IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #441
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Thoughts on AEW Dynamite – August 9th, 2023
1. It’s Wednesday night, etc. Home of my Buckeyes! We’re opening immediately with the JAS Mandatory meeting, minus Jericho to give the singing of “Judas” for the TV audience. The in-ring HAM potential here is considerable.
2. “Judas” is getting a much more subdued rendition than usual. Allying with Don Callis has its effects.
3. Garcia cuts Jericho off early and demands that he listen to them for a change. Look at fiery babyface hip twitch Danny! And he did choose Jericho when he had the chance to hang out with freaking Bryan Danielson. Garcia does the pelvic thrust and bails. I guess mandatory only goes so far.
4. Hey, Biff’s here too. He gave up the hat in protest, and just mentioning it gets a huge pop. Hager bails next. I like that this is highlighting each of them, given the relative proportion of mic time.
5. Jericho takes the mic to stop the bleeding to compliment everyone. Tay leaves next. Anna, like Danny, left some people behind in order to be there, and she leaves too. 2.0 and Sammy are the only ones remaining.
6. Ang runs down everything that he’s given Jericho, including using that nickname, and even Ang is turning up the fire and passion. Damn. Every one of them is shining here, but I also have a bad feeling that the Callis influence is going to lead to some not great things happening to them too.
7. Menard talks about buying a Jericho shirt with his first paycheck, and everything else that led to this moment. Again, damn. He gets why Kingston and KO hate his guts. Only Sammy remains.
8. Sammy brings up going to fight for the world title to fighting his battles, and thinking it was a two-way transaction. He says if Jericho works his shit out, maybe he’ll be there. Bravo, fkaJAS.
9. After the commercial, Jericho does the sad walk, and it’s an AEW interview with Renee, so it gets interrupted almost immediately. They delay the announcement about the family with Callis until next week, because surely that needed to wait longer.
10. Recap of FTR challenging the Young Bucks at Wembley. Now it’s time for the Bucks’ match against the Hardys. One has a marquee match and the other doesn’t, I wonder who will win this one… Honestly, I was surprised back at Double or Nothing when the Hardys won the previous encounter, but here we are.
11. I can imagine that, no matter how big they’ve gotten or how long they’ve wrestled, it’s still a thrill for the Bucks to be in the ring with the Hardys. Hell, any team that grew up watching them, for that matter. The fact that both the Hardys are still wrestling after the shit they were asked to do, not just at the TLC matches but the random ladder, cage, table TV matches they were asked to do on top of that.
12. I’m glad we just get to watch a regular wrestling match, rather than the Double or Nothing encounter. Jeff’s condition in a majority of that match was my primary concern, and it’s not fun to watch big spots when that’s the case. I watched that show in a theatre, which was a fun experience overall, though I haven’t done it again since. Maybe for Wembley…
13. Other than that match with MJF, Ethan Page has mostly gotten TV time by being associated with this group. But you can see him in the background being super into the match, and good on him for making the most of what he gets. Anything that gets Ethan Page on TV is a good thing to me.
14. Can’t help but think that one of the best matches of the entire Invasion angle, both of them are here tonight, and that match was over 21 years ago. What is time, even?
15. The Young Bucks get the win, as was pretty much expected by the challenge laid down. They shake hands and hug in the ring, which is nice to see. Cutler sprays them down in a non-heel way, which is a thing, apparently.
16. The Bucks say “FTR,” and speak their name and they shall appear. They’re not facing Adam Cole and MJF, so they (probably) won’t get booed this time. We do the four-way staredown, similar to other encounters with notable tag teams, and the crowd chants that it’s awesome for them just standing there. The Bucks are making short sentences today, and just say “all in.” It’s true, that is the name of the sign in the corner. We can’t have a big match without looking at the big sign. It won’t count otherwise.
17. We flash back to previous women’s matches, and like the original All In, there will be a four-way match and Toni uses the sometimes-present rematch clause to get one of the spots. More recap, this time of the main event of Wembley. This show sure has gotten more recap-heavy lately, but selling a show this huge, I suppose it’s inevitable. At least it’s not completely dominating the show.
