IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #454
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Thoughts on AEW: Dynamite – October 25th, 2023
1. Good to be back after a week off. I was helping my partner recover from surgery, so writing about wrestling was not my top priority. Thank you for the emails some of y’all have been sending lately, I’ve appreciated them. That’s the best way to interact with me, as I’m not very online and don’t have social media anymore. Now, we have a cold open full of HAM. MJF getting Adam Cole on the phone, Neck Strong coming to interrupt, and MJF pulling a McMahonism Era by shoving off of someone in a wheelchair. MJF goes full HAM before the Devil mask pulls a brief sabotage. That happened.
2. Philly is hot tonight. In a different time, I could’ve caught the train to the arena from my alma mater to go see this. I only got to be a part of a Philly crowd once, 2006, but it was worth it. I got the tickets from someone on LiveJournal, because that doesn’t date me at all whatsoever.
3. I didn’t understand audio-only pyro when Ryback was doing it, and I don’t understand it now when the JuiceBlade Boys are doing it either.
4. MJF sets off to defend the Dynamite diamond ring from the TJ Maxx Gremlin, so we’ll only have to wonder if Toni fed him after midnight. He starts the match full of fire, which is a new look for him to say the least. Not to say he’s ever been Orange Cassidy levels of apathetic, but that looked like… effort. Of course he always gives effort but not like that, and not that obviously. He’s loving this crowd too.
5. Someone in the front row has a sign that says “MJF is my dad.” Either that’s the biggest five-year-old I’ve ever seen, or I have questions.
6. We’re eight minutes into a Dynamite, and we’ve already got blood. Welcome to Philly, where the street lights are passive suggestions, the Schuylkill Pike makes you retrospectively hate the invention of the automobile, and they grease the lightpoles with crisco so the football fans won’t climb them, but they do anyway. And after six-plus years in the Midwest, I miss it on multiple levels.
7. Jay White comes out to acknowledge his more dangerous cardboardian counterpart as well as to add more sass to commentary.
8. MJF gets caught utilizing the Burberry scarf as a weapon, and Juice does HAM things and literally holds it up in front of the ref. Bryce’s reaction is basically, “so?” Eight seconds later, he yells at the jabronis at ringside because consistency.
9. The Kangaroo Kick gets another huge pop, and MJF starts to go for a dive, but holy shit, maybe I shouldn’t bounce against the ropes where these two interfering interferers do an interfere which they haven’t done for a whole four minutes.
10. MJF summons his inner Minoru Suzuki, making Juice hit him, then he flips all over the place for the fun of it, and finishes with an eyepoke. That was quite a sequence. MJF’s fire is cut off by Juice spraying some gloop because Gremlins gonna Gremlin. If Malakai and Julia’s mist causes gothic corruption, what does Juice mist do?
11. Jay is calling this match like it’s the main event of WrestleMania 17 and he hasn’t caught up with the turn yet.
12. Both MJF and Juice get their respective crotch rings out, but someone’s a little more experienced than the other, leading to MJF getting the win and keeping his ring for another year. He’s attacked immediately after the match. Neck Strong and the giraffe come out to make the save, and they fail. It’s almost like doing this after your plan aired on television wasn’t a great idea or something.
13. There’s another save with a siren though, as the Acclaimed run out to a huge pop. Juice proceeds to trip off the stage, and he’s ridiculous enough that I don’t know if he meant to do that or not. Jay takes the mic at the top of the stage to tell him to forget about the 877 other contenders for his title and focus on the one who stole the belt. I don’t know though, he talks about Max having grubby little hands, but that doesn’t hold much weight when Juice Robinson is behind you.
14. Not to be outdone, the Juniors Ass challenge for the ROH tag titles. Another double duty night for him? Sure will be, but he also calls out the whole group for next week while giving the proper respect to Cardblade.
15. Because more needs to happen in this opening segment, Roderick says they’re gonna pick those three as his tag partners. It goes about as well as expected. Then Caster manages to ask a question without making some kind of weird Freudian Slip, but MJF won’t tag with him. Never mind, he takes a full rejection with a Dumb and Dumber reference. I think that’s the first time MJF has been booed in months, turning down the Acclaimed like that. Still being completely oblivious, Caster calls for a scissor. MJF turns him down, and the segment is finally over, right?
16. Nope, ohai Kenny Omega. Just the two facing each other gets a “holy shit” chant. He also wants the belt for a chance to defend his streak. MJF accepts a title match for Collision, damn! So much has happened in the first half hour of this show. They both do their catch phrases before Kenny throws the “three days, bitch.” back in his face. Now is this segment finally over?
17. It is. What an opening to Dynamite! That was like 1999 Smackdown with the amount they packed in there. How much of the roster is involved in this broad storyline at this point?
18. We come back with Wardlow, who has more of a legit claim to a shot at MJF than anyone, in my opinion. But the biggest question is, why the hell did he wait so long? It’s not like they both weren’t around at the same time. He also runs the Rocky steps because Philly.
19. The Dark Order doesn’t get an entrance, so I’m sure they have a chance against Taz’s son and RVD in Philly. Hook’s hair has gotten longer, thus rendering the bedhead effect a bit overweighted by waaaaaaaaaave.
