IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #433
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Thoughts on AEW Collision – June 24th, 2023
1. It’s Saturday night, and the last week I was in Washington state watching everything on delay, but I caught it all eventually. I enjoyed a good majority of the first Collision and the most recent Dynamite, so I’m looking forward to tonight and tomorrow.
2. Bonus HAM (from last week) for the choice of using Elton, one of the all-time HAMs, as the theme for this show. It fits perfectly with how fun this show could be if it keeps up the energy of last week’s.
3. We get a cold open with the members of the 4v4 tag getting a few extra promo words in before leading in to the opening titles. Love it.
4. Tony starts us off in the middle of the ring, and right away, we’re about to find out who is teaming up with Sting and Darby.
5. Jericho with a classic throwback, and it worked within the context of the situation: “I’m from Winnipeg, you idiots.” Well played. They’re almost as pissed off as the Chicago crowd was at having to wait to find out the final member of their match. Or at least almost as angry as the disco ball who had to be senselessly hunted and disfigured to make that jacket Jericho’s wearing. Jericho and Murder Grandpa even have a special handshake, how adorable. Jericho turns his attention to Tony, and it’s threatening him that gets them to arrive, complete with Tony on cue.
6. Darby invokes Sammy’s daughter while alluding back to the conversation they had before. With one line on commentary, those who don’t know who this is have some idea of why this might be important. It’s someone who beat Jericho in a championship match before, Tetsuya Naito, so that fits. They come face to face, but Jericho powders and takes out his frustration with a bat on the poor announce desk .
7. Miro gets to talk, this show is instantly better already, no matter how the previous segment fared. He renounces everything, even his… wife? All right then.
8. While I don’t expect Swerve to win this one a night before Tanahashi challenges MJF, I think it instantly elevates him just by having this match with the Ace. The commentators continue to do a much better job than last year of filling in people on who these unfamiliar names might be, so the company does listen to feedback. Always good to see.
9. We’ve got air guitars, excellent!
10. Swerve continues to take tremendous enjoyment out of being a slimy heel, and it conversely makes him so endearing. I like when we can have heels who aren’t being chickenshit. Speaking of which, utilizing the ring apron for a kick in the face for the sake of it. Such joy.
11. The crowd seems to have shown up to be good and loud, that’s a good sign. One of them holds up a sign that says “please don’t get hurt.” Considering how last year’s Forbidden Door season went in that regard, very reasonable request for hope’s sake.
12. This, like Andrade/Buddy last week, is one of those matches that just makes me love wrestling. Tanahashi ends up getting the win, though Swerve got a majority of the offense in the match and I think doesn’t lose any credibility in the long run. I don’t know how many stables that Swerve is going to start and then lose with, but what can ya do.
13. MJF’s music with a bit of a weird remix of the intro starts to play almost immediately after Tanahashi’s win. MJF pulls a Bork Laser and demands to have the first match of the show. Smarmy dipshit does smarmy dipshit things and remains great at it.
14. After the result of last week, the second in command of the House of Black decides to pick up where the other left off to take a turn. And damn, Andrade seems quite revitalized, despite K-Squared having trouble saying his name.
15. Andrade manages to hook into the ropes for a show-off taunt while also still selling the taped-up shoulder, that’s some awareness right there. He unfortunately forgot to ask for the no creepy witches to burn through the ditches stipulation, as he’s briefly distracted by Julia. He shrugs it off in order to pull off a moonsault over the ring post to the ground, and no matter how easy he makes it look, that has to be terrifying for at least a second.
16. Duolingo, K-Kel. Andraddy? Come on. If only the announcer said the name before the match to know how it’s pronounced or something…
17. Brody’s agility is unreal, no matter how many matches I’ve seen him in. And hey, they figured that Murder Grandpa was in the ring in the opening, so why not have a few chop-offs? Maybe not four minutes’ worth like the Joe match from a while back, but enough to count for something.
18. Every time they say that CMFTRicky are facing two of the best tag teams in the world, which is every time they show the graphic of course, one of the teams they’re saying that about is the Juniors Ass, which in and of itself is amusing. Not that I dislike them, especially their Shawn Michaels-esque attire with Vaporwave Western chic entrance, but not yet.
