IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #459
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Thoughts on AEW: Dynamite, Live From the Target Center – November 29th, 2023
1. This will be on my phone, so do forgive any syntax errors. I haven’t been to the Target Center since TLC 2017, where I left early because the bright-ass light shining directly in my eye had given me a migraine by the time Finn/AJ was over.
2. It’s a lot easier to get downtown here than it was for four years at uni in Philadelphia. If I ever have to see the Schuylkill Pike again…
3. The trucks were lined up on an overpass on the way into downtown, visible from the interstate. Good idea.
4. I really wish I’d gone to Full Gear 2021. It was the first full PPV I’d watched and I didn’t know about it being here beforehand. In retrospect, it seems to be the standard to which everything since has struggled to measure up.
5. Of the three CC matches advertised for the evening, by far the one that jumps out is Switchblade vs. Swerve. Allegedly heel against heel, but I doubt Swerve gets a lot of boos. May not be a Seattle pop but he’s on a roll right now.
6. The Skyway, what a great invention. Well worth a Replacements ode.
7. I’m sitting with a railing right in front of me. This was well thought out.
8. The note is somber; as we all grieve the loss of Pepsi Phil. Or maybe Sierra Mist Phil, since he’s not here anymore. And by somber note, I of course mean not that.
9. This arena makes me yearn for the luxury of the nosebleeds in the Gund Arena, or whatever it’s called now.
10. I recall seeing the new neon setup the night it debuted. It looks way cooler in person. The cameras don’t do it justice. But I also love me some vaporwave, so I’m extremely biased.
11. Random “woo”s around the arena an hour before the show starts. Many things change in wrestling, but some never do.
12. I still can’t figure out what took them so long to come back here. Quake by the Lake was pre-Brawl Out.
13. I do like what I’ve seen recently, they’ve been hitting some lesser-served markets. I can’t remember the last time I saw anything coming from Erie, Pennsylvania except lake-effect snow and regret.
14. These rows were also not made for anyone over the height of 5’2.
15. They’re randomly yelling AAAAAAAAADAM now. That’s different.
16. I regret watching the Control Center preview earlier today, as they’re now going to play it through.
17. Charging for the season two pass after the disaster that has been the first? That’s certainly a decision.
18. Somebody in this section is repeatedly coughing into the open air, no hand or elbow cover-up or anything. Lovely.
19. Justin Roberts just came out, 6:40ish central. I don’t think he was at the other two I’ve been to. I’m really surprised that there hasn’t been any matches yet.
20. Oh, speaking of that, we’re getting a “bonus” match right now.
21. Manscout and Jacoby Watts “currently in the ring.” I’m guessing they’re facing the not-BTE duo?
22. Yep.
23. I’m guessing Watts is doing the Southern Preacher gimmick? Okay then. This will end well for them, I’m sure.
24. Manscout running the ropes while keeping his nose in a book gets a huge pop. That’s some bonus HAM right there.
25. I’m not sure how to watch this match without terrible, shaky, handheld camera work and quick jump cuts.
26. Hot tag to Colt Cabana, who I imagine feels a bit lighter and happier this week.
27. Not-BTE wins, fun little pre-show match.
28. The commentators have been introduced, Tony came out to say hi.
29. Holy shit, that pyro got much louder since last time.
30. Bryan Danielson is here! Looks like he’s headed over to commentary.
31. We’re opening up with Mox and Lethal for the CC, and hit me with a bit of that Ricky Vaughn! Just a little extra appreciation for Mox this week and how he’s composed himself under difficult circumstances.
32. There was almost a counter “Let’s go Lethal” chant there for a second. Points for trying.
33. Mox did a dive to the outside, and I’m guessing from his face that it hurt a bit. He’s not bleeding yet though, so it doesn’t count. It’s not officially a day yet.
34. Mox spilled into the front row, and Aubrey went over to the barricade. It looked like she was cursing out a fan from this angle, but then Mox popped back up.
35. Decent-sized crowd and they’re pretty vocal. Better than some I’ve seen on shows as of late, that’s promising.
36. Lethal works the leg for most of the match, but Mox catches him in the Bulldog choke and gets the win. Good opening match, even if Lethal didn’t have a chance in hell.
37. Oh hey, it’s that Eddie post-match promo for the third time since I’ve gotten here.
38. Danielson is yelling something at the commentary table. Fascinating silent few minutes of watching them have a discussion we can’t hear.
39. Marc Briscoe vs. Rush is next, we’re getting back to back CC matches. I can dig that.
40. Minneapolis loves everyone. Bob on the ring crew gets a continuous chant.
41. Oh good, now I can hear Danielson! Crowd chants “you’re not Bob!” Dead.
42. Danielson gets himself booed by going RAW 1000 heel “I am handsome!” on Bob and the crowd. This is amazing. HAM over, most likely.
