IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #450
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Thoughts on AEW: Dynamite – September 27th, 2023
Thanks to the Wallop Wroundup podcast for having me on to discuss All In and All Out recently. Find them on your preferred podcast app. I was also on the Forbidden Door episode a few months back. Feel free to use my email linked above if you have a podcast/show and would like me to come on as a guest. I’m almost always down to talk wrestling with people.
1. There have been several breaks since 2011, but I still think it’s pretty neat to reach a milestone like 450 columns. Anyway, last Dynamite before WrestleDream, and though I’ll be in Seattle in two weeks, I unfortunately couldn’t make it for this upcoming show, so I’ll be reviewing it with a special guest and longtime friend this weekend as a lovely distraction.
2. It’s Wednesday night, etc. The International championship and its unexpected titleholder keeps on the tradition of opening match bangers on Dynamite, as Rey Fenix will be facing… ::sigh:: Jeff Jarrett, who has somehow gotten yet another title shot. I don’t even dislike Jarrett, but the Triple J stable just gets an endless plethora of undeserved title shots.
3. The shenanigans are strong and early in this one, including some back-scratchies. That’s always nice when there’s an itch you can’t reach.
4. More shenanigans, which Aubrey just watches with little reaction whatsoever, which is surprising given her history with Triple J. Maybe it’s because of how much air that spin kick got. At least Fenix brought someone to ringside with him, though it’s still four to one in that regard. Someday, faces will learn, I’m sure of it.
5. Endless title shots or not, the crowd is hot and chanting against Jarrett hard, so that’s good to see. Denver doesn’t get the credit they deserve as a good wrestling crowd.
6. Aubrey finally tells Karen to RESPECT HER AUTHORITAH! And the Triple J carny gang somehow seem completely baffled and surprised by this, as if they haven’t watched the show in the last year either.
7. This match has enough shenanigans for the whole show with plenty to spare! Somehow they haven’t been ejected from ringside, but as Don Callis proved back at Forbidden Door, that doesn’t actually matter.
8. This match ends in… for fuck’s sake… Another JBLdamned surprise roll-up. They’ve gone beyond overusing this finish, it’s not even fun to call it the Simon Miller Special anymore.
9. They recap Adam Cole’s injury. Jumping off stages has led to bad luck for multiple title holders in recent history, and this is no exception. However, it means we’re getting another MJF/Cole segment, so that’s good news.
10. This is the glorious HAM I’ve been missing from these two in recent weeks. I’m doing my best to not geek over the lighthouse in the background.
11. MJF, rightfully, is not thrilled about Adam Cole paying attention to Roderick Strong. They almost set it up as the “take them out on a boat” cliche, but Cole is just as aware of it as MJF is obviously setting up for it. They finally get something on their line and it’s… Captain Insano on an inflatable duck. That’s gonna be tough to top for the HAM. And here I thought Uncle Phil popped that thing back in the day, yet here we are. Not their best segment, but it advanced the story and got the random pop, so it worked.
12. Meanwhile, Don Callis and Konosuke Takeshita are hunting Kota Ibushi in Tokyo. Are we gonna see them shoot pumpkins with Ibushi’s face on it? Damn, that’s a throwback I randomly remember. 1999 Smackdown was weird.
13. The hardest-working person in AEW, Renee, brings out Callis and Takeshita in all their brown-note glory. They went from hunting in Tokyo to recapping the Sammy Guevara turn, so this angle is taking up progressively more of the card. Getting that much heat though, it’s hard to blame them.
14. Now that Sammy and his fall calendar shirt are out to increase the heat even higher, we’re back to the previous hunting segment. Oooh, that dastardly Callis and his… umbrella. They’re going Swerve style and attacking people in their home wrestling rings though, so it’s good to see ideas influencing others.
15. Ibushi turns his back on someone twice, and ends up getting taken out by a damn kettle bell. That’s intense. By this logic though, Konosuke should be like “my bad” in two weeks and Ibushi will be perfectly fine with it. Hey, Darby tried to make it make sense with AR Fox, so why not?
16. Sammy gets the mic and proclaims Jericho the villain, which… yeah. Especially with those segments recently, the only reason he’s not is because he’s associated with Callis. That’s how magical that heat magnet really is.
