IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #408
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Thoughts on Dynamite – February 22nd, 2023
1. It’s Wednesday night, and you know what that means. I’d say Phoenix is a tad more alive than the crowd last week, and we’re starting off with a strong match as AEW has been one to present. Orange Cassidy: Fighting Champion defends against the suddenly angry Wheeler Yuta. Yuta finally got around to being like “oh yeah, we had a thing once, I should do something about it.”
2. Yuta being righteous about “I don’t think you even care,” to Orange Cassidy, of all people, is interesting. If there’s someone who has made their whole thing about not caring…
3. This match starts at a million miles an hour, and they’ve been watching the show the last two weeks, so they immediately go for the Simon Miller Specials. If it works five times in two weeks, there might be something to it, right?
4. Yuta gets frustrated and walks outside, but Claudio Castagnoli walks to ringside and smacks Yuta in the face. This causes Yuta to be like “oh yeah, I’m in a stable with Moxley, I should bite something.”
5. Yuta throws OC all over ringside, then over a table, and kicks it on top of him. This gets him some boos. I suppose if he was doing it to just about anyone else, it might be cheered for the aggression, but OC is just that popular.
6. Cassidy cuts Yuta off and gets a huge pop by putting his hand in his pockets. OC continues messing with him, and it’s such an interesting contrast. Damn Phoenix is hot tonight. I guess they didn’t get the memo that last week’s Dynamite ended the show forever, again.
7. Wheeler Yuta continues to not only get heel heat, but play into it. I kinda like it.
8. Yuta cuts off a few hope spots, and the crowd is fully on the side of Cassidy. He makes even a simple suplex look vicious. He’s improved a ton since I started seeing him on the show.
9. Orange Cassidy finally gets some moves in, but then just hugs Wheeler Yuta, to his total confusion. It takes Yuta a few minutes to be mad about it, but he is and he does. Yuta’s got a counter for just about everything, it’s impressive to watch.
10. Yuta spits gum in Cassidy’s face. I didn’t know @Kaden_FTW made the trip a second week in a row, right on.
11. Cassidy gets Yuta with a devastating-looking diving DDT to the floor. Yuta comes back with a piledriver, but the commentators calling him on the mistake of telling the ref to make the count. Love that coming into play, a possible rookie mistake.
12. Orange Cassidy comes back with the Orange Punch, and Yuta kicks out at the last millisecond. OC gets a Beach Break, and Yuta gets out of that too! Another Orange Punch with emphasis, and OC gets the win in a phenomenal opening contest. What a great way to start the show.
13. They start to cut away when Yuta crawls up to Cassidy, who offers another hug. Claudio comes back out, and Yuta snubs him to considerable heat.
14. Renee is backstage with Hangman Page and Evil Uno. They both realize that they’re in an interview segment in AEW, and they both interrupt each other within a sentence. Uno finally calls for the Dark Order to stand up for themselves, and calls out Adam Page for implying that the Dark Order isn’t on his level.
15. It’s Vaporwave time, bay bay, Ricky Starks is here looking swank. Definitely the perfect time to cut away for the sports gambling shit. Never been so happy for the cutaway to the logo and the instrumental theme.
16. Ricky and his green suit. He’s got something in his pocket, so I wonder if that’s going to come into play. Ricky says he’s moving on from Chris Jericho, and good JBL I can only hope so. In his pocket is a contract for an open challenge at Revolution. What a shock, it’s JAS Degrees and… a jacket made out of a Kryptonian ship? This feud, like Matt Hardy in 2005, will not die.
17. Jericho jokes about Starks beating him was the highlight of his career. Cool, I didn’t know I witnessed such a historical moment in Seattle, good to know. Jericho doesn’t take the challenge, and instead we get… Peter Avalon?
18. Nevermind, Jericho punches Avalon right in the fuck, and this apparently changed his mind? Trying to find out but the feed cut out again.
19. We’re back with Starks mentioning that Jericho beat two legends in one night, so why does he need JAS to win the match? Damn, I didn’t know that about Jericho, he should mention it once in a while.
20. Starks first doesn’t think that Jericho can beat him, but then he changes his mind. Jericho mentions a few of his 235 nicknames, so this is a reverse psychology promo it seems. It’s only the “lowly” Ricky Starks, well played. He says he’ll make all the changes but, whoops, he doesn’t have a pen.
