IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #434
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Thoughts on AEW: Forbidden Door 2 – June 25th, 2023
1. It’s the third night of this weekend of wrestling, and the pre-show was fun for what it was, especially the last match. I hope Adam Cole feels better soon.
2. MJF asked for the Bork Laser spot, and he received. We’re opening with Tanahashi vs. MJF. The smarmy troll is up to his usual button-pushing with a robe that says “New Japan is an Indie.” Ohhhh, them’s be fightin’ words!
3. I thought the same last year, but I love that they have announcers from both promotions. Roberts is going for the gold with his held vowels tonight.
4. MJF opens up as if he were acting out the story later while exaggerating his enemy as they’re showered with dueling chants. MJF decides to bail, but his inner Marty McFly won’t tolerate having his courage questioned. Good thing he didn’t run into little Josie.
5. Kitchen sink, double bird, and a young fan screaming at him above the rest of the white noise, welcome to Forbidden Door 2, everyone.
6. MJF holds the ropes, and does his own version of “I have til 5, ref.” A “what are you gonna do, dipshit?” Bryce is a real one and high kicks his JBLdamn hand. Someone did their DDPYoga today.
7. Tanahashi, like last night, struggles to get his footing on the top rope. Nice continuity from his match with Swerve on Collision.
8. MJF gets the upper hand and does his usual schtick of taunting in the most overconfident way possible. Tanahashi starts to respond and come back, as the power of air guitars is strong. Excellent.
9. The old tricks work like a charm, and it isn’t much of a surprise that the diamond ring came into play, but it’s not a surprise that MJF retained either. Great opening match for a show that also includes Omega/Osprey and Danielson/Okada, among many others.
10. Wasting no time, the Owen Hart tourney match is next, and I’m sure Punk’s reaction will be quite similar to last night’s, which is good news because he was clearly enjoying the hell out of it. And yep, it picked up right where it left off in all manners of speaking. I can only imagine the atmosphere in person. There is a vocal contingent of Ride or Dies though, so it’s by no means unanimous.
11. We get two tickets to the Pec show with some of the opening moves. Not what I was expecting, but they’re going with it. Punk gets chopped over the barricade and into likely several spilled drinks. That has to suck, stadium food is expensive as hell.
12. Kojima is almost face by default, and Punk continues to work the crowd with both his moves and demeanor. It’s working to perfection as well, and like the first match, has the “big match” feel, though I feel many throughout the evening will retain that vibe due to the context and circumstances of this kind of unique event.
13. Punk takes the machine gun chops to multiple huge ovations. It’s a very different style of match from the opener, but exactly what you’d expect under these conditions with these two. Punk takes a ton of time to bask in the glory/heat, whichever you will call it, before coming off the top rope. I’ve also never seen the Mongolian chops used so spitefully.
14. Unlike some other recent comebacks, including Punk’s first, they are not playing up ring rust at all. Granted, that’s been helped by a few multiple-man matches, but all the same, he doesn’t look like he’s been gone for a year. Kojima counters the GTS after Punk parades him around in the fireman’s carry position. Taunting has consequences! Shortly thereafter, he does hit the GTS near the ropes, and holds the arm and leg away from them. Nice touch.
15. Another phrase I didn’t think I’d ever write before this week, Punk does Spiteful Push-ups to piss off the crowd further. Punk then kneels near his fallen opponent, says a few things not picked up by the mic, and raises his arm. Even those in heel mode have respect. The brackets indicate that we’ll be getting either Punk/Strong or Punk/Joe, and neither of those are anything less than excellent options.
16. Wow, Orange Cassidy added lethargic pyro to the entrance. I didn’t even know that was possible, but there you have it. I could picture OC also working the pyro board and just being like “meh. ::rocket::.”
