IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #430
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Thoughts on AEW Dynamite – May 31st, 2023
1. It’s Wednesday, etc. I’m anticipating a great amount of things happening since, unlike the usual three month period between PPVs, Forbidden Door is approaching quite quickly. If last year is any indication, it will not only be put together in haste, but they’ll learn from the mistakes they made in the buildup toward such an event. New faces, familiar faces, regular ones, all the same, I’m sure they won’t take long to bring them out.
2. A new location usually means for good crowds, which will be fortunate considering that was the biggest complaint of the previous show. The BCC, with Danielson on the commentary table, throw water into the crowd and do their usual Rick Vaughn introduction. Once you come back from an exploding shoe to the face, what more do you need in terms of confidence?
3. They’re facing the Lucha Brothers and Bandido. Bandido sure has found himself a lot of friends lately. Pac must be taking the loss of the Trios titles really hard, as I don’t think we’ve seen his surly self since. The BCC are the surly ones in the face of color and excitement though, such amateurs. Seconds later, it seems Danielson agrees, “you don’t fight the BCC dressed like a bug.” Who do you fight dressed like a bug then?
4. A triple dive turns into a triple throat punch, and it turns into a mauling very quickly. According to Danielson, this match is taking place because Yuta screwed up last week. It may be a ridiculous reason, but they’re playing up to it well. The heels are justified in their actions, in their own minds at least.
5. Bandido takes this newfound aggression and turns it into a stalling suplex while a melee ensues around him. One hell of a post by Yuta or not, Bandido holds him up for a solid minute and that is freaking impressive. Danielson does his job and puts them over, grimacing the whole time nonetheless. The tide turns when Bandido goes for the largest Flying Nothing this side of Montez Ford’s hangtime.
6. Some good ol’ house show HAM during the commercial break with Danielson encouraging Taz to train with Wheeler Yuta. Send Hook?
7. Danielson makes another great point, he’s on fire tonight. “Who’s fighting here tonight three days after Anarchy in the Arena, and who isn’t?” Heels that aren’t cowardly, feel totally justified, and are tough as nails can be done well. I think they live up to the original gimmick a lot more as heels, especially with the Gentleman Villain was involved. His presence is missed, but Danielson is doing an admirable job taking over as the voice of the stable.
8. Bandido gets the mild tag. The crowd seemed amped until the tag actually happened and then it got weirdly quiet for some reason. The crowd is back very shortly but that was a very strange moment. And goodness do they need to do something with Bandido. The extra show should provide a great opportunity for that.
9. Yuta gets a little help, and takes Bandido down with the anvil elbows and the Seatbelt. Great match, unfortunate to see Bandido lose again, but BCC is being kept strong for the inevitable next chapter in the Elite feud. Danielson heads down to the ring to raise the hand of “the little shit.”
10. Speaking of the Elite, there they are. They say the BCC bring out the worst in them, which is why they had an exploding superkick. That sells the severity. The Dark Order tries to approach, because they keep losing friends, and we also learn that Kenny left the country over the match. All right then.
11. We’ve got a triple threat coming up next, which they say is stemming from the International title battle royal, and I suppose it is. Big Bill, Swerve, and Trent Baretta, they’re gonna have a fightski because OC is busy tagging with Darby again. At least Big Bill got put over really well, and Swerve looked vicious.
12. I think Tony’s feed got accidentally played during the break, because I hear him saying that it’s great to be in San Diego while the logo is on the screen. Must be that announcement coming up that nobody has any idea of what it’s going to be whatsoever.
13. Speaking of which, there’s the preview graphic for it. Instead, we’ve got Tony in the ring plugging the replay and bringing out Bullet Club Gold. I guess the triple threat isn’t up next. At least they’re finally giving them a little bit of mic time. Now that they’re not coming in during the latter half of a PPV feud, it should make a difference.
14. Jay continues to HAM it up while putting over the Double or Nothing event. They remind Ricky Starks that he’s not the International champion. Well, neither are you? Juice sees Jay’s HAM and raises it a few decibels by questioning why FTR helped Ricky Starks. Fair question. But it’s because “Ricky STARKS AIN’T GOT NO FRIENDS!” Perennial HAM contenders, they definitely are.
15. There’s some synthwave. Oh, now I get why Ricky and FTR are hanging out together now. This is certainly a step up from another Triple J tag title feud. They suggest FTR want to join the Goldmembers, and that actually gets a huge pop. Juice punches Dax right in the fuck with a fist full of quarters. This is absolutely delightful, and it means we’re gonna get a banger of a tag match out of it. Ohai Ricky Starks, finally you make it.
