IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #442
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Thoughts on AEW Dynamite – August 16th, 2023
1. It’s Wednesday night, etc. We’re starting off with a familiar sound: “Jane.” Which means we’re in for another opening International title defense on Dynamite, and that’s good news. I’m not sure if I ever caught the striking of “All-Atlantic” and “International Champion” written under it on the screen before, but that’s a perfect touch of detail.
2. I feel like Wheeler Yuta is the right kind of wrestler who would get a huge rub from breaking a title streak like this, but I also don’t know how wise it would be to do a title change a week before the biggest show in company history. Maybe this will lead to OC vs. Mox instead? Wheeler already had one shot, earlier in his “little shit” run, but they work extremely well together, as one would expect.
3. A piledriver on the ramp reminds us that it’s one of the moves we don’t see over-used and less effective nearly as often anymore. They really sell how dangerous of a move it is on commentary, and regardless of what some of the other effects of clearing things beforehand may have, I think that is a good one. Big, dangerous, and/or flashy moves should mean more than a heatless two-count.
4. The crowd chants something that I can’t make out at Wheeler, but he’s getting good heat despite taking the fall in pretty much every BCC loss this year. That’s effective character work, and he’s amplifying the attitude extra tonight. Orange does a Tope, and Yuta’s head bounces off the barricade, which always makes me nervous.
5. Surprising to literally nobody, the other BCC fellas show up to look menacing. Mox in the white t-shirt gives even more of a “no fucks left to give” vibe in a way that only Mox can. A few reversals lead to Orange Cassidy retaining, but Claudio attacks before the music can even hit.
6. Finally, the BFFs’ music hits to make the save, intimidating pretty much no one in the process. They’re in absolutely no hurry either. Their big save doesn’t go well, but the speaking of “in no hurry,” the Lucha Brothers also come out. The BCC is finally on the outside, but they grab chairs to balance things out.
7. Now there’s some badass Big Save music, here comes Eddie to a massive pop. There’s a lot of characters in the ring, but damn right you’re gonna save the best for last.
8. Eddie takes the mic and makes a challenge for a Stadium Stampede match! Hell yeah, might as well have one of those in a massive stadium while you’re there. Trying to figure out who is included in the “us” side against “whoever you can find” contingent. Eddie, Lucha Brothers, and BFs, with OC in a separate title defense? Or all 6 of them against the 3 BCCers and three others? I hope for the BCC’s sake they do a better job of finding allies this time around, since both of them bailed from the last huge match they were in that had a recruitment drive.
9. A classic sit-down interview with JR. I can’t help but think of those with Foley in 1997 that made him so much more of a compelling character. Here with Omega, he’s doing a lot of personal elaboration in a very short amount of time, even with a sympathetic view of Don Callis after everything. Can’t choose your family after all.
10. Even an interview taped the day before is gonna be interrupted because AEW. Don provides the distraction, and the Bullet Club Gold and Takeshita attack while JR walks away like “I ain’t got time for this shit.”
11. A pre-taped Hangman segment in front of an ambulance, that no controversy is attached to at all. But it means we’ve got Omega, Hangman, and Kota against Takeshita, Juice, and Jay. Two huge matches added to an already huge card, damn!
12. Don Callis is announced at the same time he starts talking, because he has no time for formalities. It goes into a commercial because they absolutely love spreading this story out literally as much as possible. Chris Jericho’s answer right after this.
13. Chris Jericho with that Canadian “sorry” makes him a little more endearing as he explains that he doesn’t join factions, he creates them. He builds it up like a no, but turns up the HAM for the yes while Don Callis sees his HAM and raises it a bunch of excited “yes!” exclamations. Thank goodness, I did not want Jericho to turn face out of this. But oh, what’s that cryptic gift under the curtain? Holy shit, that’s… dark. It’s Don with Chris Jericho’s severed head. Damn, I might’ve spoken too soon.
14. Jericho starts throwing out insults and they start yelling about the Truth. Callis admits he didn’t expect him to say yes because of his massive ego. Don’s insulting him now and saying he doesn’t deserve to be a part of the family he spent weeks inviting him to. This totally makes sense. We’re still doing this in front of a recreation of the Badd Blood ’97 poster, by the way.
15. Jericho attacks Callis, so I assume this is where Ospreay gets involved? Nope, Takeshita first, but he already has a match. Yep, there’s Ospreay. They’re really gonna try to make Jericho the face against Will Ospreay at Wembley? They continue assaulting Jericho and at least right now, I don’t care.