17. Three championship belts held in this match, only one will change hands. I also have no doubt that the tag match with these four involved recently will be a great preview of what to expect here. The apathetic kicks turn into each of them throwing his foot back and forth. Garcia tries for an early submission win and Shibata kicks him hard. Damn, this match is not fucking around. Garcia tries to do the OC kicks, gets pushed away. Shibata and ZSJ hit back and forth, and they keep shoving Garcia away. Garcia responds by… dancing. The hips increase ferocity each time, because it’s the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane. Somehow all of this makes sense.
18. I know they say that the title “leveled up” from the AA title into the International title, but let’s be honest: it was a correction into what it should’ve been in the first place.
19. ZSJ and Shibata continue having their chop off while the other two try to lock them in holds. This match keeps raising the stakes of ridiculousity and I’m loving every second of it.
20. ZSJ makes OC punch himself in the ribs, missing only a “quit hitting yourself, quit hitting yourself” in levels of villainy.
21. OC and Shibata each Orange Punch each other, though OC’s hurts significantly more due to the accumulating injuries OC keeps wrestling with. Could this be the night that someone ends this reign, one of the best surprises of recent memory?
22. The tricks OC has used to win prior matches keep falling through, so he’s probably gonna have to find a new way to get out of this one. ZSJ is very yelly, though I can’t quite understand what he’s saying. While ZSJ has OC in a submission stretch, Shibata kicks him right in the middle of the back. That probably got an adjustment or two. This match is awesome, and the match within a match of Shibata/ZSJ is awesome within itself too.
23. OC takes advantage of Shibata kicking the hell out of Garcia, and sneaks out yet another victory. Orange Cassidy: Ultimate Opportunist. Edge would be proud. I think everyone knew Garcia was taking the fall, no matter who won, but what a fantastic time that was regardless.
24. The three champions have a face…. off. Pretty sure ZSJ says “so long, dickheads” or something of that nature. That leaves Shibata and OC shaking hands a year after Shibata made the surprise save. This show so far is living up to the standard set last year, to say the absolute very least.
25. Wasting no time whatsoever, because everyone knows that’s how the pace goes by this point, Jungle Boy has his match with Sanada next. Hook was nice enough to come along because there’s no way JB’s going to turn on him eventually. None whatsoever.
26. JB continues to either be really close to getting a world title victory, or thinking that he is. Either way, Sanada is having none of it. I know this crowd energy cannot be fully maintained over the course of a show this long, but they really brought it tonight so far.
27. Sanada basically ties JB in a knot that he struggles to get out of while Sanada takes the opportunity to take in the adulation of the moment. I love wrestling.
28. I cannot imagine how much Taz must love getting to be in the position he is with his son right down there, but even more so, how he manages to say so relatively neutral in the process. That is a level of nuance that I don’t think many in his position could pull off.
29. I don’t know if subtle is the right word to use by comparison to the other matches, especially considering I don’t mean it diminutively, but that’s the way it feels. These two are telling a story in the ring that differs from the others we’ve seen so far. Not in a bad way, just in a noticeable one.
30. I feel like Taz has his own commentary bingo card or something, where he has to work in “Jones” at the end of a move at least once a show. I don’t know what it means, and yet I still find it endearing for some reason. “Poison-rana Jones,” that’s what was said tonight.
31. Sanada gets the win after a moonsault press that I don’t think the crowd was expecting, it felt almost anti-climactic somehow. “Hook obviously not happy with that result,” they say as he has the same facial expression as he always does. They hold on Hook helping JB out for a long time, and shit, there it is! JB observes his surroundings, drops to his knees, and then mocks the entrance dance. The whole crowd chants “you fucked up,” and Taz, letting the objectivity drop just for a second, “oh, you sure did.” Damn, knew it was coming and it was still amazing, though Hook sold that lariat like an act of brutality. The crowd chants for Taz to get involved. I believe it also sets up Tony coming out to replace him. I’m very interested to see where/if this goes anywhere.
32. What a show this is where the BCC/etc vs. The Elite/etc is right in the middle of the show. Talk about star power.
33. I got to see Ishii at my first AEW show in Chicago last November, and even from the distance of the top of the lower level, he looks absolutely terrifying. “Stone Pitbull” is one of the most accurate monikers I’ve ever seen.