16. Sign in the crowd: Joel, please call . Hey, why not use the medium to pass along information?
17. Ricky comes out and delivers a promo so fierce that the camera on him can’t stay steady and the one on Juice can’t focus.
18. Major announcement about Collision, and yep, that’s what I heard during the commercial break. Hmm, an event at the United Center, what could it possibly be? Oh, it’ll feature CM Punk, who saw that coming except for everyone? It got more of a pop than I expected, considering he was getting booed half-and-half in Chicago when I was there in November. Time heals some wounds at least. I just hope there’s significantly fewer issues this time around, regardless of fault.
19. Swerve has such presence, it’s ridiculous. He needs to be an even bigger star than he already is. Big Bill is mad at Trent Baretta for… eating the Big Bill Big Boot instead of OC? I suppose that’s a motivating factor.
20. The commercial break is mostly an exercise in live-action Thesaurus while Taz brings up the Hucklebuck again. I love it.
21. They keep applying “big” to every move Bill does, in case you weren’t aware with your eyeholes that he’s considerably taller than the other two. It’s almost like it’s in his name or something. All the same, this is a lot of fun. Swerve and Bill are really eager to find out which one of them is going to pin Baretta.
22. “This has been a back and forth battle on all three sides.” Would that make it a back and forth and back? Or back, back, and forth? These are the important questions of the day.
23. It’s Swerve who’s going to pin Trent, with a very similar move that Yuta used. Swerve needed the win, and it was pretty obvious who was taking the pin, but still good all the same.
24. Kris Statlander reflects on her comeback and win, and I couldn’t be happier for her. The video they put together and posted on YouTube was really emotional.
25. Renee introduces the Acclaimed and Senior Ass. It’s weird we’ve only seen her once nearly an hour into the show. They want gold back, and they’re putting over Billy in the process, because he deserves to hold a championship one more time. Even two years ago, did you think that would be the person they’d be saying that about? What an amazing second life this gimmick has given him.
26. Tony has got a Renee-like schedule in the ring tonight, and Tony barely manages to spit out the name of Don Callis. What heat that gets though! He comes out with Takeshita, so this should be interesting. The others tell us that the Elite left the arena. All right then.
27. Callis is getting nuclear heat, and not just because of those pants. It keeps increasing every time he talks, it’s incredible. He takes credit for everything Omega’s accomplished in his career, says he lost a nephew but gained a son. He puts over Takeshita as the best athlete he’s ever seen, including some of the biggest names in New Japan. Takeshita takes the mic and they vow to destroy the Elite and Kenny Omega. I just can’t get over how much heat Callis is getting.
28. Wardlow throws out a challenge to Luchasaurus, which I’m still surprised wasn’t the match in the first place, but it went pretty well, considering.
29. Next we’ve got the Gates of Agony against OC and Darby. One’s going to climb Mt. Everest, one might take a nap at base camp.
30. It’s really odd to hear Orange Cassidy’s theme in the middle of the show. He continues to take more matches despite his deteriorating condition.
31. Orange Cassidy tags out and collapses in a heap on the floor. Both he and Darby are getting dominated in the early part of the match. Tony continues to burn Don Callis in the best way. Cage, Swerve, and Nana come out to observe heelishly.
32. This is way more of a one-sided match than I thought it would be, even with one of them being considerably injured. Darby collapses as they try to set him up for something and they get a good guffaw out of that. These two seem low on the list of people you’d want to have a chop-off with.
33. OC finally gets the hot tag, and that’s more of the reaction I was expecting from this crowd. Sloth-style continues to work out for him despite everything, it’s a delight to see. The Stundog Millionaire/Code Red combo is a thing of beauty. Darby gets the win via Coffin Drop. Swerve does not approve.
34. The Affiliates slowly move to attack, but there’s Sting! Haven’t seen him since he threw some shade at MJF!
35. Tony, again, is in the ring, and he’s interrupted by Hook of all people. It’s a promo, so of course there’s an interruption. And they’re interrupted by… LFI? To just about no reaction at first. Rush is too dangerous to be on television, but ex-10 and Dralistico is here. They surround the ring and jump him two-on-one.
36. Jungle Boy, remembering the days of Junglehook, makes the save while pulling a Julia and singing his song. He comes out with a chair and jacks LFI up. Jose the Assistant gets assisted into a suplex. Is this where JB turns? He’s still got the chair in his hand. Nope, but that’ll be a fun tag match.