16. Callis cracks the painting over Jericho’s head, and hey, there’s Sammy. There’s far more of a face pop for him because of course there is, you had this guy alienate all his friends in the process of him not joining this stable for a reason flimsier than the invitation to Death Triangle being revoked in Fight Forever.
17. As this show is in full 1.5x playback, Jack Perry says he’s going to retire the FTW title next week, because he can do that I guess. No time to breathe before Darby Allin’s music hits, and here comes he and Nick Wayne… nope, psych, there’s the Gates of Agony.
18. It’s exactly what you’d expect from a face in peril 20 seconds into the match going into commercial break after being attacked. It does end in a pretty cool spot with Darby and Nick on the same turnbuckle, while Darby hits the Coffin Drop, Nick moonsaults to the outside at the same time.
19. Ohai, Joker-ish Sting, a pre-record making the save. Might as well, there’s not enough time for another entrance. Joker Sting HAMs it up and he’s got Prince Nana.
20. More MJF/Adam Cole gold, what kind of shenanigans will they get up to at the Outback steakhouse. Wow. They put over Outback, because it’s so good that it makes MJF think they don’t have a chance. Now AC wants them to watch Crocodile Dundee, while MJF watches kangaroos fighting on his phone. The sequel to the Double Clothesline is the Kangaroo Kick, but hey, let’s go hunting fake crocs too. Ridiculous hats and all. MJF and Adam Cole double clothesline someone holding an inflatable crocodile into a kiddy pool, which is a sentence I just wrote like anyone else has a chance at HAM of the Year. Please don’t break these two up.
21. Then, we’re not done, we don’t get robot announcement Tony Khan, we get “you destroyed 20 cars!” yelling behind a closed door Tony Khan. Then Roddy and the Kingdom find their car, and Daddy has to take a dump. Can we just give these guys their own spin-off show at this point? Put it in the old Elevation YouTube spot.
22. I think MJF just did the Anthony Bowens intro, minus the Scissoring afterward. These two are just an endless source of delight and over-the-top silliness, and I’m here for every second of it. MJF continues to get the Kangaroo Kick over, which is surprisingly easy to chant in rhythm.
23. Adam Cole talking about how doctors told him he may never wrestle again is something that would’ve gotten him the more sympathetic lens in any other feud at any other time, but I think the crowd is going to be behind MJF in the main event. This storyline has pushed him into the territory where he’s so over that I think he’d get cheered regardless of who turns on who. Adam Cole even quotes the buildup for WrestleMania 17, nice touch.
24. MJF is gonna one-up, even stealing Adam Cole’s intro line. His dream opponents were Cody Rhodes and Adam Cole, the former still getting mentioned on TV, as we don’t have to pretend that someone who isn’t in the company anymore never existed. He talks about putting 90,000 miles on his vehicle in a year, and… yep, can relate. We continue the story leading into the first All In, and he’s selling hard. He’s using industry terms, but not in the 1998 “the booker man kept holding me down” kind of way.
25. We don’t get to see two people cutting emotional promos to lead up to a main event where they’re friends facing each other too often. This is a really unique dynamic, and it’s working. This is the same guy who was talking about faking the circumstances of a car accident earlier this year, just a reminder.
27. They trade catch phrases at each other, but Aussie Open attacks. We haven’t seen enough surprise attacks tonight yet, so add another. They tease the Double Clothesline in their comeback attempt, and Fletcher also gets saved from the Kangaroo Kick, and that gets the crowd chanting for it again. Adam Cole suddenly sets up behind MJF like he’s gonna make an attack. The crowd chants for them to Hug it Out, so of course they do. Strong and the Kingdom watch on, because they’re still here as well. Elevation YouTube time slot, just these two and their weekly sitcom shenanigans. I’d watch the hell out of it.
28. Renee is backstage with Jericho while he’s getting the blood cleaned off his face. This is a match that was supposed to be in the Tokyo Dome in 2021, but this match is more powerful than pandemics apparently. Jericho summons his inner Mox and starts playing with blood and talking about drinking it. Fine. I’m sure the match itself will be good, though All In is getting longer every segment of Dynamite. Thankfully it starts in the morning our time.
29. The battle of the Jeffs, and neither are from Northern Ohio, how disappointing. (That reference is for an audience of one and I don’t care.) AEW is like “hey, as long as you can get people to give you money for putting a brand name on a match, might as well make it a badass-sounding one.” How you gonna have a match like this without Terry Funk and a dumpster though?
