can’t help it. It helps that I can actually see what’s going on. I don’t like the challengers’ chances, but it should be fun anyway. These kinds of matches have to established as an advantage before anyone comes close to beating them.
21. Is the crowd really quiet or is the sound not mixed well? I can’t tell. I hope it’s better for Sunday.
22. Fox has the unfortunate responsibility of trying to face down Brody King. It doesn’t go well.
23. Blake Christian also gets to find out that his kicks to face mean nothing. I don’t think it can be called a squash, but it was an emphatic win.
24. I just realized that minus Wheeler Yuta, the BCC/Elite feud is Originals vs. Outcasts with actual proper build.
25. It’s a go-home show, and unfortunately, it feels like one.
26. MJF gets the crowd to react one way or the other, so this is well placed. He comes over to the commentary table just to throw water on Tony, and it makes Taz corpse. Better than a kid in the crowd, I suppose.
27. Here’s a quip about your local area. At least it’s not about the sports teams. That outfit deserves its own HAM award.
28. It turns into a “brag about the Pillars” plug, and I’m sure it’s a bait-and-switch, but it does put over the match. He’s bored, LOL. He’s turning the setup of the match into some kind of MITB2011 conspiracy, but he does it such a smug, silly way that I can’t help but laugh.
29. The last remaining unspoken Pillar comes out, and his music offends the champ. Of the three non-MJF pillars, Darby has come across the best, promo-wise. It’s been the most consistent and authentic, and he’s the one I believe wants it more than anything.
30. He reiterates that this is the only company who would let him do the outside extreme shit he wants to do. Nothing’s more extreme than the Headlock Takeover though. MJF does the casual low blow but Sammy Guevara makes the save. MJF tries to run away, but there’s Jungle Boy. JB also wore light blue, good thing he’s the one in frame at the end of the segment.
31. Wardlow and Arn deliver the final words, making sure they know how many days it is until the ladder match. Is everyone more mellow than usual tonight or is it just me?
32. Lady Frost is taking on Taya Valkyrie, and she’s from Erie, PA. Well, if you need frost, that’s a good place to accumulate it. Not quite Minnesota levels, but enough for the name.
33. This is unfortunately the 3rd match of 3 tonight with a very obvious winner, since one is booked on Sunday and the other isn’t. Frost has a unique look though, and I’m eager to see what she can do tonight.
34. Jade and Co. come out to be all green velvet at the match, but they do it smugly, so it works. Better than angry. You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.
35. Lady Frost has got some moves, damn. I feel bad she’s getting her showcase under these circumstances, but she’s taking full advantage of it regardless.
36. Taya hits her not-Jaded finisher, which I guess I missed a Rampage somewhere because that’s okay and not worthy of being sued now. That was the worst excuse for a gimmicked error I’ve heard in a while, so at least it’s gone for now.
37. Tony is back on screen to definitely not read off what he’s saying, and they’ve delayed announcing where the first Collision will be. It’s totally obviously gonna be Daily’s Place, right? Of course not, it’s at the United Center, for no reason in particular.
38. Backstage, Alex is asking about the friendship of the Elite, because he didn’t watch BTE this week. I still love the brown eye patch, it looks awesome. They’re not friends, they’re Vin Diesel’s favorite thing.
39. Tony’s happier to announce Adam Cole this time, and there’s a contract signing for the unsanctioned match. Contract signing, definitely has go-home show energy, but this whole show does, so…
40. We’ve got Judas, we’ve got Jericho and JAS, we’ve got Roddy. Nothing out of sorts is going to happen. Absolutely nothing. They agreed to no physicality, so I’m sure they’ll respect that and move on until the appropriate time.
41. Cole couldn’t figure out why Jericho handcuffed him while the Outcasts beat up Britt, and Jericho puts his feet up and looks like he could be delivering an RVD promo circa 2001. “Hey, cool. Whatever, man.” Cole’s gonna be challenging Jericho’s “invincibility,” so just in case, they should hide his Pat Benatar records. Wouldn’t want him to get some Legend of Billie Jean energy and make a comeback. Heels don’t get to claim “fair is fair.”