21. Oh snap, Ricky does have a pen. Jericho lifts it up like it’s the List of Jericho, and this has so much HAM that I’m shocked the ring isn’t covered in glaze. Jericho claims that nobody outsmarts the Ocho, but even the commentators point out that may have just happened.
22. All the tag teams get a little promo before the tag match, but Sonjay Dutt got a slice of HAM of his own. I didn’t expect him to be the most over-the-top of all people in this little segment, but I’m not complaining either.
23. I think I hear a pinball machine in a fight with a garbage disposal, so that must be the Firm. Stokely accompanies Big Bill and Lee Moriarty dressed like he should have a bongo drum and some snap poetry.
24. The Acclaimed has the poetry though, as Moriarty plugs his ears while sitting in the ring. Hey, we even get a SAWFT reference thrown in there, surprised it took that long to happen.
25. Surprised to see these two teams pairing off, I thought Hook was the one having beef with these two? Who cares, we’ve got huge Acclaimed chants. One of the best parts of being in an arena where they either haven’t been or haven’t been for a very long time is how much hotter the crowds are for the show, pretty much regardless of what happens in it.
26. The crowd gets their own HAM for chanting “ScissorZona,” but I’m sure the state legislature is already trying to ban that phrase as a result.
27. This match brought to you by the Pelvic Thrust. Word is it really drives you insa-a-a-a-yne. Might as well do it again, let’s.
28. Big Bill and his faces in this match, they’re definitely something. This makes the Gunns come out to give everyone an excuse to chant “Ass Boys.” We then get an over-exaggerated self-scissor with Undertaker eyes. What the hell did I just say?
29. As Bowens hits a comeback and does his own taunt, there’s a young woman in plain view who looks like she’d rather be literally anywhere else, and I don’t know why I found that so hilarious, but I did. A scissor with Daddy Ass causes Big Bill to kick Senior Ass right in the fuck, and the Juniors Ass get in on the action. They all circle the ring like Braun Strowman heard a choo-choo.
30. A backslide doesn’t work, but maybe a finishing move will, what a concept. The Acclaimed win like they know they’re the ones booked in the tag title match coming up, but it got a good pop on a night where the crowd is already on fire, so can’t go wrong there.
31. Tony stands awkwardly up on the ramp, but the Acclaimed want no part of it so they leave reverse-Shield style.
32. Sounds like 2002 Evanescence, so it means it’s Christian Cage time. Suddenly a spear out of nowhere, credit to Jungle Boy for interrupting the interview before it even starts. That’s a one-up, well done. JB arrives, spears someone, leaves.
33. No wait, he’s got two chairs! He sets up for the solo Con-Chair-To, but hesitates. This was a mistake as it gets him an unfortunate snipe from the crafty heel veteran. Christian bounces JB’s skull off the chair like it’s a turnbuckle ten count. Tazz calls it a “rouge.” I didn’t know Christian was the Duke of the nightclub.
34. Samoa Joe responds to Wardlow’s threats by assuring him that he’ll regret it. That match is gonna be a huge pay-off.
35. A song that got a huge pop only a few months ago now indicates the arrival of Mean Girls and their Originals spray paint. Skye Blue finally gets another televised match after her fantastic showing with Jade a little while ago. Those homegrown talents and their integrities, the shenanigans ensue immediately.
36. Skye Blue is getting the cheap heat from Saraya but I can’t tell if she’s in pain or smiling. She gets a fine counter out of it though but it doesn’t get her too far just yet. To her credit, Skye Blue’s cross-body looks like it hurts a lot more than most versions of that move.
37. We have a third Toni Storm shenanigan already, and Aubrey falls for it. Where are all the other Originals that supposedly care about this Mean Girl reign of terror? Speaking of which, Saraya wins by submission, but Jamie makes the huge face save. They spray paint a fan’s DMD sign instead, that’ll show ’em.
38. Before the Mean Girls can run away, Ruby Soho cuts them off to… challenge Jamie Hayter to a title match? That’s an interesting time for such a request, but sure.
39. There’s some Wagner about, so we’ve got Bryan Danielson. The dragon on his entrance video looks like an AirFrame from the Isle of the Damned on Chrono Cross.
