IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #477
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Thoughts on AEW: WrestleDream 2024 LIVE
1. Hello everyone. I’m going to be updating this throughout the day as well as the event. I am going to try to spend a majority of the event watching and getting lost in the show rather than typing, given the potential magnitude of the moments we may see at the end, but I will do my best, and what I don’t get to, I will write about after the show. I have a long, early flight home as well, so this column will be a two-day project, more or less, and also may be out of sequential order at times, given the practicality of what transpires against when I can write.
2. My hotel room has two USB ports and neither of them work. This is going to require some maneuvering before I get in that Lyft this afternoon to head to the Tacoma Dome. I do have one battery pack but who knows what they’ll let you take in a venue anymore. Maybe not even my pocket keyboard.
3. The universe is trying to kill me with its timing. The Cleveland baseball team has a winner-take-all game 5 playoff game, Ohio State football, ranked number 2, faces Oregon, ranked number 3, and WrestleDream with the potentially last match of someone I’ve been following more than half my life. Until yesterday, all of these things were happening at the exact same time, but mercifully one of them got moved up. Pacific time rules, I get to watch the playoffs at 10am. Inject that Tom Hamilton commentary directly into my veins, and if you‘re not from northeast Ohio, you may not understand that. Trust me, look up Tom Hamilton’s Best Calls on YouTube, even if you don’t like baseball. In another life, this guy could’ve been a prime-JR level of wrestling commentator.
4. I will be attending this show with my partner. This is the only day I get to spend with them between August 9th and New Year’s Eve, so add that on top of the emotional Molotov cocktail that is my heart today.
5. AEW, you better add Stat/Kamille at the very least and bump one of the undercard matches to Zero Hour. There is no excuse for only one women’s match on the main show. Do better.
6. If you don’t know, I am an extremely active hiker at this point. Part of the reason I don’t update as much as I’d like is because I spend much more time in the wilderness than I used to. Right now, it’s 6am Pacific time, but that means it’s 8 my time, but it’s still dark. I’ve usually got at least half of my daily minimum in by now. It’s still dark and it’s not the safest metro in the world, so I don’t particularly wish to go galavanting quite yet. But I’m restless as hell because of it. Gotta get all that stuff in before my partner picks me up and the day officially begins. That’s like six hours from now though.
7. I spent the flight listening to Danielson’s autobiography on Libby, While any book that’s not by Mick Foley with a WWE logo on it tends to need a huge grain of salt, this one included, I am enjoying it so far. It seemed appropriate for the event, at the very least. It’s not Mox’s book, but then again, what is?
8. The Ospreay/Ricochet/Takeshita threatens to continue Ospreay‘s ridiculous streak of potential matches of the year tonight. And as much as I adore the Golden Retriever of Wrestling, I really think Takeshita needs this win more than either of the other two combined. Ospreay needs bumped up to the world title picture, especially in the extremely likely event that heel Mox wins the belt tonight.
9. There are a few matches I admit I don’t particularly care about. Zero Hour isn’t inspiring me to get there an hour earlier when this will likely go to 9 Pacific Time as it is. Good for Hologram and Beast Mortos getting on the card though. I really like the way those two have been built up, and they both deserve their flowers. I’d rather Mortos not continue to be on the losing end of almost everything, but I suppose that is tradition for most non-Hologram luchadors in AEW, much to my dismay. I do love and prefer this company over the alternative, but there are considerable things I wish they’d do better.
10. I’m expecting Bobby Lashley to make his debut in some form with whatever the Swerve return is tonight. Does Swerve end up feuding with the Hurt SyndicorpLLC, or does he join them? Maybe on Dynamite if there’s a heel turn and an alliance formed, in which case poor Nana, but I doubt they’d have Swerve turn heel in Tacoma of all places. I’m intrigued.
11. I doubt very much Jack Perry is dropping the title to Shibata. JP’s angst is better than the Beethoven-scored character he had before the incident at All In. I want to see Shibata rejoin Hook and Samoa Joe for a good trios run. I felt like that went through a conveniently-placed wall right as it was gaining momentum.