19. Buddy interferes when Andrade has a submission in, and I guess they’re going full heel mode between this and last week. Considering how over they are as neutral/tweeners, that’s a decision. Julia seems to be directing traffic while holding Andrade’s mask. They turn to Malakai making a silly face on screen, everything goes black, and… that’s it. Okay then. Another great match but not quite sure what that ending was supposed to be.
20. We come back with Tony in the ring again, and K-Dog asking who is more handsome than Tony. I guess without Regal there to hit on him every week, the void needed to be filled elsewhere.
21. Generic Evanescence rip-off means the not-champion Christian Cage is here with the Lizard Shredder merc who won the actual match along with him. Curious to see where this goes with Christian’s usual manipulative brain logics. Tony’s nice enough to remind him of where he’s from, that’s good of him. Christian gets a good chant going before he says anything, so I imagine he’ll try to turn them after one or two decent pops. Yep, there it is. It is a “your local sports team” thing, but if it works, it works.
22. He’s referring to himself as the champion, and Luchasaurus seems perfectly fine with it. He cuts off open challenges, which is a thing you can do when it’s convenient, I suppose. There’s even a not-subtle Cody Rhodes reference because they can’t resist, and that’s what we get tonight. Why Luchasaurus is fine with this isn’t clear to me, but I’m sure it will be eventually.
23. A nice little preview of the Owen Hart tournament, everyone is made to feel like they have a legitimate chance, though there’s some potential feud rematches in there should the brackets go a few certain ways.
24. Perpetual Happiness incarnate, Willow, is getting the next match in the women’s Owen Hart tourney after Skye Blue won last night. One wrestler has a match tomorrow at the PPV, one does not, I wonder who is going to win tonight? It’s a mystery.
25. The power is matched between the two as they both attempt to shoulder block each other unsuccessfully. I suppose you could say… there was a collision between the two. Yeah, I’ll see myself out. I did that to pop two people, I don’t care if you groaned.
26. We get some ringside brawling, and I’m pretty sure Marina told someone that their mama sucks. It was so quiet and casual that it was somehow hilarious.
27. These two are playing up the power vs. power really well. Willow has learned nothing from Orange Cassidy, because she keeps trying to hit with the arm she hurt. Willow comes back outta nowhere with a POOOOOOOUUUUUUNCE! They even throw in a Monty Brown nod with it! She gets the win with a powerbomb, damn that was awesome.
28. It’s the women’s segment of the show, so naturally the Outcasts surround the ring. Skye Blue runs in with a chair because this is the angle that will never move forward.
29. Hey, it’s Scorpio Sky, good to see him finally back too. He reintroduces himself to the volume trying to figure out where the hell it’s supposed to be, and I guess he rented Night at the Museum recently because he snapped off the lights. That or he’s joining the House of Black, not sure which is more likely.
30. Powerhouse Hobbs has a match, and I’m doing my best to MiB-flash my memory that he’s in the QTV stuff, now featuring Johnny Lastnamehere. He’s facing Jeremy Prophet, who turns his back on Hobbs so he’s screwed. Hobbs hilariously no-sells a roll-up attempt as if he were inconvenienced. Hobbs has made a spinebuster a legitimate finishing move again, and this is no exception to the rule.
31. Kevin forgets what the show they’re about to preview is, and Nigel calls Danielson a “pasty clamdigger.” If ya can’t match the speed of the Excalibur rundown, might as well add a different flavor to it.
32. The main event is up next, and I’ll be interested to see how they make this 4v4 distinct from last week’s 3v3 with most of the same cast of characters.
33. Anytime Juice is on screen doing a thing, the HAM levels go off the charts. The guy somehow makes even entrances joyously over the top. They reference the BCG stepping into a “hostile” environment a week after they went against CM Punk in Chicago, okay then.
34. It’s nice to see them at least somewhat referring to statistics and win-loss records again.
35. Ricky Starks and FTR in the same match? The Vaporwave vibes are numerous and exponential.
36. Let’s see how Punk’s first non-Chicago entrance goes. I think “mixed” would be generous, and I think Punk delights in it, as he steps out already playing it up. There are chants but quite a bit of heat too, and I think that will be the norm for at least a while. It’s louder than anyone else’s regardless though.