42. Cole has some very specific bodily injuries he intends to inflict. “Sign it, bitch.” Jericho and all of his needles are very upset by such notions. There’s a “sign it, bitch” chant going, so there is a crowd in the arena after all.
43. But before I sign… Of course. Jericho has to re-interpret everything to justify his actions. Jericho’s threat is far less severe, he’s gonna knock his teeth down his throat. That seems tame compared to broken legs and shattered jaws. But also, MATH. 5 of JAS, 2 of them. But oh snap, there was a phone call made…
44. Holy shit, it’s Sabu. Didn’t see that coming. Taz’s reaction is the best! It’s weird not seeing him appear after a lights out moment. Of all the companies in the world that would do a lights out surprise moment, it’s AEW, and this is the one they choose not to do it? That’s certainly a choice. Sabu starts throwing chairs to end the segment.
45. Meanwhile, after a Jamie Hayter/Toni Storm preview, Adam Cole’s music is fading out as Daniel Garcia takes off his tiny shirt to face Roderick Strong. It goes pretty much exactly as you’d expect, there’s not much to say about it, really. It’s perfectly fine.
46. A video showing that Willow Nightingale beat Mercedes Mone, which is awesome that the latter is mentioned instead of just being hinted at. Good for her, I’m happy she won a big match somewhere.
47. The main event is Claudio and Yuta vs. the Lucha Brothers as a result of the Double Jeopardy match. I’d like to say the Lucha Brothers should retain since we haven’t seen the Elite all night (except for Hangman backstage) and I imagine some shenanigans are going down. You can’t lead into an Anarchy in the Arena match without shenanigans, it’s against the rules.
48. Their lone defense was the QT/Hobbs match? That’s… certainly not a frequent defense record. Orange Cassidy has had like 87 defenses in that time.
49. Danielson is on commentary to be delightfully heel, and it’s a great setup for the match on Sunday.
50. Fenix does 6 or 7 springboard bounces before his outside dive. Might as well own it when you get the chance.
51. Danielson mentions the word “shots” more often than a club mix in the mid-2010s. Or so I’m told.
52. The Big Swing gets a pop whether Claudio is a heel or not. Danielson mentions Regal on commentary about being taught to protect their necks. I’m surprised he’s still being mentioned by name, but not in a bad way.
53. This match is pure fun, and this show desperately needed that. Pretty much everything tonight has felt like stalling for Sunday.
54. The Young Bucks appear at ringside and cost the BCC the match. They bail into the crowd. It’s not an unexpected result, but it’s probably not over either.
55. Mox and Danielson chase the bucks up the steps in the arena. Mox grabs the mic and throws more threats their way. Lots of internet words, and they sell the importance of the match. Oh, that’s it? All right then. Sunday should be a lot of fun, but the build for the show felt like it was a week too long with this show.
1/4/23 – The Gunns
1/11/23 – Daddy Magic
1/13/23 – Danhausen
1/18/23 – Sonjay Dutt
1/20/23 – Stokely Hathaway
1/25/23 – Tony Schiavone
1/27/23 – Danhausen
2/1/23 – Jade Cargill
2/3/23 – Ethan Page
2/8/23 – MJF
2/10/23 – STIIIIIIING
2/15/23 – Ruby Soho
2/17/23 – Dustin Rhodes
2/22/23 – Chris Jericho
2/24/23 – Matt Hardy
3/1/23 – Big Bill
3/3/23 – Jungle Boy
3/5/23 – MJF
3/8/23 – Anthony Bowens
3/10/23 – Riho
3/15/23 – MJF/Darby Allin/Jungle Boy/Sammy Guevara
3/22/23 – STIIIIIING
3/29/23 – Juice Robinson
3/31/23 – Eddie Kingston
4/5/23 – MJF
4/7/23 – Darby Allin/Julia Hart
4/12/23 – STIIIIIIIIING
4/14/23 – 2.0/Biff Hager
4/19/23 – Sammy Guevara
4/26/23 – MJF
5/3/23 – Triple J/Mark Briscoe
5/5/23 – The Firm Deletion – All of it
5/10/23 – Chuck Taylor and Trent Baretta
5/17/23 – Toni Storm
5/24/23 – Jay White