12. I miss Toni Storm, who has become my favorite current wrestler/character by far in the last year. I don’t expect to see her return tonight, but one can dream, even WrestleDream if you will. I’ve never seen Okada in person either, so among all the first times I will be seeing someone live tonight, that is one I’m disappointed does not appear to be booked, but again, this show looks long enough as it is. With an 8am flight tomorrow morning and the very likely drawn -out emotional conclusion to this show, time management will be a factor this evening.
13. I have stayed at this particular hotel in the Seattle metro area more times than I can count in the last three years. It’s the same one where I lost my voice entirely and watched AEW: Revolution 2024 with my partner earlier this year. That was their first AEW PPV experience, and their second will be tonight. They only watch when I’m out here, but I keep them up to date. They do like it, they’re not just humoring me, but they’re as busy as I am, so some things just don’t take priority.
14. I’m pretty sure Darby wins in Washington as well. I really liked his promo with Brody, he’s gotten so much better at those as of late.
15. I need MXM to get aid from another former legend of RETRIBUTION to ensure I don’t have to watch the Acclaimed win another match. I don’t care what it takes, make it happen.
16. Willow is so ridiculously over, and I really hope they pull the trigger tonight. Mariah was in the best storyline of the year, but with no follow-up, it’s fallen a bit flat. Unless they’re stalling until Toni returns and/or Grand Slam in Australia, in which case… I hope it gets better from here and doesn’t become like Jade stalling until Stat is ready to return and end the winning streak.
17. Still Dark, and not in the former YouTube show kinda way. I’m so restless.
18. I have lived in Minnesota for more than seven years now, and I still have yet to understand their lack of diners. Maybe it’s the east coast bias, having been raised in an area that had more greasy spoon diners than anyone could ever hope to patronize, but Minnesota just hasn’t jumped on that bandwagon, outside of a couple Mickey’s locations that are novelties as much as anything. Out here, there’s a diner that reminds me of being home back east. Minnesota seems much more about the more expensive breakfast outings, which don’t get me wrong are wonderful, but sometimes you just need a place you can picture yourself rolling up in at 2am, ordering a coffee, smoking a clove, and eating some pancakes to soak up the mistakes you made earlier in the evening. That experience may be very much dated, given how much time has passed between when I did that on the regular and my current reflection, but at least at the diner out here, I can maintain most of the illusion, minus the time of day and the smoke. The pricier breakfast places in Minnesota are lovely, though I don’t partake on the regular because they’re usually insanely busy and crowded, but sometimes you just need to drop seven bucks on a diner breakfast and forget about things for a while. If you’re not from this particular niche desire, I apologize for wasting so much time waxing nostalgic about it. Four years of uni in Philly though, I killed a lot of time in greasy spoon diners.
19. Some people have speculated that Mox’s new attitude and allusions to a Hower Power (deep 1999 reference, not a typo) may be Shane McMahon. While I am not entirely averse to seeing him in AEW, I don’t think it fits the vibe. Then again, who thought Marina Shafir would be immersed so flawlessly? That Mox entrance theme though, something about that slow guitar and the nature of Mox’s character shift is just… chilling. (is it chillin’ like a villain if you actually are a villain? Another phrase to date myself, I’m sure)
20. This will be my third PPV event attended live, and first in seven years. I did a retrospective review of my first, Unforgiven 2003, once upon a time. The other one was TLC 2017, which I had to leave early because a bright light was pointed directly at us, right in our sight line to the ring, so the migraine that ensued kept us from seeing Kurt Angle smile like a dork in his Shield gear.
21. Apologies in advance for any weird typos I don’t catch. Autocorrect has managed to escalate another level of awfulness as of late and seems to change words three or four back at times. It just tried to change Shield gear into Shield fear when I was writing “advance” so who knows what this bullshit is anymore?