17. It’s a go-home show, you know what that means! Copious amounts of recaps! This time we get the Danielson/Starks ending, and that leads to Wheeler Yuta confronting him turning on a dime after some totally genuine comments. Yuta talks about what he doesn’t have the ability to do, after Starks has gotten up from it twice in seriously intense confrontations, then tries to be badass so hard by saying “yeah, walk away.” That happened.
18. Next, a three-way match for a shot at the International title, and more Prince Nana on our TV. We’ve got Nick Jackson, Brian Cage, and Claudio Castagnoli. For the latter two, might as well move from losing one title to trying to get another.
19. They just noped Nick the fuck out of the ring just so they can have the big power guy staredown. Nick is down for quite a while after members of the future Meat division slug it out for a bit, but he rectifies that once he gets back. They say it’s Nick Jackson’s fourth singles match, but I don’t think this is a singles match. He’s wrestling not as part of a tag team, yes, I thought a singles match meant 1v1 with no stipulation. Eh, whatever, I get what they’re trying to say, if nothing else. It’s an entire night of people in tag teams doing stuff on their own, as the other Jackson, Rey, Penta, and one of the Gunns are also in this scenario.
20. It’s nice to see Claudio do the Giant Swing knowing he won’t get punished for it getting a pop. What a strange caveat to have to make.
21. This is a fun little match that came out of nowhere. I suppose it would make the most sense if Claudio got the win, as a chance to get “revenge” for what happened to Mox, but out of nowhere, we get Nick Jackson getting the win. Poor Brian Cage gets to take yet another fall. Maybe Swerve shouldn’t have a stable.
22. The Righteous have another segment that feels like it really, really wants to be the Wyatt Family but with the brightness setting turned the other way. It’s different than anything else on the show though, so it stands out.
23. Internet being awful yet again.
24. Now here comes MJF and Adam Cole, and Cole’s leg is wrapped up to his knee. They’re working around it really well for all the entrance spots, it’s really adorable. What terrible timing for Cole too, what a run they’ve been on since his return.
25. Does this mean they’re gonna start a counter-stable called Ankle Health?
26. His ankle “exploded.” Damn, that’s after a messed-up foot from a stage dive by another champion not too long ago. Obviously they won’t be defending the tag titles like this, and I doubt the interim champion is still a thing. AC starts saying they’re going to relinquish the titles to the dismay of everyone, including MJF. They each try to take the blame for it, but Max insists that the titles will still be there. MJF is gonna defend the titles himself, what a hero.
27. AAAAAAAAADAMMMMMMMMM! Roddy gets wheeled out in a hospital gown, claiming it’s an emergency and he needs him. The Gaslighting Olympics continue, though MJF keeps doing his best to be a really good friend. Such good character work on MJF’s part. It’s either coming at a terrible fall at the worst possible time, or someone turns on him and breaks his heart. Either way, I don’t think MJF’s getting booed no matter what he does. This is goofy and ridiculous and I love every second of it.
28. MJF gets left on his own, and someone’s senses must’ve been tingling, because we can’t have someone saying a thing without an interruption. BulletClub Gold, led by Cardblade, come out to cause some mischief, but Jay White sends the rest to the back. That’s a risky move, not having Cardblade at ringside. Sometimes you need that level of security, you never know.
29. A Jay White and MJF promo-off as the second half of this segment was some additional HAM I didn’t know we needed, yet here we are. MJF can literally get people chanting anything, including this time, “pubic hair.” What a time to be a wrestling fan.
30. The internet sucks again. MJF compares himself to filet mignon and Jay to tofu. Cue the tofu chant. I continue to be in awe of this ability to work a crowd no matter how ridiculous what he says is. Has anything been this ridiculous since the Rock got people to chant “roody poo?”
31. Jay White starts to respond, saying he wanted his own MJF experience, but the crowd drowns him out with tofu. What even is wrestling right now? I love it.
32. Sign in the crowd: “Tom Segura was right.” Um… about what? The First 48?
33. Jay brings a whole new energy to this segment, and he’s really, really good. He starts even getting some cheers for how good he is, and he then realizes he needs to turn that around. That was a great recap of his resume too, for those who don’t know what he’s done outside of hang out with Juice and be the second best Jay White in his stable.