18. AEW’s HAMmiest Team has another segment for an evening of debauchery in shorts. They’re going to… a trampoline park? Damn, don’t most non-sanctioned wrestling matches start this way?
19. Adam Cole freaks out excitedly over the stuff the place has, but MJF isn’t happy until he hears there’s dodgeball. AC summons his inner Kel Mitchell and shows off how high he can jump. Meanwhile, MJF goes Billy Madison on a bunch of kids and owns them in dodgeball to epic choral music. A little girl flips them off. If you can dodge an MJF, you can dodge a ball. Cliffhanger ending, I don’t think it went well for her. Damn, first Christian’s daughter getting heeled on and now this…
20. Another recap, goodness. At least it shows the parking lot brawl, which statistically far fewer people saw than the Dynamite 200 one. The BCC talks some shit on the BFFs. This was definitely not the feud I was expecting after Blood and Guts. The Pac injury is awful, but they weave it into the storylines. Hayter and Pac missing Wembley though, that’s sad.
21. FTW match time, Jack Perry is sure to show off the title in Taz’s direction. I’m still surprised this match is happening now. On the spot sign: “Christian was right about Jack.” He sure was.
22. They shorten up “Walk” to go right into the crowd chant part, which I suppose when you’re not doing a long, slow, surprise debut entrance makes sense. I just can’t help but think what would’ve been if RVD’s career momentum hadn’t been halted by a traffic stop, especially considering how many places that stuff is legal now. I remember being there the night he dropped the title in the triple threat because of that. Knew it was going to happen but still held out hope that maybe it wouldn’t.
23. RVD does RVD things and gets a “you still got it” chant. JP really feels like he’s embracing his new role. Taz laughs about how he’s been washed up for a while while JP gets a table.
24. RVD gets a chair, so that’s bad news for JP’s face. Then he gets a few more. He’s apparently “like a surgeon” with those chairs. Why, is he cutting for the very first time? Does he have your kidneys on his mind? There are many profession metaphors I can think of, but surgeon? Hey, shit always gets weird during picture-in-picture commentary.
25. RVD does some chair moves, including a Rolling Thunder with a chair on top, which would seem like it would hurt him more, but hey, wrestling. How much of AEW’s roster owes at least some credit to RVD for influence? Rewatching some of those 90s matches, especially the ones with Jerry, they were before their time.
26. Ref gets knocked down. Gee, are there going to be some shenanigans? Jack wills himself to do a crash landing off the top rope through the table. Damn, that looked painful. RVD hits the Five-Star, but oh gee, there’s no ref. So why did you go for the cover? Aubrey makes the hero sprint to the ring, but JP kicks out of this one.
27. JP pretty much repeats the Hook match, low blow, using the tights for the roll-up, etc. At least it was legal in the match this time. Taz promises something’s gonna happen about it. Promises, Taz?
28. Renee is backstage with the Lucha Brothers this time. They each get a line or two in to further preview the tag match tonight.
29. The AEW dodgeball champions are also here in person. MJF does his best to retrospectively edit his old comments about the Midwest. He waits for the lightning strike, as does AC. These two are ridiculous and I love it.
30. MJF thinks that AC challenged him to a promo battle. After a few insults, AC screams that’s not what he wanted, and the crowd doesn’t like that. The line “we’re gonna make history at Wembley” gets mild, polite applause. But the idea of them having tag gold? To borrow a phrase from another team, ya gotta give the people what they want. AC wants the ROH tag titles, and apparently also wants to wrestle at Zero Hour the same night for them. Oh shit, MJF wrestle TWICE? IN ONE NIGHT?!
31. MJF: “Daddy’s a sucker for a cheap pop. ::eyebrow waggle::” Then accidentally says A before “kidding” then remembers what tag titles he’s challenging for. Even the errors are magnificent. And we’re getting MJF and Adam Cole vs. Aussie Open on the same night. Wow.