22. Wow, this place is huge!
23. Sitting about twenty feet from RJ! Perfect view of everything. I’m so excited for this show.
24. The Outrunners theme got a huge pop, and oh they’re with OC and KOR. Apathetic time rockets galore!
25. The Premier Athletes again? Did they start their own Conglomeration-sized vortex?
26. Two ten punches in the corner with those jazz cup pants? Oh god, it smells like 1992! Oh wait, 30 count. More? 31! Holy shit chant. Good JBL I love wrestling.
27. Team Goof Troop wins and it was an absolute delight. Also that waterfall/Rainier set design is gorgeous!
28. How dare you tease me with the promise of Okada?!
29. We have a gremlin! And cool guys don’t look at infernos! Pretty sure there was a wildfire on the screen there too. Considering where we are, that’s heel heat on multiple levels.
30. “Jay White, you’re just okay!” PNW-worthy insult yelling right there!
31. The camera on screen went off right before the ramp move happened, “we can’t see” chant breaks out. And not just because of the blinding lights shining at us.
32. Jay White gets the win while Hangman sells the knee. The gremlin comes down to be a gremlin, as one should do when you have a gremlin. Oh, this fire, this fringe. It burns, burns, burns! Surprised to see Hangman take a clean loss.
33. Women’s title match going on second again? I hope Stat makes it on later. Also, Willow!
34. Vintage t-shirt sighting: Get the •F• out.
35. Willow eats mat on a missed moonsault. That didn’t look fun. Willow gets out of a pinfall attempt though. And that seems to finally remind this crowd that there is a match happening.
36. Willow took a nasty bump off the top rope. Mariah gets another win with a Storm Zero. Match really picked up in the second half.
37. I feel so privileged to get to see Shibata on this show, especially given who is in the main event. But we’ve also gotta get the Angst Bus fired up, so…
38. I swear, someone is making everyone stand up in this row every two minutes.
39. Damn, Shibata’s chops have audible reverb. And we saw Switchblade earlier!
40. Schmoz finish, Shibata somehow unknowingly pins himself. You would think the person who is Wrestler, The would be more aware than that.
41. Danny came out because he heard someone was being angsty and said you don’t want none of this smolder,
42. MJF comes out for an even angstier state down before Jack Perry says “the Price is Wrong, bitch.”
43. Making a Seattle SuperSonics joke makes him undecipherable for several seconds.
44. We’ve got another surprise return, Adam Cole, bay bay! In just a few months, the entire situation has flipped on its head yet again and we’re pretty much back to where we started. Welcome to wrestling!
45. Up next, who can follow multiple surprise returns? Why, the triple threat that’s trying to kill me, of course!
46. Takeshita is having none of anyone’s shit tonight and his face shows it. This is electric already.
47. Chanting for the desire of fables when one is already there? Okay then. That’s a choice, I guess.
48. That has been an awfully long table nap, Takeshita. I’m suspicious now.
49. Takeshita throwing multiple forearms right in the fuck, so many to pick just one, it’s impossible:
50. Okay, “use the table” is a much more appropriate chant. Holy shit, this match is incredible. Even the slip-ups end up coming out okay. This is awesome indeed.
51. Takeshita wins the International title; and well deserved. Kyle Fletcher chooses violence. What. A. Match.
52. The place just exploded for Swerve, after what we’ve just seen, Tacoma still has energy. What a blast this has been. Moment of truth though, MVP is around somewhere.
53. That was a long segment; especially for a PPV, but in this case and with that context, I don’t think anyone here minded.
54. It was also a good buffer between matches, considering Beast Mortos and Hologram is next.
55. Vintage shirt sighting: WrestleMania 19 baseball jersey.
56. Excessive flashing in Mortos’s entrance, I’m seeing vapor trails.
57. Hologram gets a quick first fall, and Mortos comes back to give him the HARNS, which I believe makes him the first to pin Hologram in AEW regardless of the final result. This is a ton of fun.