34. The BCC and friends come out to a theme I don’t recognize, so it’s a different vibe than the Ricky Vaughn entrance, but it still works. They take the time to explain the beef between Claudio/Eddie, which is good assuming people haven’t been following.
35. Claudio is such a heel, and I love it. Eddie wants to face off with him immediately, but then Claudio tags out, which makes Eddie be all “nah” and tag Hangman in. The crowd turns into an indecipherable amalgamation of sounds. Someone holds up a sign that says “lazy booking.” Um… kay. Of all the opinions I’ve heard about wrestling recently, that’s definitely one of them.
36. I don’t know how Konosuke merely turning heel and getting some leather increased his badass levels exponentially, but it’s worked. I’ve been a big fan since the first time I saw him, but the difference is undeniable. Takeshita and Ishii keep trying to crash into each other like it’s going to power the building or create the energy to go back in time, and it’s awesome.
37. The next chapter of the match, Eddie and Mox get tagged in at the same time, and that’s a staredown worth the trope if I’ve ever seen one. Somehow by mere coincidence of camera angle, there’s an Alexa Bliss doll right in the middle of the two, which has some unintentional implications I don’t want to think about.
38. The melee breaks out as Mox and Kingston keep smacking the shit out of each other, as do the high spots and dives. It finally gets broken up by Claudio being a shit. Great phrase from commentary, “Eddie Kingston keeps score.” I believe you. Mox sells the intensity of the fight like Sam Beckett just suddenly leaped into him, and Claudio helps him out as if Mox is just muttering “oh boy, I’m a wrestler.”
39. After a lot of straight-up intensity throughout the show so far, this has turned into the fast-paced chaos. Despite the “lazy booking” claims of one, the show has been phenomenally put together so far, and we’re only halfway done.
40. Takeshita comes off the ropes, and if there has ever been an instance of someone punching someone right in the fuck, Adam Page just pulled it off on that comeback. Not satisfied with that, he then does a shooting star press to him on the outside. Wow.
41. The Young Bucks get their turn for quick moves and commentary with Takeshita, their taunts and insults quite audible. Takeshita them German suplexes both of them, holy shit these two teams are going for the “follow that” to the next match. Eddie’s “conflicted” mindspace nearly cost them the match because he saved Mox from taking a hit. The two who were punching the shit out of each other a few minutes ago? Because it’s Eddie Kingston, it makes sense.
42. There’s a huge big swing, which only continues to remind me that Claudio once got punished and told not to use that anymore because he had the nerve to get it over, and about eight people break up the pinfall attempt at the same time. Takeshita also takes a powerbomb from Page that looks devastating with impact. This is unreal.
43. Yuta counters a Buckshot Lariat with a release German Suplex, and Ishii pins Yuta with a brainbuster. Yuta takes another fall, so I’m sure he’ll have to pay his penance later. Wow. What a freaking match. The Elite now have 2-1 up, so this is probably not over. Eddie was on the winning side so of course he gets into fights with his teammates.
44. Perpetual happiness abound, Willow vs. Toni Storm is next. Hopefully this is better received than Toni’s match at Forbidden Door last year. I wish a Willow entrance preceded things I don’t want to do throughout the week, because it would make anything a little bit easier by association.
45. The Outcasts have traded in their green for red plaid. When in Canada…
46. So much yelling, there’s hope that one day this feud may progress somewhere, sometime, somehow. You’d think after several months of this, maybe when the Outcasts had a three-on-one presence, the originals might have someone out with them too? They somehow continue to be surprised by the presence of shenanigans despite it happening every single time.
47. The yells and other sounds all over this match are fantastic. Willow gets tripped up by the presence of the spray can, and the ref seems mystified by it… again, after months of this happening consistently, but sure. They get kicked out after only about 87 interference spots.
48. Toni almost gets a fall out of a failed Willow moonsault, but the match progresses more than 30 seconds after the ejection, so that’s good. They’re giving this time, if nothing else.