30. Jeff Hardy goes backstage into Kane’s part of the backstage while chanting for himself. Satnam attacks almost immediately, and it looks like a horror movie scene between the choke spot and the face-paint. The odds are balanced while Karen does the horror movie scream. They also get some fake blood just to make the long escape more dramatic. For a death match, this is goofy as hell, but in a good way.
31. All these red lights, Jacob Goodnight has to be around somewhere, just saying. Oh, there’s Jay Lethal too. I’m sure there are a ton of references to the sponsor material that I’m not getting, and that’s okay. I’m sure those who have seen it appreciate it. My basis of reference for Texas Chainsaw Massacre is the character Chainsaw from Summer School.
32. Even for Picture-in-picture, TLC must be here because we’re getting the Red Light Special. When they finally get out to the ring, where there’s still a bunch of red light, there’s also the “help the hungry” part of the Fight for the Fallen gimmick. That has some interesting implications.
33. Hardy and allies set up in the ring, completely oblivious to the shenanigan squad still being there, I guess. Jeff (Hardy) hits a Swanton on Jeff (Jarrett) through a table, but Lethal makes the save. Ethan Page actually gets to almost do a thing, but a bunch of low blows and Sonjay dressed in a ridiculous red jacket and cowboy hat prevent that from happening.
34. That does sound like Terry Funk’s old Chainsaw Charlie entrance, and someone dressed as Leatherface chases Karen off. They didn’t chase off Satnam with the deadly weapon though, nor did they get Jay with the hammer. That seems like poor execution. Pun intended. Jarrett wins this chaotic mess. I don’t even know what to say about it, but I’m sure they got a decent check out of it to give to the Maui Food Bank. Taz summarizes it perfectly: “that was something.” It sure was.
35. Gee, I wonder who will win. Britt Baker, the second original to balance out the two Outcasts, or the returning Bunny. I think she might’ve fit in the previous match a little better. I mean, chainsaws are one thing, but once you bring out the head tilt, it’s all over.
36. Seriously though, I’m really glad she’s back. Everything I’ve seen of her, she seems so delightful. And her purple makeup look is on point, fitting thematically within the evening’s various activities. They shake hands before a shoving match ensues. They wore very similar color schemes with their outfits.
37. They talk about how demented the Bunny is, right after she screamed in the camera and licked Britt. That’s so demented, I expect her to kidnap Honey Whitlock and film them teaming up with the Butcher and the Blade preaching the end of bad cinema all over Nashville for Rampage. Demented forever, baybay.
38. Back from the break into the “which one of us is going to get booed in a match in London with Saraya and Toni Storm involved?” portion of the evening. I wonder if Collision will have a similar hectic pace? It seems like they’d be distinct, as they have from Dynamite in a visual and content sense, but the big show (wellllllllll) approaches, so who knows? I really like Collision, I just can never get home in time to watch it live.
39. Britt wins, because of course she does. Regardless of crowd dynamic, that’ll be a hell of a match. This All In card went from great to absolutely ridiculous in the span of one episode of Dynamite. And they gotta follow it up in a week. So far, the TNT title match and Miro/Hobbs both look good, but some magnitude will definitely need to be added.
40. Recap of Billy Gunn walking out and the Acclaimed mourning his dea… retirement. The way they’ve talked about it though… Significantly fewer recaps in this show, thank you for that.
41. The Acclaimed now have their match, and… to put it nicely, not Max’s best work.
42. The lights go out suddenly, and I can only assume it’s dark Billy Gunn and the House of Black.
43. It is the House of Black but without the necessary gothic Ass addition. You cannot corrupt what has already been Assed. Brody’s outfit is super sharp though.
44. This is a mauling, though I’m not sure why. “We retired your friend, how dare you lose to us and try to move on from it?!” We’ve got more blood on a night of many kinds of blood, and Julia takes Billy’s boots. I guess that is one way to turn their reaction from overwhelmingly over faces to dastardly heels. That or attacking MJF, but that would be Callis-levels of nuclear heat. This also felt rushed, but they’ve had some long segments tonight.
45. In something that totally happens for the first time all evening, the Juniors Ass come out and the Young Bucks immediately jump them, getting their pose in the Sheamus spotlight with the cowboy synthwave music playing. Nobody has time for entrances tonight, this show is Gilmore Girls “write double the length of a normal teleplay and just speak really fast” levels of packing things in.
