I genuinely hate the way wrestling matches are composed nowadays with moves that should end the match in real life. A DDT is literally what you’d do to someone if you want them murdered, not the thing you do before you hit the body slam. Finishers used to be protected because A. some moves have meaning and B. some moves would realistically kill someone. Now, a person can be seen dead as a door knob laying flat on his limp dead, so very dead body… and then kick out at 2. Here’s a list of moves that used to have a point, but now everyone does them because “wrestling.”
5. The Super Kick
Super Kicks (or as we call it in wrestling, Superkicks, because we would lose too much time without the gap since we use the term every other move) has become a staple in every indie wrestling match ever. Superkicks are how two indie wrestlers signal to each other that a real wrestling move should be coming up soon, but they are not sure what it is, yet. Superkicks are how indie wrestlers nod to each other when passing in the hallways or on the sidewalks. Superkicks are how indie promoters keep track of how many seconds have gone by per match. There is a lot of Superkicks.
The Superkick was made famous by “The Heartbreak Kick” Shawn Michaels under the name Sweet Chin Music. It was also used by “The Gentleman” Chris Adams, who some may even say did it better than Shawn Michaels. Fight about it in the comment sections.
4. DDT
If Superkicks are how Indie wrestlers say hello, DDTs are how indie wrestlers say they forgot how to do the Superkick. DDTs are used to fill in gaps during matches where two or more people know three moves combined and they’ve already cycles through them 10 times.
The move was made famous by Jake “The Snake” Roberts, who said that the three letters D.D.T. stands for “The End.” That all checks out. In the mid-90s, the DDT was one of the most protected moves in wrestling. When Jake Roberts hit the move, the match was over. Someone getting spiked on the head should mean the end of the match, which is why in 2020 its very confusing to see it used as a transition move for a less impactful Finisher like Edge’s spear.
3. The Spear
The spear started out as a move only big, muscular men did to destroy their opponents by launching their girth into the midsection of much smaller men. Now, it is the go-to move for divas and guest-wrestlers like Shane McMahon and Kevin Federline.
When Goldberg hit the spear, you knew the match was over. The Jackhammer was more of a formality. The Jackhammer was just Bill Goldberg’s way of reminding everyone that gravity is a suggestion on his planet before pinning someone from the spear. Now, the spear is just a stomach clothesline. Today’s clothesline is what high school boys do to each other between towel whips.
2. The Canadian Destroyer
The Canadian Destroyer is famous because 90% of the work is done by the person taking the move which makes it very easy for non-wrestlers and wrestlers with non-skills to pull off. Unfortunately, its one of those moves that has become so oversaturated that its not even amusing to see anymore. The magic is gone when you see a child perform it on a 200lbs man because you can see all the ropes and pulleys for the move. You see the person who is supposed to be taking the move doing all the work.
The Canadian Destroyer started from Petey Williams. Still to this day, Petey does the best version of it and imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery here. Imitation is just kind of really, really annoying. Like, I just roll my eyes when someone does a Canadian Destroyer now, which is not the reaction you want when you’re flying in the air and spiking someone’s head into the ground with the full force of your weight. The last thing you want while committing actual murder is to have everyone watching change the channel. Probably?
1. Anything Off the Turnbuckle
When you ask someone if they want to see a guy fly from 5-6’ into the air and land on either another person or an object to their own death, the answer shouldn’t be, “I dunno, how many flips do they do first?” But that’s 2020.
There was once a time when someone going to the turnbuckle meant that match was about to be over/someone was about to trip and fall. Either way, you want to watch. Now, when someone goes to the turnbuckle, it means that everyone inside the ring needs to stop what they’re doing and watch the guy climbing to the top because everyone has to be ready for a flying crossbody and no one knows who or when or why or seriously why.
When “Macho Man” Randy Savage was going to the turnbuckle for a flying elbow drop it was a thing of beauty, but now you have to do a double-flippy-twisty-do to keep the fans’ attention. People jumping off the turnbuckle has been so oversaturated with nonsense that it is not even a big deal when someone commits possible suicide. Someone flying off a platform to their own doom should be a thing of beauty regardless of who is doing it, but not anymore.