34. JR is backstage, recapping the Darby/Christian feud. Christian still denies he hasn’t been champion the whole time. Christian isn’t limiting himself to dead fathers anymore, now he’s going after uncles. But Darby isn’t fazed by it this time because he has the hometown advantage, and not in a place where he’ll be humiliated for that. He continues macking on Nick Wayne’s mom from afar. Suddenly we get an awkward hard cut, and a camera moving around with pointless zooms. This is great stuff, the two of them yelling at each other, and JR being like “could you not spit on me please?”
35. Hook sure made a new friend pretty easily. I guess he could call Danhausen for a reference this time. Orange Cassidy will have what I believe is his first match since losing the title, evidenced by significantly fewer bandages since his recovery began. He’s facing Austin Gunn (who flips off a child with noise-canceling headphones on his way to the ring, Matt Jackson, and Penta. This match is happening for… reasons, I don’t know.
36. This match starts really quickly, and multiple roll-ups are intended because… why not? It ends more matches than anything else these days, there must be something to it. Ah, the teams are involved in a tag match on Sunday, that makes sense. I don’t know if they’d announced that before, but I hadn’t caught it.
37. We end up with all of them trying to out-signature taunt each other, and it’s silly and ridiculous and I love it. Not to be outdone, they refer to the fan dressed as Great Muta as if it’s really him during the commercial. Commercial break commentary is the gift that keeps on giving.
38. We had a signature taunt-off earlier in the match, and now we have a snap suplex contest. This is so much fun. I didn’t know why we were even getting this match tonight, but I’m so glad we are. This crowd loves themselves some Penta. He’s getting the chant even when he’s not involved in the immediate action.
39. Four-way match at Wrestledream, three sets of brothers, and also a guy who was really tired and saw another guy with a title and was like “hey” like a copy-pasta’d dating site intro.
40. The crowd is really into this match, but to be fair, they’ve been into literally everything tonight. It has enhanced what would’ve been a good show anyway. They get back, and now it’s a superkick-off. Three-on-one, two-to-one, neutral, draw. Suddenly, Orange Punch, and OC is back in the win column with not-a-rollup. That was an incredible amount of fun. Nick comes out to check on Matt, and then Hook is there for a hug while the other two partners start to come out before commercial.
41. WrestleDream is shaping up to be a random-ass show at points, but also looks like it might be one of those classic long PPVs. I’m sure it’ll be a blast, but I can’t even remember all the matches that are booked off the top of my head.
42. Julia Hart again gets the one women’s spot to do entrance theme lip sync. The House of Black hasn’t been around much lately outside of her and Brody standing ominously by. She’s facing the always wonderful Willow, who has face protection due to the Mist. I wonder if someone’s getting corrupted. Hasn’t happened to anyone since Julia, so I’m very curious. I think Skye is the more likely corrupted, but it’d be interesting to see either way.
43. This match is very grunty and yelly. Willow is selling the eye and wrestling meaner and more intensely than usual. Way to work the gimmick, love it.
44. Classic wrestling cliche #435, “X may not even make it to (PPV)!”
45. There’s a distraction on the outside. Gee, are we about to go into PiP? We sure are!
46. A double chant transpires, Julia having some heavy support. Willow is pretty popular with the fans, but she needs to win consistently to maintain it, and that hasn’t happened.
47. Willow gets a POOOOOOOOOOUNCE, but dodges a cannonball in order to win with a very pretty moonsault. No surprise, one has a PPV match on Sunday and the other doesn’t. Still fun though. Julia again reminds us that she is, in fact, evil. Stat finally makes the save instead of getting Skye hurt again. Stat tries to chase her but she hides behind Brody. Stat doesn’t back down though, right on. Might as well use the time we got, since the show will explode if there’s multiple segments.
48. The contract signing is main-eventing? Negative, Prince Nana doing the Swerve dance is the main event, the contract signing is merely incidental. And… Swerve stops him from doing it. Damn you, Swerve, how dare?