49. Willow gets Toni in a submission, and Toni uses some Mox lessons and bites her knee to get out of it. I never thought wrestling was so bite-centric but the last year has taught me otherwise.
50. Toni pulls the ref into the way of a corner charge, and Toni ends up sneaking out a win that way. More yelling ensues when the Outcasts come back. We see Skye Blue and Britt Baker watching on a screen, disappointed. If only they’d been able to be out there with her or something to be a balance.
51. Ospreay with Callis and “military grade security” against Omega is next, and what a stacked card this is. The commentators use the term “spoiled” in a good way to describe the experience as wrestling fans, and I can’t argue with it.
52. Omega’s entrance is somehow more subdued than usual, but when you usually get the Michael Jordan-style entrance, I suppose it has to happen sometimes.
53. The “big fight” atmosphere is back, and these two are going to slow burn the intensity on this one, I have a feeling. The crowd has many various back and forth chants. They have to follow up on a match many called one of the best they’d ever seen, so it’s going to be interesting.
54. Good on the commentators for telling the deep beats of the story as things get started. Again, something on which they improved from last year’s Forbidden Door season.
55. Don Callis is such a shit, he attempted to grab Omega’s foot as he hit the ropes. I don’t think he caught it, but intention is what matters, and it makes the super dooper top secret military grade security use their masked bald doom to prevent a chase. This gets Callis ejected, but there are still two out there who probably aren’t objective parties.
56. The ridiculous moves start appearing, slowly at first, but they become more and more frequent as the match builds. Omega hanging on the top rope while Ospreay pulls off a shooting star press to his back, and then an Oscutter on the apron to follow up… Wow. Then Opsreay throws Omega’s head on, apply directly to the announce table. Pretty sure that gets a “still a wanker” chant, and just as I type that, it’s confirmed. There’s some… action with the blood, crowd chants “you sick fuck,” Ospreay with a little nod and a “yep.” HAM likely over right there.
57. Ospreay takes a good long while setting up the V-trigger, while Arn is somewhere yelling to pull out the glock quicker. Ospreay gets into an argument with some kids, then steals the Canadian flag from another fan, and has a little towel action with it. You already had the HAM sewn up, you didn’t need to increase the odds. And yet.
58. Omega gets the flag back, uses it as a hangman spot, and then gives it to the kids Ospreay was arguing with it, and it looks like he makes those kids’ entire year. Omega hits the knee to Ospreay on the barricade, then checks with all the fans to make sure they’re okay. What a king.
59. Okay, the Bane cosplayers at ringside look way too ominous to just be there for the sake of it. Ospreay’s got color now too, and it’s a gusher. Mox didn’t bleed tonight, so they have to make up for the quota somewhere. Omega follows it up with a tornado taunt and a DDT on top of the side of the ring steps. They’re making every move count on a devastating level.
60. As more blood is in the ring than a Gangrel match, Ospreay powers the whole way out of a submission into a powerbomb, and the speed is about to dramatically increase, I think. You just feel everything they’re doing. Ospreay’s Spanish Fly is the best rendition of the move I’ve ever seen. At this point, the people are just cheering the match itself as a whole.
61. As if Ospreay realized that, he pulls out the Sharpshooter to correct that notion really quick. The speed is brought back down after the brief burst of speed, and the story continues.
62. After a surge of Omega punching and kicking necks and backs, he gets one of the closest nearfalls you will ever see. Ospreay then tries to use the turnbuckle cam for leverage, and a time limit announcement is made. That doesn’t seem to happen except in time-limit draws, but if this match goes another half hour with more to come still tonight, I’d be very surprised. Ospreay then gets some serious airtime on the Sky Twister Press. A top rope Oscutter still isn’t quite enough to bring it to an end. I think they’re taking the “fight forever” chant seriously.
63. Just then, Callis decides ejections don’t matter and comes back out. And the ref sees this happen and… does nothing. Way to do your job, ref. The pace comes back to them slowly bleeding at each other, and Callis’ presence can’t mean anything good for Omega.
