IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #465
Contact: Email
Support: Donate here
Thoughts on AEW: Dynamite – January 31st, 2024
1. Es ist Mittwochabend, du weißt was das bedeutet! Special thanks to the Fightful Awards and the Attitude Era Podcast, I greatly appreciate it!
2. Fandom is complicated, a lot of people have questions and guilt. Some are retrospectively analyzing things they grew up with. Some might not stay around, some may find it more complicated to do so. Some may be defending terrible people, and I’m not talking to or about them. I just want you to know that it’s okay to have complicated feelings, that they’re valid, and that you didn’t cause what happened by enjoying something that’s supposed to be a distraction and entertainment. Take care of yourself, and do what you need to do.
3. Wow, that’s a new record of futility, the feed got to “It’s Wednesday” before crapping out for the first time. Glad to see that second price hike in a year is paying off.
4. I know I’m late to the party, but I have been listening to Mox’s autobiography on audiobook, and it’s like a 9-hour Mox promo. I have a new appreciation for him.
5. I don’t think I’ve seen Jeff Hardy look this disinterested since Survivor Series 2002, but at least this time it’s in kayfabe. H-A-R-D-Why are you suffering from ennui with that much face paint?
6. Mox was slightly mocking… Or Moxing, if you will.
7. Okay, this is nothing against Toa Leona whatsoever, but you could choose literally anyone in the company to beat up the opponent, and you pick a tag wrestler to do a singles match? I get that Brian Cage has faced him a bunch of times already and always seems to lose singles matches, but… you could throw Powerhouse Hobbs or Lance Archer or hell, Paul Wight.
8. What in the scientifically-stunted fuck is Mox doing to Jeff’s ear?
9. Oof, that Whisper in the Wind landed pretty high, there’s no way that felt particularly good, intentional or not. Mox is at least nice enough to help Jeff itch that spot he can’t reach on his back though, so it’s not all bad. At least he didn’t bite it.
10. Mox with the awesome Diamond… Cutter! Shoulders back, chest out, and watch for the shoe. Mox gets the win to absolutely no surprise whatsoever, but that was a really fun match despite that. They’re obviously going somewhere with this Hardys losing streak, so I’m curious at the least.
11. Mox got involved with some of the luchadors at ringside during the match, and suddenly they attack him four-on-one. Is Mox okay?
12. Making the save after security fails are… Christopher Daniels, Matt Sydal, Daddy Magic, and Angelo Parker? Okay then. I guess someone has to lose to these four later.
13. I’m surprised Hangman was the more strategic of the two in not revealing who the opponent is in advance. Except he totally (possibly?) gave it away by saying he has to wait the “whole f’n show” to find out. If that means the main event is Swerve vs. RVD, I’m fine with that.
14. Toa looks pretty twisted. Not “tilt your head to the side” twisted, but twisted nonetheless.
15. Toa throws Hangman over the ropes from the ring apron, that was pretty damn cool.
16. Commentary during the break continues to be golden. Tazz 2.3 is apparently a thing.
17. Toa no-sold the Deadeye, so they’re putting him over pretty decently here. But has he ever been pinned or submitted in AEW? You’d think they might mention that.
18. Hangman wins after turning a Samoan Drop into a Crucifix pin, pretty damn good match even if it’s the second one in a row with a 100-percent obvious win. Them cutting in at approximately .387 seconds after the end of the match to tell us the rankings will be released after the show was a bit awkward.
19. Now the Jacksons are fining people for not saying their full names. All I can hear in my head is Natasha Leggero saying “actually I prefer Nicholas…”
20. Next out is “Mr. Wardlow, Mr. Mayhem” Wardlow, and Adam Cole is borrowing Roddy’s old gimmick to get to the ring. Poor Komander, he finally won a televised match and now he unfortunately has just two days left until retirement.
21. Bonus HAM to the AEW social media team for releasing a Lofi Orange Cassidy video. Or whatever.
22. “Oh, bravo to Orange Cassidy.” Cole back on commentary is good news for the HAM levels of the show.
23. Propeller Jones launches Komander into the Stratosphere (no Trish.)
24. Komander’s pretty scrappy in this match. He’s getting in more offense than I thought he would. I think the Phoenix Splash landed on Wardlow’s face though. That’ll ruin your weekend.
25. Wardlow is not okay, that powerbomb didn’t look good at all.
26. They throw Komander back in the ring afterward, but somehow “Jane” manages to be a badass save theme.
27. I’m really just hoping we haven’t seen multiple concussions on this show, that matters to me more than anything really.
28. Okay, we’ve had three matches with 100-percent obvious winners, and have at least one more, because Swerve isn’t losing tonight no matter who it is. Which I’m okay with. But something’s gotta mix it up a bit. After all those PPVs in the latter half of 2023, returning to a several month build for Revolution seems to have some padding.