49. Renee, never a dull moment, has taken over for Tony doing the in-ring stuff too, which is perfectly fine. Swerve is so over, I love it. He desperately needs this win. There is someone between Renee and Hangman in view who looks like they’d rather be anywhere else.
50. Hangman says he felt like there was a black cloud for a year and a half, despite the big wins and storylines he had. Hmm, I wonder what that could be. Totally subtle metaphors going on here. Hangman says he’ll get the best of Hangman, which makes Swerve ridic-laugh. But then he also goes for the local sports team dig. To be fair though, that one was ripe for the picking, considering the location and who their QB is.
51. “It rains an awful lot in Seattle.” Great tie-in back to what Hangman says. Hangman calls him out for wanting the spot, and that gets a SMACK. Swerve signs, but Hangman stabs him with a pen, causing security to spill in. That’s how it ends. Great promos, but oddly placed in the show.
52. Wait, we’re not done. Jay White got jumped by… Retribution? Or MJF and somebody? Maybe?
53. This was much better than recent go-home shows. That’s not a high bar though. I really enjoyed it, and they made a lot of these matches really fun. I’m looking forward to WrestleDream, despite some of the really random matches thrown on the card. See you then.
Paul Wight in an inflatable duckie.
1/4/23 – The Gunns
1/11/23 – Daddy Magic
1/13/23 – Danhausen
1/18/23 – Sonjay Dutt
1/20/23 – Stokely Hathaway
1/25/23 – Tony Schiavone
1/27/23 – Danhausen
2/1/23 – Jade Cargill
2/3/23 – Ethan Page
2/8/23 – MJF
2/10/23 – STIIIIIIING
2/15/23 – Ruby Soho
2/17/23 – Dustin Rhodes
2/22/23 – Chris Jericho
2/24/23 – Matt Hardy
3/1/23 – Big Bill
3/3/23 – Jungle Boy
3/5/23 – MJF
3/8/23 – Anthony Bowens
3/10/23 – Riho
3/15/23 – MJF/Darby Allin/Jungle Boy/Sammy Guevara
3/22/23 – STIIIIIING
3/29/23 – Juice Robinson
3/31/23 – Eddie Kingston
4/5/23 – MJF
4/7/23 – Darby Allin/Julia Hart
4/12/23 – STIIIIIIIIING
4/14/23 – 2.0/Biff Hager
4/19/23 – Sammy Guevara
4/26/23 – MJF
5/3/23 – Triple J/Mark Briscoe
5/5/23 – The Firm Deletion – All of it
5/10/23 – Chuck Taylor and Trent Baretta
5/17/23 – Toni Storm
5/24/23 – Jay White
5/28/23 – Darby Allin
5/31/23 – Juice Robinson
6/7/23 – MJF
6/9/23 – Ethan Page
6/14/23 – The cardboard cutout of Saraya
6/17/23 – CM Punk
6/21/23 – Adam Cole/MJF
6/23/23 – Anthony Bowens
6/24/23 – Powerhouse Hobbs
6/25/23 – Will Ospreay
6/28/23 – Keith Lee
7/1/23 – Andrade
7/5/23 – Adam Cole/MJF
7/7/23 – Daniel Garcia
7/8/23 – Samoa Joe
7/12/23 – Jack Perry
7/17/23 – Ricky Starks
7/19/23 – MJF and Adam Cole
7/22/23 – Ricky Starks
7/26/23 – Jeff Hardy
7/31/23 – Samoa Joe
8/2/23 – Swerve
8/4/23 – Kris Statlander
8/5/23 – Christian Cage
8/9/23 – MJF and Adam Cole
8/11/23 – Orange Cassidy
8/12/23 – Ricky Starks
8/16/23 – MJF and Adam Cole
8/18/23 – Ruby Soho
8/19/23 – Toni Storm
8/23/23 – Billy Gunn
8/25/23 – Kris Statlander
8/26/23 – Eddie Kingston
8/27/23 – Nigel McGuinness
8/31/23 – Toni Storm
9/1/23 – Claudio Castagnoli
9/3/23 – Samoa Joe
9/6/23 – Roderick Strong
9/9/23 – Cardblade
9/13/23 – MJF
9/16/23 – Prince Nana
9/20/23 – MJF/Adam Cole
9/27/23 – Paul Wight