64. Callis comes into the ropes to grab Ospreay to protect him. Again, the ref does nothing. Callis distracts the ref for about eight minutes while he gives Ospreay a screwdriver. Ospreay hits several devastating moves to make it a formality, but somehow Omega just manages to drift his legs to the ropes. Callis still remains at ringside, so ejections mean absolutely nothing. Even as he’s halfway in the ring, the ref is just like “hey… stop it.”
65. Ospreay hits the V-Trigger and then the One-Winged Angel, the crowd goes deathly silent, but psych, another fake ending, Omega kicks out at one! What a pop! What a match! Omega shifts a One-Winged Angel into sliding it down to a German suplex. This is beyond ridiculous in the best way.
66. Ospreay drops Omega in some kind of Pedigree-like piledriver and it looks like he landed right on his fucking head. I don’t know how he kicked out after that, but it was terrifying. Ospreay finally wins and gets the title back after the ejected Callis was there for a solid ten minutes, but whatever. That was an amazing match, and that word doesn’t even begin to do it justice. I’m just really hoping Omega’s okay after that piledriver. It scared the hell out of me.
67. Jericho/Guevara/Murder Grandpa against Sting/Darby/Naito somehow has to follow that, and we’ve still got Okada/Danielson to go. It’s a long night and I don’t care.
68. The “slow taking off of entrance attire” portion of the match will be respected. This match is in a very difficult position of having to follow Ospreay/Omega, but they’re making it fun. Naito has a great deal of fun that even Sammy has to respect before Darby watches a slow tag to Murder Grandpa. Uh oh. It doesn’t go well.
69. Sting comes in for a long face-off with Suzuki, but Murder Grandpa tells him to fuck off. But then, finally, Jericho yells enough to get his wish. Nah, the brawl breaks out because Suzuki blindsides him. It turns into another face… off. A Stinger Splash by Jericho fails, and Sting gets in the Scorpion Death Lock. Guevara comes off the top with a cutter and nails him right on the head. They kill some time with a triple pose, and like the last match, I just hope someone’s okay. Sammy looks like he busted his mouth at some point.
70. Sting makes his way over to tag in Darby, and we get the Pillars going at it again. Naito gets a hot tag and spits in Jericho’s face. The crowd isn’t dead but they seem tired. Completely reasonable, especially with the main event coming up, but these six are not half-assing it either. Darby does two straight dives, and the second is countered by Jericho doing the Judas Effect, which looks devastating from midair like that.
71. We have someone in this match with a nickname involving the word Grandpa, and Sting is nearly ten years older than him. Weird to think about.
72. Jericho has to bully Sammy into going to the top to go 630 through Sting on the table to the outside. The sweet kids at ringside ask if they’re okay.
73. Jericho counters Naito’s finisher and somehow, Sting is already up and trying to get the Scorpion Death Lock back in. They’re going all out despite the placement on the card here, you have to appreciate it. With some non-tagging action by Sting, he helps Naito get the awkward pin on Murder Grandpa.
74. Jericho attacks Naito with a bat, which may not be followed up on like the fireball from last year, but what can ya do. Sting makes the save and the music hits super early like an Oscars speech waiting to get to the big award. Main event time, let’s see what two of the best can do after all of this tonight.
75. Finally, after waiting for this to happen for so long, Danielson brings back his old theme, it’s the Final Countdown! What a time to do it too! The crowd sings along at top volume, and even supposedly heel Danielson can’t help but smile.
76. The bell hasn’t even rung yet and there’s already a “holy shit!” chant. They definitely saved some energy for this after everything, and good on them. A few seconds later, a “this is awesome!” chant and nothing has even happened yet.
77. It’s like a comeback tour, they’re going through all the chants and references getting started here. Everyone seems to be having a blast, as well they should. That’s what wrestling’s supposed to be, after all.