43. He was just kidding. Bob gets another huge chant. What is happening right now?
44. Danielson ran back to the ring to play it up some more. He starts doing the “NO!” I have no idea what y’all are seeing but this is great.
45. That is quite a lot of fire, Rush.
46. Rush is back to working heel, after being post-vignette ambiguous. Those are some damn loud chops though.
47. Briscoe took a toss of the apron and missed the corner of the stairs by… not a lot.
48. Rush wins after a dropkick in the corner. That was just as fun as the first match.
49. Briscoe tosses a chair at ringside out of frustration. Rush gets a pretty nice ovation for his win. He’s no Bob, but he’s all right.
50. Stop the presses, Toni is here!
51. MJF is here. Damn, what a pop!
52. MJF talks about tuning into TNA to see something new in the early aughts. Damn, a lot of us have that in common.
53. Max puts Joe over huge for what he’s done for the business, but it’s MJF so you know a “but…” is coming.
54. Oh. A “however.” My bad.
55. The minions attack. Joe makes the save almost immediately. They bail. The screen asks if Max and Joe are bad enough dudes to rescue the president in a tag match.
56. Ohai AR Fox, things are about to go badly for you, aren’t they?
57. Wardlow is about to mess someone up more than that “311 was an inside job” sign. No matter how far away, I will powerbomb you.”
58. Wardlow wore purple tonight. That was nice of him.
59. This match lasted longer than *a* move, so that alone has to be considered a massive upset.
60. Oh wow, the Hardys are here! What a delightful surprise!
61. I don’t know if Top Flight got as big of a pop as Max, but it was damn close. After having to see Dante’s Theismann-esque injury, I’m glad he gets this moment.
62. I’m struggling to remember if I’ve ever seen Jeff in person before.
63. I was at a certain live celebration of Adam Copeland’s once upon a time, so that will be guaranteed to at least be less awkward if he’s here.
64. Hey man, sometimes ya just gotta paint your face like America mask and do your little kooky dance in the corner.
65. Dante has gotten multiple hot tags in this match, and they’ve each gotten tremendous pops.
66. Not sure if Andretti hit his head on the steps, but it didn’t look good. Top Flight get the hometown win, good for them.
67. Speaking of hometown wins, Julia is about to get one. I’m excited to see her new entrance in person.
68. Damn, they stacked Rampage, I might actually have to stay for it.
69. Julia’s quite the screamer.
70. Emi hits Julia with a diving cross body to the stairs. That looked cool as hell.
71. Julia’s moonsault is even better in person. I think Emi tried to roll out of the way. But it still hit. Either way, Julia also gets the hometown win.
72. Christian Cage is here, so some business is indeed about to be conducted.
73. Copeland isn’t coming out, so that’s just making people yell “AAAAAAAADAM” even more. Oh hey, there he is! This will not go down like it did that night in Hershey. Lita isn’t here. As far as I know.
74. Christian says he’s sorry, and the crowd chants “bullshit!” Like it’s the beginning of Forget Paris and Billy Crystal didn’t count an obvious three.
75. They’re really “what”ing? Look at the time, 2001 already.
76. Here I thought this wouldn’t get as freaky as the aforementioned celebration. I spoke too soon. Christian tells a very long, sappy story before trying the belt shot. Adam isn’t having it and kicks him right in the Patriarchs. He then returns the hearty “go fuck yourself.” Absolutely amazing promo segment.
77. The real main event is up next. Swerve and Switchblade, baybay. Well, it’s not Cardblade, so Swerve has a chance at least.
78. JBLdamn audio pyro is louder than the real pyro. Thanks Jay. I may never get the hiccups again.
79. That is a badass Full Gear 2023 shirt. Could only be better if it was the shot of him stapling himself and laughing.
80. The front row on that side is getting all kinds of sweaty action tonight! Jay makes at least three in someone’s lap vicinity.
81. Jay keeps playing into the “Swerve’s house” chants, just giving people a reason to yell it more. Brilliant.
82. 6.50 for a bottle of Coca-Cola? Speaking of “go fuck yourself…”
83. Swerve gets a HUGE near-fall with the Ghetto Stomp, and everyone here bit on it, especially since it’s 8:59. Masterful.
84. They announced five minutes remaining. That’s the only time they’ve done it, but Swerve still gets the win. Tonight we might get a time limit draw there, but nope. Swerve’s huge push continues, what a main event!
85. Jay White is biting the ring ropes. That grossed me out more than anything in the Texas Death Match.
86. I’m so happy I came to Dynamite. This was a great night of wrestling.
87. LARGE HAM: Bryan Danielson, even though I don’t think anyone watching on tv saw it.
88. Wow, the crowd is streaming out, even with that stacked Rampage card. I can’t say I blame them, I have to work in the morning too.
89. Tony just compared us all to Timecop.
90. I’m gonna stop covering it here, both for spoilers and in case I’m too tired to make it to the end.