20. I learned about RVD’s ECW career in retrospect, because I didn’t even know about ECW until the Invasion, but damn does hearing Pantera’s “Walk” in Philly have a glorious vibe.
21. They call John Silver “the Meat Man.” The Meat Division needs to happen.
22. Silver gets flipped into a really awkward landing. There’s the phrase/metaphor of “breaking his ankles” and then there’s landings like that where I wonder if it actually happened. They get clotheslined out of the ring, the camera isn’t on them at all, and there’s a lot of stalling. I really hope it’s just ring psychology.
23. RVD hitting his moves mostly crisp, though his leg catches on the rope for the Rolling Thunder. Taz is getting nostalgic about eating all those stiff boots. I don’t imagine that was a great deal of fun, considering what Jericho wrote about it, but you never can tell.
24. This match is chaos, but it ends in the way we expected, Redrum and a submission win. This match only existed to pop the crowd, and it was worth every second of it.
25. Toni Storm has Silent Film’d her way into a Full Gear title shot. Stranger things have happened, I guess. The fact that they got RJ City in these silent films just makes it even HAMmier.
26. Luther is the butler, so Toni decides to call him Luther. Luther gives her a clementine. I hope it’s freshly squeezed. Otherwise that .3 ounces of juice will go to waste.
27. We come back what seems to be a bit early, but Tony Schiavone is in the ring, so I imagine a gift is on the way. I’m quite curious to see what this will be. Sting comes out with Darby, who has a sling. Gosh, of all the people possibly working with an injury, I can’t imagine Darby being one who might’ve hurt himself somehow. He’s normally so careful and measured.
28. Sting gives Darby credit for helping him get that far, and Darby’s trying not to get choked up. It’s so sweet. He gets a few whoas for saying that Darby’s the best tag partner he’s ever had, and that covers quite a bit of ground.
29. Schiavone puts over what Sting meant to TBS as well, and it’s so appropriate that he’s the one in the ring passing along the message and sentiments. What’s the gift? I’ll be damned, Also Sprach Zarathustra. They brought Ric Flair in (please not for another final match, I’m begging you.) 35 years ago, Flair and Sting made wrestling on TBS what it was, and there they both are.
30. Flair says he wants to ride the wagon with him before turning up some classic Flair HAM. I hope that means he’ll be in his corner and not…
31. Uh oh, is someone coming out to check on their fathers? Christian comes out being Christian, and to say he’s not holding back is the understatement of the decade. It wouldn’t be a Christian promo without bashing the local sports team, though it’s particularly fresh at this moment.
32. Ric Flair’s suit deserves its own honorary HAM, just saying.
33. Christian throws more insults and shade, but the demands for music will not be met. Sting accepts the challenge for a six-man tag at Full Gear to tag with Darby and someone yet to be named. Well, either a legit or incredibly worked sneeze precedes it. Oh dear, I think somewhere out there, Vince felt a disturbance in the force.
34. We come back with Renee and Chris Jericho, who is lamenting how badly he got destroyed by half of the MeatSterpiece. He reflects on his career and wonders if he still has what it takes, or if he’s got to get his confidence back. This might hold more weight if not placed directly after what we just saw, but fine. He says that Callis has a lot of family, but he also has friends. This is news, didn’t he alienate all of them? One of them is even bigger than Hobbs? Are we going to witness the questionably-awaited return of JeriShow?
35. The Hardys and Zay come out with so, so much red. Haven’t heard the Kansas theme in a while. There was pyro during this entrance before, right? Oh, there it goes. Burn on the name plate though, damn!
36. We’ve had Adam Copeland back for several weeks and haven’t seen them cross paths with the Hardys yet? Not even for a brief nod and acknowledgement? I guess they’re saving that, but still.
37. It makes sense that the Hardys are getting the shot at the Trios titles, given how much success they’ve had recently in their tag matches. Zay screams like Keith Lee just launched him all over again. Some things you just don’t forget.
38. Matt Hardy and Zay do the Elite pose. Sort of. Matt Hardy looks incredibly uncomfortable, but it happened nonetheless.
39. I’m glad the Hookhausen pack is out, but given that there’s still no new story modes in which to play them, I don’t think I’ll be checking it out anytime soon.
40. Zay kips up with a squeak, and one of those two things hurt his back. Naturally the thing to do there is launch yourself over the top rope because things make sense. Jeff hits the Swanton and goes for the pin while the other two guard against interference with the count… poorly. The crowd is loving the match, so I guess that’s what matters most.
41. Gee, Hangman is hanging outside the ropes while other things go on, I wonder what will happen. Oh shit, Zay walked right into a Buckshot Lariat, who could see that coming? It was fine. Imagine what having this ROH title match could’ve done for the ROH show though.
42. Suddenly, Prince Nana is pulling one of his classic break-ins with Swerve. Hangman runs off, as if he’s gonna get to Virginia right now. Hopefully one of them won’t get a bloody shirt they’ll be carrying around for a month.