32. Roderick Strong comes out, sounding like Pablo Francisco’s dancer roommate, and MJF gives him a dose of heel insults, in the style to get some “what” chants. Nobody is getting cheered over these guys. AC is conflicted though, which makes Roderick say The Kingdom was right. Oh shit, not the Kingdom. You don’t go there. The Kingdom comes out and hugs him like he just went through a break-up. Wow.
33. MJF laughs about it, but AC pushes him before apologizing. They chant to hug it out because it truly is Team Hell No 2.0.
34. Now we get a Collision recap, because this is a thing now, I guess. Punk/Joe at Wembley, CMFTR and House of Black on Saturday though? Damn. That’ll be awesome.
35. X’s “Wild Thing” hits just a little harder in my home state. It loops around like an Anarchy in the Arena match before the Lucha Brothers show up.
36. The Lucha Brothers make the sneaky entrance. Wheeler Yuta literally sees Rey before he jumps the barricade, but I guess he nicely got out of the way? I don’t know, they cut away before I could see.
37. I know there are way too many versions of the Joker and the character is overdone to say the least, but damn Penta’s Joker look is freaking awesome.
38. Wheeler the little shit does little shit things and nearly gets the BCC a win, but it’s far too early in the match for that. Will it still end up being a triple-triple threat match at some point with Pac being out?
39. The crowd seems dead for this, but that’s bound to happen when you have to follow the hottest act in the company at the moment. Maybe it’s just the heel heat portion of the match?
40. Fenix hides down Claudio’s back on a Doomsday Device attempt, and that seems to wake things up a bit. Mox does a brilliant Flair-esque sell of a kick, which as a lover of HAM, I always appreciate. The crowd is chanting that it’s awesome, so who knows?
41. What is with these signs tonight? Look at the time, 1998 already. Where’s the laser pointers fucking up cool entrances while we’re at it? That being said though, all the pro-Simon Miller signs are golden.
42. Penta holds Mox in a piledriver position while Fenix jumps off for the double team. Penta must’ve been distracted by one of the weird Ohio signs too, because he decides to go down a few seconds later. But before anything else happens, Penta’s mask is torn off, Wheeler gets involved, the trunks are used in a pin for the 123rd time this month, a roll-up ends another match, it’s chaos.
43. Claudio puts on Penta’s mask to remind you, if you didn’t know, they’re the heels. They say the BCC are unstoppable, and they’re not sure there’s a more powerful force in wrestling. Um… You mean that team that went 1-3 in their recent feud against the Elite? They were stopped. Multiple times.
44. Kenny Omega and a suitcase backstage. His yellow shirt is less impressed than he is. He’s gonna reveal what he’s gonna do for the future with a good old-fashioned JR sitdown interview. Damn, the nostalgic vibes are all over the place tonight.
45. Swerve and the Mogul Affiliates (except Big Bill, possibly?) are there to discuss their home invasion, and this group is really obsessed with keeping bloody clothes as mementos, aren’t they?
46. Swerve brags about how the Mogul Affiliates have taken over. Sure they have. They say they’re above the law, especially in their city. I mean, Tacoma though? Sure, I guess.
47. Darby with no music waited a week to deny everything AR Fox said. He was the Triple H to his Shawn Michaels, though it’s hard to focus on what he’s saying with Nana yelling shit the whole time. Darby comments on Fox’s new friends, but hey… Darby’s got friends too. I mean, at least two that we know about.
48. The lights go out for a long-ass time, long enough that Tony has to keep wondering if it could be, possibly, maybe? Sting is there, back from that unfortunate table-to-mouth moment, Swerve has a bat to Swerve’s throat, but even he knows that he has to point to a sign for it to count. Sting vs. Swerve? Or Darby and Sting vs. Swerve and Fox? The latter would make more sense.
49. Saraya has a match? Haven’t said that very often. Kudos to Rampage for the cards they’ve been booking recently, though. I guess Skye’s losing that one too though, gotta give Saraya that pop.