58. This is incredible. What more can I say? Vintage shirt sighting: OG Austin 3:16, no giant fed logo.
59. Hologram wins; not much of a surprise but Mortos got put over pretty huge in a big spot.
60. Someone bout to get stabbed, Darby is up next.
61. Well, it took about eight seconds for Darby to get thrown into a thing. By the belt loops too, who is the real hero?
62. I’ve got another professional contrarian sitting behind me, who is smarter than everyone else because he cheers for all the heels and has to announce it every four seconds. There’s always one.
63. I think Brody saw Darby’s match with Takeshita and said “I can suplex more than that. I can be plain disrespectful.”
64. I’m getting really tired, especially after Mortos’s flashy flash.
65. Speaking of disrespectful, a bump from the top to the steps; and a coffin drop to boot. That’s just co-signing some massive chiropractic bills.
66. Darby wins to a huge pop after the closest non-countout I’ve ever seen.
67. Oh right. There’s a tag title match. Joy.
68. How many grandmothers’ jewelry boxes did you raid to get that many pearls, Mr. Jackson?
69. Private Party should’ve taken TLC’s advice. Don’t go chasing waterfalls, because it keeps taking out the screen during outside the ring shenanigans.
70. I can’t hear anything over the sound of Nick Jackson’s pants.
71. This match is really good, I just don’t have the energy left to care about it. Knowing what’s happening in the main event, I’m going to try to make it to the end of that but I am so low on energy at this point.
72. Wow this place woke up after the kick out from the BTE Trigger.
73. Young Bucks win. I continue not caring about the tag team champions.
74. Oh god, there’s a Jericho match too? JBLdammit, I must’ve done something in a past life to have warranted this punishment.
75. Big Bill deserves better.
76. Vintage shirt sighting: NWO Wolfpac.
77. I wish these two matches had been second and third instead of where they are. Right now this card seems front-heavy, but with the obviously huge main event. I don’t know, I’m just very tired.
78. Mark Briscoe used a chair to vault over the top rope, and I couldn’t tell from this angle, but I think his feet went through a table. Not sure.
79. Jericho does the Jay Driller, and I think it’s fair to say, he’s done it now, he’s gone and made a big mistake…
80. Jericho doesn’t win. Good. So, since Jericho lost; that means there’s only, what, eight months left in this feud now?
81. They’re doing the gimmick with the music continuing to play. Get your money’s worth, TK.
82. Professional contrarian doing the opposite of the chants. I’m shocked.
83. I will add more later, when I start getting really irritated with other fans. It’s time to go. What an environment to experience though, I’m privileged to have been here.
84. Okay, I’m through the nightmare that is SeaTac airport, so I’m gonna try to start back where I was when I had to leave last night now that I’ve seen the end of the show. It’s airport and plane WiFi so it may be inconsistent, but I will keep updating this throughout the day. I hope this day-long experience has been a different style of column that works on the occasion of such an event.
85. I found it extremely hard to enjoy the match itself. Not in a quality way but just because I could tell immediately what they were doing, and while I am 100 percent certain this is the way he wanted to go out, he made it difficult on everyone who knows that he needs neck surgery.
86. I have a few video clips I took before I left, and the Professional Contrarian can be heard yelling “NO!” During the YES chants. Because of course you can.
87. I thought Wheeler would cost him the match, but I like better what they did, especially with Kyle Fletcher using the most devastating form of stealth in the history of professional wrestling earlier in the night to cost Ospreay… The dreaded HOODIE! It’s like an invisibility cloak that rolled a 20. (My dear partner who plays DND, did I do it right?)
88. I think they’re setting up Darby Allin and Orange Cassidy to be two of the strongest contenders against this Alliance of Elimination. They kept cutting to the two of them for long shots, which can’t be an accident. Given the history of OC with Mox, as well as what they’ve set up with Darby, I am fine with that. But holy shit does the rest of the AEW locker room take its sweet ass time to try to end this. It takes Pillmanizing the neck AFTER a “STOP MOVING!” Plastic bag suffocation? But apparently the bravest people on the roster are… Private Party and Jeff Jarrett? I can’t say that’s who I expected to be the Ken Shamrock of trying to interrupt the Black Wedding or whatever the hell it was called in 1999, but yes I remember that damn storyline too well.