43. Swerve rips up a child’s painting, in case you weren’t aware he was a heel. Suddenly, it goes Blair Witch camera, and it gets set up in a crib. Damn, this got dark quickly. He leaves a free t-shirt as an omen of his debt because that’s a thing. Is he trying to Nick Wayne the kid many years in advance or something? This is wrestling, stranger things have happened. Nana comes in and says they have to go, which… Yeah, I imagine breaking and entering would get someone’s attention in Aaron’s Creek, Virginia.
44. We come back with Adam Copeland mid-interview, but it’s an AEW interview, so of course it’s going to get interrupted. Darby and Sting approach him. And to further enforce the point, Sting interrupts the interruption as he drops some wisdom about guys like Christian. He needs to just open his eyes about the guy who told us all to just close your eyes. Sometimes the practical advice is what you need.
45. I miss the Rancid opening. This theme just isn’t the same.
46. The designated women’s match of the show will see something familiar, Ruby Soho losing a title match. There’s no way Shida is losing it again already. The sign near the front gets a full pan across. That’s the way to get on television. I like it better than the other one at ringside, which is… Yeah, it is all right.
47. We’ve got a rolling series of crucifix pin attempts, because it ends more matches in this division than anything else, so that many of them should increase the odds of success.
48. I can’t see these matches without hearing Alex Pawlowski as Linder narrating them.
49. Multiple more roll-up attempts fail, and the match ends with an actual move, so that’s a plus.
50. Not for the first time tonight, a theme immediately hits after a match result, and Toni Storm is out to be extra, Luther standing by with an extra clementine I presume.
51. Renee is backstage with MJF, and here’s a surprise, this one also gets interrupted in about three words. Samoa Joe offers to be his friend in exchange for a title match. All right then. Max was all too eager to shake his hand, though I suppose even he is wise enough to not do the opposite of what Samoa Joe in his face was telling him to do. Is MJF going to team with three of his other top contenders for the title? Worked with Adam Cole, why not triplify the effect? Throw Wardlow and Omega in there too? It’s different, I’ll give it that.
52. Now it’s time for the most random, non-chalant dropping of a huge appearance I’ve seen in some time. Orange Cassidy gets all antsy to prove something to Jon Moxley on Collision, and just so casually mentions that he’ll be teaming with freaking Okada on Wednesday night. Not only a random Dynamite appearance, but putting Okada back in the ring with Danielson again too. I’m sure that will play into things.
53. That coin drop is one of the most ominous opening theme sounds you could ask for. Of course this is when the feed starts to freeze.
54. Claudio comes out with a bit of a limp, I hope he’s all right.
55. We’re at quarter till. They announced the show will go as long as it takes, but I’m surprised to see this just getting started now.
56. Look at Orange Cassidy inviting Okada out of the ring so he can start. The character evolution he’s been on lately, I don’t know where it’s going, but it’s going somewhere.
57. Danielson does not approve of Orange’s offbeat shenanigans. I think he’s more offended by them than Mox was.
58. World’s End is announced for December 30th. The monthly PPV model seems to be in full swing. I’m not sure how I feel about it.
59. Claudio calls for the Rainmaker, and the crowd comes alive for it. They’re sure to emphasize that Okada wants Danielson, and he should. Give a guy a bionic arm and he forgets all about the people who made him famous along the way.
60. What an interesting version of the cut-off move by OC, countering the vaulting Punch in the Fuck with a DDT. This leads to a hot tag to get Okada and Danielson in the ring at the same time. That alone gets a “holy shit!” chant as they do the slow walk and face…. off.
61. “Those chops are personal.” Hey, Personal Chops, that’s a great name for a band. Even better than Mystik Spiral.
62. Abadon is in a match? I’ll be damned, that’s been a while! Good to see them back on the show, just in time for spooky season!
63, The Apathetic Kicks become not so apathetic, and the amazing counters between OC and Claudio continue. Not to be outdone, Claudio counters the Orange Punch into the Big Swing.
64. The Rainmaker gets a zoom out, and then you gotta give the people what they want. Danielson gets the Rainmaker, and I think Danielson is hurt again. Oh dear.
65. Orange gets pinned by the vaulting Punch in the Fuck. Okay then. The BCC is out, the Best Friends are out, and Okada looks like he’s talking some mad shit. Even Hook is out there. Claudio is getting a shot at the International title next week, which makes sense.
66. That was awkward, a lot of standing around. Not sure what to make of it.
67. This show started off so strong, jam-packing so much into that first half hour. I don’t know if the rest could’ve matched that level of intensity as well as packing so much story into one segment, but I don’t think it was bad by any means. Just very hard to follow, really. I don’t know if they’re teasing BFFs, Hook, and OC against the BCC, even though they mostly already did that at All In, but something felt up about it.
There was HAM all over this show. I like to try to mix it up, but MJF was so HAMmy all over the show that I just can’t not give it there. Toni (and RJ City) have also become regular contenders.
10/25/23 –
2023 Semi-Finalists:
MJF/Adam Cole
Toni Storm
Juice Robinson
Roderick Strong/Neck Strong
Christian Cage
Ruby Soho