46. My stream went super wonky coming back from the commercial, seemed like we came back, then the stream and video went weird for a few seconds, and then they restarted bringing it back in. Not sure what happened there. It even took the show and browser out of full screen with no prompting. That was an interesting hiccup.
47. This match is exactly what you’d expect it to be, though it needs to be said how much the Gunns have improved and look like they belong in this spot with one of the best teams out there. Bullet Club Gold turned out to be a great fit for them. They hit a 3:10 to Yuma and the commentators say “wow, they could win this thing!” That’s adorable.
48. There’s a Fameasser, but Is it “taking a page out of Billy Gunn’s book” when that’s literally their father?
49. The Bucks must’ve gotten word that the show was ending and they needed to pull a quick one. The match ends, and in another first for the evening, someone is attacked right after their match ends. Ohai Bullet Club Gold, what’s new with you? Jay White and Juice set up for some mean things to happen, and there’s the neon synthwave save of the hour.
50. FTR hit the ring from behind and use some chairs to give Juice the chance to make a Rock-at-WM14-like sell. And in yet another instance of “totally happened for the first time tonight” FTR do the kneel “I’m gonna attack you when you turn around” stance, but then nah, but we coulda though. The show ends 3.5 seconds later.
51. This show was chaotic as hell, and not just the death match. A lot of the things that happened would’ve been better if there weren’t multiple instances of the same trope with different people filling them a significant number of times, but they’re going all out (no Chicago) for All In, so it’s to be expected. It felt rushed, but it was entertaining. It had two episodes of Dynamite pushed into a blender with a few too many copy/paste jobs thrown in, but it did well in building for All In. Rampage, Collision, and a week of go-home shows before we finally get there, so let’s see what happens. I have no doubt All In itself will be great, but I hope we don’t have another show with this much jammed into it before then.
Just when I try to think “maybe I’ll give it to someone other than MJF/Adam Cole, we have inflatable crocodiles, Outback steakhouse, Kangaroo Kicks, kiddy pools, and that’s before they even got to the live segment. HAM of the Year is over, these two win.
1/4/23 – The Gunns
1/11/23 – Daddy Magic
1/13/23 – Danhausen
1/18/23 – Sonjay Dutt
1/20/23 – Stokely Hathaway
1/25/23 – Tony Schiavone
1/27/23 – Danhausen
2/1/23 – Jade Cargill
2/3/23 – Ethan Page
2/8/23 – MJF
2/10/23 – STIIIIIIING
2/15/23 – Ruby Soho
2/17/23 – Dustin Rhodes
2/22/23 – Chris Jericho
2/24/23 – Matt Hardy
3/1/23 – Big Bill
3/3/23 – Jungle Boy
3/5/23 – MJF
3/8/23 – Anthony Bowens
3/10/23 – Riho
3/15/23 – MJF/Darby Allin/Jungle Boy/Sammy Guevara
3/22/23 – STIIIIIING
3/29/23 – Juice Robinson
3/31/23 – Eddie Kingston
4/5/23 – MJF
4/7/23 – Darby Allin/Julia Hart
4/12/23 – STIIIIIIIIING
4/14/23 – 2.0/Biff Hager
4/19/23 – Sammy Guevara
4/26/23 – MJF
5/3/23 – Triple J/Mark Briscoe
5/5/23 – The Firm Deletion – All of it
5/10/23 – Chuck Taylor and Trent Baretta
5/17/23 – Toni Storm
5/24/23 – Jay White
5/28/23 – Darby Allin
5/31/23 – Juice Robinson
6/7/23 – MJF
6/9/23 – Ethan Page
6/14/23 – The cardboard cutout of Saraya
6/17/23 – CM Punk
6/21/23 – Adam Cole/MJF
6/23/23 – Anthony Bowens
6/24/23 – Powerhouse Hobbs
6/25/23 – Will Ospreay
6/28/23 – Keith Lee
7/1/23 – Andrade
7/5/23 – Adam Cole/MJF
7/7/23 – Daniel Garcia
7/8/23 – Samoa Joe
7/12/23 – Jack Perry
7/17/23 – Ricky Starks
7/19/23 – MJF and Adam Cole
7/22/23 – Ricky Starks
7/26/23 – Jeff Hardy
7/31/23 – Samoa Joe
8/2/23 – Swerve
8/4/23 – Kris Statlander
8/5/23 – Christian Cage
8/9/23 – MJF and Adam Cole
8/11/23 – Orange Cassidy
8/12/23 – Ricky Starks
8/16/23 – MJF and Adam Cole