29. Sit-down face…. off with Ricky/Bill and Darby/Sting. They flash back to Revolution 2021, which looks really cool. I haven’t seen clips of that match before. Darby shows more fire than he usually does, I’m pleasantly surprised. Ricky and Bill are yelling at each other and the other three are sitting around like the awkward friends at the party while the couple who lives there is fighting again. Now all we need is JR awkwardly walking away.
30. Liquids do not count at physicality. Sting thinks there’s been enough talk. It’s time for the main event… next week.
31. Well, I guess Kyle Fletcher is about to lose to face Jericho. Joy. At least it’s not also another ROH title match on AEW tv.
32. Fletcher’s gotta try to get this win to get back home, with his little dog too. Click those ruby boots three times and Kevin Nash will show you the way.
33. This crowd is among the more generous with their reactions in recent memory.
34. Jericho overcame all the odds himself, whatever. But the brown noise allows Takeshita to come out to make threats from the stage.
35. Deonna tells us a bit more of the background behind the matching tattoos they share. A duck tale, if you will.
36. We’re gonna hear that awesome new theme for the BCG, and damn did they get a pop! They don’t even change the theme for the Acclaimed portion of the show. I am in favor of this. I know some people hate it, but the reaction is truly massive.
37. These six have dominated trios wrestling for years? I must’ve missed a few years.
38. They go out to get Cardblade though, now there’s someone who has dominated. The Juice-board however… Well, they get a Juice-Board, whoop whoop, and Taz asking how many cardboard people are under the ring. Dead.
39. Billy Gunn does a little DX nostalgia, but because it’s a “new err,” they then scissor. Or… I don’t know, gunsor? Wrestling is weird.
40. Sister Toni, Queen of HAMs is gracing us with her presence on commentary yet again. Somehow she keeps upping her HAM game even with an entrance.
41. Deonna is very, very blue today. She must be taking over some shit.
42. Taya and Johnny deserve a bonus wardrobe HAM for those outfits they were wearing when they made the challenge for this match. Toni rants on about the “tatus.” I suppose we’re not gonna get one match without an obvious winner tonight, are we?
43. Duluth, Georgia gets two shows in a row, but we can’t get them up to the AMSOIL in Duluth, Minnesota just once?
44. Toni corrects the commentators, it’s pronounced “sup-lay.” That is an old school wrestling reference right there.
45. We even get a Mike Adamle reference with a “Jeff Harvey” drop. Commentary has it all tonight. I think they’re gonna have to get a collective HAM, both regulars and guests.
46. Oh hey, those random four people who came out to chase off the luchadors are facing the luchadors on Rampage, I’ll be.
47. The crowd’s chanting Johnny something. I think. I also think there was just a car accident outside.
48. Toni just challenged them to fisticuffs, and someone’s pissed in her seat. I know I said she was gold but this is ridiculous.
49. Renee is backstage, and it feels like we’ve usually seen her twelve times by now. She asks Darby about his admiration for the Young Bucks. Okay? What?
50. Joe has been a class champion and just has the vibe of someone who is at the top of the company. They’ve presented this reign extremely well so far.
51. Even though Hangman gave it away with his promo, we’re still getting RVD vs. Swerve. Joe adds to the collective HAM of commentary tonight “RVD’s kicks have damaged more teeth than gingivitis.”
52. Swerve now looks even sillier now for not knowing he could pick a stipulation. Really? One of the smartest guys in the company didn’t know that? They didn’t mention it to him when they made the arrangement? Nana didn’t tell him? That’s just ridiculous. What is not ridiculous is Rob immediately throwing a chair in his face.
53. It’s a wrestling crowd, so the “we want tables” chants begin. Because of course they do.
54. I think someone in the first row is playing a game of Jingly Keys. That’ll distract ’em!
55. Just like the big Hangman match, Brian Cage comes out to blatantly interfere. Hook comes out to make the save, complete with a D12 shirt. Detroit is kinda close to Battle Creek, I suppose. Close enough. I used to live in Battle Creek when I was really young. The only thing I remember about it is the giant Tony the Tiger statue.
56. Another thrown chair leads to Swerve crashing off the turnbuckle through a table, and I’m just hoping he didn’t get hurt. There have been way too many nasty-looking spots tonight.
57. That chair is awfully close to where they’re messing around on the turnbuckles. Nice job by Bryce to subtly slide it out of the way. Swerve wins a damn fun match.
58. Hangman’s music hits, and Swerve has the face of someone who just sat through Heroes of Wrestling. He lets Swerve know that HE IS A (N EVIL) BASTARD! I miss Pac.
59. Is it gonna be a triple threat at Revolution? Who knows? Maybe? Will they have Swerve win for the third time in a row? I hope so.
60. This show… it had its fun moments, some really scary moments, some ridiculous HAM on commentary, but… every single match had an unquestionably obvious winner. That takes some of the fun out of it. Props to this crowd for showing the hell up and making the show seem better by default though.
61. They are really stacking the card next week, aren’t they? Perhaps a big debut is also in store?
LARGE HAM
Commentary, all of them. Yes, Toni is included so she hasn’t not gotten at least part of a HAM so far this year, but others did too this time.