50. Oh hey, the Bunny is back sooner than the Limitless Bunny pack drops. July 25th lolnope. Good for her, the real one, but damn it wasn’t a good look to wait until the week of to say the release dates weren’t accurate after there was already an 18-month delay for a too-small roster to begin with.
51. The women get the main event again, but still can only get one match on the show. We’ve got Anna Jay (No AS) against Shida and her new music to fit her new championship reign. I expect Hikaru to retain here, and Saraya to win both for the return pop and so they can play the “Outcasts unfair advantage” card in the match at All In. Britt getting in as both an original to AEW and the first All In will make it a sort of Outcasts vs. Originals match.
52. There’s actually a dueling chant with some stanning Anna Jay? I suppose she did get a good shine earlier tonight. We’ve still got 2.0 there yelling through the entire match. After somewhat of a face move for all of them, they’re still doing the same thing as always, so the dissolution of the JAS hasn’t completely altered the plans.
53. The match is perfectly fine, but this dynamic with heel shenanigans has been used a lot tonight. Too much.
54. Hikaru hit the Katana goes for the pin. Pretty sure Ang was supposed to get her to the rope or something, but whiffed on it, so the ref called it as a shoot. They try to cover for it by saying he was trying to revive her or something, but that was awkward. Shida retains, which isn’t a surprise, but the ending… Yeah.
55. This show felt nostalgic in some good ways and some not good ways. AEW has a habit of building things up for a long time but then hitting a holding pattern in the final buildup. Though with all the recent injuries, I can’t exactly blame them. This show still had some good moments, but at other times felt too disjointed. The number of recaps was higher than usual, I hate that we now have to do the “point to the sign for every match” thing here too, though at least it’s not every two seconds… Yet. I don’t know. MJF and Adam Cole are still gold though.
1/4/23 – The Gunns
1/11/23 – Daddy Magic
1/13/23 – Danhausen
1/18/23 – Sonjay Dutt
1/20/23 – Stokely Hathaway
1/25/23 – Tony Schiavone
1/27/23 – Danhausen
2/1/23 – Jade Cargill
2/3/23 – Ethan Page
2/8/23 – MJF
2/10/23 – STIIIIIIING
2/15/23 – Ruby Soho
2/17/23 – Dustin Rhodes
2/22/23 – Chris Jericho
2/24/23 – Matt Hardy
3/1/23 – Big Bill
3/3/23 – Jungle Boy
3/5/23 – MJF
3/8/23 – Anthony Bowens
3/10/23 – Riho
3/15/23 – MJF/Darby Allin/Jungle Boy/Sammy Guevara
3/22/23 – STIIIIIING
3/29/23 – Juice Robinson
3/31/23 – Eddie Kingston
4/5/23 – MJF
4/7/23 – Darby Allin/Julia Hart
4/12/23 – STIIIIIIIIING
4/14/23 – 2.0/Biff Hager
4/19/23 – Sammy Guevara
4/26/23 – MJF
5/3/23 – Triple J/Mark Briscoe
5/5/23 – The Firm Deletion – All of it
5/10/23 – Chuck Taylor and Trent Baretta
5/17/23 – Toni Storm
5/24/23 – Jay White
5/28/23 – Darby Allin
5/31/23 – Juice Robinson
6/7/23 – MJF
6/9/23 – Ethan Page
6/14/23 – The cardboard cutout of Saraya
6/17/23 – CM Punk
6/21/23 – Adam Cole/MJF
6/23/23 – Anthony Bowens
6/24/23 – Powerhouse Hobbs
6/25/23 – Will Ospreay
6/28/23 – Keith Lee
7/1/23 – Andrade
7/5/23 – Adam Cole/MJF
7/7/23 – Daniel Garcia
7/8/23 – Samoa Joe
7/12/23 – Jack Perry
7/17/23 – Ricky Starks
7/19/23 – MJF and Adam Cole (not even close)
7/22/23 – Ricky Starks
7/26/23 – Jeff Hardy
7/31/23 – Samoa Joe
8/2/23 – Swerve
8/4/23 – Kris Statlander
8/5/23 – Christian Cage
8/9/23 – MJF and Adam Cole