37. Renee interviews the Outcasts, and she’s got the title and the BFFs, and Toni’s radiance is contagious. All three of them are doing fake modesty to the extreme, and it’s delightful. Even a dig about “fighting” champions is thrown in there for good measure.
38. Justin Roberts gets a close-up with someone avidly texting behind him. We’re gonna get Nyla and Kris next, and Nyla seems to be the default first-defense for the new titles. Marina herself has got a bit of the darker look going on for her few seconds on stage, I dig it.
39. Much like her return on Sunday, Statlander’s theme either seems quieter than the others or it just doesn’t hit the same way as some of the others do.
40. Nyla’s an underutilized HAM in her own right, and now that she’s sans Vicki, I hope she gets the opportunity to be as hilarious as she can be when given the chance. Taya watches on, anxious to get another shot.
41. These two hit each other hard and often. Kris looks great after being gone for so long, and Nyla does the job for which she’s been cast a lot: making someone look good while maintaining credibility. Kris takes a nasty fall against the turnbuckles. She comes back and wins with a 450 splash though, and Taya does not approve… for some reason.
42. Orange Cassidy’s getting a one-on-one shot for the International title, and I expect this to be where the reign finally comes to an end. Swerve needs something to level up, and OC’s reign has been far beyond what anyone could’ve expected when he won it.
43. Adam Cole’s music brings the BOOM so hard that it knocks out the sound for a few seconds. They’re both dressed in sky blue (no Skye).
44. I realize the ending of their match reflected a Jericho match from 2008, as pointed out by a commenter. I don’t know, it still didn’t sit right with me. On the same show you had barbed wire poker chip, exploding shoe, and a boop alien making a surprise return and winning a title, repeated punches with a chain ending an unsanctioned match just didn’t work for me.
45. Let the shenanigans begin, the Outcasts and Shida get into another stickfight. Jericho yells at Britt, and that does a great amount of good for him. I wish I cared about this feud more than I do.
46. Jericho tries to take the top rope fall for Saraya. Damn, I didn’t realize he cared so much about her, but sure. Jericho is ridiculously over in San Diego. I haven’t heard a pop for the Walls like that in a long time.
47. Jericho not only gets in the Lockjaw, but sells it pretty hard. Well done, Y2J.
48. First mention of Forbidden Door just now. Unless you count the names that Don Callis mentioned in putting over Takeshita. I’m really surprised, honestly. It’s already less than a month to the show.
49. “Superkick Party Jones.” This after “Cannonball Jones” earlier in the night. Adam Cole and Britt Baker win, now please move Adam Cole into something new for Forbidden Door, please.
50. Jericho throws a chair in the ring. “Here, have a weapon because I’m angry, roar roar.” Of all the ways to handle this situation, that’s definitely one of them.
51. This show had a couple of great matches, but damn if it didn’t feel like they were stalling. I don’t know, it felt similar to the go-home show last week, but I didn’t expect it to happen again when you’ve got a show to hype up a few weeks away. Callis’s nuclear heat was something else, though. Wow. I’m interested to see what this all sets up, but it felt more like it was adding a P.S. to the feuds of last night than establishing new ones.
1/4/23 – The Gunns
1/11/23 – Daddy Magic
1/13/23 – Danhausen
1/18/23 – Sonjay Dutt
1/20/23 – Stokely Hathaway
1/25/23 – Tony Schiavone
1/27/23 – Danhausen
2/1/23 – Jade Cargill
2/3/23 – Ethan Page
2/8/23 – MJF
2/10/23 – STIIIIIIING
2/15/23 – Ruby Soho
2/17/23 – Dustin Rhodes
2/22/23 – Chris Jericho
2/24/23 – Matt Hardy
3/1/23 – Big Bill
3/3/23 – Jungle Boy
3/5/23 – MJF
3/8/23 – Anthony Bowens
3/10/23 – Riho
3/15/23 – MJF/Darby Allin/Jungle Boy/Sammy Guevara
3/22/23 – STIIIIIING
3/29/23 – Juice Robinson
3/31/23 – Eddie Kingston
4/5/23 – MJF
4/7/23 – Darby Allin/Julia Hart
4/12/23 – STIIIIIIIIING
4/14/23 – 2.0/Biff Hager
4/19/23 – Sammy Guevara
4/26/23 – MJF
5/3/23 – Triple J/Mark Briscoe
5/5/23 – The Firm Deletion – All of it
5/10/23 – Chuck Taylor and Trent Baretta
5/17/23 – Toni Storm
5/24/23 – Jay White
5/28/23 – Darby Allin
5/31/23 – Juice Robinson