40. Danielson soaks in the adoration, and then decides to respond to MJF’s hatred of him. The way he makes it sound, MJF has been trying to break the arm of his friend for over 20 years, but I get what he’s saying. The whole theme of this promo is “here’s all the shit you did, but he hates me.”
41. MJF even gets a pop while coming out in super meanface mode. We continue the theme of last week of knowing who Danielson really is. MJF brings up the dreamgirl again as well as claiming that he’s been abandoned, so a turn is coming where he gets to be a sick fuck again.
42. MJF tells the story of dreamgirl leaving him like he’s angry in a comment section, and the crowd chants “you deserve it.” Oof. MJF is super mad about how much everyone loves Danielson, and he’s doing a great job of feeding the already-massive reactions. He claims that Danielson takes his family for granted, which… never saw that to be the case, but sure.
43. There’s the turn, MJF taking digs at the concussions of Danielson’s past. By stepping foot in the ring under these circumstances, that’s spitting in his face because it makes wrestling more important than family? I’m quite sure the character saying those words truly believes that’s justified. The volume is way up past 11 but you would think he might’ve brought this up before the accident switcheroo.
44. MJF talks to Danielson’s kids down the lens. It’s supposed to be scary, but I can’t help but find it really funny. “Uncle Max” talks about what he’s going to do to Dada. MJF almost brings up the dreaded letters of “CTE” and that’s the breaking point. All the security hits, so we’re about to get another pull-apart brawl. In this case it’s justified, but I’ve seen a few too many of those.
45. They wore the same color shirt, that’s good of them. I’ve never seen a pull-apart brawl get a “holy shit!” chant going though, so this crowd is white hot for anything and I love it.
46. We get a rare replay of what we just saw, before going to poorly-mic’d Tony with Britt and Jamie. She says she thinks Saraya is getting too big for her britches. Only just now? All right. She puts over Ruby Soho and her return too, and makes the title match a three-way with Saraya. Let’s see if some progress happens with the story at some point.
47. We come back with all the teams crashing the ring. Penta has the Joker mask which always looks badass. I’m not even gonna try to keep up with everything going on. I wonder which of these teams is gonna be in there with Acclaimed, Gunns, and the winner of the Casino Battle Royal (likely surprise return FTR).
48. Mark Briscoe hits the ring to add even more people to the chaos, and he goes after Woods and Smart Mark Sterling. Okay then. This causes Tony Nese to be eliminated via ring apron piledriver, damn that looked nasty.
49. I’m hoping one of TK’s patented “big announcements” is good news.
50. Johnny Hungee with a seriously long delayed vertical suplex. No matter how much of a post anyone gets when they do that, it’s really impressive all the same. As is Fenix (in Phoenix) walking across the ropes to kick Rush in the face for the elimination.
51. Danhausen comes into the ring and… immediately gets thrown over the top rope by 2.0. Um, okay. Sure, why not? Danhausen messing with 2.0, that is HAM-to-HAM combat of the highest order (no Dark.) He curses them, which causes them to be eliminated.
52. Butcher is getting put over huge in this match. Nice to see, given how often he and Blade’s job is to make others look good.
53. Jeff Jarrett hit Trent Baretta with a chair shot so soft that Max Caster spelled it out for ya earlier tonight.
54. Butcher gets another elimination with Dante, which is a surprise given the recent push with Top Flight, but then Fenix tosses him out, and then Fenix follows them. We’re down to Jarrett, Lethal, and… Trent Baretta? Can safely say I didn’t see that coming. Wait, I think someone else went through the middle rope, but I didn’t catch who.
55. Satnam keeps both of his stablemates from double elimination, and then Trent skins the cat. They do some carny fun while Orange Cassidy comes out from being the Anonymous RAW GM under the ring to make the save. Danhausen chases his HAM competitor Sonjay Dutt away, and Satnam saves Jarrett yet again. The Best Friends were never gonna win, but I didn’t expect Jarrett and Lethal to be involved in the title match. Maybe I should’ve though, given their repeated run-ins with the Acclaimed. I thought someone else had been tossed through the middle rope, but I guess that person already got eliminated and I didn’t make the connection.
56. The House of Black gets a spooky promo because they want the Elite face-to-face before Revolution. Whatever gets us to that trios match, I’m fine with it. Tony’s big announcement is next. It’s being given a near-main event spot, so I’m anxious to see what it is. Forbidden Door 2, maybe?