89. That was easily the most brutal ending to a PPV I’ve ever seen, and I’m admittedly glad I didn’t fight through how tired, overstimulated, and exhausted I was any more than I did. I wanted to hear Final Countdown one more time. But they did what they did so well that you could hear a pin drop in that place, and even a meager “Thank you Bryan” chant barely gained any energy. Trust me, if you were there, that crowd was on fire for most of the night. And in a building that cavernous, that’s saying something. It’s very spread out, and I imagine if they condensed the building, that crowd would’ve seemed even louder.
90. I know I’m old and cranky, but holy shit, if you’re going to get up and make everyone get up in the row to let you out, and someone gets up before you, can you not wait 20 seconds to make everyone do it again, and just also leave while they’re up? I swear, people in our row were challenging us to hit our daily squat counts.
91. So, MxM didn’t recruit Dijak, but Rico? What a pull! But with Billy Gunn being involved, that makes some level of sense.
92. That Outrunners theme slaps hard in person. I love how over they’ve gotten so quickly.
93. There has got to be a better way than this to board planes. American transport, how do we make this so fucking difficult? CGP Grey, save us all.
94. Aziz Ansari once upon a time had a bit where he was on a plane and he sniffled once and the guy next to him said “are you gonna blow your nose or am I gonna have to listen to you have the sniffles for six fucking hours?” One sniffle, overreaction. The guy next to me right now who has sniffled every ten seconds for the last ten minutes? Yeah, I’m cranky and tired but also, come on.
95. Only one women’s match, and the recent trend of going back to only one women’s match on Dynamite, is unacceptable. You’re telling me not one of those matches last night could’ve been bumped to put on Stat or anyone else? Not cool.
96. Boarding late, because of course we are. The airport isn’t a miserable enough experience, it also can’t be on time either.
97. So, does Wheeler Yuta go back to being the little shit who takes pitfalls for the group? He was getting huge chants when he was the one who wouldn’t turn. I’m not sure where he goes from here. But I said on Tuesday that they were setting it up, I think, with the “I was getting my ass kicked and you were too busy YESing.”
98. Fletcher too is another guy who seems ready to break out, but does staying with the status quo help that? Or does it become a Wardlow situation where we drag it out for two years?
99. I feel like Jay White succeeded with what they tried to do with face MJF. Switchblade is still who he is, he’s too damn smart to fall for typical heel shit. And also, he knows how to powder away from finishing moves constantly. I’m not sure if I mentioned that during the match itself, but just in case, that was one of, if not my favorite, piece of psychology on the entire show.
100. It is worth noting in retrospect that this was the second consecutive heavy heels-winning show. And with that extremely downer ending, Full Gear needs at least a little bit of catharsis.
101. I was really surprised with the lack of even a threat of Christian Cage. With as much as he was included in the buildup for the main event, nary a whisper of father talk.
102. I love Jerry Lynn, but that “I’m the voice of inspiration” moment seemed a bit out of nowhere. Wasn’t the last time we saw him when he brought back RVD to fight Jack Perry? Also. Hasn’t OC been trying for a while now? Wasn’t Orange the guy who defended his title so much that he was too injured to keep going? Hook also, like… thanks for being there? I think this won’t matter in the long run, as it was a moment of endorsement that will carry weight with that last image of the show.
103. I only heard commentary on the end of the show, but major props to Nigel for selling it in a way that almost redeemed him. Pretty much being like “I’ve envisioned this moment but this isn’t how I thought it would go.” Fantastic moment in a very sad ending, it sold the gravity of the situation in A-plus fashion.
104. I think it’d be easy to give the HAM to MJF, but I think the glee and joy that Swerve did the will he/won’t he promo takes it for this show.
