IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #460
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Thoughts on AEW: Winter is Coming 2023
1. Samoa Joe opens up the show, thinking about how he is, in fact, Samoa Joe.
2. Oh some good ol’ corporate synergy, “championship opportunity.” That’s better than a title shot, look how many more syllables it has!
3. Joe is going HAM, implicating Hangman in the backstage attack from last week. I don’t recall if these two have ever come face-to-face before, but this should be good either way.
4. Hangman sounds like the British Bulldog after hitting Stephanie with a bin in 1999, because he, emphatically, doesn’t curr. Joe insists that maybe he does curr, but Hangman insists he doesn’t.
5. We’ve got an opening promo roll call, someone’s NAME IS BEING YELLED EMPHATICALLY! (And it’s not the one named Adam? There can be only one.)
6. Roderick Strong has become quite observant in his chronically-braced state. He points out a series of quite logical points and Hangman is still all “can’t, don’t, and won’t curr” and punches him. A Hangman/Joe feud? Yes please.
7. Someone in the front row has a sign that says ADAAAAAAAAM and then is nice enough to attribute the quote. He lost points for not using MLA, but at least he cited the source. Partial credit. I always appreciate when my wrestling signs are properly aggregated.
8. Stop the rest of the show, the Golden Jets are gonna be heard from. Everyone else can go home.
9. Riho is also facing Ruby Soho, which sounds interesting because it almost sounds like one is the nickname for the other. Though I suppose that’d be RuHo, or Roho. Close enough. Since she’s with Angelo Parker, the first O might’ve just been Pomade’d into an i. Why not.
10. I’ve heard that some people anticipate the Von Erichs being confronted by Christian, but since this is Winter is Coming, maybe he’ll confront Jon Snow instead.
11. Chants for both guys as the match goes back and forth. We’ve got a proper crowd for this show, and without even starting with a CC match. There’s no way anything else other than Mox/Swerve is main-eventing, right? Will this be our first time-limit draw? They’ve brought it up so much, it’s gotta happen sometime, right?
12. Taz emphatically says “butt-ocks,” and they play the thesaurus game a little. We then get an attempted Buckshot, but Hangman still wins with the Deadeye. I guess his neck wasn’t strong enough. He’s had some bad luck with the Adams lately.
13. Brody King comes out to be very blue, which is appropriate since he’s in the blue league. Andrade, fresh off a huge (if slightly gruesome) win against Danielson on Saturday, has someone staring daggers at him from backstage. Someone who very specifically not to put his hands on him. Hands.
14. I’m struggling to stay awake tonight, couldn’t fall asleep last night. Apologies for the lack of detail.
15. This is a phenomenal match. It evokes the recent feud between Andrade and the House of Black where there was a mask ladder match.
16. The Continental Classic has been a great idea with even better execution.
(I fell asleep, I’d been up since 5am and only slept for a few hours. Working on the rest.)
17. Andrade gets a huge win after Brody eats turnbuckle for dinner. What a week he’s having!
18. Wardlow is still talking about MJF’s end of the world, because he totally wasn’t under a mask right before his match in Minneapolis and has nothing to do with the Devil angle.
19. Timeless Toni Storm HAMming it up on commentary? I’m delighted!
20. Ruby is dressed like Hot Topic Beetlejuice, and there’s no way she’s winning. One of them has a storyline involving the champion and it isn’t her. Again.
21. This turns out to be a pretty decent match, even with the inevitability, but Toni is the star of the segment by far. How far off the deep end will she go when Mariah one-ups her in some way?
22. Rush against Jay Lethal now. They’ve teased the “spoiler angle” for people who have been mathematically eliminated, but I doubt it’s happening here. Rush isn’t winning but he’s looked damn good in this tournament regardless.
23. Oh shit, did I skip the Golden Jets segment? Hold on.
24. Well, that happened. The second-hand cringe was unbearable. Anyway.
25. (Yes I’m writing this on my phone, sorry.) Rush gets the win. Lethal wrestles another really good match he had no chance of winning. Common thread on this show tonight.
26. Mox and Swerve is going to be the main event, like there was any other option. The blue league is really intriguing. Other than Garcia, I don’t know who will end up in the finals.
27. Jay White against Mark Briscoe. Of all the people already eliminated, I’m most surprised by Briscoe. I didn’t expect him to win or anything, but I didn’t expect him to lose every match. And there’s no way he’s winning this one either.
28. Jay White wins because of course he did. There’s gotta be at least some tension as to who gets to the semis.
29. Looks like Mark is gonna get his own shine at Final Battle, in what should be a really fun match. Not enough to make me sign up for Honor Club, but fun nonetheless.
30. Mox and Swerve, finally. I’ve been looking forward to this one.
31. The other BCC members haven’t fared quite as well, but Mox has looked like a world beater after putting over Orange Cassidy.
32. Considering who is involved, the relative lack of blood in this match is somewhat surprising. Although after seeing a bloodied surgery scar on Saturday, that’s not necessarily a complaint.
33. Time warning, will this finally be the first draw?
34. Wait, what?
35. Mox went over? I know Swerve is only a heel in name at this point, but I wasn’t expecting him to be a sympathetic face in a Screwjob ending. That’s… weird. I don’t know how I feel about it.
36. Oh shit, Hangers is getting Devil’d! Damn you, Red Herring!
37. Hangman gets put into a windshield. Meant to evoke Jack Perry? Probably, which also likely means it isn’t him.
38. The wrestling on this show was great. The CC has been awesome. The main event ending was somewhat confusing. I’d say the Golden Jets segment was a trainwreck, but I don’t want to impugn trainwrecks by association. Kudos to Ricky for at least trying to save it.
39. HAM goes to Samoa Joe for the way he said “Stetson and regret!”