57. Backstage with Renee is where we’re getting it. Instead of TK doing it though, it’s Adam Cole, Bay Bay! It’s a new show immediately following Dynamite, AEW All Access. Is it a one-hour Road to Dynamite sort of thing? If so, that’s perfectly fine. But also, Adam Cole will make his in-ring return on the same day as the debut of the new series, but we still don’t know who against.
58. Ohai, Action Andretti for Rampage, good to see you back. You haven’t been gone as long as Lance Archer though, wow! Rampage looks packed, though likely a few squash matches in there since multiple people were announced as “in action.”
59. Backstage, even celebrations get interrupted as the Gunns propose an alliance with Team Carny, or at least I think that’s what they meant.
60. Rundown of the Revolution Card, where Excalibur can do his Micro Machines guy impression. Some have their photo shoot for the graphic match cards done, but others do not.
61. Moxley and Evil Uno will be the main event, which means we get the Ricky Vaughn entrance, and that will always be fine with me. Much like others before, one has been on television every week and one has been confined to Dark and BTE, so I don’t like Evil Uno’s chances. However, that quick promo spin that Uno put on it earlier tonight does make it more interesting at least.
62. This is a niche joke and I realize that, but if anyone has ever listened to the Song of Ice and Fire audiobooks and heard Roy Dotrice call out the woof-howls with an “awoooo,” the moment after Dark Order’s theme says “join the Dark Order,” it sounds like a very low version of that exact sound. It makes me laugh really hard, but usually just with my partner since we listened to those books together on road trips. Even though Martin and Patrick Rothfuss seem to be in a “who can release their anticipated sequel later” contest, I still enjoy those books.
63. Mox goes all Rush/Preston Vance and starts trying to tear the mask off. Evil Uno does a top rope Senton to the outside. Wow. Uno getting in a considerable amount of offense here.
64. The crowd is firmly behind Evil Uno, much like they were behind Orange Cassidy against Wheeler Yuta. I guess Phoenix doesn’t like the BCC. Well, maybe it’s more split, but still.
65. We’ve got blood in a Moxley match, but surprisingly it’s not him. Though once again, why? Because it’s a day.
66. Evil Uno is bleeding badly. I’m not sure if Uno has something in his mask that’s making it worse, but it sure looks like it. Mox wins with the bulldog and doesn’t let go. Weirdly right as the music hits, there’s a random swoosh sound like Yuta’s music hit or something. Speaking of whom, the Dark Order comes out to get Mox, but the BCC (no Danielson) attack. Then Hangman comes out to… not his music? New music, maybe?
67. I spoke too soon about Mox not bleeding, Hangman has barbed wire and punches him repeatedly with it. Mox avoids the Buckshot, but he too has some serious gusher energy as the show goes off the air right away.
68. They packed A LOT into this show, though it was front-heavy like a longer Rampage. The card for Revolution is fleshing out and I think it’ll be a lot of fun. This was a show that was greatly enhanced by the super hot crowd, so that was nice to see. Chock full of HAM all over the place, which is always a bonus for me.
LARGE HAM
1/4/23 – The Gunns
1/11/23 – Daddy Magic
1/13/23 – Danhausen
1/18/23 – Sonjay Dutt
1/20/23 – Stokely Hathaway
1/25/23 – Tony Schiavone
1/27/23 – Danhausen
2/1/23 – Jade Cargill
2/3/23 – Ethan Page
2/8/23 – MJF
2/10/23 – STIIIIIIING
2/15/23 – Ruby Soho
2/17/23 – Dustin Rhodes
2/22/23 – Chris Jericho
So many contenders, but I’m gonna take Chris Jericho for this one. Both his ridiculous “I’m smarter than you even though I just got owned” energy, and because he invoked The List, which was my favorite of his latter day gimmicks.
I hope you all are well, and if you’re in the Minnesota area like I am, I hope you’re safe from this massive blizzard we’re dealing with. There’s already 7-9 inches on the ground and the weather service has put out another blizzard warning. The last time I was in a snowstorm this massive, the roof of the Metrodome collapsed, so when a snowstorm is labeled “historic” in JBLdamn Minnesota, you know it’s serious. Fortunately, I work from home so I don’t have to go anywhere, and I feel very grateful for that right about now.
See you Friday night.