78. Despite the prevalence of them already today, of course we’re gonna have a chop-off. These two can do whatever they damn well please.
79. “Methodical” is a good way to describe the pace. Much like the previous match of this style, they’re slowly building it up while telling a story, and they’re doing an incredible job of both doing that and yet making it distinct from the others.
80. They end up in the crowd, and I think most of the entire show has avoided that. It stands out when it hasn’t happened all night, and that’s by no means a complaint.
81. It might be cliche to say, but this feels like a match of the details. Every little thing they do matters between the two of them, and they’re building it between each other throughout the overall story. I’m not even sure how to describe it beyond that, it’s just perfectly fluid, sensical, brutal wrestling. For instance, a dive turns into a countered attempted Rainmaker turns into a forward running dropkick on the floor. Everything makes sense.
82. Just as I say that, there’s a tombstone from Okada to Danielson on the ramp, and I’m already primed to be nervous about such things tonight, and Danielson’s history on top of that doesn’t make it any easier. Maybe it’s all about getting worked with this knowledge, but I still don’t want anyone to get badly injured like that. Danielson is convulsing now. Outside of D’Von going through a table, you don’t see many people use that. Psych, it was a ruse, well played Danielson.
83. Ooh, after another failed Danielson finisher, he wants to break out the fucking heads kicked in, shit’s getting real.
84. Danielson brings back the “YES!” which he’s mostly avoided before tonight since being in AEW. We’re getting all the greatest hits tonight. It gets reversed though, and Danielson kicks out of the Rainmaker. No one finisher is winning after the insane amount of finisher kickouts we saw earlier tonight.
85. “Danielson’s right arm is a passenger at this point.” What a great metaphorical phrase.
86. Danielson somehow takes the LeBell lock and makes it even more brutal, and then follows it up with anvil elbows. Okada taps out of nowhere, and Danielson wins. I’m honestly shocked, I thought Okada would take this one. What a technical masterpiece that turned out to be. What a show, start to finish, top to bottom. I’m sure the usual vocal folx who hate everything will have their complaints, but this was one of the best nights of wrestling I’ve ever seen, without exaggeration. Hearing the old theme too just hits that nostalgia button on top of it. What a privilege to watch this show tonight.
1/4/23 – The Gunns
1/11/23 – Daddy Magic
1/13/23 – Danhausen
1/18/23 – Sonjay Dutt
1/20/23 – Stokely Hathaway
1/25/23 – Tony Schiavone
1/27/23 – Danhausen
2/1/23 – Jade Cargill
2/3/23 – Ethan Page
2/8/23 – MJF
2/10/23 – STIIIIIIING
2/15/23 – Ruby Soho
2/17/23 – Dustin Rhodes
2/22/23 – Chris Jericho
2/24/23 – Matt Hardy
3/1/23 – Big Bill
3/3/23 – Jungle Boy
3/5/23 – MJF
3/8/23 – Anthony Bowens
3/10/23 – Riho
3/15/23 – MJF/Darby Allin/Jungle Boy/Sammy Guevara
3/22/23 – STIIIIIING
3/29/23 – Juice Robinson
3/31/23 – Eddie Kingston
4/5/23 – MJF
4/7/23 – Darby Allin/Julia Hart
4/12/23 – STIIIIIIIIING
4/14/23 – 2.0/Biff Hager
4/19/23 – Sammy Guevara
4/26/23 – MJF
5/3/23 – Triple J/Mark Briscoe
5/5/23 – The Firm Deletion – All of it
5/10/23 – Chuck Taylor and Trent Baretta
5/17/23 – Toni Storm
5/24/23 – Jay White
5/28/23 – Darby Allin
5/31/23 – Juice Robinson
6/7/23 – MJF
6/9/23 – Ethan Page
6/14/23 – The cardboard cutout of Saraya
6/17/23 – CM Punk
6/21/23 – Adam Cole/MJF
6/23/23 – Anthony Bowens
6/24/23 – Powerhouse Hobbs
6/25/23 – Will Ospreay