37. Team BCG keep avoiding the first lock-up with Punk until Juice decides a HAM injection is necessary. He forces Punk to tag in Dax and then yells “YOU! OUT!” Amazing.
38. I didn’t realize that the Juniors Ass beating the Hardyz was the first time they’d lost in a tag match in AEW. I mean, Jeff wasn’t around that long before he went away for a long time, but still. Maybe they emphasized that at the time during the show, but I don’t remember it.
39. Jay gets tagged in and wants to lock up with Punk this time. Keeping with one of the themes this evening, there’s a chop-off. Juice and the Juniors use this as an opportunity for some shenanigans, and that’s our picture-in-picture point.
40. The Juniors Ass hold their ears when the crowd chants “ass boys.” It’s precious.
41. They were chanting about mostly Punk, whether or not he was in the ring, so the reaction just turns up a notch when he does tag back in. Juice continues to yell and be ridiculous, even from the floor. Jay then backs him up in the corner saying “Mr. Punk, Mr. Punk.” I love wrestling.
42. With Punk taking the heat mixed with the reaction, he’s doing the “in peril” thing despite a percentage of the crowd wanting that. It never stops being interesting, to say the least. The pro-Punk chants seem to get louder as the dueling ones begin, and I don’t know what to make of it except that it’s loud and keeps things somewhat unpredictable.
43. The little touches just make it even better. Hearing some of the trash talk as well as seeing Punk reach but Jay kick his hands away, the details just improve the experience and I appreciate that.
44. Juice tries to set up for the GTS, and Nigel reacts like the greatest thing in the world is about to happen. Unfortunately for him, it is just a tribute, and Punk finally tags out to Ricky. Thank you FITE once again for letting me see this match in its entirety without the ads.
45. It looks like we’re about to have a melee to go into the last few minutes. We’ve got tag finishers, we’ve got dives to varying results, we get three spears from Ricky Starks. There’s some sneaky shenanigans though, and Jay pins Ricky. This match had an entirely different vibe than the first one, so that was quite well done in many ways. The other side had to win this one after last week, I think, but it was still really fun. I still hope Ricky keeps being in the main event. Another fun Collision in the books. Forbidden Door looks to outdo its predecessor on many levels, and I’m really excited to see it. A ton of matches were added to the Zero Hour portion of the show too, so it’s gonna be a long night, but in a good way.
1/4/23 – The Gunns
1/11/23 – Daddy Magic
1/13/23 – Danhausen
1/18/23 – Sonjay Dutt
1/20/23 – Stokely Hathaway
1/25/23 – Tony Schiavone
1/27/23 – Danhausen
2/1/23 – Jade Cargill
2/3/23 – Ethan Page
2/8/23 – MJF
2/10/23 – STIIIIIIING
2/15/23 – Ruby Soho
2/17/23 – Dustin Rhodes
2/22/23 – Chris Jericho
2/24/23 – Matt Hardy
3/1/23 – Big Bill
3/3/23 – Jungle Boy
3/5/23 – MJF
3/8/23 – Anthony Bowens
3/10/23 – Riho
3/15/23 – MJF/Darby Allin/Jungle Boy/Sammy Guevara
3/22/23 – STIIIIIING
3/29/23 – Juice Robinson
3/31/23 – Eddie Kingston
4/5/23 – MJF
4/7/23 – Darby Allin/Julia Hart
4/12/23 – STIIIIIIIIING
4/14/23 – 2.0/Biff Hager
4/19/23 – Sammy Guevara
4/26/23 – MJF
5/3/23 – Triple J/Mark Briscoe
5/5/23 – The Firm Deletion – All of it
5/10/23 – Chuck Taylor and Trent Baretta
5/17/23 – Toni Storm
5/24/23 – Jay White
5/28/23 – Darby Allin
5/31/23 – Juice Robinson
6/7/23 – MJF
6/9/23 – Ethan Page
6/14/23 – The cardboard cutout of Saraya
6/17/23 – CM Punk
6/21/23 – Adam Cole/MJF
6/23/23 – Anthony Bowens
6/24/23 – Powerhouse Hobbs
It’d be easy to give it to Juice again, which is something I can say anytime he’s involved in the show, but Powerhouse’s no-sell of the roll-up attempt made me laugh out loud, so I’m gonna give it to him this time.